Monday, June 14, 2010

Kali Dasa

Is the incense still burning, the smell overpowers the angelic within thee. Get up matted god of ash; your night is beginning…. The wolves howl and the wind a constant blow to the chest. On top of kailash; the stars so close reflect the other side.

Why are you alone? Oh jatadhari. What happened to your kingdom and mansions? Your servants and worldly glory… did you abandon those for something fruitful or useless? Sage and Sound, your lips go round and round, licking the last pull of the holy smoke abound. Shiva oh Master natha why have you let yourself go to such a life?

Clothed in the skin of the tiger. Wearing the fruits of the rudraksha tree, covered in the ash remains of the men who lived once… where has your sanity been? There is no question that you are lost; there is no reason why it must be so.. why cant you live like the others oh third eyed immortal, in householders squabble and the pains of everyday life?

Your trident swirls not with the harsh cold winds. The broken down dhamaru sways and drums like my heartbeat. As the vultures crowd around our head, we seem to be headed towards a subtle

In times of sorrow, men would seek solace from you, in return you ask not anything? Is this foolishness in times of deceit? Where did your mind roam…. In the valley of death? The place you call home.

Sitting alone under the banyan, with fire tongs by your side; sitting in turiya day and night without a soul for company ever in sight. Why such a handsome man like you be alone? Why not make merry in the world of pleasures unknown? Is there someone you wait for beggar master? Is there someone out there for you too…..

Shiva rose; The natha spoke; without a single expression on the body, The voice in my head awoke and croaked

“Such is the effect of waning days; the earth becomes somber and old and the sky dazzles like gold with the dazzling shine of the solar orb. Yet Man still wanders and ponders why he is born and why he must die… without answers sooner rather than later; life seems a great big lie. “

What hence to do I ask, the silent natha. There is no way out when you are born; than to die. Once living, the family and friends pile on and the concerns of the householder seem to sustain. There is no joy once you are born; there is nothing to hold on… but what of yourself? You seem morose none the less oh matter hair master; Your way of life cannot hold joy either; I feel. You seem lost and dazed, escaping life’s perennial haze… You rub ash on your self; why in such craze-ness do you delve? You silent mauni night and day; why don’t you go out grab a woman for yourself and make hay?

Shiva opens his eyes (the human eyes); he looks surprised, he smiles and peers at my fragile frame, he points towards his heart and then mine…

His telepathy through another corner in my mind, speaking voices loud and unkind; The ash master laughs over and over, and then silence deafens everything and everywhere.

“ Child, you are too harsh; the world has been unkind, you speak in absolutes; while you do not understand what you seek. Unconditioned and Unlearnt I am. Clothed in the burnt rubble of what was to be… you shall see kindred spirit; that without my beloved parvati, I too would be ash waiting to be dissolved in the holy sea”

Shiva paused not;

“Oh mother; Oh mother, your child calls you in distress, Lover of kula and kaula; your presence is needed! When your laugh and play out loud, your mother sleeps sound… when you cry and weep; resonate in distress.. mother divine wakes up for her to bless… maya and prakrti, money and power, your play just becomes too confusing for the child in me to handle!”

I am at peace with nothing to lose.. looking at shiva; as he looks on to his muse.

“Deep within you and I; stays my love of my life. She is the divine feminine; She is maha-maya, the sri yantra existing before time. I am not away from my woman you see child; for she won’t let me back into the world which you seek. She wills me to stay atop Kailas, away from the world she created to destroy!”

“I am shiva; the dasa of my lover kali. She is all there is. In darkness of the unborn universe, and the bright destruction ending all that is known and done; what is the world sans mother, I would never like to see”

“At nights when you are blind child; she comes and dances and plays atop my body. I am speechless as her love overpowers me. Lolling her tongue in frenzy, she is what the epitome of power to you will look like to be. Don’t mistake; she is here to establish your faith and fate in her; through me”

I sit mesmerized looking at the beggars pose. His repose unmistakably troubling. His silence ever more superior. His eyes never ever sober. His aura overpowering completely.

There must be crucifixion, there must be release. Without either; it seems all to falter and fall apart….

“Shiva is not the body. Shiva is not the eye. He is she and without her He will fall apart. Shiva is the lover of Kali; the bestower of grace. Shiva will be Shiva when mother kali awakens from the base.. The tower of fire, columns multiple rising higher into the head, fangs wide open; mother oh mother take me over to become the phoenix rising from the ashes; rising to the thousand petaled lotus; union of lovers, on the tower. Many days and nights Shiva spent envisioning this divine power!”

“Salute Goddess, thousand manifold times to your feet, when in trouble look within and you will see her piercing gaze, Kali is my mother. Kali is my beloved. Kali is my lover, Kali is my savior. Verily Kali is all I have, need or want. Kali chose me. And my days wandering aimlessly wondering are over. They are finally over!”

I look no more to shiva, still sitting under the enlightened tree. I understand why he is so sure of living a nomadic life of begging so care free. I would never know why my mother did not choose me……

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