Toppling Over and Over

 

Let us put our imaginations together; with heart. There is no stopping the grand dream to come true (or false)

So there is this grand being up in the sky (sky means the ether – dark energy / the in between of everything) He is amused at life and how it feels like god once a while (like himself).

He wants to see how vibratory breath of himself in microcosm might work; so he wraps up a long rope made of etheric power and wheels at the end of it dense vibratory energy which comes together as atoms and bosons and molecules and what not. This becomes life, whirling at higher centrifugal force than the rest of surroundings. Hence it has the power to move and of course the power of will which will undertake decisions.

So god up above in akasha, watches the show silently and enjoys his (not gender conscious) whirling tops move here and there, intermingle and create new tops. And the cycle never stops. Tops stop at one point from whirling around. The energy dissipates into the putty of himself and new tops (or were they the same ones, who can tell – for the creator is so immersed in the show).

Now imagine you are this creator, and your being – this body and existence of a mind imagining itself (hallucinating a right word actually) itself to its nihilistic death; watching itself and all the tops its creating from birth to demise, where our body along with our grand illusions of thoughts of ourselves dissolve into the putty of everything and is reborn as another (or is it the same>)

Your body made of miniscule tops all creating balance and making the body work, creating a sense of life lived. Time passed, and eternity felt for a minute or less.

Toppling over and over; its almost funny to me, in a deep sensational sense. All is merging into itself and creating a powerful epiphany. Which perhaps this creator enjoys noticing. Within his body, within his mindful (or less) being. Who can tell, for I tell you; the creator is far too immersed in watching the show; getting lost in the feeling of epiphany to pay any attention to us. He is after all creating this to feel alive. Just like all of us. And is it not the simplest of truths.

I feel like a creator of realms every where such. Just like my beautiful deity. My sense of purpose, my creator and demise. Praise and grace follows through everywhere.

Toppling over to Peace…

Toppling Over

 

Once you topple over; its pretty funny to stand back up especially if you are rotating at great speeds.

Prophetic words and they are literally and energetically so true. It sums our experience of life as we know and like to define it. If we would like to do that in the first place.

Imagine; the whole universe (inclusive of everything of darkness) like a top, spinning on its axis of sorts. Balanced and sometimes not, yet vibrating in itself in entirety complete without boundary BUT held together by a centre. A centre which is imagined by entirety.

Imagine yourself spinning in a trance, cantered yet rapidly moving around. The centre is but a point. A bindu; which keeps the spinning in some form of control (imagined control). Imagine that this centre is spoken by this mass of yourself -as “I – can be read as eye”.

We are I. Each one of us spinning around a so called centre. What better poetry than this, what better imagination to describe ourselves.

Sometimes the centre shifts. The axis rather, like all tops do as well. They move hither and thither; they are so amusing to watch. Adorable is the word. and hence we like to spin our tops. Literally to amuse ourselves and keep it in control (What in control? – chaos of course. Grand specific energy which is the entirety and all of us included)

Sometimes our tops shake and we move here and there, explore different life paths and feel remorse and life again. We get in touch and then re find our centres. Re tune it to something which the tops keep moving in splendorous rhythm.

Sometimes the axis dissolves and the top falls over. Battered and abused, it tries to find back its dance, its movement which will keep it forever in this limbo of illusion of life. Sometimes it never finds the illusion fun any more, and yet the beauty of it all is, that it creates a new sense of wonder but toppling over. It creates immense delight. Without the conception of I, which defines everything in the world as according to its own nature; the self-less/center less/without axis mundi top – is the be all and end all of this and that.

So when was the last time you fell apart; your grand imagination of yourself finally hit the ground; maybe you picked up the pieces, maybe you were not yourself anymore. Whatever may be the case; the new remoulded energy – held and made of the kundalini Shakti. The primordial and real dark energy, held together by the divine dance; never topples. It just creates another one in turn to amuse itself – in the name of life. If one understands that toppling over and getting back up is the real amusement of one’s life. One’s grand purpose, one’s soul burning purification – which creates the immensity and beauty in our lives. It is all sustained by the imaginary self/ the false I. The ego, our labels in the mind. Our life lead in the mind; experienced only by senses. Exit clause of our soul.

So topple over and be surprised. It will surely be fun I tell you; getting back up and retuning the life force till you decide that giving up the speed, the need, greed of turning around is not the way to experience totality. Life. Shakti.

Peace

To Be God?!

 

Won’t beat around the bush; to be god is a lifestyle (choice). To be of nature and nurturing is the sublime purpose of life experience itself. Elucidate.

To be god requires feats and faiths which modern man is not willing to make. For modern man is inertial, requires comfort, and requires to be come more dense / static. To be god is to be of course fluidic, spiral un bound.

