Sunday, January 31, 2010

Bigger Brighter Better!

Delhi comes alive at nights, the roads are desolate and empty, not a soul to see (what a wonder wonderful feeling that is for me !). The road becomes ones home, as long as one has fuel to burn... i find it difficult to acclimatize to delhi's bustling day time crowds. but nights are a different affair, There are umpteen places to see, and in darkness everything in your peripheral vision comes fiercely alive. One such place remains my favorite haunt; though its a bit risky to visit at nights but tuqlakabad remains at the top of my magnetic places to see on a full moon delhi night. Yesterday's moon was more brighter and bigger than most full moons (it was mentioned in paper, but most people who see the moon often could have noticed the difference themselves). Such occasions call for a vision quest in my head, For you see nights veil those sights which we don't need to see, and bring out those which in the day time would look completely different to the naked eye.
Years spent seeing things more clearly at nights, I have attuned my eyes very well both to amavasya and poornima lights. Star light too is an awesome source to see, but of course the white pale powerful light emitted by our astral tube light changes any and all sceneries to an out of the world image.
Tuqlakabad is near khanpur/kalkaji in delhi, its one of the 8 cities which have been inhibited in this arid land (Delhi), the ruins are not taken care of, but what has remained continues to remain- mostly rubble and some stuff which resembles ruins.
It is a large fort (and i am informed that it was a military fort, not a residential complex), and has an amazing water hole (baoli), which resembles more of a swimming pool cause of its depth and the beautiful concrete-rock diving boards kept at the top, one can go all the way to the bottom... and its a haunting site to say the least, i have explored this baoli umpteen times, and everytime it reveals something so pretty- isolated and serene, in a maddening zone like delhi with its even madder inhabitants, locales like these which offer some respite from thoughts and like are so welcoming.
The full moon, shines off all the shrubs inside the fort, and the rocks/rubble itself. There is a magnetic feeling here, its not the safest of all places (a very dangerous place at nights as I understand), but most of the times i have vistied (at night), it remains secluded, quiet as death and so intense. The feeling of leaving 21th century so called civilization and going back to mughul times is something which i have secretely hoped for all my life, its kind of a fall back of living in delhi all my life, so many ruins and forts and palaces and tombs and all so grand, with rock made buildings and roads, the feeling is one of freedom and complete relaxation (mentally).
Yesterdays full moon, was daring in her appearance, bold and naked and beaming white magnetic light down, my friends and i were dazzled by her and we stretched the night exploring the nooks and corners of this ancient zone. Surprisingly we dint encounter a single human inside the fort ( a guard, cop, thief, blah). This gave us ample freedom to chill out and explore the heights and depths of this former military fort. There is tuqlak's tomb nearby (outside the fort), and its a desolate single standing structure, only lit by white light, it looks like something out of this world...
I like to explore isolated places by night, one there is no interference by outsiders, no hassles and the tension that someone will be always looking over your shoulder seeing what you are doing (as is the case in a populated country like ours), always looking for a sign from history, a relic, a sign that someone from beyond the grave has left a message, a sign of their immortality, their humanity. Its something of a showstopper in my head. The fort doesn't offer much relix advantage, but it does offer a vivid scenery from out of the world, every corner is dark and what will appear from where is a mystery not even the fort would know. Always worth a safe visit at nights for all enthusiastic to see something different and adventurous and perhaps even mystifying.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Karma Yoga

A being who is capable of working, without goal.. yet achieving them is an absolute godhead.
Why is (all mean the same btw) considered a yoga (union). You would notice that most people who preach yoga, dont actually do any work themselves, but many an enlightened master has preached that karma yoga is the sure shot way towards emancipation, from sorrow and rebirth.
The pure joy of working without the goal in mind, is the universe and god hood acting through you and me. the work, in itself when one undertakes with spirit and heart, with toil and love. It becomes an act of creation. True creators are karma yogis, they are able to create something and yet at the same time retain the wisdom to know that no one creates, as much as one is created.
The gods of heaven too, create incessently with joy and love, without reward or goal in mind. verily the entire universe is in an act of creation, and this is karma in essence. The true karma yogi can create with her will. Without a "personal" goal attached to the act of creation, this verily represents yog/union.
To me this is as close as i can get to karma yoga, when i am involved without concept of self or day and night, to work at something, without knowing what that is- or not being concerned with it, cause what will happen when i reach a particular goal? il stop, rest and die. That is not the way, work will always happen as long as the breath in this body is present, its upto you and your wisdom to know that work to be done is not a consequence of any attachments to it. Its just work you see, work which has to be done, for the universe works with such 'work'. This is par excellence karma yoga. Be one with the universe and your god, work day and night without acknowledging the results. Work is the union.. being goddess of your creation.


