Wednesday, February 23, 2011


India has innovative methods to tackle paradoxes. It doesn't. I have seen such deep seated contradictions in the hearts and minds of people who inhabit this country, that it scares me. People here have some sort of mental condition as best as I can understand. I will of course elucidate with an example….
In many countries, prostitution is legal, in many other countries its there and recognized though it might not be encouraged. In India prostitution exists rampantly (You dont know how rampant till you finish reading this). Prostitution exists uniformly in every state and the condition of women in such an institution is pathetic to say the least. I don’t have any personal knowledge as I dont encourage such a practice, to lust and lust only is a very boring and ‘love’ less existence. I believe in love, but there are many who are into this business across the country, and its just an unrespected and dishonourable existence… and this is because of the societal attitudes and perceptions regarding this business, I am sure people are aware that prostitutes exist in India; but most of us, would never ever think about it in any kind of positive light. We would be horrified if we were anyways associated or perceived to be associated with it. We think the women to be animals or whores and the men to be perverts and bastards. This is I guess a very general basic explanation of the perception regarding this activity in India. Though its rampant; and truly one of the oldest professions in India, still there is no respect, security or care given to people surrounding it.
Now I will tell you another story about India, which is kind of similar to the one above, though we would completely willing to associate with it (unlike the reality above).
Its called the great Indian arranged marriage. Many people across the world, might not understand what I just said, but they would have heard about it (mainly cause Indians have populated the entire world by now). An arranged marriage is one in which the parents of the bride and groom meet first, they sit down and exchange notes about their kids, then they see whether this will work out. In many parts of the country this might be done by the fathers…men and not the women (these are the more backward parts of this country… where women continue to be second rate citizens mostly), so if the parents conclude they should meet the kids up, then a meeting is arranged. Now the funny part starts.
The arranged meetings could be once, twice or in more single numerals before both the ‘parties’ (the man and woman) make up their minds and either accept the ‘invitation’ to marry or continue looking around. If the ‘castes’ (caste means either the rank/merit of the person as decided on birth or by location or both. Caste is inherent in most of the religions present in India- inclusive of muslims, christians, Sikhs, Hindus etc) are the same, then its the only criteria required for the go ahead for an entire lifetime of matrimony, its kind of strange isn’t it. Many would say no there are more criteria, but in reality the caste and religious compatibility is the only thing seen as a cut-off criteria.
So if the green light is given, an engagement followed by a mighty marriage in true grand indian style follows leading to the night where the man and woman would be able to consummate in a safe protected and most importantly respect environment.
This is bliss, marriage and binding to mate as decided by elders of a family is what generally an average Indian man or woman dreams of. To be settled with a woman who would be his life partner (vice versa), but true to Indian standards, there is no way to approach but through elders and a network to get the perfect life partner. And believe me, the network to get you a legal mate is very intricate and extensive in India.
So you can go ahead and get a girl or a man, through a website (refer and so forth) or through priests and other elderly people- who want also to get their children united etc). Through the ages this has persistently felt like to me to be the same as the first story about prostitution in India, this practice is rampant and it basically secures one a fuck at the end of the night,
So why such great stigma against one practice while the other also aims for the same. Why do we imagine that prostitution is a grizzly act whereas an arranged marriage where there is not even enough time given to a couple to start loving each other is considered to be made in heaven. Where the couple are met up so they can live with each other and fuck to give a child (and let me not even get started about the great Indian expectations regarding delivering a child in record time for showing everyone their virility lol).
