The cursed city

An awesome place to visit near delhi, is Bangarh. It is near sariska forest sanctuary in Rajasthan and hardly half a days drive from the city. Bangarh and the close by ajabgarh (which I wasn’t fortunate enough to visit) are old archaeological sites discovered by the ASI, Bangarh is a whole city by itself, with a king’s castle, two temples (one dedicated to Krishna and the other to Shiva), a whole town- and many more delights. The entire spread has a magical tint to it, as most of the structures are without roofs (and possibly renovated by the ASI from rubbles).
The city has a haunted touch to it by itself, over and above that many people believe that after dark; the entire city comes alive of the inhabitants of the days when the city was thriving. The reason being the instant death of the whole city supposedly by a tantric (in some cases the tantric was a lover to the queen, and other stories suppose that the tantric was the queen herself), who went ahead to curse the city causing instant death to the entire set of inhabitants there. The souls perhaps are still not at peace, and many people (whom I talked with-locals) there still believed that after dark, it was not a place to be taken lightly.
One of the guards animatedly and point of fact also told me that the ghosts are not souls and are ‘djinns’ and they meet every Saturday in the temple area. While I also met local shepherds (one of the shepherds who I could speak with was an old man smoking his hookah and tending his animals)- he said that after dark there were wild animals in the vicinity who come to drink the water from the central Jharna/Fountain area – formed between the city.
The palace of the king is on the side of a mountain and built on it as well, the inner city (for the king or the prestige of the time) is surrounded on all sides behind by beautiful mountains- perhaps a strategic move to build the city in such a location- where attack was least possible. There is also the highest point which would have acted as the watch point/tower for seeing the land beyond- located way above the palace’s height on the same hill. I could not reach till there for I had time constraints but I could explore the palace in length and also get some photos of the scenery and landscape of the expanse- very pretty indeed.
The location of bangarh is not close to any major cities of Rajasthan- it is in the pretty rural portrait of the royal land and the mighty aura of the desert envelops everything in its path in this region and the entire location looks haunted by day and most certainly by night and also enchanting or bewitched. An entire ruined abandoned city in the middle of such a landscape is pretty and eye catching to say the least.
I went during a local state conflict and hence found reaching this location harder than usual, had to change roads and even take the village roads to reach this place which otherwise is very well linked by major roads- but the ongoing gujjar reservation or Arakshan as its called had caused major standstill during this time, we found even getting petrol to be an almost impossible task as all the major roads were blocked and hence no sort of road or rail movement was taking place inter/intra state.
The Shiva temple built near the central city fountain is very peaceful and inspiring, I don’t know how it would look after dark but the central linga- made most probably in marble (white color) looked somewhat powerful, though it was almost an abandoned temple with little or no worship taking place.
The place is a cool and relaxing visit; if you choose to live within the sariska sanctuary with many resorts offering the lap of luxury, also alwar is another good option as the nearest biggest town with its own set of tourist locales to visit (i chose to stay in alwar as I am accoustmed to the place- and wanted to visit the location again)
Hope everyone has a happy travelling year ahead, exploring uninhibitedly and with awe.
Peace

God Sends Death

We think of ourselves, true and naive; good and absolute; not realizing that what we are and do is of no consequence. The earth beneath our feet shifts and so do we; the skies above tremble and pass and so shall we... The greatest veil we adorn is one of ignorance towards the truly certain. That god sends death; and beckons us inconsequential to be free...