Friday, January 22, 2010


The lies which we adopt, to suit us are in the end but lies. Our origin, our destination, our concept of everything, all coated with lies. In truth; nothing is as it seems. The push down the cauldron seemed bestile at the moment, but it opened up my eyes. There are no truths no lies.. as soon as we remove the veil of I.
The cauldron holds warm indigo soul liquid. But that is the lie. The truth is that the cauldron kept inside the cave beyond human intervention, far away from all life forms, is at the exact point of the opening of a wormhole. The wormhole stretches furthest in time and space from earth. This is not a random wormhole formed and destroyed with natures designs. This is a deliberate travel mechanism built and sustained for a millenia under the crystal mountain for a specific reason. Wormholes stretch as far as they might yet they can never be held for more than a fraction in time, the alien master race of gods found the crystal structure of the mountain hospitable and the conditions precise for the sustenance of a same (singular) dimensional wormhole. My head submerged and no more, my body remains there yet my head is decapitated and whorled for timeless periods. I havent lost consciousness, but rather have in this speedy process lost the concept of I.
Landing in an alien terrain bodiless and without a measure of knowledge of what you are is, is fascinating. You are a true observer. Not a judger, but a kind of a rock. Having the freedom to see as what is shown in front truly might be. The understanding of a change, the demonstration of peace. The lives of the alien master race. Something which cannot be described. The gods, descended here on this hostile terrain. There was no coincidence of that. They linked the wormhole from both sides. This allowed them not to travel through crafts, rather through teleportation only. They set up colonies on earth, and more wormholes. Different gods with different designs took up different parts of this land. They grow different hybrid dna present here. Test tube the creations and see the fruits of such experimentation. The gods created us. No one knows who created them. The irony embedded. There is the acceptance of the arrival of a 2 chained dna molecule. The information sustained is compatible with their expectations. They grow adam and eva. The rib cage of adam taken and coded further. Africa becomes the birth place of man/woman. The nature of good evil, pleasure pain, war peace, ignorance and empathy all put in equal proportions. Experiment to see whether humanity will be as they have been (the gods), or will we take to another way. (what do you think now?). Gods have created us in their image. They set out wormholes to be precise in location concerning this barren rock called earth and they visit as they please. Humans call it divine intervention. visions of our father/mother/our savior.
This is not to say, that humans have never been able to glimpse into the world of gods. Philosophers called it the causal plane. Different plane, but never different dimensions. They live in the same dimensions as we have. Hence the validity of the experiment. Not to say that our gods cannot travel ascending or descending dimensions. Their world here in a 11-dimensional existence is the furthest humanity (As it understands) in the known universe. In truth, they remain at almost core center of the universe, humanity only arriving half way at the resolved space which makes the universe. The space of the 'universe' is most dense where our gods live. The reason why some of their physical characteristics- halo, lightness (levitation) etc are such. They are gods not because they chose it, yet they at the same time chose it. The dichotomy is that they never chose to be our gods, we were their children. Looking into seeing where their past was by making a future, yet they chose to be gods. They chose how they wanted to survive/exist/live and die indeed. They chose it consciously after eons of life transmitted coded information in them. What it life, remained their center point.
They look not to influence, yet even gods are habitual to extents. They set up colonies and in the primitive stages of the thumb endowed human, they try to tell us how to go forward. No, life is not natural. Inertia is natural and indeed if someone is not taught to live (Though subjective), then they will be all fine living inanimate as well. Humans worship the gods. They look to the sky to see how they will arrive. Sometimes through crafts and sometimes through wormholes. Humans make structures within which they worship the gods, the structures reminding them of the space crafts in which they arrived and the gods in stone inside, exact inspired replicas of the gods of lore. This continues for centuries together, and the gods actively reduce the number of blatant visits they hold; as they see the impact they are having on their children. Something which they had missed or perhaps (just perhaps), they wanted acknowledgement.
