Monday, December 30, 2013

An Account of Real India

Not much that I write about how India is (atleast the part about the apathy and frustration) Maybe its about time -->

The incident is fresh in my memory and I think that it will remain so for the longest time - if not my entire lifetime. Sometime back I took a chance when I heard that a commercial party was happening in hyderabad (Sunburn - seems like shit and rubble burning to me). Generally I do not go close to any such things; for I have come to know that worthwhile parties (especially the ones which are good i.e. amazing music) are far and almost invsibile in a country like india - where most people do not appreciate the revelery and good taste in mind altering music. 

In India most folks think of parties as groping and fucking orgies (I have no clue how this has gotten into the minds of this illetrate race and time).

So it was myself and three other friends (inclusive of a lady) and we headed to a very very remote resort where this commercial event was happening. I admit that we started up quite late by indian standards (at 10 PM) and the place was quite a distance away but I had been there before for a decent party scene and had ended up staying almost the whole night - so I was confident the place being good enough to stay up late even with a lady in the group. This immaturity like many times before (it was almost a blindsight - and such blindsights are the ones which have been eye opening to me in the past and yet still) has costed me quite a bit that night.

So we reached in a half hour or so to the resort (and mind you the party was in one end of this huge ass resort). We found our way eventually and told the cab driver to park the car and that we would be back in a while. I did not know that it would be very very quick indeed.

The way in to the party sight (which was to be indoors) was not very pleasing - we collectively saw many drunk fuckers who could not even walk or stand, this is where my doorbell rang - that this was not a very safe athmosphere for anyone especially women, yet I was seeing some women in the periphery and thought that it was a commercial event and that women would be somewhere around.

We enter and see some women yet a large set of stag guys - and they were everywhere in groups. Drunk as hell (some could not even walk properly). The music was marginally alright and I thought well what the hell; just put on your dancing shoes and be happy. That was a mistake, my friends who had not been to many electronic dance events; I guess liked the music. I took a break and accompanied my women friend to the loo - and as she entered the women's restroom, I saw that some drunk guys were trying to enter the loo as well. This was utmost disturbing to me; they were not after my friend but perhaps someone else. I did not know what to do... Saw some bouncers around and tried to explain to them what the scene was (They knew - but they did not acknowledge my presence one bit, something which bouncers across the earth would have in common - an innate ability to ignore the good and bad and just show their ugly ass muscles in a puny attempt to show control)

So I see my friend come out and I accompany her back to the dance floor where all four of us spend some time dancing (rather huddling together) for everywhere asides were drunk folks - something which is always of concern to me at all times - especially in India and especially with a woman friend around!

One of my friends along with myself are eyeing the bar for quite sometime in a while - not that we were very eager to drink (we had the previous night quite a bit and all night as well) but just to check what was in stock. So we excuse ourselves to get a closer look - we leave my woman friend and my very close friend to themselves to dance.

We return in aproximately 3-5 minutes - where I see my guy friend pleading to a bouncer and some strangers saying "Sorry sorry, its a mistake" I took look around and try to size up the situation and then speak the same words to the people around. They buy it and probably we try to make a quick exit - while I am asking what is happening. My friend does not like us apologizing and pulls up the bouncer and the person that "Why should we be sorry? - its your fault"

And then we make a real quick move - I grab my friend's hand and take her out. We all congregate in one end of the periphery of the property (its a very big and desolate place in one end of this vast resort) and try to figure out what has happened.

Before we know there is helter skelter and all hell breaks out - we figure that many people are coming towards us (probably close to 20 assholes) and coming fast. They are shouting in the local language and english, both my male friends go towards and try to form a barricade while I with my girl move back and try to figure out what is happening; what had actually happened is that my friend was in the party - and someone came more than close to comfort - and she lost it - and punched the asshole three times in the face! I was really proud of her for doing that - but not in this scenario.


These folks come towards my friends and start arguing while one guy breaks through and tries to hit my friend who was with me - and that is where I kind of lose it (get scared first time in the longest time) - these folks were piss drunk and they did not care whether they accousted a woman or not - in this scenario - it can very easily escalate to something totally different - and with no law and order or event bouncers around - is where it can get really nasty (especially in the real India).

I take my friends hand and we make a run for it, she is barefoot with her heels in her hand and we run around 200 meters in dirt and dust to get to another parking lots of sort - where there are some folks in a corner huddled and partying with music pumping from the car. My friend runs towards them - and I try to stop her; for I know not whether these folks are the same kind as the fuckers we met before. But there are a couple of women with them - and she takes their help and sits in the car. I go over very much estranged and dazed of sorts - and explain to these folks what is going on.

It seems they understand and console us that they know the bouncers of the party and that nothing will happen - I call my friends and very fortunately they have left the place without getting harmed and walking towards the main gate of this weird ass place. I am still not at ease and my friend has broken down thinking that the assholes might be anywhere and worse yet they might be outside the resort in cars blocking the road (it is very far off from the city and nothing is closeby even remotely for miles on end. The entire place is extremely dark without the presence of even street lights or habitation). This is my concern too; the folks whose car we are sitting in warm up to us and they help us to be dropped to the main gate - there are two cars and they are extremely helpful (and we are so very grateful for this). The guy who is driving us is called "shiva" and I mentally bow down to savior lord of lords - narayana and namacivaya for their grace (even if my friend has no idea how lucky she really is - for in India - getting felt up in a party is not a big deal - and punching guys for it is an extremely big deal - of course what I mean is when a girl punches a guy).

We meet our friends outside and they are waiting with the cab - we take it and tell the driver to get us the fuck out of there without stopping for anyone or anything even remotely human, he understands quick and we are out of the godforsaken place in a jiffy - all the while my friend is hiding her face and ducking down - with the very real fear that someone might be following us or might be ahead of us checking for the folks who wacked their friends in a party.

We reach back home in a quarter of the time it took for us to reach; the time is midnight - and we are all strung out - and its just time to reminsce of what happened and what could have happened and how it all could have been avoided - on that we are unanimous in our opinion - do not go to any such events in India - for this country is still as regressive as it gets; the men are overtly testostorone ridden without any real manhood to show for it. The women are very afraid in such a scenario - where stepping out of the home can be deadly - it can lead to a mugging, molestation, eve teasing, rape and even brutal death.

We are not at all progressed - for as it is said - you can see the civilization by the state of women in it. Women bring life and of course are capable of taking it too if its required - but they bring society and social life into the picture - which of course a bunch of drunk ass men will not appreciate - for they do not have women amongst them (maybe the reason they lead it to rape or such unforseen events)

I also believed that the event could have been avoided if my friend was a little more realistic in the approach of where she was living (India the fuck hole). But she just did what she thought was right to protect her respect - which I inturn really respect - but still do not agree with - for the situation could have gotten a lot worse - with no one really bothering to turn around

Yes and that is the final fucking pain - that Indians are so apathetic that it will not matter to anyone if someone is getting mugged raped or killed - as long as it puts on a show - its fun for indians - and I kid you not on this, Indians love a fucking show - and the more brutal painful it is; the more they imagine its a show - entertainment of sorts. This is the worst and most frustrating fact - an account of everyday life in the real India.

Peace and Love


Thursday, December 26, 2013

Glowing Sunrise !

The last couple of weeks have been revelatory to me, I have never done something so simple and profound as this for a long time.
I changed my job recently and suddenly my whole life started to take another shape - nothing drastic but simple and yet so profound.
My new job takes me fifty odd kilometers in one day away from my rented accommodation currently (and I do not want to change my home currently for various reasons). I get the company bus and make a move early in the morning - I get up around 6:30 AM and am at office promptly by 8:30 (My last job was so lax that somedays I used to land up close to 11:00 AM and still be one of the earlier ones in office!)
I have a rough and tough day with a lot of coordination and meetings and work in general - and its fun - meeting with new people - with new stories to tell, something which I generally do not mind.I feel that from my inside - cleaning my self up is urging me to set on a new path - I do not know where it will take me but it is still so much of energy moving around.