You can tell me a marriage is a holy pact and its where a couple meet up to support each other and what not. But my counter argument is very simple, human needs are the same, if a man wants to get wed or wants to goto a prostitute is because of his need to be with another body. to be united and be one and not feel lonely. This goes the same for a woman, though a woman would want to be loved and spend a lot nire time before she commits with her body to a man, and this is where I find arranged marriages to be even more like prostitution. Because I through personal hard learned experience have seen people who I cared for and loved to go away to have arranged marriages. And I have been left baffled and at complete loss to explain how people who once have known the joy of loving with choice would go ahead to accept someone to live with forever even without knowing them completely. So I just smile and acknowledge that I am living in probably the weirdest ‘country’ or area in the entire cosmos. This is true India, where legal prostitution – blind mating takes place with absolute reverence and at the same time dark and dingy corners of this ancient land still hide the true martyrs- the women who have either been forced into or have taken up prostitution as a means of livelihood. The women who spend eons trapped in their bodies, alone and pained at times knowing only the cruelty of human lust. These prostitutes exist at the periphery of Indian civilization, and can never ever be respected or even loved. This is the weird state of the country, where if someone by choice wanted to prostitute themselves, they would not be able to; they would be plain and simple ostracised by everyone they would ever know- even their parents, but on the other side of the coin is the great Indian arranged marriage, where parents become the pimps (dallas) and deal their children to forward their family name or lineage in some sort of sad hope of reaching immortality. This whoring act is respected and adored, where two people might actually be in a relationship without the true blossoming of love between them. Some times it might be perfect and others it might be just the starting of the deaths of the inner fire which we humans were built to burn higher and higher. 
I believe and follow my heart. I love and live free. I dont judge arranged marriages nor prostitutes, I dont encourage either of these. Because they both are the fruits of love-lessness. They exist because we have chosen at some time in this land, to give away the spontaneity of love and freedom for some sort of fake blanket cover of security and gene protection. It is truly extremely out of the world weird. My parents have wed through it, I see my former lovers wed by it, I see my friends wed by it too…. and its feels kind of weird to me at times, is it me who is incorrect when it comes to keeping such a view? Is prostitution really different from the traditional Indian arranged marriage? It probably has a lot of arguments for and against, but I am a simple person and I see the glory of something as exciting as love stemming free and every which way and I am easily swayed. I would rather find my love, in body and flesh even if it took me an entire lifetime than go for some sort of easy fix cause its the norm which everyone around us supposedly follow. So you may say that its harder implemented than talked, and I would laugh and sway my head to convey a nod; and say ‘ I have learned the hard way that love is an act of faith and fate in this country’  I really have learned the extremely hard way, of losing a part of myself and my love to understand the complexities and stupidities of routines of eras past.
But thats not the center of the problem, Whereas the daily pimping by our own parents is not considered to be a cruel act, the act of prostitution remains to be banished and treated like shit, result being the women involved in this business remain victims, targets and go unnoticed and in extreme pain. Why such biased feeling by this society? Are we not mature to acknowledge the truth when we see it, feel it, maybe even experience it. So if tomorrow I have an arranged marriage, I would honestly acknowledge that I was looking for company and the act if considered legal prostitution would be correct. I also see that an activity like prostitution exists because its in demand, and to demerit it while abusing it is something which only the maturity levels of a society when high, could stop. 
Please think about what you do in your life. Don’t label it, or shelve it unless you want to remain blind to the truth. Its your life, try to accept and experience love and everything will be cheered. Don’t think of yourself to be on a pedestal while others squirm in the mud. We all are one, let’s undergo a smooth transformation towards acceptance and joy. 


Unknown said...

Prostitution is worldwide, and is legalized through the porn industry which is very big in before you point your narrow mind at India....take a look at your own glass house.

America is a very very sick society.

Naga said...

Yes Aquua, I know prostitution exists everywhere, but the conditions of women in this business differs widely between a nation like India and America. Here prostitutes are little better than trash. But thats not the end of it, as I wrote... almost the whole nation (India) indulges in prostitution in the name of 'arranged marriage' and no one feels odd about it. Thats the true sickness

Pallavi Shachindra said...

hey Aru,
i think u have brought up a very thought provoking fact for "mindless" people to consider.If only we were self conscious and gallant enough to break free....
have you heard the Elephant story???

I loved ur blog..way to go dost!!

Naga said...

hey palla,
Thank you for reading my ramblings, I am happy that you liked it and yea we do have to be self conscious, gallant, brave and be able to challenge the social constructs which no longer suit us. Times change and we must change with them as well. Otherwise we are as good as dead even before tasting either life or love.
I have read many elephant stories hehe, which one would you be talking about... ?

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