Why do we give special consideration towards children? Have you asked; we exclude them from death and suffering, care for them in the most adverse of conditions, is it because that we consider them incapable of taking care of themselves; or that their true innocence be safeguarded. That is the one thing which adults do not possess is it not?
What if you knew Hitler or any other tyrant this world has seen as a child, of course he/she is innocent, and you will try to see hope in them, but at what cost? At the cost of over 6 million other children and people dead? Would you have the compassion to breast feed and cuddle the child tyrant so that they could grow up and destroy the rest of humanity or the forests or the earth itself?
Think hard and fast; the child is no more worth the effort to protect and love, for you know when they will grow up, the chances of them becoming good are not just as attractive for them as being way bad.
Today when I saw a child walking alongside his mother, I thought; no matter what creed or race or gender; we view children with awe and love; would it tantamount to anything good; if you loved a child hitler who would grow up to kill indiscriminately....
Who knows where the next seed of hate and despair is planted; in which child's heart, in which child's mind. Why pray and care for what you could not be sure of. Isn't that what human civilization teaches us children in the first place.
There is something to be sure of; the imminence of death, It prays your side, waiting for the night and grimacing as the onslaught of age and decay begin. Be wary of death, for it is the only certainty that god sends down, not even a child's innocence is comparable to the mighty irrevocableness that time and death havoc upon all!

The times were different before, the gods sent death through the rats; the plague entering your tract and eating you up whole.. killing millions, rotting dumped on pits and holes and not one left to burn them away; The stench rose over the continents whole; A sort of signal... sent by man to outer space- look at the great human condition, we die as the rats live. We are the fore bringers of death certain ~
The gods send death through the atom, with a fragile man's thumb on the button; the twin bombs fall to different towns, the "little boy" and the "fat man" fall from the skies, impending doom within a sqare foot (of uranium and the like). The cities lie nuked. The bodies do not need to be burnt this time around; man already took care of his fellow man (a human gesture indeed, how can it be mistaken!)... In a hope of for the "greater good". He incessantly kills the larger good. All ways

God sent his arch angel Lucifer for the greater good, and the myth got twisted and replaced. He fell to the ground and his wings got clipped and he became the anti-christ for so many innocent heretics to follow. The twisted imagination of this feeble creature that is man; wrecked havoc, bringing the innovative and the creative to the cross, culling them without the faintest notion of a cause. The men in robes called it the "cleansing"; burning down the witches and heretics and leaving millions more to be liberated in the false hope that something good would come out from the stinking death that is man (who thought different could be good)

There came a time when you thought that peace was a dream; a sign of the stopping of the barrage of artillery or the echoes of the last shell gone wrong. There was a time when you thought that the land without land mines and the skies without skud missiles to be a dream. The dream is here. The dream is right now, blowing shell shocked; without limbs and burnt out. It is abysmal what you will do to wear your precious diamond on your finger and acquire it at whatever cost it may take; what you will do to impinge your ideology on others who refuse to take it. It is pathetic how we all can live with ourselves when the rest of us are dying every second; what do we have to thank ourselves for? A biased and timely fate! Its worst to give death a bad name, when we all love to indulge in it; and hey; it makes no difference whether we accept this or not, our violent ogre natures is what we think of as our saving grace. (it really isn't a play with words, its the truth, the condition of the human race)

God sent death and misery, its all a lie; there is no god. Much less someone external to this apathetic human race that has caused our present state of affairs. It is us, all of us, and all of us who are partakers of our finest product till date.
Death has never taken a back seat here, nor shall it. The future is bleak as the false hope we give ourselves shall fade and it is extremely comforting at the same time, for it will bring upon neon clouds of demise. The great end of our times, beckons and cries. Lets not bid her an impolite goodbye.

Peace (oh not the hope again!)

