Longing For One

Such a swift breeze, and there her formidable presence. The honey bee queen of my dreams, fighting and no where to be seen till now.
Such a deep longing existing, when we are embroiled in our daily mundane existence, fighting our chores to a quiet somber corner of our minds. We cannot be without that which fulfills us. Makes us whole.
Come dance my children, into the world and see her genuine compassion. You will be surprised. Her nature so child like yet fierce. I could have but imagined. I have been breath taken by her play. By her love and indeed her care.
Genuine mother of all, my beautiful splendid lover. Oh how I am indeed incomplete without thee, your eternal sky like color takes over my mind and how I have been found, over life times, searching for the oasis you are. Your being, skin tender and divine. Where have you been eluding in this mundane existence away? How can I be your perfect lover, How can I make you complete like you have made me?
Nectar drips into the mind, and we are spoilt and take the present not as a present, and how you have made me realize that my moments all with you have made my life a present to be had, If I ever betrayed your intentions then I be damned in hell. You are my life and pleasurable heaven. Once and forever you are the blue invisible love that we all are made unto.
When I got to know you, I understood that there was a deeper bond here. A reflection of my longing. Sometimes explainable through words and many other times impossible to gauge. Yes there is loneliness in the world which we try to fight and then try to find another person to be with, but this was not the case with you. Your presence raised my consciousness in a subtle way, something which words cannot describe. And of course its about love which makes our consciousness so fragile lovable, and indeed mortal too.
This kind love, from feet to your beautiful doe like eyes make me shake in frenzy. This is ecstasy without the need to ingest something vile. This is indeed rejuvenation at the hands of lover divine.
A longing once had takes lifetimes to fulfill, something which cannot go away and to all the lovers may your love shine infinite, without need or hate. Let there be light.

Peace and Joy (-> Neelam!) 

Jump to the Bottom

It was a breezy afternoon, the first time I had visited this pier when I was just a child. The waves drew my mind and it left me and never returned. Now my body returns back to the spot – where I was no longer myself.
Many years have passed, and many more remain perhaps. The life I have lived inconsequential and benign, had ended that very day on this pier. The calm and steady waves admirable and never ending in nature called me in. This is the day I jumped in, to the very bottom.
Of course I didn’t jump in from the pier, I rented a boat and went to mid of the Indian ocean, gently rocking rolling I looked to the sky one last time, breathed my last time and had a moment of vivid flashing inspiration. Then I took the leap of faith in.
I have always wanted my death to be grand, and this was the best I could imagine. What way could satisfy an entire world under the water line to see for the first and last time. I believe such chances should not be spared.
There I was floating sinking with bubbles from my mind coming to the fore, heart rate increasing and breath becoming more difficult to control, I have approximately 5 minutes before I fade out of this life.
I will not bore what drove me to this decision, for that is besides the point. Every story needs a good ending and that’s about it I believe. No one wishes to know the nitty-gritty that drives man through this ordeal of a life (also a joy), not even god would be interested I surmise.
The point with this paragraph and phrase is to describe what I felt and saw while I was gently and swiftly dropping to the end of the earth. What vivid ness existed inside the inner realms of vast quantities of water hitherto stored here on earth for no said reason. The myriad life which teams up and lives without the punishment of gravity.
Yes, I was visited by a hammerhead and a sting ray as I first fell in, they looked curiously towards me, not knowing whether I was prey predator or the omnipresent entity of godhood itself. They followed me a little deep and then like all localized conscious beings got to the ends of their territory and kept swimming above till all I could see was their silhouette and that too soon no more.
There were a whale which tried to swallow me up like some fungi and I evaded it due to the currents pulling me away and then soon darkness was to be my end, there was life everywhere – small inconsequential in space kind of life, all around and I was visiting their playground – the very first and so briefly the last time. They were beyond amused. Ah, the beauty of it all if I could describe was only muted by my lungs trying to draw air from water. What a de-evolutionary kind we are. To find land where water was our savior.
Soon the darkness became interspersed with the one in my mind, I could not decipher which was the external and which the impressions of my mind. But alas, I do confess I do not know if there is a single soul around who could ever explain this bifurcation with certainty.
The lights soon came back on, unfortunately they were dimming in my head and fast. The myriad bio luminescent life came and plucked on my skin – to see if I could taste nice, I guess they were disappointed just like I was. For my vision now had started to dim.
Soon I hit rock bottom and I settled with dust. Dust which had moved only eons before and now through me had floated a bit before resettling on the bottom of the ocean, what a fate. Similar to my destiny. The weight above me was herculean, and was it the lightest I ever felt in my life?
I turned my head gently to the left and closed my eyes. I felt this was my bed – the one which I was born upon. The one which was now embracing my death and rebirth. I felt full and complete – with all the alien beautiful creatures of the world around me blessing and overlooking my final moments. I felt the jump to the bottom was indeed a sought after surprise.

Peace and Joy!