My head lies on the ground of an alien dark red land and a multi colored sky (if these were what they were in earth). I am not free to move; but as soon as i think that in my head, i float. A voice (or telepathic suggestion in my head) tells me that here thought is as mobile as your body. Thought like body is energy and if you resolve yourself, or if you are nominated (like i had been from my tribe), then you can use energy in ways unimaginable. I have all around view of everything on the planet at one go. I dont have any limitations. Limitations of thought boundaries disappear. It is like how freedom has been described to me by the elders of my tribe. Before i acknowledge this fleeting thought, i see the 3 elders who pushed me down to the cauldron in front of me, they are elevated a bit from the ground. The eyes brighter than the sun. The smile faded yet hopeful. They lift me to their level (mentally). They show the illusion of day and night. Through which i understand that all what humans are is because of this. If there was endless day or night, the race would not be able to survive (not all life on earth, but just humans). This is for the reason that even gods lived a diurnal existence. The importance of veil and un veil, truth and ignorance, balance and unbalance. Somehow at the center of this universe seemed to be the purpose of this universe (the gods visiting the multiverses, saw that in each kala- something they said to each of the universe in the endless range of multiverses) was balance and unbalance as demonstrated through presence and absence... basically duality. Many such existences advocated but one truth and many none and many universes had so many truths.....
The last part of the experiment was tricky, that is why they left one and only one functional wormhole on the earth near my tribe, they held the initial three of my tribe to be the successors and they remained immortal in human terms. They remained there forever. I had only seen them in this life, and never imagined the truth that these who i saw, they were there forever. No one had ever told me this secret truth.
They entered my head and explained what my tribe was trying to achieve. A new sense of purpose. in this decided fate of ours. We the tribe were the spiritual heirs of humans intertwined with our gods. We were the children of the father and the son. We the trinity were the holy ghost indeed.
Our life was an experiment, we had been born as humans, yet when we arrived towards our vision quest, we were bred with the power of our gods. They trans mutated us into something out of this world. Our tribe in seclusion remained at the edges of this universe penetrating a new truth. The balance between god and man. A new level.
The gods each touched what felt to me as my forehead, but as i had all around vision. I could not fathom what was being activated or felt. There were as many as a thousand gods (though our tribe had but one, perhaps a symbolic representation of our gods). Thousand different illuminations drawing me magnetically close, with such power touching my being and transmitting sheer energy with light (not light, but its something which comes closest to describe the sensory impact)
With each there was a foundation, it must be said. The I had been completely destroyed in the process of wormhole transfer- something to do with decapitation and its impact on the ego-molecule. But the foundation creates now another I. The I of a thousand and more gods and men. The purpose clearly defined balance and imbalance.
I reach back, same body not the same I. There is no cauldron nor a underground cave where I am trapped. It seems that I am in mecca, perhaps. Inside the Kaaba. Where balance and imbalance are played out. I am perhaps in the Vatican tomb where light and darkness are constructed and destroyed. I am perhaps inside the third floor of the kal bhairon temple in India where good and evil are demonstrated and replayed. I am perhaps within the temple of Ra under the vault where power and peace and side by side. I am perhaps within you as well. Where life and death are certainly present in the molecule. Molecule made from god and man.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Boiling Half Lie

