Afraid to be Alone?

 

People merrily celebrate independence of a country from a tyrant autocracy – but never ever feeling that they are still bound. By fear and inertia – to forget and look everywhere but within. Is this independence? or the essence of our chained existence; Cradle to Grave.

A disease unparalleled. A delirium of epic proportions. Madness right from the start and a futile attempt to mask the symptoms. A truly delusional proposition. A bleak effort in vain.

You ought to have guessed the intent and effect of what needs to be shared. It is the primal; most intense feeling of fear of course (from what?). It saves us from a certain death at a certain esoteric consciousness level. From physical to metaphysical. Fear is something to hold on to. Maybe till death (No pun intended)

But look around; keeping a silent perception without any biased judgement – do you not see what the suffering is all about? Do you not see that all this running about is nothing but to satiate your unique fear. Your unique ignorance to breathe in yourself….. Losing breaths every single of these blessed lifetimes.

Our Tele-visions and cellular phones. The books, movies, dramas, literati, glitterati  and multitude of social activities. Friends and family; a busy life – these intense hobbies and pursuits. The life of ever expanding interests and opportunities. Of trade and commerce with humans inclusive of all other forms of life around. Is this not what defines our beautiful dramatic ever involving lives? From the beginning to the end.
What is the meaning of all this movement without a cause *yes it is without a cause* Could it be that we are afraid to be with our own thoughts/feelings/neurosis/being’s. Be as who we were born to be, is it that we are in deep seated neglect and denial of our inabilities to cope with our own inner selves?

This is the preliminary realization of those who sit down to correct their mental waves of movement. To slow them down with their breath. This is the most potent of realizations. That the fear all along was to be in peace with oneself. Whatever that oneself could be (That no one wants to ever explore or realize – most people ignorantly assume that they know themselves – based on factors like – what others see and speak, what a mirror shows, and what parents decide them to be – both genetically and conditionally)

But there is the dormant powerful self – waiting within. It is seeing the show of movement – enacted cause of neuron firing rapidly in the brain. The incessant movement from hither to thither to all mask the insecurity/fear of facing oneself every single moment. Is this not boring. Is this not futile? To most it is, and to those who put in a wee bit more effort being in silence darkness and without need to be amused away from who they are in this life – the realization is like nectar flowing down from the heavens without reprieve. It is indeed soma of being alive – this self we are intended to be with; who we are. Our self – nature divine. It is not words; but the simple existential truth that each and every one of us in the absence of fear of being left to ourselves will realize. Perhaps this life or the next when ripe.

Sit Still. Breathe deep – feel alive. There is no cause for angst anxiety or fear. What you leave unto itself – will disappear or show itself complete.

Peace and Love  

 

Tsunami Beckoning

 

The day starts bleak, another morning with the sun rising and the fishermen waking up to the call of the local mosque and temple blaring their sycophancy out of everyone;s dreamtime.

Ram wakes up before the sirens of various man made religion calling the faithful to worship go up disturbing the quiet morning air. He is a devotee. He is such a priceless lover; towards entirety. A chaste simpleton. He wants not anything more than the simple waves roaring towards him endlessly. To make him a part of their motion. To make him dissolve into the salt water once again.

He washes up and goes out of his shack and towards the beautiful mesmerizing sea. She is calling. She is power; the divine feminine after all. He is in love and the beautiful sounds are calling him towards his personal insanity.

He has lived some 30 odd years on this planet, nothing has life given him except the wonder of this vast blue ocean. Sometimes so rough and distasteful and sometimes so sublime (especially by night). He cannot fathom living away from her, and all her moods. Her roaring days, her endless nights singing to the moon. Her waves and foam. Ram could not fathom to be born ever away from her.

This day was different of course; he went sat his limp body against her tides and meditated for an entire lifetime in time with her – and she spoke to him. First and perhaps the final time to a human.

“I come to you in such peace, the land gets crumpled and I take it below my surface. Within my depth; everything is present, in darkness and for-ever/ You come and sail on me, and envy my entirety. Ram you will not be disappointed. You will revel in my sublime existence?”

