Last night I heard your voice.
It was the last time , I told myself, that I will run through the mist
Run through the woods. Howl at the moon like a wolf holding my soul in this cage.
And when I draw to my knees, on this downward spiral. Intertwined in my shadow. Watching your presence grow. Watching this play unfold.
I told myself countless times, that this would be the last. This would be the turn I was waiting for , for so long.
Without reprieve , I walk yet. Looking in solemn awkwardness for those who have seen you.
I shook with rage, I shook with spades in my soul.
Dug your own grave ever? Found it in the middle of the road, on the shores of nevermore. Found it atlast in my head, digging deeper. Sound scorned. Sound like that you haven’t had enough. Just like I myself, never got the fix. Never got the fill.
Desire is a dirty word, love is a painful heart attack. Hate is nothing-ness with a form. Light dimmed in this soul. Let the pilgrim out of the cage. Let him out for he is thirsty for blood.
And another night without thy sight, as I crawl on my knees. Wounded and burnt with separation. The howls become deeper.
In tune with my wolf mould. In keeping with the garb of mine. Of stolen tenfold is my nature.
Keeping with the satellite in the sky. Banished like the diamond in the sky.
One day, wasted self enters me. It seems like the end is near, but would it release me.
The kings enter the dungeon. Only to be eaten one at a time. They all smile. They all seem calm at the growls at the other end. Wanting their wasted self. Wanting to rip it off. But is this is a release. Would the king ever become a beggar. A beggar without the need for his bowl.
Practice Thavam , it enters from no where. It will leave no where. It is not present or not present. It is like the water which flows in the rivers of your mind. Flowing now. Without beginning or end.
As you spend your days in this Thavam, the compassion for the self and the no self. Becomes one with myself , leaves a fragile rose. Leaves it here where once your thoughts so roamed. They now cease. They now never where. Like you or I or the veil intertwined.
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