Monday, August 15, 2011



The fear of someone eating another in this day and age (and of lore) is very real indeed. The north American tribes have a legend of ‘Wendigo’ which describes what happens when a person turns cannibalistic.


A wendigo is kind of a ‘Rakshash’ or a ‘malevolent spirit’ who looks angry distraught unkind emaciated always on the prowl; present in regions where its too cold and the land frigid and barren. He prays on human beings, and the more he kills; the more he wants to kill. For he is unlike an animal which hunts only to satisfy its immediate hunger. A wendigo is ever hungry, not for food but for the kill and of course human flesh/innards.

The myth is propounded as a cultural orientation- that the tribes used it as a strong message that no one ought to eat another even when the going gets rough- during times of famine and heavy snowfall. The message is that death is better than being a wendigo- which has greed and gluttony as its saviours. A wendigo shall never wither, unless it be killed or die on its on accord. The wendigo is a powerful anti-human. It shall survive on human meat.

But apart from the cultural aspect, what I am actually interested in is the actual aspect of when and if a person does start consuming human flesh; what happens to him.. do not mistake me for some sort of cannibal. I am a vegetarian and I abhor mindless killing (even of plants) for the sake of hunger. I have intuitive understanding that when one consumes another living conscious being (after recently being killed), they absorb the energy patterns of the other being. This goes to say, that when something/one is killed and is consumed for the matter of consumption; more often than not the being which is killed knows the reason for its death (in death are no lies). The being might choose to be agonized or curse. The energy now being consumed literally by the hunter affects the beings thought process- again a matter of energy to me.

So if someone consumes human beings- the most conscious of all the beings when it comes to certain aspects of consciousness- this might cause unusual increase or change in energy pattern of the hunter. It might cause the person to become addicted to human flesh- (many aghoris across the country are similarly addicted to this source of power)- and a hunter who does not know how to control or use the excess power/energy of the flesh might actually fall prey to the fate which ‘wendigos’ supposedly become.

The greed that man possesses is notorious in the animal kingdom. The true irony of the tales of lore are that they suspect man of being greedy enough to destroy even his own kind; you might say that the nature of hunger is such. I tell you that the nature of man is such.


Thursday, August 11, 2011

Govind National Park



Uttranchal is gods own breadth. It has manifested itself through the green unspoilt hills, the deep ravines cut by the clouds and the rivers flowing in between them. The deep serenity of the animals residing everywhere in between and the simple human beings who inhabit the deep unknown abound.

Uttranchal is where I could find my end. And I am quite sure of the utter knowledge of ends. Its where there is power, and there is energy circulating from the feet of the holy himalayas.

Govind national park is close to uttarkashi. It still remains utterly unspoilt and almost hidden to outside intruding forces. Its very un-inhabitable terrain and the people here are a source of strength to the enduring human and divine will and spirit.

Though formed young and in its nascent stages, the national park is perhaps one of the richest in diverse variety of florae and faunae. Its fabled to be the place where the hindu god hanuman flies to get the divine life giving herb called ‘sanjeevni’ to revive his master lakshman (the brother of divine man god Ram in hindu mythology).

The area is quite prone to downpour and landslide, and when I visited it was not very different. the roads are extremely motor unfriendly and only a four by four or a mahindra jeep can tread here. The locals are cut of from the world, and unless one has a satellite phone (or in some places a bsnl), you cannot communicate with the outside world. The place due to its extreme solitude is also haven to people who want to grow narcotics or such (told to me by loads of forest officers-because this is an extreme cause of concern for the local authorities).

Most people here are illiterate and are bound to either farming or joining the army to get a pay. The place is where yamuna officially starts and many pilgrims make way to trek to yamunotri, though when i was there, most people who had gone to visit the place where stranded due to heavy downpour.