This is what he sensed and no more. His left brain tried to interpret and his right brain tried to give it up to the mighty sea. And then the crimson rays of sun grew ever brighter. They gave light (like never before) and ram was mesmerized – reminding him of his childhood. The days where he never had to pay attention to the mighty existence which breathed heavily on him – on the shore. The days where the lighting sun was a new experience. This was one of those days. This was the moment – maybe which he had been hoping and mediating on for a lifetime now since his post pubescence.

He sets his sails open and moves into the ocean looking a new place to throw his net – and wait in patience for the fishes drawn to his personal magnetism, the fishes come, and within a short while they run away, they do not stay for the net to be drawn out? Why ram wonders when he lifts his net. What is it about today? In over 3 decades – this has never happened – the ocean she speaks to me and the fishes residing in her belly run away. Why is this day so special? Why is this my reckoning?

In a matter of minutes his questions answered, the seas seem turbulent and the waves rise more than he has ever seen his short span of a life. He feels the sea bulge and start the process of spitting out her innards. Ram rows towards the shore; lest his little hammock of a boat be upturned.

He gets off and looks towards the mighty blue wave which progresses towards him like a wall. He feels peace – his prayers somehow are answered with this mesmerizing sight. He feels content. He opens his arms – as wide as they could possibly be stretched. He welcomes the waves to wash off his soul far away from the mortal coil.

The waves stop in thin air – they do not progress towards ram. They stand mesmerized themselves. The sea finally sees what his frail fragile heart is made of. What it has been asking in the first place. That the waves come more than what the shore line confines them to be. Ram is so elated; so blissful that this time around the waves will come and swallow the land and all that it holds dear. There will be no difference between prayer and prayer answered. The waves and mighty sea in love with ram, could not destroy him (or could she?)

Ram has his eyes still closed and waters running deep under his skin. He knows the game begun now will finally end, in the arms of his lover – the mighty roaring endless sea. He will sit in her depth; in the darkness away from the world’s humbug and will meditate endlessly – on her majesty. The beckoning is now turned into staunch reality! What a marvellous day to wake up and die for.

And on the other side; the mighty blue ocean – in a tizzy to see sights of such a fine warrior and lover, who is willing to die to embrace her depths. She couldn’t go through with this. The wall of wave wishes to recede (and the masses standing looking at the sea – from a far distance; are in awe – they look at ram and are unable to understand what is going on this mad man’s mind – has he lost it, does he not understand the gravity of such a situation)

Only the love calls forth the mad to the periphery and willingly makes them lose their minds, so that they can reunite in the flesh and depth of the almighty. Of the love that flavours and beckons them without any fucking reason. This is indeed the mighty will and calling.

The seas they dissipate and ram still looks not and in a mental frame of being accepted finally wishes the moment to last and not pass. That his mortal death be enjoyed by the sea looking for vengeance for all the wrong done by man living on her shore – looking for comfort and never immersing himself ever to do the hard work for blessed heaven’s more.

Ram calls his heart out; and open and this time the tsunami once again comes from the wave behind. This time the seas come towards ram and ram only. One after another waves size of 10 story buildings wash over the land. Every one has had time to retreat out of their homes and temples of falsehood and run far far away from this mighty power. All except Ram.

Ram is drenched, not in liquid water – but the all knowingness and sense which pervades this earth and beyond. Which pervades in the depth of dark oceans and also the depth of dark matter in deep void space. He is drenched and loses his mortal ‘self’ quick. He is taken back home. To the hoary depths of deep waters. Where he sits in religious fervour. Looking for another to cross over from the shore to the depth of god. Looking out for a tsunami beckoning to lose themselves in….

Peace

 

The Lives of Others…..

 

The Lives of others; so much similar to our own. Except that we do not possess one; just like all the others; all sham shabby drone!

The lives of others seem so attractive – on the TV screen, they make us feel special and when we achieve what seems so special. Seems withered dry hollow and just not right!

We breathe in a hurry and run hither thither (every moment of every day) - to live to become; like others. Who are not ourselves and never could be. We choose to not want to stop (even for a moment) to think and feel and let be; as we were born from the womb – naturally (free!).

