Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Use The Man

The part of us which is most useless and profound;

There are three ways in which one interacts with the world->

1) Using the empathy : So you look at the man, You see the arrogance at times, the slothful misplaced pride. You see the hunger; the need; and of course the greed. You empathize, You know that you could be him/her. You could be the fall of man, You could be the reckoning of apathy. You can feel  as the other does. When you do so, a great wave of bonding. Of unified existence felt exists. The feeling of empathy is one of the paths which we can use to get over the shit of daily life. Indeed? It requires only one and perhaps the toughest condition; That everyone must practice it. Even if one does not feel empathy. Does not try to use consciousness to understand another; and through understanding oneself first; you can bridge the divide. The physical divide between bodies and the individual mind. But a single ‘rotten’ apple which does not use empathy to live, shall make the entire bunch go awry. Just the perfect case for humanity rather. You cannot make it, with this technique in this day and age (year 2012 AD). Why? Perhaps worth asking.

2) Using the I ruthlessly : I feel that this how most of us are day to age, We are saying well NO I don’t want to get in your way, I do not want to harm you, but well thats not exactly so, We do not feel that we should consciously and intently hurt another, BUT if and eventually when, another person or life form gets in the way of our Intent (of feeding our I, ONLY one I). Well then OUR dialogue goes like “As long as I do not get hurt, there can be another at my cost who can”. This can range from emotional, material and any and all other intents that we indulge in our bodies.

We do not want bloodshed and violence, but we cannot lose the convenience of our selves. We do not want to forget this individual I, and this individual I can only see how far it knows it exists- the edges, periphery of only ONE body. Where the local I resides. So what happens with time is, that this one I governs the experience of its own existence, and it will DO ANYTHING to make it the best experience subjectively of course. This could lead to us going to the extent of hurting another intentionally to make ourselves happy!

Sounds very familiar to me, I have been at its sending as well as receiving end. The individual I knows not beyond its own horizons as well. Using the man so that we can be happy, all of us, individually conscious yet happy alone. What a shore of loneliness this humanity suffers from tonight; Can you see. I surely can.

3) The abusing Sing Song: Well this one is a no brainer, cause its the brain and know how of a nihilist. The void is all that is at the beginning and the end, we are born from it (quite literally) and end six feet underground. The void is all that there is *and isnt*. Some quite literally might see this; the more you realize that the point to existence is pointless even if its satiated to all brim (both sensory, mental, perhaps even spiritual ecstasy). Some turn almost humble, innocent and go about their lives without care. Some turn violent, causing disarray and chaos and death. Changing the unchangeable real. Without a care again. So harm and hate will not change a thing just as love and peace. You understand? Using the man, for no real requirement or purpose. Just to kill that is to be killed. Enjoying the power thoroughly; to kill and maim. War gods, violent imagery from the subconscious. We are unable to overcome the IRRATIONAL nature which surfaces now and then? We have become numb to existence yet the knowledge bubbles up. Of our mortality and senility. You think I am kidding? Spend some time in the silence and self. You will know exactly what I am trying to say. And well even then the choice becomes yours: Some become the silent night, existing in the shadows and never showing their true light to the world. The mad saints and power people. Or becoming the worst of I. Well that is subjective ofcourse, but becoming the murderer, the delusion without point.

I guess after writing this, I feel that I was describing the nature Of I as satva, Rajas, Tamas. These all are pointless. these all exude different actions and re-actions.

There are so many ways in which the man is being used, we all are I mean to say. Most of us do not even have a clue how we have become like this. or what will become of us, how can we. There is not a clue in the world we have about who we are; how our current natures are; what is changing, and what can never be seen known or changed.


Sunday, February 26, 2012

Exquisite Embrace


Its almost an impossible thing; to be in love with the invisible divine. Yet to experience it through the senses. I will try to show you how it manifests.