I end my days by 6 or 7 or sometimes even later and its another hour or so of travel to plonk myself on bed. Someday I end up having less than six hours of rest and yet am up the next day as usual. This is so much fun I think - in all my life I have never been able to rise early - to set my day according to the sunrise and here I am doing that in the mid of my lifeline.

Here comes my glowing sunrise - I wish to get up and meditate and change the way my body chemicals have been being used so long. This method which works best for any sadhana is when we start with an early schedule, especially with meditation in mind and work the rest of the day in the same sync. The feeling of the sun on one's back and face with the slight dew makes my day. It makes me feel great; makes my dopamine and serotonin levels skyrocket and makes me feel like a new man!

So another revelatory human year comes to an end, and with subtle and stark changes in light - we begin on another footing once again. My life has changed so much in the past decade and I feel in awe that I have been made to witness something so beautiful with the help of senses and a brain.
The heart chakra is getting cleansed one day at a time, with so much surprise - I feel mesmerized; truly a grand design, a glowing sunrise. Post my birth and death - It will still glow from inside.

Peace and a Lovely Year 2013.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Emerald Heights

It was a mezzanine floor; smooth and flowing over, I heard a noise - which I thought was my mind howling at the moment's fate. But from the edge of my left eye - walked a rosy beauty of delight - the maid and mistress of this grand home. Where I was sitting for god alone knows how long.

I was waiting; watching patiently for the owner of this unparalleled home. Where there were scenic beauty of the withering heights below. Located somewhere amidst the Himalayas - where I had trekked before. But this was new; not at all familiar somehow - yet so precious to adore.

The fragile maid offered me a potion, which I gladly drank. A green emerald concoction which somehow fit the gullet just right. It quenched my inner thirst. I looked at her, and saw her eyes had started to glow. What trickery I thought - to be fooled drinking a potion whose contents I did not know.
Nudging her with my eyes - I asked a bit scared somehow - What is this that makes me grace peace and feel scared all the while.
She seemed a bit amused at first - You have no idea how many lifetimes you have been chasing us for that thing. And now that you have got it in the palm of your hands and down your system - you seem totally confused. Alas! This is the fate of all those who take mortal recourse - to be in a web of confusion and then no more. There is no peace and this I know, how I wish you remember and you too know.
Suddenly my head started to spin by the sharp sting of words spewed on me, She was right - there was an inkling of know how - why I was here - why I had taken the drink and gulped it straight down without questioning it first. It was all a haze - all lifetimes compounding into this single moment.
A bit too much to handle.

I fell down it seems, onto that beautiful mezzanine floor. I entered a white snow laden tunnel with no light in the end, it spiraled after sometime and the gave me nausea in my head. There was no end in sight I thought and this was limbo felt.
Suddenly all was light and then dark and it alternated for a long while - no other color and no other form entered my peripheral vision. This was amiss - the beautiful castle amidst the snow peaks of himalayas - where I had trekked over and over to find Babaji's home. And this was it, the facade of a material home shown - was so that I feel at home!

I took to the other end of the tunnel, sat on the back of my master who showed me dazzling heights and depths untold. Who opened my heart to possibilities and behold - there I was another consciousness transformed, transfixed and led to the end of the world.

I met my lover when I was sitting meditating on nagaraja babaji - the age old master - the one desire - to behold god in the form of a lover - and he knew instantly. He sent the beautiful blue goddess; Tara - who said what I couldn't ever say. Who held my hands and made tears glisten down astray. Who was my mother, lover, friend all in one. Who was the full moon cajoling me in her arms, for eternities to come!

Emerald heights from which I never came back to the world. Not because I found shelter or love - but instead what I could never see or know in this material world - with a simple heart - which healed with time - with my lover hand in hand - heart to heart and all was fine.

The potion was wearing off -and reality struck me like stone. There was no lover nor guru, no moon which shone. There was nothing and nothing itself hid away in its veil. Everything was the breadth of this cosmos showing form and consciousness took its form in myself.
This was the real deal. The indepth nature of life and the heights we all reach than to plunge into darkness forever. What beauty; what depth - Emerald heights of the heart which dvelve deep into the abyss and void.

Peace and Love

Thursday, December 5, 2013

~ Seven Hills of Realization ~

I have dreamt of you Venkatesha. Most of this life. Where were you oh grandeur of existence; With the holy namam showing the third eye. Where were you remover of sorrow; tester of time. Consort of the holy divine feminine - shri who you have kept in your child like heart.

Once so alone and distant - I thought that I was done for; I remained aloof and almost defiant. I thought that the sweet lord of the seven hills was not worth bowing down for. For which god I thought asks from devotees ornaments and prayer, this egoistic material thought was something which kept me back for such a long time.

And all the while Remover of sorrow and fear kept me safe and together near his heart like goddess shri.

I had the oppertunity to go to Tirupathi - arguably the most crowded and impressive temple/place of worship in the world recently with my folks. I have been there innumerable times in my life - but the difference being that this time I wished to be there. I wished to bow and pray and spend my life in sweet melody of his ways. Lord and sustainer of the universe. The keeper of heart, testing many on the way so that they can change as and where needed - to reach the feet of the primal consciousness - Narayana - beckoning each individual every moment.

The journey from hyderabad to tirupathi - overnight by train and pretty comfortable - we reached to a misty mountain bop kind of weather and remained in lower tirupathi the first day - resting and looking to make our move towards the abundant temples present in lower tirupathi.

Our first stop is the temple town of Kalahasti which is some 50Km off from tirupati. The temple is located in Tamilnadu and is a very ancient Chola/Pandya architecture; beautiful and one of its kind. The temple is dedicated to Lord Shiva - and is considered important across the country as remedy from Rahu and Ketu - the head and tale of a demon - which in astrology corrospond to the lunar and solar nodes (eclipses) which affect in turn the mind and body of a person in his life.

The thing is that since young - I have been wanting to see the temple and for one reason or none - never been able to make it. My folks know how many times I have bugged them in this regard, and never got to see the site. This was my time - we reached quickly enough and the beautiful thing being - that it was pouring ney downpouring in between as my mother was chanting shiva strotras and stopping with some beautiful intermittent sunshine - what a wonderful life!

The temple is very commercial with little or no respect to the archaelogical/cultural/mythical aspects of the site left anymore.

The temple runs on the rahu ketu pooja which brings in loads of people and big business over the year, I ofcourse am no better - My rahu is placed in a predicament in my natal birth chart - in the XII house - which hosts the collective unconsious/subconscious worlds. Thus, this means that my life would be tainted at times with some mental problems (which I have been facing on and off) – and the only teaching this would lead to is, is to have faith and not take things so seriously that they impair life itself to progress towards eternity.

We waited for a long time for the pooja to happen – and it kept raining intermittently and heavily the whole time (the temple has many inlets from the roof through which rain kept sizzling down and refreshing us with its view). Finally post the small ritual – we went to see the grand and beautiful kalahasti lingam.

The mythic story goes something like – three animals in present life (Elephant / Snake / Spider) all were shiva devotees in previous life – taken birth to worship this elusive and beautiful lingam. So the elephant used to offer bilva leaves while the snake would guard the lingam and the spider would put a net around it to protect it, and all three used to invariably get in each other’s way. And one fine day in anger – all three killed each other (Spider kills elephant who kills snake who kills spider!)

Shiva is very happy for some reason for them to kill each other (kidding!) but rather with the extreme levels of devotion each one shows and stills in this place as the great Vayu Lingam (This is one of the elemantal temples as well – for the element of Air). Hence the lingam is very thin and very tall (almost more than 7 feet up) and looks magnificent even from a far off distance.

I had a grand darshan along with my family and felt extremely satisfied (at heart) to have made the journey to see what I had been in my mind and soul wishing to see for such a long time. We headed home and called an early day with some good tamil dinner by the side (Tamil meals are probably the best in the world in terms of spice and condiments)

The next day we headed for the local temples present in tirupati – all old and now taken care of to some extent due to the beautiful site present on top of the hill (otherwise like most other indian temples – they would be relics only known to the locals and not taken care of even then).