Mass consumerism has made us slaves to look like actors, talk like politicians, behave like saints and act like degraded perverse souls. When others question our profane behaviour – we just reply;

‘We are not ourselves, we are the mirror image of others’

I once walked down a crowded road – looking at my brethren each and which direction, only to be surprised. I saw no two different though each thought itself unique; this masquerade – was it my folly to believe that only I could see this grandiose reality. Where are you living the definition of yourself (which is not related to a brand; a cons-meristic pattern; a goal oriented end; a definition – label of known; a hedonistic nihilistic cry for help in truth!)

Living the life of others is taxing, making us slaves to all forms of substance and experience addiction – to the morning makeup, to the evening breakup, to the night time party, to the daytime lies. Its such a drain on the self. When we are mirrors of hollow-ness. Passing our time. So adulterated; so not sublime.

Our lives each unique – borne from the void to experience the enlightened on nature of being here; and believe me it is not bleak. But when we start to live like how others tell us to be, what can we look forward to but the eventual realization that at the end; all we really got was to be conned to be like something which we were never meant to be. A cosmo magazine gal, A durex toting guy; all frills and flash; no substance and individual style.

Why do we not sit in a corner and shut up. Close the TV and its endless brainwashing lies, Be alone for a while (without the white noise of the mind); contemplate on your self. Maybe it will become a regular feature – saving you from artificial guilt (of trying so hard to live the life of others!)

We are natural, We are free. A lifetime to define deify and decide who we ought to be!

Peace. Choose wisely. A lifetime otherwise down the drain. many more awaiting.

 

 

Bain is Boon!

 

The concepts used in The Dark Knight Rises (movie) are fascinating given the perspective it comes from a cartoon series – which has set its base in stereotypes and what not. I am a fan of batman since I was a child (used to watch the batman cartoon regularly on TV – the original series with its fabulous sketch work and dark themes along with the brooding dialogues) and of course like countless others was fascinated by the dark themes, almost bordering on morbid dark adult fantasy. The evil guys; the good bat all shrouded in darkness and a tormented almost hopeless city called Gotham. It just made sense of what is to come.

And that is how the movie (latest in the trilogy of batman – league of shadows) also looks like. Bain is the the antichrist and batman Jesus – looking to save humanity from its own ignorance. It looks black and well black – to the fan; but as I see the concepts etched (and etched well) in the movie – I beg to differ as the lines of good vs evil. Ignorance vs enlightenment dimmer; flicker and finally get shrouded in darkness!

I respect Bain way more than batman in terms of ideal and belief (I think the director wanted to project that at some level). Bain is driven, not to save a bunch of ignorant indignant people – to hope that they will someday change their ways to help each other. He is driven to wipe the slate clean; to start over or not start again.

The only question becomes; who is Bain to make such a decision for everyone (is there not innocence left in Gotham? Are there not people worth saving from death, is there no hope for ignorance to change eventually). If you notice what I write below – bain is merely an agent of nature – which comes about in the form of natural or man made destruction to wipe slates clean when the apt time has come, when ignorant is ripe and rising. And in fact it is someone like batman who should be questioned for his heinous actions – of imposing hope on and for those who deserve and ask for it never!

Bain comes from the lineage of shadows; who wait and keep watching, and when they see no hope – finally destroy what is of negative consequence to the scheme of things to be. He is in some respect the messiah; the saviour; lord kalki who brings the judgement day. In many cultures such a figure is revered – he will bring about a fresh start (and yes though religion has stated that the dutiful, merciful, faith bound shall be saved. In reality – reality has no such distinctions. Nature just knows when enough is enough!)

So there is batman – who has the best (it is subjective) of intentions in hand but what are they in the first place? he doesnt want Bain to start the people’s revolution (which by the way is the only thing which common people have left to get back sanity – to stop capitalism here and now. To change the order or predator and prey)

Batman wants status quo to exist; and he wants that he should be the only one who can witness and change what he wants from Gotham. In some sense, bruce wayne is the real bastard – he thinks that he knows better than anyone; and he justifies it with hope for the people. In truth, he thinks only he knows whats right and wrong; and what’s right is that law and so called order proposed by governments should exist and people should remain numb and dumb – be looted day and night – and he can come in between when things get real fucked up and save the day!