Sometime back, I had to travel to Vijayawada in Andhra Pradesh for some work. Its an overnight journey from Hyderabad, and it felt good to travel even if were be on official purpose. I reached early morning and checked into my hotel, where the rest of my office crew were also to reach later. I had breakfast and went through the day (there was a training at hand and I was to coordinate it). By evening I was exhausted and wanted to see the place a bit, vijayawada is one of the commercial hubs in Andhra Pradesh, extremely prosperous and well to do, and though the city looks a bit shabby, but overall it has the feel of one of the upcoming tier – I cities of India.

I asked one of my superiors where I could find something of value, of history and perhaps of religious or otherwise importance. he in turn told me about the famous ‘Kanaka Durga’ temple in the vicinity. It is supposedly extremely famous- so famous that after people do their yearly Sabarimala trip (for the wild forest god ayyappa), they return to this temple before reaching home.

I went in a bike with one of my sales people, an extremely quiet and kind guy called Sai; he took me at break neck speed (mainly cause he too was extremely tired from the day’s training and perhaps wanted to reach home to his wife fast- I kept insisting to leave me be, so that I may travel at my own pace, but he was adamant in showing his town to me!)

We reached the temple, and I had to admit, if it were upto me; I would never venture close to such a temple alone, for it was crowded and filled to the brim with devotees coming back or going forth to sabarimala. It was one of the quieter days for the temple as I learned later.

My guide/collegue took me right inside the sanctum sanctorum; it would be probably one of the firsts, when I did not endure the gruelling journey leading to the idol. I went straight in!

It was a magnificent sight, the goddess was clad in yellow sindhur. She was decked so beautifully. Unlike most other goddess temple, here the worship was done in an unusual manner (non-shakti related worship-> bhakti worship). I prayed sincerely and was very happy to see a stone idol exude such grace. I prayed sincerely for the entire universe, not just for myself. Extending boundaries, and capabilities. It was such a release! The priests kind of told me to move, cause I was taking space so close to the goddess and the myriad others outside looking probably couldn’t see her.

Before I made my move to go out, the priests take out a fresh garland from around the goddess’ neck and hand it over to me, The smell in magical. Its a garland made of many many flowers, smelling wild and calling me to join. I love the gift. Though it was through the hands of the priest, for me there was no difference, goddess gave me a garland as if to spread the joy of ever new flavor/smell and wed me in her love.

This was such a personal moment for me, that I was almost in tears by the time I came to my hotel room. Within minutes the entire room started smelling beautiful. Just like the mother. I brought the garland back to hyderabad as well and even 3 days later, it was smelling just as wild as the day I had first received it on my hands.

I felt humble and blessed. Felt as if some entity still bestowed me with a little love; That perhaps I was worthy of this love to some extent, and that; just maybe I could share and give it back to everyone around.

This beautiful exquisite embrace.

Peace and Love

Friday, February 24, 2012

Major Beat


Frequency increasing rapidly; and the heart pounding madly. Its a sonata of epic proportions. The beat which makes this life happen is finally beating majorly.

Simple measures and straight focus. Intent and passion, dual natures of the basic natural energy refined. Kundalini divine. The serpent dancing wildly near the burning fire. All night for eons of time, shifts in conscious planes and jumping from one dimension to another; mind yields and the beat succeeds in making another one not turn the blind eye.

Major beat beating on the skins of our aura. Changing the external and internal landscape with invisible ethereal and raw force, everyone stands together mesmerized. Everyone’s tail bone starts shaking wilder, its okay to let go; thats the entire point of this exercise. Everyone knowingly and unknowingly obeys and that is surely worth our life. If only you could understand what it means, and what use it shall never have. There is divine melody like a subtle sarod string ~~ ethereal force once again comes to fore. How I am in love with this beat; and so are all of you around. Cause that’s the laughter, the fun of living. Beating faster our hearts beat matches the speaker threshold. Its indeed a enthralling experience.

I take time and remove the ignorant I. which sees duality through the eyes, perceives differences as not one but rather many. What a notion and it removes itself as quickly as it was planted. This is indeed freedom is it not? To change itself as required. Never the same yet ever the eternal Spirit un manifest. Love and Peace together.