I went to the beautiful Manga Rama and Kodanda rama temple – the former being at the periphery of the town (which has become very very big as on date – commercialization of gods and men rampent like no place in the world as in india). The manga rama temple is where Vishnu comes as a bachelor and stays and prays to the lord of wealth – Kubera for help to marry his grand beautiful gentle consort – Lakshmi. Kubera then lends him dowry cash for a successful marriage and to repay the amount with interest – the lord of all takes rest on top of the hill where he wishes his devotees well and in return gets sums unthinkable by any to be given to an idol! (it is now the second richest temple/place of worship – post discovery of his counterpart mode – Lord Ananta – padbanabhaswamy in trivandrum who has amassed secret treasure through his devotees with time!)

The other temples were equally beautiful – the Kapila temple dedicated to lord shiva and goddess kamakshi – where these two come to bless and marry the beautiful couple into union, located on the slope of a natural flowing waterfall coming from the top (and perennially), the place looked powerful – but dismayed with the human dirt which has accumalated in the water pool with time – spent time here getting restored before going to the ISKCON conning temple for some food and then headed back for rest time.,

The next day early morning we set out to the top of the hill on our cab – we picked a guy who works with the TTD office and who would help us with a quicker darshan than possible (as we were leaving on the same day and a six to ten hour wait is simply impossible – for my folks). The ride up was extremely serene – the hill is taken care by TTD and also forest department and forms part of the nallamalai ranges (dark forests of Andhra Pradesh). We reached and changed quickly into our dhotis (I did not wear anything to cover my chest – and found out that I was perhaps one in a million who had nothing to cover myself on the cold mountain )

The wait lasted for three hours where my parents and I stood patiently and talked and discussed life as well as others who were there in the line (most of the folks dedicate their hair to lord venkateswara – as a symbol of offering their head and their most respected part of body to the god as a token of their love!) So these folks of course look pretty funny and our conversations continued as we inched (literally) towards the beautiful sanctum sanctoram.

The temple is small in area and has history of being a Lakshmi temple before hand – the idol of the lord is around 11 feet high and there is no confirmed sculptor for the same – the story is that it was found in this manner at a site which is couple of kilometers from the present day temple. The god materialized his form into stone and the same was found by a shepard – till date the shepard family is the one who is authorized to open and close the temple gates though the priests are the ones who do the formal pooja and the informal looting of the cash.

Till recently tirupati was the richest and even after padbanabhaswamy’s treasure discovery it remains in the top richest in the world – but unfortunately a lot of money and beautiful jewellery has gone missing over time and recently discovered findings speak that the mukut and the precious jewels adorning the lord’s face had been stolen and replaced with less costly imitations in the past 10-20 years. Shocking as this god is one who takes such matters very very seriously and attracts punitive action to those concerned. There is not a single person who comes in his presence who does not ask for something in turn – and once delivered – what we had promised to give balaji must be done and promptly – he is one who takes our tests all of our lives – giving us misery and love at the same time. He makes our life complete – with constant trials and tribulations – with victory in humility at his feet and unbounded love in the heart. Such a god is a rarity to find!

The temple still looks the same – but when I entered the inner sanctom with the pushing and what not happening (you do not need to use your own force once you enter the temple premises – you will be whisked away by the pressure of men women children behind) I saw the god and he was looking a bit lack lustre – perhaps because the previous day was deepawali and might have included extended ornamentation. But thankfully got to see the lord for a long time (don’t think much – long time means maximum 5 seconds in front of this beautiful idol!)

Came out and took prasad and then moved on to the the place where the lord descends and sends forth the idol to be worshipped – this is unique as there are 2 stones touching each other – which forms an arch structure – even more unique is the fact that these are sedimentary and igneous rocks together – and only 3 of such kind are present in the world! This is the arch through which the lord manifests himself, a bit further away is where his footsteps were once found in stone (but unfortunately through rampant carelesseness by devotees – the original stone has got disfigured – the photo of which remains, the place is called Chakra Padam). The feet of the lord like stature seem to be over 15 inches or more atleast. Huge feet !

From the arch like structure – I moved forward and making my mother rest at a comfortable place went downhill on foot where in between the jungle – a small rivulet cuts through – thought to be very holy water – people drink and spray it on themselves to cure diseases and misfortune, the other side rises again and one can goto visit a secret small shiva temple which really looks secluded and pretty. My father and I went and spent a moment in peace before returning to get my mom and leave via cab down hill.

Down hill the journey was mellow with the one stop at the beautiful iconic idol of Hanuman – the entire hill is extremely beautiful to say the least. Even if completely rummaged with human beings.

I had a beautiful darshan and the lord blessed me with his presence - this was not some form of superstitious belief or blind faith but an understanding of the power of the lord who removes his lover's sorrows.

Go towards the divine hills - discover and rejoice, there is no place like it, there is no time standing still like my beautiful lord of the seven hill!

Peace and Love

Sunday, October 20, 2013


She came into my life in blink of an eye, I certainly did not take a closer look at first glance. Already so existentially morose and given up the notion of a fresh start - a new love and life. I saw everything day and night - black and white.

She sat poised looking at me from the edges of her small beautiful eyes. She could see what all I had been, given up the world locked in a corner waiting for her gentle sighs. I gently whiffed past her presence, breathed the erotic perfume of her being; and I had to look back a second time.

Profound magical twist - primordial sensual filled with insight. The genes of our forefathers now mingle already engrossed in surreal love making without the need for a body (or two) and confused minds.

I forgot her (or tried so very hard to), left her in desolation and tried to distance my thoughts and the gentle beating of my heart. I wished so hard to remain away; so that she would not cause the eventual dismay (which I have been so used to by now)

How I wish that I would have been much braver those restless days and long nights. Her thoughts and smile haunted my soul. The anguish of separation was immense and too much to control, and I had but given up on the many who had wrecked my heart and soul. Nothing in control. Life and death - all in the palm of her hand. How I now know.

She came and spoke her free heart to my grave mind. I was expecting the same rigmarole. The ups and downs of conversations without any heart and meaning - how I was proved wrong!
She looked through to my eyes touched my hands; and spoke on the things which had hurt me beyond repair. She looked with utmost concern and then looked away; as if she had suffered the same pangs herself.
Soon I was not able to breathe without looking once in a day at her dreamy eyes, her suave stance, her compassionate sweet sing song voice. I couldn't go through the magical insight so profound now provided to me by mother goddess during the nine nights of revelation and awakening.

Where hence you have come, where hence you shall pay me back - for the moments which seemed eternal but never could last. Time swooped in and separated our love of each other and life.
There is profound magical insight, the kind which spirals into the mind. There is no will or need other than thine. She left me as quickly as she found me, left me to fend my feebler mind. Not going to happen. I dug a grave and wished at last to rest; to die.
It has been over ten years, and my nerves have become tired. I tried to end myself and left my mind somewhere in the abyss. A technical vegetable – not interested in the day to day course of furthering my fucking shit life. I took to drink and abuse; of my body and self. For what is the use of saving oneself – when all god wants is for me to waste away. 
I looked nowhere for her, didn't make a difference for after all the eventual goal been reached. There was no other stone left to be upturned. Everything is now done and done over with. I rested my weary head finally. My life already stolen. My death denied. Limbo the only thing I am left with breathing weariness one sigh at a time. 
I was sitting contemplating my end, so soon to arrive. Sitting pondering near the lake side. Water rippling away gently and draining out life. She who built me with her eyes, destroyed me and walked aside - saw her sitting the other side; looking at me. I was surprised. Jumped a heartbeat and then wished to jump and drown where I stand. 
She walked to me, and I sat weeping at my unfortunate life - the one; one whom loves. Is the one who creates pain. I looked her square; wishing to settle why she has come to destroy the carcass of burden.
She stood tall; while I sat at her feet. Nothing mattered other than the moments which stood still. The sky shook, like wind blowing fiercely through her hair. Her eyes smaller than ever - shed a tear and it disappeared as soon as it poured. Resting the palm of her hand on my broken head. She said what needed to be said. 
You have not died my dear love. 
No I have not.....
You have lived past the misery I brought
No I have not...
You have survived my dead thoughts 
If only you knew how you killed me.
How did I do that
By spitting out the left over of my heart. 
I ran for I knew your pain would inflict me
I stayed for I knew that you would run away. For fear captive in your heart and true love you always kept at bay.
How did you realize what it is that I meant to be, 
How did you see what I could never see. 
There was once longing intensity - power and feeling. Love which needn't be. 
Nothing now remains except broken shells - broken battered and bane. 