People know better, and Bain knows that – and people know how to destroy or save themselves as a whole; Bain realizes the wisdom. He gives the power back to the madness of Gotham – and sees it dissolve itself back into a dark slithering void. What a visionary for the human world.

I really give it up to Bain – He starts the movie with the epic statement “The Fire rises” and this is not about destruction only. It is about burning down the ignorance of mankind held so dear -  to cinders. It is about rising from the fire or not. But changing the status quo. Something batman at his level cannot allow. (Who is one man to decide even if in favor of hope for an apathetic race – hellbent in destroying itself, isnt it an antithesis to give hope when the majority revel in doom?)

This is a movie in which i give my complete hats off to the so called projected villain (and history is written merely by victors against those who have been defeated in war ) – for he becomes the hero of the masses, ensuring true chaos takes its due place after eons/millenia of ordered institutionalized shit has seeped into the masses (and chaos though existent) is but an instrument used by the vain and materialistically inclined to downgrade those who actually want peace to exist (which by the way is the aim of league of shadows as well of which batman was a part)

Bain is a clear hero of mine, and though I admire with what intention batman initially sets of to do (fight evil – ignorance of the mind which spreads like a disease) I guess in this movie;script – he is the one who is ignorant. for it is time that he lets go. He lets the garbage not run amok. He lets the fire of rage; of change and dissolution rise – for a better tomorrow after all (even if there is none!)

BAIN BIBLE:

“Speak of the devil and he shall appear.”

“Courts will be convened. Spoils will be enjoyed. Blood will be shed. The police will survive as they learn to serve true justice. This great city, it will endure. Gotham will survive.”

“Calm down Doctor, now is not the time for fear. That comes later.”

“I’m necessary evil.”

“Crashing this plane with no survivors.”

“These have cost you your strength. Victory has defeated you.”

“You don’t fear death, you welcome it. Your punishment must be more severe.”

“We will destroy Gotham, then when it is done and Gotham is ashes, then you have my permission to die.”

“Oh, so you think darkness is your ally? But you merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man, by then to me it was only blinding. The shadows betray you because they belong to me.”

“Oh yes, I was wondering what would break first, your spirit or your body?”

The Flight of Mighty Eagle

 

 

The mythical bird of ancients – the mighty eagle / Garuda. For a long time I have had a tough time understanding why the animal has the status of a demi god in Hinduism and many south American shaman societies.

Garuda is representative like most gods – to indicate a particular constellation in the night sky, he also is the eastern counterpart of the  Phoenix symbolism to some extent. But why such a great fixation on the bird in the first place?

I understand the esoteric significance of the animal totem – which has wings – for it symbolizes flight – and of course physical en-lightenment and metaphysical freedom from the body. But why exactly is it given the semi – divine status?

Garuda is the enemy of snakes – it will kill the demon spawn of earth. But in most religions – the snake itself is an animal totem which is very heavily revered – from Hinduism to tribal/pagan religions; snakes are considered wise and in tune with nature. Then why is this other totem attacking and destroying another.

Then one day it finally struck me; it seemed to be so subtle and so cleverly designed – the bird is the higher nature of man; of spirit. The snake representation is the lower.

Energy in beings is called in sanskrit as ojas. Ojas is sexual and spiritual energy. When in lower or base centres it is represented by a snake; the snake holds poison in it – which can kill the being through polluted thoughts; squandering and wasting of the precious energy. This is the reason why adam and eve in modern Christianity are told to be aware of the snake – as it will tempt you to eat the fruit of passion and knowledge; which will enslave the energy to lower centres of consciousness.

The snake is devoured whole – when the energy rises to the ajna chakra – this is where the soul takes flight with omniscience and omnipresence – indicated by ancients who experienced it first hand – in shaman iconography – it is represented by an infinite big eagle – which devours energy of the universe through its beaks and lets it out from its wings. It is mighty to behold; and mostly when seers can witness this mighty intake and retake of energy – they are blinded forever in eons. Nothing can save them unless they tread very carefully.

