Friday, June 26, 2009


A Yakshi, is a female entity, a kind of a spirit. in some parts of this country she is called as chudail. She is generally naked, decapitated or otherwise, with long flowing hair, and ofcourse a monstrous persona. I understand that there are levels of these natural entities, energy residues which move inside deep jungles and crematories.
Anyways, This is a recount of once when I saw this deeper truth. Perhaps
We were on way to kotachadri, which is the tallest peak in karnataka, we started off from manipal in the evening, with 3 bikes carrying six people, i rode with my roomate patel on his yamaha. We cruised for a long time. stopping for the usual change of mood we reached almost half of our distance in time, now the jungle patches started up and the towns became scarcer, the western ghats are truly holy and haunting at the same time in the night, i forgot to mention we were going to trek this beautiful hill at night. Though not completely insane, we chose this because it coincided with a full moon :) this we found out ofcourse only when the moon rose :)
Patel and I were on the lead most of the time, as the driver is insane, and I could not help the wind on my face. We stopped one final town before the thick thick jungles really started up. we had a smoke i remember, and then sat on with my ass on a bruised end, We rode.
We had left the other two bikes way behind and the darkness was immense, the light from the bike was the only illumination at this point of the night, it was around 11 in the night, sometime before we could see the moon, suddenly we both see a naked old haggard woman with long white hair walking on the side road, you must understand that this was at very quick speed, patel was cruising at more than 60 on that desolate lonely shadow of a road. and we see this, we both freak out in a second, and I instinctively tell patel to slow down, not that I am a moron, but i wanted to see an apparition of freak nature.
Patel speeded like a demon before I could even voice out myself, his ass in his mouth, I look back i remember and i can only see the pitch black of night.
There was not a town, not even a single blood ridden blood in any distance for eons at stretch. There was nothingness imparting itself on anything in those thick forests. Thick infested western ghat jungles,
I get hysterical in some time and start telling patel to turn around, chill out and finally I give up and start telling him bad horror stories, pattu is holding the bike atleast together I say. hahahahaha
A yakshi mesmerizes I feel, and thats what it is said about her, there are many practices in tantra which use these devis, these powers. They arent considered bad in higher powers. They impart material and spiritual wisdom, They can appear as young children, beautiful nymphs or haggard old women, there power is unquestionable for most. They hypnotize, they triumph.

Our trek in turn was perfect, and we reached the summit with the full moon beaming down upon us, beating down leaches we headed straight for our liquor to drown those highs into deeper highs.


Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Book of Thel~

To all bruce dickinson fans...
I love this song of his from the album chemical wedding the most of his entire lot. 
Song is evil to say the least, and powerful. Gets you in a tizzy when you hear it on good speakers.

Song to Listen found in youtube :

The lyrics : 

The mark is on you now
The furnace sealed inside your head
Melting from the inside now
Waxy tears run down your face
The whore that never told her tale
Relives it every night with you
Far off stands the lamb and waits
For the wolf to come and end its life
Stand inside the temple as the book of Thel is opening
The priestess stands before you, offering her hand out, she's rising
Come the dawning of the dead
In famine and in war
Now the harlot womb of death
Spits out its rotten core
Serpent on the altar now
Has wrapped itself around your spine
So you look into its mouth
And you kiss the pearly fangs divine
Happy that your end is swift
The weeping virgin cries in bliss
The snake and priestess, they are one
The veil of flesh is ripped undone
By the pricking of my thumbs
Something wicked this way comes
And when sleep takes you tonight
Will you wake to see the light...?
The burning sweat of poison tears
The river flowing red with blood
The cradle-robbing hand of death
Caresses every dreaming head
Waiting for the marriage hearse
To take you to the funeral pyre
So you burn the family tree
The generations burning higher
By the dawning of the dead [x4]
What demon hath formed this abominable void...
This soul-shuddering vacuum?
Some said it is Urizen -
But unknown, abstracted, brooding secret
The dark power hid....