 Peace and Love 

Friday, October 11, 2013

Blended Chemistry


The colorful facade of life, she – the blessed power mother of void exists as maha maya to fool us till we remain no more satisfied, children who now yearn for a powerful night. A vision only of her once shifting her feet amidst terrible darkness, what pitfalls and fury. A vision of her sitting divine amidst the chaos. This is definitely where we all are headed to hopefully.

But on the way we must take care of our minds, our thinking feeling centres of chemical reactions which define who we are as sane and insane. This art of changing your self, with drastic reactions breaking through. Sitting amidst a peaceful mid night. Waiting for the lover of creation, mother sitting the simha. When everything you believe is alright. When everything you know is not enough. You must shake your mind. Making it a color ful treasure of blended chemistry, the entire mix of which is your tragic and so perfect fully beautiful reminisce of a life. This is mother’s work in the making. She is making the future past and the entire set of chemicals working through to heart. You are defined by her predicament. And if she works through you – believe it to be blessed. Ask grace from her divine feet, through her dancing so gently like tripura sundari towards conscious linga. Blended chemistry is a hard life lived simple divine.

So people dance and shake, drink and bake, walk less than drive and people are not mixing their brain chemicals right. There is deficiency and mosrose life style through time, never enough and never enough time. What are we running to hide, and where hence shall it find us. The answers so direct in a harsh universe of conscious shakti / power.

I am gonna make it shine and dine and then lie down to catch my mother’s inspired breath than no more. And it will be a definition not defined of the self, what i have been hiding from divine’s feet. Only the renunciation of lifetime hopefully worth, rebelling against the broken tide, shunning what should be no more inspired. This is the nature of power, this is the nature of the divine feminine. Where she will rise and devour whatever is held by time, breaking the chemicals of your mind and parading your head around. This is her play. This is her love. And you will exist a part of the parcel of divine existence.

That is so beautiful, the words do no justice. The inexpressible falling over and tiding high. The brain works at frequencies unspeakable, a pure neuro transmitter device, to pick up the divine calling at such intense pitches. The self or I, breaks open and leaves the fascination of maya. Becoming love – existence and power unparalleled. Power giving birth to consciousness and taking it back in her bosoms. This is the power of mother.

Become mad in the love of your self, the one she is, Yes she is feminine irrespective of our gender, she is feminine in a dark universe of dark power. She has no direction or need attached. She is giving rise to experience and love and annihilation. Everything is her third eye. Om Namoh Chandi.


Navaratri 7 / 2013


Saturday, September 28, 2013




Thus it rained, the clouds opened up a nectar called birth. And in the mirth – the fallen pride turns inwards and opens up to be the lover of the lotus. One who shall whiff in his pride, shall surely fall to ground in intoxication of Nama Shivaya. Om


The lotus opening up one layer after another in our spine. One wicked truth after another (who called it the truth I ask) and our spines dance the wicked twist of fate away. Till another day when the lotus is no more. And all our love and laughter would mean just another cloud pouring to a desert albeit a bit too late.

Take heed, and open up each centre. With precise measuring depth, seeing all is illusion and none is real. There is nothing stopping us to reach higher to the throne of delight. Once married, then relive and relish eternal bliss.

What a reward to forsake human desire. To embrace divine heed. Live life pure and see the colors dazzle your brain in turn.

Padma who saw the rain manifest through the pores of her body – reminisced of her younger days. She was surreal and without comparison in beauty. Her eyes showed true love to each kindred spirit which it laid its eyes on. Small slits which emitted the power of reckoning. Her tiny hands healed everything in pain. She poured her tears like the clouds beckoning every moment in patient wait for her beloved lover – divinity to manifest and take over what was left of her. Padma left the love of men, for the love of all. The small sighting of it in our heart. The great endurance of love all around. Blissful and so causal!

Padma now turned inwards opening up the centre, bearing the misery of ignorant thoughts – lowering the vibration – so that she could fall at the feet of her lover. Over and over; without need and temptation to live another fallen life nihilistically. Her heart centre like a beacon – pouring forth wonderful vibrations slower than the last. She raised her energy and merged forth into nama civaya.

<<Some say that the purpose of Padma in our bodies is not to raise the divine outpouring into the highest Centre sahasrara. But in turn the way to leave the worldly misery is to make the heart home. Make it shine in endless love. Where lover’s thoughts preoccupy the entire seasons in shift (in the mind). Where there is no breath when the lover is absent, where there is no life if not at the feet of that one. That one who is perennial and perfect. That one which is the source of us. Who is indeed the us who has not forgotten its purpose of the journey of life.

Padma – a wonderful flower, an esoteric truth. A divine woman showing cataclysmic visions of love. In each and every action and being; amidst the manifold occurrences of this chaotic multiverses. The padma is like the center. Rotating ever so gently – like her who holds the padma in her hand, who loves the padma in his heart. One who is speechless for there was nothing spoken other than love from the start.

Peace and Love


Monday, September 9, 2013

Hollow Earth


Inside my heart, she leaves a fatal mark. A void spreading through my system. The functions of my life shutting down one at a time. (And the energy rises like a falcon roaring soaring to akashic high’s)

With her casual glance; she changes my life. The life I lead to survive, it bursts forth and flowers into the penance of my one lifetime. Mother graceful – she dreams me just fine.

Indus people say of the layers of the earth (now known as levels of ‘hell’) inside the earth. Where different deities and personas of power reside. The ancient demons of earth and the serpent lords gemmed up wise. Hollow earth is where the real heart opens itself.

What if earth has been inhabited time and over, and those who preside/d moved to the core. Towards the molten fire. Where all things be born and reborn. What if hollow earth is not fiction but the truth under our feet.

The present euphoric, and the dreamtime just fine. We the new – who survive the earth in today’s time. We believe nothing else exists – but oh it does. In neverland below the earth. Layer after layer of dimensional existence. Inhabited with folks like us ignorant of the real reason of the earth (its sublime mystery) and its seven layers below and beyond.

So I leave the pain in my heart where it is. Where it ought to stay as my body shuts down and opens the crown conscious. The hollow earth is within me from where the fury rises. The power of the solar core hidden deep beneath crust after molten crust of lie. I am left speechless as she gives me another glance. My sacred mother, my beautiful lover – and she climbs – rises like a mistress of the conquering mind.

The serpent kings at the lowest layer of hell. They remain poised and they show me the true brutal nature of conscious power. And as they refine – they rise, through the divine egg. Towards the end of the mortal coil. They so limitless, so colourful and sublime. Raise up and down m spine. Leave me besides. True nature insight. The hollow earth of hell is the base from where it may all succeed or demise.

My heart pains for you another day my lover. Why and how you left me I cannot define. The nature of life is such that we complete the journey together and head towards death. Its not depression or a mortal recoil. It is our nature and journey sublime. My breath towards your satisfaction dear divine feminine. So I may ride as you do. Towards soaring heights from the depths of the hollow earth.



Friday, August 30, 2013

The Fairness Myth


This article isn’t meant to be racist.

On second thoughts perhaps its supposed to tell us why racism is so much in fashion

I have a conspiracy theory and it cannot be proven. In fact the only way I know my theory holds good is through practical experience (Hell, how else can any theory be proven other than through unbiased experience). Before I continue – I reiterate the unbiased part. I am a part of the human race. And I am a subpart of what I believe to be the indigenous race.