I am not a fool to believe in this beat’s power. How it can transform ordinary mortals into fools dancing with some psychotic tune. SO absurd. Yet this is where I find that the two paths converge. The spirit takes hold and lets the ego relax. The individual perception remains awake and sees the spirit show true self. Is this forgetting, I ask? Or is this remembrance! I remember how its so easy to be free with nothing in my hand except the sand (from my dancing feet!) This is existence, reaping what you sow. The music let it take control, and you; well you must just let go~ To the Major Major Beats….

Its heartening to see human beings swaying to music, dancing how one pleases without hurting another. Individual and divine will reached at the same moment, same time.

You cannot tell the difference, the very first time. That is what I understand, but as the night progresses, and so does the music, constant and never ending. Enduring and endearing to the end. Beautiful beats consoling everyone who lends an ear. Its of course a huge ear ache, I totally agree. But what is existence without the dual present. and so is life. Complete with the noisy loud deafening and eternal namacivaya’s Beat~

Peace and Melody .

Lover’s Got No Name


My master’s master piece. Endowing enriching and ever bestowing. Love for eternity at the feet of Na-Ma-Ci-Va-Ya.

It was about the time, when I took off. Reached the edge of land meeting with endless blue sea. Everywhere the flow of slippery people; falling off the edge of sanity.

I wanted to escape into music, walked into the party. At anjuna, everything was mellow. Chill to the waves, sip a beer and just live here and alive! The music had already begun, it was stepping up. I looked at the dj at the console, a pretty goddess with a bindu on her forehead, she smiled at me, I know my day and night were being made.

It was a hot day, took off my shirt; put on my shades. laughed looking at the sky and started shifting my feet. Just like the many there, Just like the many not. I started finally to dance. And I loved it;

Love has no name; so says the master lord of nectar. Shiva eternal. I see her with no name; shifting her sway towards me with a drink in her hand. we dance close never speaking to each other, looking into eyes and looking away. For me, nothing is in the mind then and there. I move to my friends, I sit down. We are all close to the speakers. The mammoth creation intended to blow your mind away. I listen to the waves of music coming in and all around. I listened the night away.

Somehow, the crowd is not what I had expected, they were silent yet weird. They were all relating to the music or trying desperately hard. Some were known faces, and I danced laughing merrily at them. They laughed like the music playing everywhere.
Uv Bar is a small place, filled with UV Lights. The Lights are turned on after sunset. The sunset withdrew my fears, and as the night came upon> I became what I intended it to be. Dancing manic and with grace, drinking water and almost embracing the speakers. The music drooled edges of insanity almost.

The crowd loved it; it seemed. My friends were sitting close by, they were listening intently as well. Something almost ethereal was enduring. Lover so drunk in her eyes came towards me again. She was aged, perhaps over 40 years of age, still looking like a nymph, in skin tight jeans boots and a top, hair braided around and of course a drink in her hands. We danced together; wordless and beyond measure appealing. I asked her for her drink. And I felt the liquid refreshing me through her silent gaze. Almost admiring me; or trying to seduce. I could not be sure. Yet my love told me that it was all alright. For tonight it was about peace and master’s grace. Nothing else shall ever prevail.

She dances like a fox, yes even though I was not trying to be allured, I could see how beautiful she was. She knew me, I was not so sure. My dance could not be disturbed. It was a cooler twilight. The night so bright, with tiny dotted stars, and the myriad uv lit images and creatures put up.

I walked here and there, refreshing myself and soaking this almost forgotten scenery that I once used to know and love. The people all in and out of their senses, all laughing and dancing and smoking and drinking, the night yet so bright!

The music changes course and becomes even more erratic. There is no continuation; only very creepy and freaky sounds pouring through the dark void that are the speakers. my friends and I are still sitting and enjoying ourselves thoroughly, My lover with no name walks and sits close by, she wants to kiss. I want to endure. This is the fate of such a night

I dance and she comes close almost kneeling for a kiss to my nape. I am forgotten. I tell her its not happening tonight. Not tonight lover, its silent and holy

She leaves me through the party alone, coming and peeking in, but I am nowhere to be seen. My dance so paramount, my prayer so sincere. I mean it.