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Voodoo People

The eternal cynic. The eternal sour singer, looks at everything in awe , in wrong.
He sees not himself nor anything else in reality, he loves the illusion of his own admissions at impotence. He is impotent. But not to do something. That everyone is impotent in their own way. He is impotent to think. He hates to think, I mean the thoughts that lead to the state of thoughtlessness. He ponders yet he is afraid of the results which this introspection will lead him to. He thinks he is right and wrong. But he feels that he is always right. He wants to be nice and good and always upright. But he also ‘knows’ that he can never be such things, for he believes in the illusion that they exist. And anyone with half an inch of understanding will know that his death is more real than these morals.
He is a cynic, He believes that his death is unreal. That he will live forever, though he might talk of death; either others or his own. But death doesn’t exist for him. He cannot comprehend it even if he spends hours every day pondering on it.
He sings sour, he has no soul and anyone without a soul, cannot dance nor sing. He does neither; He thinks it can be pulled of without soul.
He has hate in himself, borne again and again; he believes that there is his righteousness in question, He might look like a saint, but understand this very deeply,  He is the utmost of devils.

As the night approaches, the voodoo people come out of their hiding, they walk freely, they remain in the stillness of the dark, they lurk in the shadows. This is not metaphoric but rather something of the truth. They cannot be seen by the eyes given to us, rather they can be smelt and perhaps even be heard at times. They are in states of different consciousness. They are in different realms all together. As our sensory outputs change, we can see these people. These entities. These energies.

When we become dull, when we lose our sense of being. Then we cannot see nor smell nor hear these entities. Let us make ourselves more flaccid , much more easier to be, and I assure you , we will be able to see these people. They are monstrous. Not in the classical sense. But you will get to understand what I am saying when you have encountered what I have. Seen what I have seen. And been where I have been
I have myself been a part of the voodoo people… I have understood the morbidity that can take you to the realms where these entities reside. Where these state of being can be expressed in freedom like the sloth which we are shown so freely as of now.
To be of one of these creatures of the night, there must be insolent need for power. Power not seen nor felt. Power which is . power which can be only experienced.
I have not been close to anyone in my entire life. I have seen suffering and that has made me morose and even morbid. This is what is needed to become a voodoo person. To understand that all things end. And hence find no need for anything. This is dispassion according to the masters, but when you see it through the eyes of the voodoo people. Then this manifests as something darker than dispassion. There is no need for anything or anyone, hence no need exists for anything good or relative good either.
There is no bad or good in my books, there is nothing as beneficial or malefic as I see, yet there was a tendency in me to move to the darker side of things, I moved to night arts. To clairvoyance and to deliver blows to entities when they least expected it. I understood the basic principles by which this universe worked. And now I used it as I wished.
This is the starting of the power struggle. This is the state which we may encounter in the early stages of the making of the voodoo entities.. oh and of course I could not be destroyed. I could not be finished, I could not be killed or confined. This wasn’t an egotistical statement, but true to the core. This is what makes us voodoo people. This is the freedom that the bondage to the power brings. This is the ultimate of all freedom and also the saddest part of existence which one can bring upon themselves. 

The Morgue

Cris cross. It sways to the wind and the truck by the side of the road
The lifeless situations become divine.
They become in color, and move towards blind

Sun setting in the east, Is that not odd?
Shining from the inside in the dead cold of the frostbite.

Rip it to shreds and pass it towards the morgue.

Hands pressed in my back, clawing and gnawing
The night has moved and the moon Mojave
Summer respite in the form of a suicide.
And placed my foot on the stars , all in one go.
Cries of joy, a birth of the child and a death of a star
The saints move spiraling like the cracking skulls
Besides this where else would you be?

Back in the haystack, moving towards the day
On your  horse, and she smeared with a lipstick
Kisses you all the way.
Children you are the saviours, believe not in the morgue, it comes when you are old. Old as I or perhaps even more. The day when you move like the wind. Silent and whispering. In potent portions. You have slept through it all again.

Wake and make up my fragments whole.
Why the endless struggle to make my bread
In the colours of the dawn, your blood and mine are but same

And what of the nights where there were no one to guard my weeping heart.
Remains of what I may call it, it never moves. It just stays.
Like my love of the world. In where I am now. The moment un-justifiable.
And the lamps burn through the night.
Crows huddle together like ghosts. And smoke follows them as they swarm.
The messengers of my heart. Please make it to my funeral.
I promise a most splendid moment.
And all I did was to falter. Inside once. Outside infinity.

