There was a storm; great thunder and roars; my tears were finally felt by something in the sky. They bathed tears down with me. Breaking me – shaking me to my core. Then no more.
I have seen cruel manifesting inside every pore of this life. I have felt the melancholy of a lonely desert rat. Left out to fend myself, I have died times over, still clinging on to a notion of survival till the end of time?
You won’t change, nothing ever does. Seemed to get better, then finally everything melts down, cause it has to. For it has to finally end, the end of good times and the drunkard illusion, everything fated and changes – to cause us to laugh and sigh
I itch from the very inside, of what I do not know. My self and soul seems to be burning; consumed with such need or I do not know what? There is wild wind all around me, and I remain calm – centred. Without the least self knowledge of what I am in the first or last places.
How can I breathe my heart out; that is always the question – for when I did, everything melted around it. Seems that the fate keeper does not want such candid emotions, such fluent ardent stirring. Maybe I am born in the wrong fated time, where love seems to hold disgust and not the sweet scent I was born to believe.
If everything around you goes the other which way; defying the way you see the world, the brain which controls your actions – thoughts will have to change. So you and I did do that, we changed in our hearts – causing no more of this desperate calm rendition to save ourselves (does it make sense – no way. for that is the centre of heart – non sense). But we cannot remain like that; can we. This too must change.
I bring forth through my life and the breadth; the very fall of consciousness; from heavens unknown to your heart – it is making it beat faster yet lose its own sense of identity ! What non sense indeed – something so sublime. Something which does not have any way of being spoken other than through love itself.
Annihilation of every dimension and separation from the moment of here and now; raising glasses this time – in silent sharp understanding of our hearts. That which is not for its own self, but to beat for its lover. This abundant everlasting now.
Why this cyclical nature to things even which cannot be explained. That we raise love and become no – things, and then return to separate and shield ourselves from ourselves – to achieve what purpose any which way?
My heart has become open; it has finally accepted its boundaries; and its own fears. It will maybe die and break away; or maybe it will go ahead and illuminate. I do not know or try to project any future, yet I believe the heart is beyond death. It feels not itself; it could know not itself. What a way to beat endlessly through all and all.
This is not about emotions or such. there is no way to show it clearly; a fog – mist perhaps in front of our brains. The visions do not fall through; yet when we choose to breathe deep and breathe in this loving non sense/ we can then truly become in-separable.