Local legends and belief in mountain power is rampant. There are cases of black magic performed on each other regularly and I don’t quite concede its due to the low level of literacy which has led people to tread onto such paths. The mountain air and atmosphere itself is quite ethereal, even to a ‘logical’ person in any aspect. when he/she enters such an atmosphere… there is a certain understanding that human knowledge and comphension has never been able to pierce what mother nature knows, what the hills and the trees and the rivers know. For they have traversed unceasingly even while standing in a single place. They have flown through endless miles, while shimmering at the same place. Its this understanding that the humans on these vast and desolate regions have also known for eons together. They know that there is power here at work, not the power to kill, but to nurture and create. To make one whole by being and not just doing. This understanding of the unknown and perhaps even the unknowable is what these humans try to use to their advantage albeit unfortunately against each other, and for petty gain.

I spent a week here in solitude, often not speaking at all, and eating very less. There are no restaurants or fancy tourist places to visit here. there is only solitude and simplicity at its best. I read and meditated and cleared my head of the garbage which the city brought to fore (over and again as often as one lives in one). The mendicants life in and near uttarkashi was not bad at all, if i might say so. (I have read about many saints who have wandered and spent their lives regaining themselves amidst these hills and quiet valleys in peaceful meditation). And I was not awed at why they did so, it was simple and clear, the life led amidst humans could only take one so far in the path of evolution. It could only bring so much understanding of our states and the environment in which we were bred. The true knowledge and wisdom of life is amidst nature and its bounty, some of it dangerous to the body and most of it nurturing it. The understanding that even a grain of the holy earth and the sky contained infinite consciousness, if not in the form of bodily life; then in the form of mother nature/earths power was true and abundant in these hills in and around uttarkashi.

Some one must make us understand, and I am thoroughly sick and tired of it. I feel alone sometimes, that no other human being is able to understand how completely full of ourselves we are. We are not god’s grand design, and yet we behave as if we are. We merrily destroy what has taken eons to create and sustain without a single care. I am not saying that we should change, I say that we must see change towards nature and being with nature as an option. Our generation has never even witnessed what nature could be like. How beautiful and life giving it truly is. We think malls and shopping centers give us our life. No how much we underestimate our true potential. Our true NEED for the wild.

And I completely assure you, out of the many many many trekking routes to kunds and peaks there are in govind national park, pick one plan an outing. not a picnic. Just head out and walk up and down, meander around and ask for nothing. Oh you will receive everything and in oh so so plenty!



This is one of the most beautiful songs without lyrics I have heard, by the dj Xenomorph from the album Demagoguery of the obscurants.

Its a must listen, for we enslave ourselves true to the name by consumption. The DJ has a history of attacking capitalistic nihilistic natures within ourselves.

“we are losing autonomy and replacing autonomy with consumer rights”

Do ask yourself,

Why the need to consume? and everything?


Monday, August 8, 2011



Met her for a single night; filled with ball room dancing and dreamtime kissing. Fell in love with her every time, in innocuous innocence though she remained a lifetime ahead. Murdered her and it was not a crime; for fatal beauty is better dead than lived.

Sands of Nairobi blew over my wrecked face; as I could see the millions whisper about their lost race. In truth; destiny had forsaken us all to this lonely desolate space. Their was never a salvation at hand, and the black faces with their haunting eyes could never fathom the depth of the fatal flaw they had undertook. Never fathom that death was always at hand.

specific time and an unknown place. The axe brought down with force and blood spurted like eternal splendour on another's face. The singer grimaced and a hoarse cry escaped his gullet. The king was not impressed and ordered every soul to purify his neck. The swift blows caressed the flawed followers one last time. Fatal and forever.

Your fatal flaw was to witness the birth of your end. Your fatal flaw was to read over the texts which have not brought you any respite from your whirlpool life. Your fatal flaw was to associate with the neurotic and psychotic existence and everyone in it.

So you kissed your muse and she bit you like a rabid whore. You sank your mouth into this wonderful life and came out with syphilis for a cure. Your body cannot redeem itself, It cannot even afford the space required to bury it. You built castles in thin air and print more paper to call it your life complete. You procreate and fall in love as an excuse for the fatal flaw of the gods. The fatal flaw that is your own.