Calling Out

Lifeless on the floor
and i know i have never felt this before
but still something tells me within my skull
that the numbness which i felt so long ago
has returned to haunt me to cause my mind to finally dull

how long shall i keep lying to myself
that my life had some deep purpose to it
the only time i felt good was when i imagined
that i never existed

there must be some great sickness here
to make us all feel the same way
all the time we wage war against ourselves
as if there was no one else

this is the ecstatic in the tragic
the sweetness in the numb
the feeling of being lost in wilderness
and yet longing for an eternal home

Monday, June 1, 2009

Love Eternal

For Tara my eternal passion fire 

Every Moment spent with you, has nurtured a smile in my heart to bloom.
Every glance looked towards you has dazzled my sight into a whorl of sheer white loving light. 
I am incomplete without your touch. Hand in Hand tara, we are one. 

You think that I am care-less.Every Night without your breath shouldering mine drives me insane. Every tear you shed for us, has bound us, intertwined our fates, mirrored our karmas as one tara.

Sleep in my arms, Care-free, swept up into the serenade of your heart beat close to me I am myself again I see. Every time, Every moment is a moment made for us, as you and I and this world are spun on a spiders web, the web of eternal love. and divine grace. 

I pray for our life and love. I sit and think of overlooking my past without you, of undergoing a voluntary amnesia of the days where I had not known your longing. 
I am awoken by your sweet whispers in my ear, I dreamt that I was apart from you, a nightmare of real nightmarish proportions. An impossible situation. A sure death!

Let me into your eyes, let me become your smile and your joys. Let our kiss be forever deep. 
Let us be lead unto light, unto the light which forever Is. The light which is the true observer of this saga unfolding. A saga of our hearts falling and rising in each others Love. 

Peace and Love

Mukteshwara: DreamReality

There are two parts to every story, if you care to look at it closely enough. Most of us see half a picture and move on to the next frame, mechanical almost, but when something (I personally just call it power or life energy) makes your head turn and take notice; then we cant be foolish enough to ignore it once more.
Well enough bull crap, This story starts up in a dream, which I had somewhere early in 2008, In the dream, I am with a group of people, perhaps trekkers or campers or such and we are going to a hill station or something like that. We go and check in to some hotel or such which I remember and then we set out to go and explore, I remember that we go down hill at first and then start climbing, in the next scenes I am alone and I am somewhere which I know distinctly, before this dream I had seen a place which I wanted to visit.. a temple on a hill station, on tv or perhaps read about it, this temple hill's name is un clear to me after this dream event. Anyways I am walking on the path which leads to this hill temple in the dream now alone, and there is a slight incline and it leads to this temple. Now I wake up. 