Out of the world-III

The other day I was walking on the side of the road; I am extremely careful when I walk on main roads (as generally I am listening to music on the pod and I don't hear any outside noises), but this time I was actually without ear-phones plugged in, and was minding my distance from the centre of the road.
This did not make any difference to a maniac woman driver who ploughed me down in her toyota carolla without any notice rhyme or reason. She didn’t hold any personal grudge towards me I suppose, after all I had not seen her ever before. She just drove up my arse so fast that I did not have the faintest idea of what happened (or rather what ‘hit’ me). I got bumped and due to the powerful impact (the lady was driving at a potent speed of over 40kmph says my ass still through sporadic hints of excruciating pain); I got flung a near feet or two away on the road and the lady had the courtesy to hit the brake pedal at least by then so not to run over me a second time. I fell face first onto the tarmac, and got up instantly in a daze. I just did not understand what had happened in that fraction of a second; it felt like a powerful slap on my behind from god (pretty funny). I turned around and understood the situation alas! The woman took her own sweet time to get off her car, I yelled but one thing to her; ‘Are you drunk?’
I repeated it atleast once more, she was flustered, and probably in fear that i would hit her beyond any chances of mercy (oh how i wish that would be). she replied ‘ No , No My foot slipped, My foot slipped, I am sorry). That was a lie, neither did her foot slip nor was she sorry; she looked like one of those delhiites who talk incessantly on their phone while driving their businessman daddy’s car. They dont take a drivers license seriously and the repercussions of driving their cars over other people; even when they do exactly that
I was very angry, fuming. I remained quiet. I looked down; didn’t even look at the girl’s face. i wanted to disappear, away from these people, these inane acidic pathetic bastards, who didn’t care enough even to be vigilant while driving a powerful machine.
I have never been hit before a vehicle, i always am very careful; and after all I have to be, this is delhi and there are enough maniacs born in their rich daddy's lap to be brought up like the cunts that they are just to be given a big ass vehicle on their 18th birthday (according to the drivers licences; while their real age would border closer to puberty- both of the body and mind). And then one fine day they decide that looking in front while driving their car was not really a priority; or even a necessity.
I just walked away, she kept asking me from behind, I am sorry, can I drop you somewhere. I wanted to drop her into an abyss. I had no need to be hit by a person that day or any other. especially for no fault of mine. The incident/experience spoilt a perfectly spoilt day even more. I felt the hand of doom whacking my ass over and over. All the time laughing and saying my foot slipped
I learnt through the experience, and reaffirmed that women are really no good when it comes to handling a vehicle or any other machinery (even phones, computers etc). They are supposed to be less rash then the men when it comes to handling cars, but i really did not see any hint of that being true either. They are equally if not more foolish and careless when it comes to driving their corollas in their pencil heels (oh yes she was wearing heels driving and hence I presume her foot slipped).
The presumption that the world is a decent place filled with people who are basically kind hearted and good natured was once again banished from my mind for a very long time. Such people, incidents and experiences just go ahead to reaffirm that people (and people in india) are morons, fools and filled with some sort of contempt. We all should be shot dead at point blank range.
Yes we all belong not to here, but to some distant corner of outer space…
(and yes, the story continues further……..)