The human race has been far too long torn through strife and war. In fact today – year 2013 is one of the most if not the most peaceful times in history of humankind. All of our past has been marred by continuous strife – and its been always almost an invading army and a defending homeland.

If I go a bit further – I see that most of the world has been colonized by white Caucasian race. The race which explored North American and South; Australia and Asia and not to mention raped the fuck out of Africa.

The indigenous tribes and races of these places almost always have remained rooted to their territory. Not that there were not middle eastern or Indian or Chinese travellers – but they always remained that. Isolated folks who travelled to trade or to learn or spread something. But the conquest and conquerors have almost always been the fabled Aryans.

The gene which I know very little about; yet know enough that it has a particular slot for the experiences of ‘opportunity’ and ‘profit’ more than other races with their particular gene anatomy.

These are the white people who built modern railways and bullets with the industrial revolution. The change towards so called rational thought process and explorative mind. More than any indigenous brown/black/yellow tribe.

Again this does not imply that the local land tribal and farmers would not have fought amongst themselves – but simply that they did not wage war and death in the scale across the world that the Aryan gene has. The Aryan gene is nomadic (perhaps like the alien gene which brought it here to earth)– it moves from place to place and in some cases (Nordics/Vikings) – it is extremely hostile to the point of sublimating its fellow race.

This is the same fascination which brown/black people have with their white masters – to become like them, more aggressive; oppressive; opportunistic and profit oriented. This is what the rest of the world for almost the last 500 years has been trying to do. But the pyramid of genes ends with this almost out of world gene (this is where my conspiracy kicks in)

I firmly believe that human race has undergone genetic modification – with alien species. Aliens yes – the fuckers who come from outer space have come and created lab species (Remember Adam – the white guy being created from god and eve – the white chica being created from his rib – like a genetic experiment?)

Every time I see the white genetic order pop up – I know its at war with the indigenous population. (Where have they all disappeared – see Hollow Earth). 

Now I know why the world follows the white order – it is not a locus of control thing – where I believe that it is destined to happen – or rather why I can see it is destined to happen – for it is true – the blonde hair, white skin, blue/green eyes and utter disrespect to earth and way of its beating throbbing way of life – is truly the myth of our life. Where everything will be destroyed either as profit or the method to reclaim our life. It is all fake – for the white gene – like a disgusting virus – eats its way into the skin of earth, making false claims and beating us down first. Nothing will remain; not you; not I. Everything be destroyed. And I wish it fast. For the earth will not survive. Require a cleansing. Require it now. Require love of the indigenous to spread here and NOW.




Sunday, August 18, 2013

A Last Drink to Die


The flower opens up its delicate petals. Only to be met wit conceit and deceit (This world’s special seat). Perhaps the innocence has to be shovelled in a grave filled by dirt – for it to really know what it was truly worth?

Walked a hundred miles and a hundred more – looking for a tavern where I may lose my hope for sure. To sit with a numbing drink in my hand and listen to the jester sing about the day’s frivolity no end. To make merry and then fight lose and get bruised. A last drink before they throw me onto the streets for sure?

Picked up from falling stupor - asleep - by the golden dew struck sunlight (too bright). A toothless grinning pauper my friend for the day to dine. Sly conversation and makes merry with the morning flavour of wine. And I devilishly dervish around his words with my heart; opened pedestal by pedestal – giving a match for the sure shot sunshine.

No sin in repeating and replenishing the favour. The maidens refill the cup a thousand times. Many a company I have seen and passed by. But perhaps with you my old friend; A last drink before I die.

Since when does the moth question the flame; or the bee run past the flower on the vase? Since when does the innkeeper refuse the customer for a drink to dismiss his ignorant deeds? I have not known the world’s ways now too sure to start. I have not seen those who will ever give up their drink to the dying souls choosing to depart? (all done wilfully)

Maybe to be taken as a pessimist in search of god to scoff at his creation and will. Perhaps a romantic losing his poignant charm and selfless love to thrill (his beloved). Perhaps the fool who has undertaken experience as a chore (and now wishes for nevermore). Could be yourself in the guise of a body of a man/woman – who doesn’t really know why they are born to die here any more lives anymore.

So I wish for a last drink before I die. Tonight is the only one given to me; so let me drink be merry and say my last goodbye. Tomorrow shall never come with the overlooking plague; war and lovelorn heart all conjuring up some my way. Let me pray humble and kneel on broken faltered knees – look to the northern star, close my eyes and spread divine love through my sweet lips. Press the cup tender, make love and let it go so I may be buried perhaps in an unnamed grave. Somewhere on the periphery of this night tavern where the weary stop to reminisce their lost-ness. Maybe on the edges of a greyed sombre silent night. Giving up one’s life. For the love for the sublime in sight.






Thursday, August 15, 2013

Kill the Patriot!


The lover waits to go home; this putrid war takes its toll. Each and every one of his buddies dies in the vomit filled bunker hole. All he looks is to save his skin so he may go back to his pregnant wife. Will his little thought suffice? Will his prayer (though he is an atheist) now come alive?

Is the time to delay the inevitable ripening…..

The war has been raging on. forever on and on. The peace talks remain a talk and blood and water mix once so very often and no one knows what they are drinking in the first place. Water to sustain or the blood of their brothers. The nights are snowed in and the days it rains and hails. No one knows when the next shell will fall. No one knows what they are fighting for.

Some call it the sacred freedom; some not so bright eyed – see the rubble mountain and know their life is worth than this piece of land they rest their weary heads upon. While those in power make powerful speeches and lure the innocent to defend this mountain like so many others. Kargil remains the graveyard of the many easily forgot for a cause easier forgot.

Today the many pray and mourn – the loss which my brothers and I have had to endure – for a maddening obsession of the patriot fuckers. Those who had nothing but to divide land which did not belong to them. They split it and bled it with the blood of my brothers and I. Over and over till we were sucked of anything which remained.

I remained a lover – waiting to go home to my beloved. I thought that when this cursed war for so called freedom would be over; then I could go back and live a simple life; and look at what I have done (The blood on my hands). Cursed and brutally murdered people time over. People like myself; and who I did not bear any animosity towards. What made me do this. What can I say but folks like you!

Folks like you; who wish to sit in their mansions watching the daily news somewhere far away – and generate drama to be patriotic once again. To make speeches and attack and retreat to the march and beat. Killing is your business; and yes business is doing fucking good. You do not want to live and love. You who does not have anyone who will mourn over your death. And instead of living with that; you would rather people like me go to the ends of earth and die and slump – my grave should take your body. You should be on this icy mountain fighting for your morbid greed. You must be the one who dies for your petty land and religion. I am a lover; going back to my beloved. Require nothing of your fucking insanity. Please spare me and instead take my place and die for me!

I have seen the fear in the dying man’s eyes. And as now pneumonia plagues and fills my lungs. I feel the pain behind my temple as well. Unable to live with being apart from my beloved anymore. I die without hope crying and drowning in the pool of my own tears.

I have one last wish, that you stop celebrating my sacrifice. I did not want to die; alone away from the gentle touch of my lover. I would rather not be embroiled in this fucking illness of everyone of yours’ brain. I wish my peace and I wish you peace too. Kill all you fucking patriots and have a good laugh soon.

Love and Peace

Kill the patriots. Burn the flag. Shroud in black.




Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Afraid to be Alone?


People merrily celebrate independence of a country from a tyrant autocracy – but never ever feeling that they are still bound. By fear and inertia – to forget and look everywhere but within. Is this independence? or the essence of our chained existence; Cradle to Grave.

A disease unparalleled. A delirium of epic proportions. Madness right from the start and a futile attempt to mask the symptoms. A truly delusional proposition. A bleak effort in vain.