This is mighty violent and massive energy symbolism. The snake represents the individual and localised energy sources – which when rises higher and higher somehow gets converted to refined consciousness (refined power!) This power in turn; is eaten up by the eagle – the mighty garuda! Its food is the consciousness of the universe. It eats it; devours it whole and throws it out once more.

This is the mighty cycle of creation/existence. Nothing is left out; the Eagle is god indeed in energetic terms. Maybe it is something which the scientists have not paid heed to till date; maybe its something elusive which hides in plain sight.

The eagle in Indian and south eastern mythology is placed at the highest of all totems – though it is the guardian and vehicle of Vishnu – it is not an unintelligent animal – it is far more than a normal eagle – it has intuition and ferociousness to destroy enemies (of ignorance), something is still amiss. For it is not like an animal at all. It is perhaps a species unto itself, something which is not of earth; something which has flown from the heavens of beyond; right unto the lap of earth. Destroying the base-ness of earth centric life.

Freeing us to join it, to taste the nectar it brings forth atop the ajna chakra *third eye*

(It is an awe inspiring symbol – giving perspective above and beyond what is necessarily recognized, of patience of perching and seeing life pass by, of striking when the opportunity is hot and ripe. Seeing what cannot be seen in day to day life!)

Peace

Land of Lakes–Warangal Oasis (Kakatiyan despair!)

 

The central part of India – called Deccan plateau – a flatbed with few high rising hillocks is one of the prettiest and perhaps underexplored parts of the country (cause well its so accessible, no one bothers visiting it). Being close to Hyderabad, had an opportunity to drive down 150 odd km to the former capital of kakatiyas – Warangal. Now in telengana district and laid to ruins, the place in former days was the seat of human power and surrounded by thick semi arid forests of lore.

Visiting the beautiful old Jain temple on the way (dedicated to Lord neminath and adinath) with a stopover, finally reached Warangal on a sultry hot day (pre-monsoons Indian subcontinent is one pile of sweat). Put up in a government lodge and freshened up to go out and check out the beautiful ruins within the city. Could see the thousand pillared temple and other artefacts (but none of them looked really glorious to be frank – especially compared to other parts of fame in India); and before I knew it – it was evening time.

Headed to the the large (and perhaps man made lake) called Durgam Cheruvu – where on its banks lies the beautiful and powerful shakti pith for mother goddess – patron goddess of Warangal and kings. The deity looked so immense and beautiful, I was really without any words; one of the largest deities in size I have seen; covered in vermillion and yellow sari. She looked divine and powerful. Saw that in front of her there is a small Shri Yantra – and it struck me that perhaps Adi shankara would have been there – to install the same. Checked with the temple priest and he confirmed that it was not perhaps adi but one of the shankaracharya’s and currently the temple was overseen by adi shankaracharya.

Spent the evening twilight in peace and some meditation (albeit with the mosquito biting furiously). My mother and I felt very happy – and I particularly that I was with my own mother in a power place witnessing a beautiful sunset on the lake. We saw many a fisher folk on the lake – working together to try to net – to catch some fishes (but I really couldn’t see any one of them get any – perhaps cause they were laying the nets – or perhaps they were all drunk and there were no fishes in the lake!)

Had an early local dinner at our hotel (cause Warangal is really not well known for any tourist amenities – like hotels/restaurants etc). The food was spicy telugu rice material (as this area is mainly non-vegetarian and I am not!) and I gulped it down with loads of water and went for an early night’s rest.

Spent the next day travelling to close by lakes of lore – first visiting the very famous Ramappa temple – which is one stand alone temple very far inside and away from Warangal. The temple was of great importance in the past and the black marble idols looked glorious (even today ramappa is the host for famous dance festivals in the region; as it was in the distant past during kakatiya dynasty’s rule)

The temple is in ruins – and it looked initially like cause of an earthquake (it was confirmed by the priests that invasion after invasion and an earthquake and of course the unmentioned neglect of the locals was the reason). It was a hot day but still could spend time to walk barefoot and check out the various compartments within the temple premise before packing off and moving another 20km in our car to see the ramappa lake. The lake is humongous – and a forest lake lodge made by government stands for folks who want to stay there – the place looked pristine but like a ghost town – no one was living there – and I really wouldn't say its the safest vacation getaways – with the naxal and unemployment influence. No one was inhabiting any of the 10 huge beautiful lodges on the banks of the lake – and even the restaurant was barren.