Simply aghast at how fast my world changed, I stand mesmerized. The cave beyond human intervention opens up and swallows my soul.
The darkness is endless; and I walk on in silence, with the sound of footsteps as my company, my companions have taken their routes to find their truth, as does everyone in this world... finding their truth. I dont mean the absolute sarva truth, but their truth. So I shall find mine.
The depression which was once the great crystal mountain of lore, sinks further into the abyss. The quietude broken by the rumble once so often, I follow it intently; forgetting to think that perhaps this hum is made only for me. Sometimes we see signs where they are none, and sometimes signs show us the path and we dont believe them throughout. There is a cavity, enough to squeeze through a healthy man. As i had not seen any other in this subterranean world, i decide to pursue it.. bending through initially only to rise and move in a sidewards fashion squeezed till the ends between older than time rocks. i feel fresh air with a flavor of some sorts coming through from the other side. My torch might blow off, and then how will i find truth, how will truth see me?
The crevice breaks wide open into a huge hall, a dome of proportions to top it. There is dim light here, some residual light but how? there is no source, the cave is deep underneath the earth. There are open sores on the surface, through which hot gases are pouring forth. There is heat in here, why didnt my tribe ever settle inside these caves? especially in the cold harsh winter months.. something is not right. My gut almost explodes with such intuition.
There is no mistaking the scene in front of my eyes. There lies a huge cauldron at the center of this massive hall. It is bubbling something; there lies a massive hole underneath it through which the heat and gases pour forth.
Now i bring you back to my current situation, as i stand mesmerized; and just freaked out. I look around every corner to see reminiscences of human existence here. But none is to be found. There is something eerie... here in this hall.. There is no other way out from here than the way i came through, and as i look back to see whether the narrow cavity is intact for my escape, i fall down in a daze. The route present till now, is no more. I mean to say that i am trapped. This is not reality. There is no way out of this hall.. and as i now observe more closely, the entire cave has taken an odd shape; the odd shape being a perfect elliptical sphere of some sort, there is no rough edges anywhere on the wall; no stalagmites sticking out as i had noticed when i just entered the dome room. This was beyond me, I dont find the strength to get back to my feet, It just pounds down on me, why was i stupid enough to agree to come inside this abyss? what if i had just forgotten ancient bullshit lore and had stayed content back in my hutment, back safe in my village.
I breathe deep and then i try to find out the source of all this air, there must be some way out... i repeatedly roam this ellipse looking for the path through which i came, but its no more. there are truly no ways in or out from where i had landed up..
All this time i had been too scared to approach the center stage, where this huge cauldron was bubbling all to itself, its fumes mixing with the gases from various other small fissures spreading to the roof. There is an aroma which i mentioned, it was surely from it. The cauldron was definitely old, but it was not unused. That was my fear. There was definitely someone or something who owned this, and who they might be and where they might be, was my biggest concern.
I scream for help, to my other companions, but i know that tonight was such that even the gods might not come to my rescue, it was my vision quest and one makes ones vision or dies in the process.
The curtain lifts, the veil falls. The night at her prime, and madness at its peak. Such distorted sight as i embrace each step towards the ancient cauldron. There is a thick syrup in the making, bubbling to the brim.... There is a swift hand holding my shoulder. the fright is immense, wrecks my nervous system, and my voice sits silent... i turn around and see the three elders of my tribe naked standing in front of me, how can this be? there was no way to come here in this lair. How could this ever be?
There eyes are shining, never blinking. they look at me, scanning me i think to myself. There mouth emits fog, they are cold in this hot labyrinth of sorts. How could this be? I speak yet words dont come out. The time passes not, and their eyes just shines even more wildly. The spirit elder on my right points at the cauldron and the eagle elder removes his hand from my shoulder. He too now like the silent elder towards my left - all point to the cauldron. I look to it, and before i can recoil, my face is pushed deep within it.. all three hands at my skull.
The moments which followed removed all shackles.... broke down all lies.......