You ought to have guessed the intent and effect of what needs to be shared. It is the primal; most intense feeling of fear of course (from what?). It saves us from a certain death at a certain esoteric consciousness level. From physical to metaphysical. Fear is something to hold on to. Maybe till death (No pun intended)

But look around; keeping a silent perception without any biased judgement – do you not see what the suffering is all about? Do you not see that all this running about is nothing but to satiate your unique fear. Your unique ignorance to breathe in yourself….. Losing breaths every single of these blessed lifetimes.


Our Tele-visions and cellular phones. The books, movies, dramas, literati, glitterati  and multitude of social activities. Friends and family; a busy life – these intense hobbies and pursuits. The life of ever expanding interests and opportunities. Of trade and commerce with humans inclusive of all other forms of life around. Is this not what defines our beautiful dramatic ever involving lives? From the beginning to the end.
What is the meaning of all this movement without a cause *yes it is without a cause* Could it be that we are afraid to be with our own thoughts/feelings/neurosis/being’s. Be as who we were born to be, is it that we are in deep seated neglect and denial of our inabilities to cope with our own inner selves?

This is the preliminary realization of those who sit down to correct their mental waves of movement. To slow them down with their breath. This is the most potent of realizations. That the fear all along was to be in peace with oneself. Whatever that oneself could be (That no one wants to ever explore or realize – most people ignorantly assume that they know themselves – based on factors like – what others see and speak, what a mirror shows, and what parents decide them to be – both genetically and conditionally)

But there is the dormant powerful self – waiting within. It is seeing the show of movement – enacted cause of neuron firing rapidly in the brain. The incessant movement from hither to thither to all mask the insecurity/fear of facing oneself every single moment. Is this not boring. Is this not futile? To most it is, and to those who put in a wee bit more effort being in silence darkness and without need to be amused away from who they are in this life – the realization is like nectar flowing down from the heavens without reprieve. It is indeed soma of being alive – this self we are intended to be with; who we are. Our self – nature divine. It is not words; but the simple existential truth that each and every one of us in the absence of fear of being left to ourselves will realize. Perhaps this life or the next when ripe.

Sit Still. Breathe deep – feel alive. There is no cause for angst anxiety or fear. What you leave unto itself – will disappear or show itself complete.

Peace and Love  


Friday, August 9, 2013

Tsunami Beckoning


The day starts bleak, another morning with the sun rising and the fishermen waking up to the call of the local mosque and temple blaring their sycophancy out of everyone;s dreamtime.

Ram wakes up before the sirens of various man made religion calling the faithful to worship go up disturbing the quiet morning air. He is a devotee. He is such a priceless lover; towards entirety. A chaste simpleton. He wants not anything more than the simple waves roaring towards him endlessly. To make him a part of their motion. To make him dissolve into the salt water once again.

He washes up and goes out of his shack and towards the beautiful mesmerizing sea. She is calling. She is power; the divine feminine after all. He is in love and the beautiful sounds are calling him towards his personal insanity.

He has lived some 30 odd years on this planet, nothing has life given him except the wonder of this vast blue ocean. Sometimes so rough and distasteful and sometimes so sublime (especially by night). He cannot fathom living away from her, and all her moods. Her roaring days, her endless nights singing to the moon. Her waves and foam. Ram could not fathom to be born ever away from her.

This day was different of course; he went sat his limp body against her tides and meditated for an entire lifetime in time with her – and she spoke to him. First and perhaps the final time to a human.

“I come to you in such peace, the land gets crumpled and I take it below my surface. Within my depth; everything is present, in darkness and for-ever/ You come and sail on me, and envy my entirety. Ram you will not be disappointed. You will revel in my sublime existence?”

This is what he sensed and no more. His left brain tried to interpret and his right brain tried to give it up to the mighty sea. And then the crimson rays of sun grew ever brighter. They gave light (like never before) and ram was mesmerized – reminding him of his childhood. The days where he never had to pay attention to the mighty existence which breathed heavily on him – on the shore. The days where the lighting sun was a new experience. This was one of those days. This was the moment – maybe which he had been hoping and mediating on for a lifetime now since his post pubescence.

He sets his sails open and moves into the ocean looking a new place to throw his net – and wait in patience for the fishes drawn to his personal magnetism, the fishes come, and within a short while they run away, they do not stay for the net to be drawn out? Why ram wonders when he lifts his net. What is it about today? In over 3 decades – this has never happened – the ocean she speaks to me and the fishes residing in her belly run away. Why is this day so special? Why is this my reckoning?

In a matter of minutes his questions answered, the seas seem turbulent and the waves rise more than he has ever seen his short span of a life. He feels the sea bulge and start the process of spitting out her innards. Ram rows towards the shore; lest his little hammock of a boat be upturned.

He gets off and looks towards the mighty blue wave which progresses towards him like a wall. He feels peace – his prayers somehow are answered with this mesmerizing sight. He feels content. He opens his arms – as wide as they could possibly be stretched. He welcomes the waves to wash off his soul far away from the mortal coil.

The waves stop in thin air – they do not progress towards ram. They stand mesmerized themselves. The sea finally sees what his frail fragile heart is made of. What it has been asking in the first place. That the waves come more than what the shore line confines them to be. Ram is so elated; so blissful that this time around the waves will come and swallow the land and all that it holds dear. There will be no difference between prayer and prayer answered. The waves and mighty sea in love with ram, could not destroy him (or could she?)

Ram has his eyes still closed and waters running deep under his skin. He knows the game begun now will finally end, in the arms of his lover – the mighty roaring endless sea. He will sit in her depth; in the darkness away from the world’s humbug and will meditate endlessly – on her majesty. The beckoning is now turned into staunch reality! What a marvellous day to wake up and die for.

And on the other side; the mighty blue ocean – in a tizzy to see sights of such a fine warrior and lover, who is willing to die to embrace her depths. She couldn’t go through with this. The wall of wave wishes to recede (and the masses standing looking at the sea – from a far distance; are in awe – they look at ram and are unable to understand what is going on this mad man’s mind – has he lost it, does he not understand the gravity of such a situation)

Only the love calls forth the mad to the periphery and willingly makes them lose their minds, so that they can reunite in the flesh and depth of the almighty. Of the love that flavours and beckons them without any fucking reason. This is indeed the mighty will and calling.

The seas they dissipate and ram still looks not and in a mental frame of being accepted finally wishes the moment to last and not pass. That his mortal death be enjoyed by the sea looking for vengeance for all the wrong done by man living on her shore – looking for comfort and never immersing himself ever to do the hard work for blessed heaven’s more.

Ram calls his heart out; and open and this time the tsunami once again comes from the wave behind. This time the seas come towards ram and ram only. One after another waves size of 10 story buildings wash over the land. Every one has had time to retreat out of their homes and temples of falsehood and run far far away from this mighty power. All except Ram.

Ram is drenched, not in liquid water – but the all knowingness and sense which pervades this earth and beyond. Which pervades in the depth of dark oceans and also the depth of dark matter in deep void space. He is drenched and loses his mortal ‘self’ quick. He is taken back home. To the hoary depths of deep waters. Where he sits in religious fervour. Looking for another to cross over from the shore to the depth of god. Looking out for a tsunami beckoning to lose themselves in….



Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Lives of Others…..


The Lives of others; so much similar to our own. Except that we do not possess one; just like all the others; all sham shabby drone!

The lives of others seem so attractive – on the TV screen, they make us feel special and when we achieve what seems so special. Seems withered dry hollow and just not right!

We breathe in a hurry and run hither thither (every moment of every day) - to live to become; like others. Who are not ourselves and never could be. We choose to not want to stop (even for a moment) to think and feel and let be; as we were born from the womb – naturally (free!).

Mass consumerism has made us slaves to look like actors, talk like politicians, behave like saints and act like degraded perverse souls. When others question our profane behaviour – we just reply;

‘We are not ourselves, we are the mirror image of others’

I once walked down a crowded road – looking at my brethren each and which direction, only to be surprised. I saw no two different though each thought itself unique; this masquerade – was it my folly to believe that only I could see this grandiose reality. Where are you living the definition of yourself (which is not related to a brand; a cons-meristic pattern; a goal oriented end; a definition – label of known; a hedonistic nihilistic cry for help in truth!)