We saw a beautiful ruined temple on one its banks and I spent time to see what the interior looked like – it was a smaller replica of the ramappa temple – same style of sanctum – even the gandharvas and idols mapped on the stone pillars were same! All in ruins, I was tempted to take a small souvenir for myself – but remembered that these are objects and experiences of blessings and curses. Better to be left unto themselves. Walked around the back of the temple – and saw a wonderful grand reservoir – where water was flowing nay gushing out at incredible speed from the lake – perhaps a dam, for the water to be pushed into a particular direction. Wonderful to see water flowing at such maddening pace! Chaos amidst perfection. Never to be missed i must say!

We travelled from here another 40 odd kms to the next biggest lake in the region – called lachnavaram – truly a delight if not for the hostile looking environments and people around – our car was temporarily stopped by little kids – who were imitating their jobless seniors in a mock way – stopping the road with a block and trying to throw stones on the car – and our driver was indeed a bit shaken up. The lake is deep within jungle – and is surrounded by naxal influence. We didn't spend much time – but the lake had a number of small islands in between connected by bridges – the place is well known for migratory birds which come from as far as Siberia during the Indian winters – to nest and chill.

We spent some time in the hot mid day sun appreciating the natural wonder of a lake and started off on the long way back to hyderabad. Journey back uneventful but overall a beautiful getaway at minimum turbulence – to see the once mighty empire fallen unto dust – as usual; as always.

Peace

 

Om Datta Nath’s Retreat!

 

Ethi Potla is a small oasis in the middle of the Deccan plateau; located very close to hyderabad; now a tourist attraction. Many miss to see the true value of the place, though even I stayed a limited time in this natural lagoon, fed by two massive waterfalls. I could see the power in the place maybe sometime in the past. Maybe even now. There is no easy way to get close to the falls, cause the whole place is damned one side by massive rocks from which the water gushes – steep enough not to walk, and the other side by massive vegetation. Both impenetrable at least not easy, and the signage's speak of indian crocodile in the vicinity. So my friends and I visit the local temple at a distance from the falls, on a small hillock (which all of south indian mountains are) – a view which is beautiful to say the least – for it shows the start of the thick almost impenetrable nalla malay forest ranges. The temple looked beautiful

Dedicated to lord of lords, Beautiful conceptual superhuman rishi – Dattatreya, with the power of consciousness beckoning, we head towards the top. The hillock rests peacefully and has a restful aura, the place has a tunnel to link to sri sailam – a distance away. Maybe ancient times, people came and meditated in the darkness of the caves and opened themselves up to fresh cooling water once in a while. Maybe the lord sits in em still, meditating in turiya and power all night every night.

I sat and made a peaceful bow to the deity inside shrouded in darkness, not very well lit but still can see a huge statured nath, sadhu standing in power. His supposed wife madhumati’s shrine being below, but I could see a woman by his side, perhaps Bhu devi – as the signage’s had informed. I meditated and let go. There was utter peace in the place – with monkeys playing around and down below – shaven headed folks cooking their night meal – maybe staying over and doing the dark dance in front of their tribal lord. This is tribal land, pure and pristine and so impenetrable – this way of life – homage to nature and a power deity – maybe historic or conceptualized. It seemed so right. It seemed a humble life, but in the shrouded darkness of the forest, the falling sounds of mighty ethi pothala (which means the place of rishis mediation lol), the fear of crocodiles and snakes every nook and corner. The shakti of Lord Datta!

A resort of adepts, who are relearning about their ancient mother, this earth and its boundaries, the waters and endless skies. Shrouded forests of wonder and horror. The power and grace of it all, within a blink of an eye’s lord datta makes all of us wake up. Seeing for fresh view!

Peace and ..

Datta Love!