To be god entails to see life with humble eyes, requiring sacrifice; hard and sometimes unkind. The mind is forced to see this, and for most of us unfortunate folks – thoughts become a lifestyle of lack of choice.

I respect and admire what human beings will undergo to purge their (in their terms) so called lower selves; to be replaced with god’s light or divinity or truth or any such abstract concepts.

God is part of the day to day life and our thoughts won’t let us see that, thoughts come and go, bring a lazy dream or none but a bore, becomes so numb to be a part of this global lazy thought called a lifestyle of comfort, no surprise.

To be god, requires faith and a letting go of what an individual will concern to be his/her/its survival. When this faith is born, many call inner divinity to come alive – to take material gross form. The vibrations become in tune and shed inertia – becoming part of the universal mind (lack of it)

To be god is err removing the cloak and dagger and unburdening with the crucifixion by the side. I do not know how else to put it, leaving everything. Becoming what is to be. Natural, suffice.

To be god is keeping the I thought to either ends, keep it or leave it, change it and burn it. Become the eye of the storm, sheltering the peace full lifestyle of your choice. To be god is indeed a pleasure for each one of us without hurting another (at the extent of yourself indeed?)

Blank eyes and luscious lips; kissing forth every moment. As long as we fail to recognize the melody which keeps the hearts beating, lungs breathing; gut burning. With the intense desire to complete the incomplete. To become what we were intended to be. What we are, just another word. God Lol

Peace

The XII House (Dark Bind)

 

There are many who know what is about to happen before it ever does. They can see or predict the future. They know what is here, has already been ordained. The difference is the illusion of the self which plays/acts out the same. So maybe it is one person as compared to another who we meet cause of the decisions we make – but the person; situation; experience would still be the same.

It is kind of like you cannot escape your hardened fate – at any costs. Many would not have felt like this, and there may be those who would contest that actually thinking like that would attract such a causal scenario. Who is to say what is right or not. I am one of those people who have seen this being acted out in my life. And this is without me pouring my energy into a particular result I so desired (or desired to evade).

Whichever corner I turned, I would find the same problems or pains or gains disguised as another person, thing or experience. Then it struck me that though the externals looked and even behaved different. The end result was always going to be foretold and foreknown (to those who knew the basics)

So I really know squat about astrology – and would be the last person to perhaps give advice based on planetary configurations. But the recent past of my life had so much impact on my mind, that I really could not resist the desire to understand what it was in my birth charts that was so impacting who I was / what I was being forced to see/ experience.

So there are these nine planets (sun, moon and the nodes of the moon are planets – probably cause they exert some form of gravitational or other worldly energy – yet to be noticed by lay humans) and these nine planets are kind of friends and enemies to each other, and each one of them have a native house and if they are present in their house or their friends house (the houses are in the natal chart btw lol) then they act as enforcers of the personality or karmic bonds they create, and similarly if they are present in their enemies gaze or native house; they tend to create negative influences of the energy they exert.

Now across whatever culture which follows astrology – these charts and the number of planets remains constant – and also interestingly the fascination with the twelfth or last house – The house of Pisces.

This house mirrors the collective unconscious – which patterns our dreams, our ancestors, the great unknown from which everything is formed and dissolved and so forth. It is the storehouse of dark energy and also matters which remain non-disclosed. If any planet is present in this house – it is generally influenced by this and in turn influences these characteristics in the person.

My twelfth house hosts two planets (which are in opposition to each other). The first one is the mighty SUN – which represents the self. The self of each person, also called the core, the nature of I and so forth. Also RAHU or north node of the moon is present – RAHU affects the mind and it clouds whatever it touches. In this case my self. Hence I find that my self will always be attracted, affected and in tune with the unknown.

The house is the collective unknown as I already said, it is where the entire cosmos’ dreams and imaginations come alive, but for one which reason remain hidden (till the appropriate time comes for their revelation, these are life altering and events of extreme wonder. Not witnessed in the day to day for we do choose in the first place not to see it – and shelve it towards the unknown)

The house is where power has a chance to come to the realm of un-imagination to put it another way. To come alive.

You can see a lot of videos on the XII house on the net, everyone knows only this about it – that it is the entire blackness following like the shadow of the consciousness (if it were depicted as light). And we all know, the fun is always in the shadows.