Living the life of others is taxing, making us slaves to all forms of substance and experience addiction – to the morning makeup, to the evening breakup, to the night time party, to the daytime lies. Its such a drain on the self. When we are mirrors of hollow-ness. Passing our time. So adulterated; so not sublime.

Our lives each unique – borne from the void to experience the enlightened on nature of being here; and believe me it is not bleak. But when we start to live like how others tell us to be, what can we look forward to but the eventual realization that at the end; all we really got was to be conned to be like something which we were never meant to be. A cosmo magazine gal, A durex toting guy; all frills and flash; no substance and individual style.

Why do we not sit in a corner and shut up. Close the TV and its endless brainwashing lies, Be alone for a while (without the white noise of the mind); contemplate on your self. Maybe it will become a regular feature – saving you from artificial guilt (of trying so hard to live the life of others!)


We are natural, We are free. A lifetime to define deify and decide who we ought to be!

Peace. Choose wisely. A lifetime otherwise down the drain. many more awaiting.



Thursday, July 25, 2013

Bain is Boon!


The concepts used in The Dark Knight Rises (movie) are fascinating given the perspective it comes from a cartoon series – which has set its base in stereotypes and what not. I am a fan of batman since I was a child (used to watch the batman cartoon regularly on TV – the original series with its fabulous sketch work and dark themes along with the brooding dialogues) and of course like countless others was fascinated by the dark themes, almost bordering on morbid dark adult fantasy. The evil guys; the good bat all shrouded in darkness and a tormented almost hopeless city called Gotham. It just made sense of what is to come.


And that is how the movie (latest in the trilogy of batman – league of shadows) also looks like. Bain is the the antichrist and batman Jesus – looking to save humanity from its own ignorance. It looks black and well black – to the fan; but as I see the concepts etched (and etched well) in the movie – I beg to differ as the lines of good vs evil. Ignorance vs enlightenment dimmer; flicker and finally get shrouded in darkness!

I respect Bain way more than batman in terms of ideal and belief (I think the director wanted to project that at some level). Bain is driven, not to save a bunch of ignorant indignant people – to hope that they will someday change their ways to help each other. He is driven to wipe the slate clean; to start over or not start again.

The only question becomes; who is Bain to make such a decision for everyone (is there not innocence left in Gotham? Are there not people worth saving from death, is there no hope for ignorance to change eventually). If you notice what I write below – bain is merely an agent of nature – which comes about in the form of natural or man made destruction to wipe slates clean when the apt time has come, when ignorant is ripe and rising. And in fact it is someone like batman who should be questioned for his heinous actions – of imposing hope on and for those who deserve and ask for it never!

Bain comes from the lineage of shadows; who wait and keep watching, and when they see no hope – finally destroy what is of negative consequence to the scheme of things to be. He is in some respect the messiah; the saviour; lord kalki who brings the judgement day. In many cultures such a figure is revered – he will bring about a fresh start (and yes though religion has stated that the dutiful, merciful, faith bound shall be saved. In reality – reality has no such distinctions. Nature just knows when enough is enough!)

So there is batman – who has the best (it is subjective) of intentions in hand but what are they in the first place? he doesnt want Bain to start the people’s revolution (which by the way is the only thing which common people have left to get back sanity – to stop capitalism here and now. To change the order or predator and prey)

Batman wants status quo to exist; and he wants that he should be the only one who can witness and change what he wants from Gotham. In some sense, bruce wayne is the real bastard – he thinks that he knows better than anyone; and he justifies it with hope for the people. In truth, he thinks only he knows whats right and wrong; and what’s right is that law and so called order proposed by governments should exist and people should remain numb and dumb – be looted day and night – and he can come in between when things get real fucked up and save the day!

People know better, and Bain knows that – and people know how to destroy or save themselves as a whole; Bain realizes the wisdom. He gives the power back to the madness of Gotham – and sees it dissolve itself back into a dark slithering void. What a visionary for the human world.

I really give it up to Bain – He starts the movie with the epic statement “The Fire rises” and this is not about destruction only. It is about burning down the ignorance of mankind held so dear -  to cinders. It is about rising from the fire or not. But changing the status quo. Something batman at his level cannot allow. (Who is one man to decide even if in favor of hope for an apathetic race – hellbent in destroying itself, isnt it an antithesis to give hope when the majority revel in doom?)

This is a movie in which i give my complete hats off to the so called projected villain (and history is written merely by victors against those who have been defeated in war ) – for he becomes the hero of the masses, ensuring true chaos takes its due place after eons/millenia of ordered institutionalized shit has seeped into the masses (and chaos though existent) is but an instrument used by the vain and materialistically inclined to downgrade those who actually want peace to exist (which by the way is the aim of league of shadows as well of which batman was a part)

Bain is a clear hero of mine, and though I admire with what intention batman initially sets of to do (fight evil – ignorance of the mind which spreads like a disease) I guess in this movie;script – he is the one who is ignorant. for it is time that he lets go. He lets the garbage not run amok. He lets the fire of rage; of change and dissolution rise – for a better tomorrow after all (even if there is none!)



“Speak of the devil and he shall appear.”

“Courts will be convened. Spoils will be enjoyed. Blood will be shed. The police will survive as they learn to serve true justice. This great city, it will endure. Gotham will survive.”

“Calm down Doctor, now is not the time for fear. That comes later.”

“I’m necessary evil.”

“Crashing this plane with no survivors.”

“These have cost you your strength. Victory has defeated you.”

“You don’t fear death, you welcome it. Your punishment must be more severe.”

“We will destroy Gotham, then when it is done and Gotham is ashes, then you have my permission to die.”

“Oh, so you think darkness is your ally? But you merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man, by then to me it was only blinding. The shadows betray you because they belong to me.”

“Oh yes, I was wondering what would break first, your spirit or your body?”

Monday, July 22, 2013

The Flight of Mighty Eagle




The mythical bird of ancients – the mighty eagle / Garuda. For a long time I have had a tough time understanding why the animal has the status of a demi god in Hinduism and many south American shaman societies.

Garuda is representative like most gods – to indicate a particular constellation in the night sky, he also is the eastern counterpart of the  Phoenix symbolism to some extent. But why such a great fixation on the bird in the first place?

I understand the esoteric significance of the animal totem – which has wings – for it symbolizes flight – and of course physical en-lightenment and metaphysical freedom from the body. But why exactly is it given the semi – divine status?

Garuda is the enemy of snakes – it will kill the demon spawn of earth. But in most religions – the snake itself is an animal totem which is very heavily revered – from Hinduism to tribal/pagan religions; snakes are considered wise and in tune with nature. Then why is this other totem attacking and destroying another.

Then one day it finally struck me; it seemed to be so subtle and so cleverly designed – the bird is the higher nature of man; of spirit. The snake representation is the lower.

Energy in beings is called in sanskrit as ojas. Ojas is sexual and spiritual energy. When in lower or base centres it is represented by a snake; the snake holds poison in it – which can kill the being through polluted thoughts; squandering and wasting of the precious energy. This is the reason why adam and eve in modern Christianity are told to be aware of the snake – as it will tempt you to eat the fruit of passion and knowledge; which will enslave the energy to lower centres of consciousness.

The snake is devoured whole – when the energy rises to the ajna chakra – this is where the soul takes flight with omniscience and omnipresence – indicated by ancients who experienced it first hand – in shaman iconography – it is represented by an infinite big eagle – which devours energy of the universe through its beaks and lets it out from its wings. It is mighty to behold; and mostly when seers can witness this mighty intake and retake of energy – they are blinded forever in eons. Nothing can save them unless they tread very carefully.

This is mighty violent and massive energy symbolism. The snake represents the individual and localised energy sources – which when rises higher and higher somehow gets converted to refined consciousness (refined power!) This power in turn; is eaten up by the eagle – the mighty garuda! Its food is the consciousness of the universe. It eats it; devours it whole and throws it out once more.