Monday, January 18, 2010

Boiling Half Truth

The space evens out as we climb higher, the plateau is in range; three days of horseback and everyone is saddle sore. The horses take to drink as we sit planted at the base of the only tree in this entire range. The surface of the earth pours nomadic wind at our faces. No water consumed since the holy journey began. we were together to re-invent ourselves. To absolve our former selves and create a new image. Both gods as well as mans.
In these remote heights. The wind blasts cold fury from each possible direction. It tells a man, how long he may live. how frightful his death might be, and every blast now felt the same on our skins. My two brothers and I ventured further before the sun set completely before us, and the plateau bringing upon the desolate lifeless scenery of an alien planet in front of us.
Many times i have wondered, whether this tribal existence on this tribal planet, whether it was home, as in earth. Or whether what i have seen through and through the blinking of my eyes, could have been another world. Surprise. The plateau breaks down into a ravine right in front of our eyes, the most massive mountain (and the only one) broke down and went underground many a millenia ago, when our ancestors reached this place, they saw the path built by the implosion of this mountain, a perfect ravine made underground, going deeper and deeper into earths solace...
Showing a distaste unfathomed, the horses break free and run off from our control before we enter the holy tomb. The crystal mountain beckons for apprentice, a soul sight for what the world is and what it is made to be..
Somehow no animal ever enters these deep ravines and with the moon of the background now coming to the fore, the path downwards at a gentle pace straight to the earths belly seems way beyond haunted. My nose breathes in icicles, as the cold dark moonlit starlit night finally dawns inside of me.

Some moments of time later its like....
The cave beyond the realms of human intervention now lies close. Its mouth shadowed withs slime, a perfect recluse's perennial home this would have been, had not my people found out what lurks beyond the surface is something of quite a find!
There is no shine, there is no daylight. As we enter, we pour camphor and oil at the caves left side, for the spirits which guard always look for favors. As I informed, this is a soul journey/ in my tribe as most, people at one time before being granted a permanent position in the society what they take as a "vision quest", i am aware that many cultures perform the same, and i have pondered deep and long for what could be the reasons for such an event, the centrality, the focus. The tenacity to draw out fear in every man woman and child!
The others and I now, split and take the 3 paths which we find, oh i must tell you, the cave beyond realms has a feature, which now dawns upon me... as many seekers, there are that many paths... deeper into the earth.. There were three clearly marked paths for the three of us. We speak not, we are not tired, for the cold earth has properties of heat lurking close, the heat keeps one alive.
There are pools deep within this cave, its length and breath  never been measured for its that endless... the crystal mountain imploded when the gods flew their craft on it. Imploded it beneath the ground, where the gods of ever-more stayed, here beneath the earth its said... for it was the heat which the gods needed to survive. This is what my ancients have told me through story time after time, but as a society.. we keep our distance from the place of our true worship till the day we enter it, all alone and all to be re-born and come alive. During my life, i have seen more than enough coming back with a silence binding their lips, a light glowing at each one of my elders corner of the eye. Something unspeakable finally revealing itself in humanity.
I take my fire torch a level higher to see the cave in all its beauty, the place is devoid of huge life forms, but is an excellent refuge for any animal trying to get away from the cold outside, its strange that nothing dares enter it. The earth rumbles here they say... I dont know what to trust. My intuition is afire. its alive, I start seeing the path which will take me to the ends of these catacombs.
Salvaging what I can of my bent will, i set forth, i could hear the rumble of the earth once more, i heard with intent this time around, it looks like the bubbling of a very deep endless cauldron... somewhere in here.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