Some months after this dream, I guess perhaps 2-3 months later; my folks start up to a trip with my visiting relatives mainly my dubai mama and his family (mami and shreyas). We head out to naukhuchiataal in uttarakand where we planned to stay for around a week in solitude. This is mountain region but is relatively low, hence it is a haven of lakes nestled in between hills. Naukhuchiataal is such, close to which are bheemtal, sattal and the very famous nainitaal. We over the course of week visited all these places. The relative quietude which one gets next to a body of water, is immense especially for city folks like myself. 
On the last day of our visit, we start of for mukteshwar.. This is at a great height, there is a very famous shiva temple as the name points out, which is on the mukteshwar peek. The height of this hillock is around 2300 mts up in the air. It takes us around 3 hours to reach this place. There is a small town in the vicinity of the temple, and a animals research institute as well, the temples entrance is blocked with the government school and there is a small winding upward path which leads from next to this school to the very top of this hill where the temple is situated. We get whored by youth from the village who in the season time generally make some money by showing people the temple and the adjacent attractions, but I am never in a mood for such indulgence, preferring to explore any and all places by myself with my own senses. 
But older and lesser patient people are never in such a mood so we end up taking a dick who just speaks about day to day events of mukteshwar and hasn't any intelligent answers to intelligent questions :)
We take off our shoes and make our way upwards, I am at side of my mother who finds it a bit difficult to walk up hill. There is a small shrine before the main temple, The main temple itself has a very small sanctum, its basically a small village shrine, which due to its power has got famous, well the view from this height is awesome as an understatement, there are hundreds of bells tied together outside the sanctum, I enter the temple and see a pandit (who looks like from kashmir) saying beautiful mantras towards the shiva linga, the linga is white stone and is very small. mukteshwara deva looks peaceful and powerful. I along with my family sit and meditate for a long time, then take due exit and explore the surroundings of this hill top. We click a lot of beautiful photos as well... 
There is a small hut just below this temple and we see that there is a lady talking to a relatively old baba. I pay little attention and see the place to do it full justice, soon my folks and relatives have crowded next to the baba ji, and as true peaceful Indians, paid obeisance and started polite conversation.. 
I arrive later and see that the young lady who was discussing something with the babaji take leave, apparently she had come from muzzafarabad to this place to seek a cure for some illness which her husband had been suffering from, babaji was famous. 
He was perhaps bengali by his accent, in his late 60's of good height and a very very very jovial natured face. He was resplendent with a permanent glowing smile. He gave us some sweet prasad to eat and he discussed what my family and its members did for a long time, we were impressed.. each and every working mind of my family was impressed with his love perhaps. His being. 
He was a disciple of Nagaraja Babaji, who is true love incarnate as it is said, he had a book in hindi about babaji which he showed to my father and I, he invited us inside the kutiya and told that there was another beautiful photo of his guru there, which when I entered saw. He had a little cot and small insignificant articles, There was a deepish hole in one end of the room through one of the walls. Babaji kindly explained with deep smiles that every night he entered this hole and went kilometres below to patala loka. He was very very happy and I loved his being for that. 
He talked about the end of the world and how he knew who the perpetrators of this were, he said it was a secret and whether we wanted to know who would cause the end of the world, we were very inquisitive but he never let out the secret as you would expect a good jnani to do:))
Now to the interesting part, when he met me this babaji told me that he had seen me before, and he asked me very diligently whether I had been there and then he affirmed yea son you had come here.. I looked and replied that when he said he has seen me, then he would not be wrong. 
Later in conversation when we were almost about to depart, he again said that I had visited here before, but that the last time I had come there to this temple, I was afraid and I didnt visit him properly and that I ran off. When he uttered this, something struck in my mind, though I didnt say anything to babaji, but while returning down and putting on my shoes, I told my mother about the fact that I had a dream in the recent past. Perhaps babaji was awake doing sadhana in the night and saw the dreamer had wandered over to the temple, and before I could do my sadhana there for mukteshwara, I woke up. By fear of the vividness of the dream... 

There is always two sides to a story, A dream and A reality. The point is to figure out which is which. 

Dream~For My Love Tara

I had this vivid dream quite a while back, but the intensity and the sheer bizarre-ness of it had me impressed very much.
The dream starts here on earth, and I am to be a part of some type of astronauts space mission team, so I remember that I am spending time with them and we are kind of training in those gravity devices which make you spin real fast, soon I am in third person view and we are in a space shuttle, all the people in the shuttle are wearing their suits, but there is one person, who I see as Sai Baba, who is without a space suit and he is doing fine, we land in some weird planet, perhaps Jupiter cause thats what I remember thinking. 
Sai baba gets out first from the capsule and as I am seeing the site in third person view I see him get out and walk around, the people from the shuttle come behind him and they and I are amazed that sai ram doesn't need any oxygen or so to walk around. 
Now I follow him, trailing behind him to see where he is going. He leads "us" to a huge ravine, where there is a river of sorts flowing below, very deep ravine and huge mountains on the other side. I remember the whole planet is sort of yellow magenta and red in color, and that is why perhaps I think it might be Jupiter. 
Suddenly I start seeing myself flying in a distance over the river in the ravine and I am ecstatic at this event, I see that  i am flying high and fast near the mountains and then I swoop down low and slow near the river, but Lo! what is this I see, there is another person, a lady. my love Tara who also is flying and she comes very close to me, as if we are to collide, and yes we do many a time in mid air, sometimes near the river so below, and sometimes high up in the air, whilst we are flying in air all the time, its kind of a tango, a space tango.. The sight in my dreams was vivid to say the least, it left me spellbound. At first I couldnt imagine what was happening then soon I realized it was a spiritual union happening in pure ether. 
The dreams reality had me awake in a moon where I was sheer gratitude towards my lover Tara. 

Peace and Love

Ode to Humanity

I am not a big fan of human kind, the version of life that in today’s day seems to be only focused upon itself. The day’s pass and humans ...