Out of the World- II

We are all living and striving for ourselves; The betterment of our lives in terms of monetary and physical comforts and then once achieving that; struggling for the betterment of our minds and finally our own souls. Its a long and arduous route; and by the end of it.. each one of us is so tired that we require and eternal rest in a grave or on a funeral pyre.
We never look at what it is to help another, to live for another, to strive and struggle for the betterment of another’s life. I too like most of you belong to this category of people (or personal behaviour) which looks only at our self as a source for comfort.
For many their satisfaction and comfort (physical or otherwise) comes from the feeling of helping another; making another feel or be better for their lives. This is not quite right…. I meant making another child feel or live better.
Children are truly out of this world. Their imagination and hearts are so huge. Their understanding of simple issues which us adults tend to ignore or look past is comprehensive. They are without guilt or shame. they can be taught anything and they can interpret what they have learnt with originality. This is why i adore kids, not the crying cribbing kinds; but rather the learning smiling and playful kinds.
Our HR class had an opportunity to visit various NGO’s thanks to our awesome social cell, composed of guys who are sincere and want to do something to help others and taking the right initiatives for such thankless goals too!
There are many many NGO’s in this country operating without name or recognition for improving the conditions of various sections of society without much funds from anyone. All they have at times is will and determination and hope of intangible rewards like a smile or love from the eyes of a doe-eyed child.
Life is holy and its perfection in action; its empathy and the feeling of elation of being able to connect to another life form as one. Without any distinction or ego hassles. Many people though don’t see this, and they run past in their attempts to just make it better for themselves.
Our group visited a little girl’s ngo in chattarpur area next to the temple. The village is like many others in Delhi; its unsanitary, filled with people without jobs and rampant with social evils like drinking; drugs and discrimination towards the girl child. There is poverty and social inequity and the root cause of this is lack of education.
The children whom we interacted with briefly over a 2 hour period were aged between 10-15. All of them went to school *thankfully!* and were very very smart from the first go! Many were outspoken and some preferred to be quiet; and all of us interacted whole heartedly to listen more than speak. For a child’s wisdom is something us adults have to learn from them! The girls understood why education and independence is important to their lives and what the consequence of not learning like other children could be. They also knew that rampant causes of poverty and abuse in villages like theirs was a consequence of the men getting violent or not going out to get work for their family. They also clearly knew how much a woman does (like their mothers) for a family and how under valued such a job is in the eyes of society.
We also held a little painting competition for them; and the group (consisting of some 20 odd girls) could create out of their imagination such artistic designs, that it left all of us dumbfounded in awe! Such celebration in the hearts and minds of those who are in youth, for verily youth and innocence are the only ways that this cruel heartless world could regain some of its pristine beauty.
I was particularly impressed with a child called lakshmi yars, who was I guess in 7-8th standard at this time. She had a deep thoughtful aura about herself, she was clearly responsible for more siblings in the house and perhaps had to do some house chores alongside her studies as well. She understood that guys dont work and spend most of their times in loafing about (something very abundant in indian villages and indian culture itself). But she accepted this and wanted to do something to make her family and her name better, What a selfless goal for a child. A child is one person who could be selfish- ask more for themselves and just themselves, and they would be right in getting it too, but these children living in villages wanted to do something good for their families, they wanted to study and earn a honest living so that they wouldn’t have to be in the position that they were currently in. This realization so crucial and critical for anyone wanting to change their lives- was so clearly present in these little kids (girls). I was in awe of god’s miracles in the form of the child. I truly was in silent celebration that i could find even now; in today’s world- people nay! children who were truly befitting the kingdom of heaven!
Yes the eyes and laughter of a child are something out of this world. they dont belong in the vile desecrated atmosphere which us adults make in this so called society, and children are not worthy of being in a world where love peace and chance for living in entirety are not possible.
I am amidst people who more often than not discuss their own personal gains at any and all costs. They want something for themselves not knowing what that something is, or at what costs it would becomes theirs. People who i interact with are prospective owners. They want to own something and everything which comes their way… But they could never own their own hearts and minds to liberate the same.
Children don't own or possess much, but they are in supreme control over their hearts. Their innocence ripples through to the most beaten bruised souls in this world. They remain the pillars of our society., In this place where evil and hatred pounces in every alleyway; every corner….. Children remind us of a better place; perhaps this better place is after all a place out of this wretched mean world!
Peace
(and the story unfolds further….)