No Attachment. No Delay

Freedom is inversely proportional to the number of things that hold your attention to them, I had got this weird message in some sort of post afternoon dream long time back, Your attention as mine, is diminishing moment to moment, we try to recharge it back by eating sleeping and meditating but its continuously diminishing without them, and we cannot do one thing about it. The fewer things that can hold your attention in this world, the easier it is for you to control your attention and where it wavers. for me it has been a perennial problem, as i continuously try to meditate many times, to try to keep that attention and the power it holds intact, yet its not in my nature unfortunately, attention is a torrid affair, the greater your karma (or intent to be in this world), the further and deeper your attention will spread, it will bury itself like roots into future actions by and on you. This is the cycle that your attention will reap, and it will bring about death at its end (closure) where the body nor the spirit can give any more - to hold the attention of the world together, and hence you see that the world you know will dissolve, you will disintegrate into nothingness, its not that you dont exist but ideally without the energy manifested as attention- you cannot assimilate- the i present is impotent to create.
This is what i believe is attention, it is almost the same definition as will to me, for if you can bring your attention towards anything/anyone completely - its the same as your will directed to create an action. Ofcourse, we see that no one has complete attention to generate towards anything in this world, people who do become proficient in their chosen field of attention. Time bends as the attention/will energy is brought to the fore- this is not metaphysical. Its in reality as well.
Will is not the same as attention (they are the same to me- as i believe in the end results.. ) as in attention is the flow of energy body towards other energy, but will is the ability to control the flow. To not flow at all is also will. This is meditation, for its conservation of attention, the attention becomes attuned. This attuned fine source (perhaps like a beam-laser) of attention energy can be directed; this is will.
When will acts, karma and re-action can be annulled, apart from other favors! But any sane living organism takes birth to actually send its attention forth. its the natural function of any organism. To bring forth attention. Only those who are tricked into holding attention back to fine tune it can sense its real power.
This is why lustful and social behavior apart from so many other distractive (attention requiring activities) are not encouraged especially when you grow older, for when you age; so does your attention- it wanes day and night. There is no replenishment (in the quality of attention i think, biologically its symptoms are dying of brain cells without recreation of new ones as in the case of children- as in if you notice children have greater ability to use their attention as well are more easily capable of divesting their attention- not possible for adults)
But people inherently are here-now focused, no one is willing to buy a proposition that you can use your will to attain what you wish for as long as you abstain from wasting your attention here and there here and now. That is why ancient sorcerers of South america, more often than not tricked their apprentices for a long time in their relationship before telling them what they were actually subjecting their apprentices to .. (telling a white lie, focusing your attention towards something for a seeming reward, but in truth it is to attune your attention and direct it as will)
Its been a difficult ride and not yet over, there is intent but the focus is lacking, i am ofcourse talking about myself and my trials to conquer myself. In the sense, that to control what can be, and control what cannot be as well. To let go , with the results known and to let go without any results in mind, the ultimate aim is freedom, for the will to be able to be free. to dissolve into sheer *.
No attachments, Nothing to Lose, No delay in gain.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Snow Beast

The winter poured her heart out; the skies opened up and snow flooded my heart.
I walked for eons together, no other human soul here with me, apart from my lovely yak, prodding gently with me...
At such great heights, with mist and clouds drifting part my hair; I walked for ages from one mountain to another, with my gentle friend by my side. She always kept her calm, when the cold enraged my lungs, kept my warm with her milk. Kept me sane with her warmth.
Once in a life, we sometimes get to know that we have a friend in another. My yak, she is such for me. A simple mountain man, I have no intent to descend from this dizzying vertigo. Only this gentle beast could help me keep up my ascent, what to say of such doe eyes, a fluffy furry animal with horns to gouge out the soul; yet so serene with a penchant for the ice. She pulls me up once again to climb further into the fog and the mist....
Her walk always steady till it snows on her fur, then she laps up the water icicles on her fat tongue, always looking intently and so innocently at me. My mountain partner, graceful and so full of love.
The valleys covered in thick ice. The rivers frozen from the source, and the trails covered up in blizzards to stone the soul. Yet my yak and I remain firm on our commitment; to roam these heights, from one summit onto another.
She laps up some food and looks towards me with such kindred gaze, I feel humbled to be in the presence of such innocence, time and again. My yak carrying my burdens through and through. lessoning my pain of existence each moment.
At nights, the skies open up and the stars shine uninhibited, the mountains reverberate silence. there might be melancholy in the hearts of men stranded at such heights, yet i feel so much more at home here and now; my yak breathes slow and deep, her warm breath covered up as fog as it exits her cute nostrils.
Yaks come and yaks go, yet you the yak i have gotten to know. how many years have passed and you have not complained once of this bearing load. This bearing load I shed onto you. You are my pillar, my inner strength to endure. My friend in the darkness of the day, My silent keeper on these tough routes of the older than time himalayas.
Stay high up; yak, dont come down to the plains where madness is abundant, my mountain queen... spread your silent love with your sweet innocent eyes. Keep your horns to fight away those who come to seek your death with human profit. Stay aloof in the heart of snow. Keep walking steady and slow... Wishing to see you once more :)
(for those who dont know what a yak is, well its kinda the cutest bull with a ball of fur all around it... quite the mountain teddy bears ! )

Ode to Humanity

I am not a big fan of human kind, the version of life that in today’s day seems to be only focused upon itself. The day’s pass and humans ...