This is the mighty cycle of creation/existence. Nothing is left out; the Eagle is god indeed in energetic terms. Maybe it is something which the scientists have not paid heed to till date; maybe its something elusive which hides in plain sight.

The eagle in Indian and south eastern mythology is placed at the highest of all totems – though it is the guardian and vehicle of Vishnu – it is not an unintelligent animal – it is far more than a normal eagle – it has intuition and ferociousness to destroy enemies (of ignorance), something is still amiss. For it is not like an animal at all. It is perhaps a species unto itself, something which is not of earth; something which has flown from the heavens of beyond; right unto the lap of earth. Destroying the base-ness of earth centric life.

Freeing us to join it, to taste the nectar it brings forth atop the ajna chakra *third eye*

(It is an awe inspiring symbol – giving perspective above and beyond what is necessarily recognized, of patience of perching and seeing life pass by, of striking when the opportunity is hot and ripe. Seeing what cannot be seen in day to day life!)


Thursday, July 18, 2013

Land of Lakes–Warangal Oasis (Kakatiyan despair!)


The central part of India – called Deccan plateau – a flatbed with few high rising hillocks is one of the prettiest and perhaps underexplored parts of the country (cause well its so accessible, no one bothers visiting it). Being close to Hyderabad, had an opportunity to drive down 150 odd km to the former capital of kakatiyas – Warangal. Now in telengana district and laid to ruins, the place in former days was the seat of human power and surrounded by thick semi arid forests of lore.

Visiting the beautiful old Jain temple on the way (dedicated to Lord neminath and adinath) with a stopover, finally reached Warangal on a sultry hot day (pre-monsoons Indian subcontinent is one pile of sweat). Put up in a government lodge and freshened up to go out and check out the beautiful ruins within the city. Could see the thousand pillared temple and other artefacts (but none of them looked really glorious to be frank – especially compared to other parts of fame in India); and before I knew it – it was evening time.

Headed to the the large (and perhaps man made lake) called Durgam Cheruvu – where on its banks lies the beautiful and powerful shakti pith for mother goddess – patron goddess of Warangal and kings. The deity looked so immense and beautiful, I was really without any words; one of the largest deities in size I have seen; covered in vermillion and yellow sari. She looked divine and powerful. Saw that in front of her there is a small Shri Yantra – and it struck me that perhaps Adi shankara would have been there – to install the same. Checked with the temple priest and he confirmed that it was not perhaps adi but one of the shankaracharya’s and currently the temple was overseen by adi shankaracharya.


Spent the evening twilight in peace and some meditation (albeit with the mosquito biting furiously). My mother and I felt very happy – and I particularly that I was with my own mother in a power place witnessing a beautiful sunset on the lake. We saw many a fisher folk on the lake – working together to try to net – to catch some fishes (but I really couldn’t see any one of them get any – perhaps cause they were laying the nets – or perhaps they were all drunk and there were no fishes in the lake!)

Had an early local dinner at our hotel (cause Warangal is really not well known for any tourist amenities – like hotels/restaurants etc). The food was spicy telugu rice material (as this area is mainly non-vegetarian and I am not!) and I gulped it down with loads of water and went for an early night’s rest.

Spent the next day travelling to close by lakes of lore – first visiting the very famous Ramappa temple – which is one stand alone temple very far inside and away from Warangal. The temple was of great importance in the past and the black marble idols looked glorious (even today ramappa is the host for famous dance festivals in the region; as it was in the distant past during kakatiya dynasty’s rule)

The temple is in ruins – and it looked initially like cause of an earthquake (it was confirmed by the priests that invasion after invasion and an earthquake and of course the unmentioned neglect of the locals was the reason). It was a hot day but still could spend time to walk barefoot and check out the various compartments within the temple premise before packing off and moving another 20km in our car to see the ramappa lake. The lake is humongous – and a forest lake lodge made by government stands for folks who want to stay there – the place looked pristine but like a ghost town – no one was living there – and I really wouldn't say its the safest vacation getaways – with the naxal and unemployment influence. No one was inhabiting any of the 10 huge beautiful lodges on the banks of the lake – and even the restaurant was barren.

We saw a beautiful ruined temple on one its banks and I spent time to see what the interior looked like – it was a smaller replica of the ramappa temple – same style of sanctum – even the gandharvas and idols mapped on the stone pillars were same! All in ruins, I was tempted to take a small souvenir for myself – but remembered that these are objects and experiences of blessings and curses. Better to be left unto themselves. Walked around the back of the temple – and saw a wonderful grand reservoir – where water was flowing nay gushing out at incredible speed from the lake – perhaps a dam, for the water to be pushed into a particular direction. Wonderful to see water flowing at such maddening pace! Chaos amidst perfection. Never to be missed i must say!


We travelled from here another 40 odd kms to the next biggest lake in the region – called lachnavaram – truly a delight if not for the hostile looking environments and people around – our car was temporarily stopped by little kids – who were imitating their jobless seniors in a mock way – stopping the road with a block and trying to throw stones on the car – and our driver was indeed a bit shaken up. The lake is deep within jungle – and is surrounded by naxal influence. We didn't spend much time – but the lake had a number of small islands in between connected by bridges – the place is well known for migratory birds which come from as far as Siberia during the Indian winters – to nest and chill.

We spent some time in the hot mid day sun appreciating the natural wonder of a lake and started off on the long way back to hyderabad. Journey back uneventful but overall a beautiful getaway at minimum turbulence – to see the once mighty empire fallen unto dust – as usual; as always.



Friday, June 21, 2013

Om Datta Nath’s Retreat!


Ethi Potla is a small oasis in the middle of the Deccan plateau; located very close to hyderabad; now a tourist attraction. Many miss to see the true value of the place, though even I stayed a limited time in this natural lagoon, fed by two massive waterfalls. I could see the power in the place maybe sometime in the past. Maybe even now. There is no easy way to get close to the falls, cause the whole place is damned one side by massive rocks from which the water gushes – steep enough not to walk, and the other side by massive vegetation. Both impenetrable at least not easy, and the signage's speak of indian crocodile in the vicinity. So my friends and I visit the local temple at a distance from the falls, on a small hillock (which all of south indian mountains are) – a view which is beautiful to say the least – for it shows the start of the thick almost impenetrable nalla malay forest ranges. The temple looked beautiful

Dedicated to lord of lords, Beautiful conceptual superhuman rishi – Dattatreya, with the power of consciousness beckoning, we head towards the top. The hillock rests peacefully and has a restful aura, the place has a tunnel to link to sri sailam – a distance away. Maybe ancient times, people came and meditated in the darkness of the caves and opened themselves up to fresh cooling water once in a while. Maybe the lord sits in em still, meditating in turiya and power all night every night.

I sat and made a peaceful bow to the deity inside shrouded in darkness, not very well lit but still can see a huge statured nath, sadhu standing in power. His supposed wife madhumati’s shrine being below, but I could see a woman by his side, perhaps Bhu devi – as the signage’s had informed. I meditated and let go. There was utter peace in the place – with monkeys playing around and down below – shaven headed folks cooking their night meal – maybe staying over and doing the dark dance in front of their tribal lord. This is tribal land, pure and pristine and so impenetrable – this way of life – homage to nature and a power deity – maybe historic or conceptualized. It seemed so right. It seemed a humble life, but in the shrouded darkness of the forest, the falling sounds of mighty ethi pothala (which means the place of rishis mediation lol), the fear of crocodiles and snakes every nook and corner. The shakti of Lord Datta!

A resort of adepts, who are relearning about their ancient mother, this earth and its boundaries, the waters and endless skies. Shrouded forests of wonder and horror. The power and grace of it all, within a blink of an eye’s lord datta makes all of us wake up. Seeing for fresh view!

Peace and ..

Datta Love!

Ode to Humanity

I am not a big fan of human kind, the version of life that in today’s day seems to be only focused upon itself. The day’s pass and humans ...