Without Pique/Eternal and New


N rose from the only furniture he owned; his leather recliner. He rose only to fall again.

Rain had poured all through the day leaving everything outside damp and renewed, yet lifeless and cold. The window had been left open on purpose. To see as if something would invite itself in, Yet even the rain drops had chosen to stay away. There was something more lifeless it seemed within the four walls of N’s home.

It wasn’t his home or abode; it was more his tomb than his shrine. His thoughts mildewed inside his head, thought of piquing some which way through his tongue, yet dissolved themselves finally in the recesses of his emptiness.

Sunset caused the entire city to be sunk in golden light, outside couples and families enjoyed the first sight of the sun in oh so many days, yet N’s study was as ever before, a damp yellow lamp lit day and night in a corner, books and notes in another; the pipe breathing and exhaling smoke irrespective of any other.

N chose not to be a thinker, nor to be a seer or one who indulged in feelings. His mind rose in chaotic waves due to years of solitude which sometimes has the opposite effect in beings for some odd reason. His heart trampled by one two many women in his youth, his thinking befuddled by one two many tricksters who tried to teach him the way to the soul.

Yet N remained without remorse. This one true gift he appeared to have been showered by the gods. He picked on his nose, and felt his hair falling every time he ran his hands past his scalp. He was confident about his end, this one true opportunity of life he had never wanted to give himself up on. To some trick of fate or some trickery of man or god.

N rose once more, he balanced himself on the ledge of his window, and though his dexterity was impaired by his age, he somehow managed to step one leg at a time on the ledge. The ledge offered itself up to the back channels from the river sien, He looked at the cool and calm day and the many such days which had passed in his life. Thoughts virile and turbulent shuddered once again his nimble frame. He had had enough of himself this life and for many more. He had enough of the ego centricity that living beings extend themselves through and through their entire waking and dreaming cycle. He had but one final pending thought waiting to fire through the neurons of his head; that there was never any choice. All actions and potential extended through his life lead to this point on the ledge. Yes the ledge had called him as he had called forth the umpteen thoughts baseless and useless all his life; and as the this thought subsided one more rose; that the thought itself was of no use, neither was any action he was about to indulge himself in..

Almost as the thought registered and recognized itself in N’s being, he jumped. The jump would have been ordinary and normal and utterly without beauty to anyone in any ordinary circumstance, yet to N, it was an experience first time like never ever before.



cataclysm arrives on the door. It knocks once and not once more. You are invited to open and show it around. If you wish to; offer a drink to it, then brace for some salsa with your uninvited guest. Your nemesis and your anti thesis.

I look around in amazement as you lie on the floor; you were going to amuse me, and you ended up rolling up dead. What a series of events; all so random and sly, take place with the assistance of the fogged up memory. It looks like I could have averted your sight all together, but then hindsight could be all perfect.

Psychotic and rampant, you jumped off the cliff. Your fell to your salvation and left me bleeding instead. Why such rage in your heart towards your own life. Did you think that by showing me the meaning of your carelessness, you would be saved? You were indeed saved; you died as I was left grieving forever.

I danced with you once, and I shall never dance with you again. You have taught me the tough lesson; that is imprinted and hardcoded in my head. There is no sunshine when you were here, and now that you are gone. The darkness you left is indeed deafening and split.

All ye who think that you will live forever, please don’t be deluded like my dear friend, He is indeed catastrophic, not to its own self but to everyone around. Whoever comes in contact with you is left a step near death yet never tasting its sweetness. What a waste, what a bloody mess indeed.

We take you to be a kind soul, a wise woman and a dear friend. In our ignorance you enter and make your nest within our recesses. Taking us for a deadly ride. You jump off and leave us to fend for our own selves. You are to be shunned in our minds and our hearts. There is no room for the devils darkness in us. Leave us to be in peace. Leave us to be in peace. Leave us to be in peace.

Ode to Humanity

I am not a big fan of human kind, the version of life that in today’s day seems to be only focused upon itself. The day’s pass and humans ...