Exploring your XII house may have extreme repercussions, for me it has opened up the reason for my existence, why I have had to take birth in the first place (for I am of the opinion that life itself did not have to be enacted in my case)

But there are these so called weaknesses – which mark the soul and the self. My self being in the XII house is bound to be bound for one which of many reasons or the other. It is to suffer in the silence and alone-ness for extended times to make rhyme and/or reason for this life. My self is doomed to be shunned and thrown away in places of wonder and madness. I have to pick this up, I have to change it in my life, convert my inner dark self (sun) to become what it is by nature – shining and glowing sun of the inner mind. My sun has been broken down being in the XII house in the presence of Rahu – which will throw the mind even more into darkness of this wondrous and dangerous house. This will lead to times when the self will be morbid in its introspection and times where it will revel in the background of even more dark ignorant vibes. My self has been made to undergo all this what I speak about, with times in between to reflect, it is up to me now to change the scheme of events, and why this life had to be played about in the first place. It is time to shine and bow down in humility, and realize that the unknown within is placed without. Eternity is darkness, shining forth in this dark doom is the sole soul of sun. Make it shine silent and night bright.

I wish that my sun, is able to come forth and show the way for others, the way which is the goal, which is life and of course death and regeneration so many times over. I choose that my sun (my self) is in tune with yours and all others, so that darkness and light may not be of consequence.

Peace (Meditations on the XII House of wonder)

 

 

 

Three Wiser Men

The three wiser men await the birth of a new child. 

I land up on the beaches of west coast; the sands are blowing hot and cold; moist and bold - I take a first whiff and remember my body and soul together. 
Take a seat and look at the beautiful ocean, calling with her clear calm gentle whistling soul stirring song. Never ending waves break on to the coast. The scenery of revelry has finally unmasked in my being. What I was to be; never ending water called forth by the beautiful moon. 

My dear friend and I unpack and let the formalities be, we meet our dear friend from another land and engage in beautiful convoluted conversations. We make the best of our time, we know that it will never come back. A realization so simple so easily forgotten otherwise. 

My vacation has taken grip in my mind; not that I ever mind it doing that any how. I freshen up and take a shower and we rent a vehicle to go meet our wiser guides. They have been somehow I suspect, waiting for acting hosts (unwilling or not). They havs,e been seeking our calling to fulfill. 

We ride in the blazing may heat of India, towards their home. Tucked in the rural setting, without a shadow of doubt the center of a firestorm, yet so simply decorated. We land up at their doors, uninvited and without anyone to welcome us in. 
A storm is on the loose - or so it seems; the sun is covered behind the clouds though its not less hotter, the colors have changed, the sky and mood has become one of inevitable surprise. 

Our friend Saada walks in, I can see him with a night light in his hands, he opens the door to his pretty home; colored every wall with different mellow colors, he leads us in and so graciously offers us water and rest. My two friends and I have found our oasis. Saada is japanese and a host at heart. He may not be in a mood to entertain but human heart is so clear. There is no doubt of the wisdom of its love. We sit and entertain ourselves in many ways; and as such saada starts to tell us about a little of what is in his heart tonight (or so many nights). 

We are always proving the nature of the bigger self, the being without par. Saada simply puts it as the god side. He has traveled from Nepal to Goa on bike. He has seen what has to be seen and now he knows the good side and god side of human beings. He tells us about this god side, where one is looking for beauty justice and reward in the name of god. This is his project; his religon and he prophetically calls it PEG project. Proving (perennially) the existence of a god. 
Saada wears a rudraksh around his neck and is dressed to run into wilderness. He is prepared for a warriors battle and he talks about the nature of man kind. 
I like to listen to him and so do my dear brothers. We sit around a round table and look at the scenery change so very often, waiting for saada's brothers to come about; and they do very soon. The project is under way. 

The three wiser men make us at home and invite the matted hair brother who talks less and speaks more. This is a parable of the mind; and soon my friends and I are frying indoors with no ventilation and of course with the power exuding from each one of us. The heat is incredible; we take a practical lesson and go outside towards the ancient waters to prove the existence of saada's theory

It is post evening twilight, and the moon has risen long time now, hid by the omniscient clouds the white light is pouring through the cracks of sky. The light is shining green and golden, fragments pouring inside the eye of mind; there is no way out of here. The sea is ominous. Its noise is subtle yet so power ridden that I fail to understand it completely. My friend and I are both mesmerized. We are sitting and meditating looking out and feeling a bit freer. The project to prove the existence of god is so much in depth that I do not know how describe it. 

We get a couple of beers and finally a long hard winding day comes to a so called halt. I will never forget the beauty of the sky in my life till my life ends. The power of a day and twilight night shown to me by the grace of three wiser men, and a fourth and fifth. These people were shining gods in disguise, they who could see what was not possible to see. 

I am still neck deep in the PEG project; all the time showing myself the beauty of the world and other world. And attributing it to a god or nature, to the unknown and the self. What a waste. Just to observe is enought? experiencing and letting the project taking its course without my active participation would be just fine too. I feel. And my heart over flows. I feel alive just this time. 