Out of this World - I

I have lived in this stinking hole for time undefined, vile and putrid. Decay is fast imminent, I am sick of people caring about this body. And people stalking this body for their sickly gains. Its just an auxiliary system; and the power levels are just dropping…
The whole world is run by humans, and they dont know what the fuck they are running towards or away from. I am sick of systems of control and those which seek to control YOU>
Its just one step from doom, another step in the stairway upwards to that room. Its a kind warning from within; what you glorified and missed out is the sweet greed and gluttony of this pathetic race. No you may not save your face; anymore
The body stinks when it burns on the pyre. It reeks unholy when its alive. Personal motive gives away to the missing edge. That what is called ‘compassion’ and ‘love’ in this terrible day and age….
Where is no more? When is this awful game gonna get over? Its just a facade. An impending doom…. envisaged
The world doesn't deserve this body, and so it shall be sent out to space. Where it can look to find another home worthy of the wrath and hate that it so quickly spews. So frequently and without a single rhyme or reason sound…..
Sick of doldrums and loopholes in the machine. The false notions of purity and integrity. The sell out is the one who gets his profit tomorrow noon. There is no other explanation and the gods conspire; conspire to take over our minds. Till the mind is savaged by false notions of something good becoming from this rotting iron maiden dressed up to its fateful place in a grave or a burning funeral pyre.
You slave, and they will pay you; In gold and damsels, You speak and they shall cut your tongues half in size. If you choose to better yourself. There is no place left for you here; you belong to outer space.
You cannot change your nature. Your nature is of the parasitic virus. Intune with the stinking rotting corpse of mother nature. You are yester year’s creature. Your day of judgement passes and you will be out helping another.Why oh Why everyone asks while they laugh!
There is simply no use for a body like you.
Burn and be gone. the ghost of winter past; your misery and torture abound haunts these hearts no more. For these hearts are as dead as this cold vaccum of dark un bound outer space.
Away from the earth which gave birth to the devil. The devil which seeks venom in the form of money and vengeance. In the eyes of duality and partiality. In the end there is no worth to the sweat and toil; oh did I forget you fogged up when you said (your) truth would be the winner in gold?  Your honest life the base for fortunes untold?
In spite of your earthly treasures, you dig within your soul. Not a single ounce of worthiness. Yet you can go ahead and rule this world. The body is dead. Eaten by vermin like the one’s in your head. You won; and everyone else lost. And the days of never ending hell are back again., at all costs……
Welcome to the seasons within the inferno; where its warm and cold. Its all so simple when the plan unfolds. What you seek is what they got. What they got is what you sold. Welcome to the very beautiful end of your world. Celebrate in the coffin embarked forever more towards outer space.
The story unfolds……
(Part 2 follows)

The Flooded Heart&Upward Transit(way old)

Converted roughly from diary to blog (wont make sense till you enter my head)

Something in a white blue dream, for the one who would liberate me is not me but in turn is my self.
I run away from what I was yesterday, through and through I search the skies for a glimpse of the majesty which I need to find still… Night melts into burning day and I grow old worn out and decayed.
In my youth I left it all behind, all that was sacred profane or even divine. Now it seeks to be with me once more. How long this fight shall be? I just could not know….
Sometimes I feel blessed or even a bit elated, that my life reflected something simple… far from being planned or thought about. Just a small experience of a wonderful divination
These moments are all the cause for the flooding of my heart. An outpouring of joy which remains unnoticed to all. The fire moves now moves inwards and not outwards. It burns my cells and tissues, It draws the power from the internal fire, It burns everything down to the earth. It draws drive from the wind, and draws control from the stable water. Its movements is planned ether. It looks minute and yet its the size of a million suns, Its brilliance unparalleled.
Molten Lava is the one mouth and insanity remains always the other mouth. Its awkward assuredly but its firmly required.
The Upward Spiral/Transit:

The creation spirals downwards and hence the evolutionary movement is always upwards both in metaphysical and technical reality of a sense. The eternity is spent moving towards the state which is unparalleled. The state which is the true mother of all dichotomies and contradictions. Towards the enlightenment, the soul seeks its own creator. Its own mother… The molten sheath pours finally towards the first centre. The chakra of becoming…
There was intrinsic silence in the soul of the moon today as if the skies had cleared up so that she would speak, But she did… only to those who listened to her.
There is ecstatic fervour/flavour moving alongside the energy now. Some thought it was the wind which made her move, but did you know; the wind too radiated with her psychedelic colors.
Certainly the humans spoke, but never in the language which I could understand, but in an entirely different tone; their love was for something else. Sometimes I feel that the colors in this great world are too much for me. I wanted a bit of darkness, perhaps therefore causing such darkness to appear.
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Winds which remain tall, create an amazing sense in the alley ways of demise. They dont exist anywhere but in the shadow of our own souls.
Do you know what the soul is?
You could feel it when your skin itches deep from deep writhing in pain but you dont know how to remove the itch. As if there was no itch to begin with.
It is when reality cannot be described. Not because the real is not present. But there is no perceiver. The soul cannot be known; its just that my friend. Just that.
The words which are spoken or written are the soul too. The emotions and reactions are the soul. Even the soul is the Soul!
All selfish motivations are truly the soul.