The party has become furious, there is new blood and people are running helter skelter trying to shy their ears and go crazy at the same time listening to such terror. The beats are abominable. They cant be withstood. Yet the night has just turned itself on its head. my lover; so bewitching and innocent. She sits next to me, and speaks in fluent hindi. Maybe czech or russian, maybe from another world. I could never know, she wants to be loved. Yet would not tell me her name. Such mystery, such intensity, such silence. I have only dreamt of such a moment. I speak gently to her, tell her that she has drank too much. That I love her, through my eyes. Through my heart. I dance and she looks at me with pretty intent eyes, though its night. I can see awfully well. We sit together and embrace, dance and embrace. I do not know; why I did not kiss her. Why I could not take her. Maybe it was not such a night. My master’s wishes always come before mine. She embraces me entirely, I tell her I am sweating and she hugs me tight. I do not have a clue what she had been upto, I hold her and talk about my so called life. I laugh and I love her completely. I hope she loves me as well. I hold her with intent and care. Without expectation of any selfish lust instead. Peace abound.

The rave reaches maddening heights. Yes I kid you not, this is not just a rave, this is a mood. The mood of many people come sub-consciously coming together one time many times over. Its brimming. I walk and I know how the universe kisses you without reason. I chant my masters name, and I know na-ma-ci-va-ya frees~

The lovely breeze blows over and we stay together, I go ahead with my friends, the spirit is not over. This creation has been re-born. Without a name. Love is.

Peace and Love. Happy Maha shiva ratri 2012.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Perched Balanced Life

I recently have been having too much on my mind. Too much is never a very good thing;
I always imagine myself in living a balanced life. Not too spartan and not too complicated. Everything in its limits and everything under the sun to partake.
But recently I have started questioning my inner intent. The philosophy I have taken to reach to here and now.
Cause always something is amiss, something points to dismal-ness. I don’t know how to quite express it. For the person away; afar; my life would be just fine. Balanced as one would see it (though it doesn't seem so, yet the intent is potent I assure). But then I end up getting not what I bargained for. As in the goal/the end product is never balanced. Perhaps its my mind or the consequences of my action- seems to be totally lopsided one which way or the other.
So I gave up philosophy and inner talk. There is no point to prayer and love or even wisdom to live. This nihilistic attitude is not just another life perception. This is perhaps what Sartre or even Nietzsche have been talking about and living as and when they had lived (and mind you; even their lives might seem to be balanced in all aesthetics- but the end product; the consequence was highly controversially lopsided; hell Nietzsche even ended up suffering total dementia which became the cause of his demise).
So the next understanding is how to live balanced and also create actions which are balanced?
I don’t quite think we can create repercussions which can be predicted. A curse and a blessing; the root cause of karma/work and re work are to best of understanding not predictable. Some might curse a particular action while others bless it, creating endless waves of energy flowing in some sort of dimensional matrix (of perhaps consciousness) which go ahead and affect the intended. Some where this is what I feel has happened to myself too; I have created balanced actions for living, enjoying aesthetics and never just overdoing one thing, I do believe in overdoing everything; but the consequences of these and how other consciousness have responded to it, have seemed to make me realize that there is no way to please myself to a comfortable grave.
The best way would be then to go underground, keep silent and shut the inner monotone/dialogue. Stop the entire sequence of events which make the everyday working of ourselves so seamless and forgettable. Raising our philosophy and crumbling them is the way of aghora. Something which is not for everyone.
So to start from where I initially started; I have too much on myself nowadays. That needs to be changed, has to be internally willed to make life totally inconspicuous, so that no consequence dawns its head on any other consciousness around. The act itself should be so pristine and pure, so without malicious intent and at the same time so irrelevant that no one can see any point in creating any attachment to it. This way; I live a balanced existence and at the same time do not cause any undue ripples to be formed in the consciousness; which would affect me again in the name of action.

Ode to Humanity

I am not a big fan of human kind, the version of life that in today’s day seems to be only focused upon itself. The day’s pass and humans ...