Peace 

Y

I am facing a real dilemma today as of forever to say; I cannot get you off my mind, my heart beats triumphantly (only for you). Lost my ego and my so called narcissistic domain; to see a glimpse of you. Whiff and praise your delight every waking hour. This would be my life's soul work so as to say.

Why are these moments of separation present, when love is forever overflowing in the cup filling blessed nectar.
I cannot look away. For even a single moment spent without attention, might lead your love astray (towards me).

Why muse, you have kept me in such wander? Thirsty and crumbling towards tears of sadness, when you sing, when you speak I mean to say; You fill the chambers of my heart with echoes which last this damned eternity (of leading a life away from togetherness)
Why you speak not and whisper tender any more in my ears, Is it that we are to be separated in this life/s tale? Shall we not find shelter together ? Even in the morose never ending depths of eternity?

Why has our life stayed apart, why does it not meander together as one river of love? Why does it flow towards the abyss in a frantic speed, away from the love that we all are be.
Why should you not look upon me, and curse me for writing these words down and not bleeding it from my heart. For that is the true expression of what happens as now, when you remain apart.

I cannot speak of the memories present in my mind, they sting me like a thousand scorpions; all at one time. What remains shall not be, as of what was could never be what is intended. What is must to be.
Why has love forsaken heart and left the realm all together. There are such truths to be breathed in, through you. Tenderness par excellence, yet all I feel is darkness our mother taking over, not intruding on the malady fast spreading afar.

I look at temples of ruin and brokers in tall towers living fast; I know you are there somewhere in between perhaps; forgetting our time spent in this life. I feel a bit saddened and then follow my routine of blessing whatever is good to be. What that there is; shouldn't have been.

Why does love break apart, for it always almost feels to not conform to the sense which we are. My heart weeps every day and every night for my lover, and this pain which should not have been. It is the existential routine; that whatever is borne; bears misery; borne's life and death and the love lost all too soon and compartmentalizes into a fading memory.

I want out, I cry out; without my beloved Tara  lover of life - there is no use. When there is dismay; who shall evoke to make it out of context if not you; without my beloved all I ask is why to the questions of no use.
Why must there be this self, which lives away in reality or dream away from the lover of life and death. If this life is worth something, this time and pain. I would swear it is for love, not the one's which we have already felt. But the kind which we have blocked out for eternity. Open heart, break it, wander you fools. You have not understood what true love is, unless you verily drown in the love for the muse. (of Namaciva)

Peace

How Else Can I Say?

 

The waters are kind of silent. Maybe the prelude to a mind changing storm. I hug my sanity good bye. Let us float on ancient nile. Dancing wild like heathens and making a night under the stars a final chance.

Everyone is so weary, yet so calm. Around me or my body. Wrapped up tight, the beautiful ravine stares back blank like all of our select eyes.

Shakes violent like the mighty eagle or vulture of our creators/our gods flights into the unknown night might have taken over, maybe like our ancient river is giving (a)way, to the underground race once more. The lightning fast silent warriors of snakes and the like. Those who haunt us from the sky and deep water. Stuck on this planet and the seven planes which exist all together, all at one fucking time. The group is shaking in silent vibration.

The night is vast. Stalking my shadow and I. A mockery and foolish attempt to describe something worthwhile. How my mind and my well of a heart cry.

Make it worth your while. Listening; the ravine blows over and the river tides. I am broken; and my lovers who sit silent with me are as well dismayed. The birth of change never changes? ( Our hearts have given way, in the love of all such things)

The possibility of embracing sanity and insanity gives away and the earth trembles open. The core is present alive, and yes the ones underground have taken our place. This is the natural evolution of things and experiences that is said, The earth a model unit of the experience of life in this age/yuga. Snakes and the vast alien dimensions ripping over our carcasses, our energy devoured by the meagre sustaining and replenishing universe.

I salute to the sun and bow down to the earth, giving away my external instances. It is after all about being genuine in the scheme of things. Whatever makes you shine and glow. My entire group feels the same way as we watch the dark night come alive maybe forever in our heads and hearts. We all climb tall to the stance, giving away all attachments; feeling our hearts pound as one. I have felt this way once before.

When was the last time, it beat. For a non tangible cause. When did it beat last for your self to be over whelmed. I do not know for myself. But I verily cry every time I feel the depths and pangs of the infinite heart take over for the beloved. Tara be blessed. Tara be praised. When the divine mother takes everything from us, shall she bless us with everything. Inside the ravine is our minds. Now almost gone, we see every time over like a reset button till we know what is to happen at the advent of our birth. OF course our deaths.

Tango and embrace; break off and part ways. Life is dichotomous with a nasty sense of humour. Welcome the way with a kiss.

Beating bravely, it stands tall, like my dark shaman group and I , all giving away our externals All embraced the internal call of the divine. How else can I say?

Peace