Shri Mahavidyas: Chinnamastika

The life everywhere is one. It is one for it is bonded by the life force. The life force (prana) is the breadth. The breadth blends with blood. The blood is the elixir; sustaining and propagating life.
The Senses wander. The illusion deepens, and lo! my mother arrives, She is brighter than light. She is stronger than will. She looks over in compassion, and cuts of her own head.
I am fed the blood of my mother, outpouring after outpouring of life sustaining blood pours and gushes out from her decapitated body, it is the pure life sustaining power that I was devoid of in the first place!
Chinnamastika is the fury, she is the storm. She is annihilation of desire and all that is wrong. She steps forth to protect those who have given themselves up to her. She is the true mother who feeds her devotees at the cost of her own self!
She holds her pristine head in her own hands; and her other hands holding the cleaver which releases one from the illusion and bondage of the mundane. She blesses all with the boon of everlasting life and power. She protects all those who have given their faiths over to the cosmic mother.
Chinnamastika pours forth three streams of blood. Its esoteric interpretation. The three streams represent the three major etheric nerves coiled around and inside the human spine. The Ida; Pingala; Sushmana.
These are the true channels that carry energy, power and the will to life in the body. The center springs forth from the mother herself. In the form of the nucleas- she is kundalini mata. Where everything begins; coiled around the svyambu linga 3 and a half times. This is mother benign and as she springs forth and upwards, she becomes the strength beyond measure kinetic energy- Ma Chinnamastika!
Chinnamastika lies above the sexual union of kama and rati. They copulate and spread their energy within two bodies – the using of sexual energy to convert it to true spiritual power- Ojas
She is both the giver of life, and taker of life as well. She is strength and force of the abstract giving itself to life. The spiritual energy which coils and toils and descends to create man. Then only to ascend and unite to destroy all that has been created. She is the example and metaphor of the cycle which is Life and death.
She is prayed to before war, confrontation and death. She is angry, and she will kill herself before she kills us all. What a daunting and dangerous iconography. What will required to worship and pray to such a deity!
She feeds Dakini and Varnini, who are hungry for life. She is compassionate in her anger, she feeds herself to give to her devotees. She will consume herself within us (our own bodies), to feed true life in every warrior who undertakes the process of self actualization and realization.
She is redder than a thousand burning suns, she is covered in her own blood too, her decapitated head looks hauntingly at our souls, piercing ignorance and drowning it in an unending hole.

Chinnamatika Yantra (downward pointing triangle in red hue)

She keeps poise par excellence, her leg crushing lust and burning the ignorance of separation from paramatan. She has snakes as necklaces. She has skull caps as ornamentation; My mother is fierce, with fangs and lolling tongue. Her decapitated head laughs and roars at man’s ignorance. At man’s futile efforts to elude death and true life. Her sight will redeem those who can see her!
She breeds the spirit of bravery and courage. She is the true warriors goddess. Present in all places where there is fear, death, malignant energy and demise. She feeds on dark energy untold, only to convert it to the life energy blood and spew it forward towards her devotees.
She is the self sacrifice which heroes undertake. She is the caring loving mother to her devotees, she is the energy untold. She is the interconnected cycle renewing irrespective of space and time
She is the epitome of left handed worship, which requires extreme vigil and discrimination at all times by the warrior. She is the mother of vama marga
She will cure all maladies related to blood and body. She will restore vigour and virility. She is symbol of continuous sexual union. She is the fountain of Soma. She is the fountain of Ojas. She is eternal Life. She is eternal Death

Pray in silence, Pray sincerely to the definition of sacrifice. To mother who cares like no other; Pray and you will be saved. Pray and meditate and you will also be decapitated as her.
Raise your glasses, filled with the holy elixir which is blood. Your Blood.
Save it till the time is ripe. The night is holy. Bathe now; In your life force.
Renew and Restart. Life becoming the longing night spreading death revisiting itself to eternal Life!
peace