Stopping the World

something from long time back... (found it in my notes)

For a long time this sentence rang in my head without having a visible impact on what it means to the I. perhaps nothing. The sentence came from a book. Way many books which I read.

This is the method for the perfect and silent escape. To escape from here without touching the world. Touching it lightly so none can smell your presence . The head kept high towards your home.

You shall surely stop.

The world.

The light and night make up the world in its motion. But not for the hunter, the kill is always there. Not dependent on this or the next world.

Shine and flow in this world within the frames and between them. Not realizing why you are here you will spend time in servitude.

Seek freedom and then with effort you shall realize that you are the reason that the effort has failed. That you are the demise of your freedom.

Hum the single word that is the ever bliss. The venerable which lies in the closet which is our heart.

Set it free in wilderness and solitude. It shall show the path. That you are the key to the misery. To the slavery and the bondage.

And then as you dance to the trance. The mindless will call you in various planes. Don’t be deceived. The silence is not as it seems. It holds many dark powers. Powers which are not for you. For they ensure your bondage. Do you still want bondage?

So dance free, the snake which you are wants to dance. Cant you see? Its eyes are closed. Its fangs open in veneration to the sky. That is where you belong. To the sky o great one. That is where we have to return to.

Sun is out and you want to go back home. But the sounds of the trance are still in your head. And the wolves are howling yet. Not concerned with the sunshine above. Darkness is within and without in this dense forest which is our home.

The path taken back to the talkative and the mundane is very fierce. Full of thorns and fiercer yet heat. Why do you want to walk back to what is not pleasant? Do you not realize there are many there already who want to appease themselves with the city of the mundane. The food and the wine and the sleep and the sex and the intoxication and the forgetfulness.

Yes the forgetfulness. It is all around in the city of the mundane. Suffocates the spirit until it yields and forgets itself . it forgets to fly and to be.

It forgets to walk and to be in compassion.

So why are you interested venerable snake? What holds so much interest in the city of the mundane? The sense pleasures are for the lucky who make the choice in those fields. You are not so gifted to use them so well. It is for you to be lame and blind and dumb and deaf to the world. Not literally snake. For that is sheer stupidity. You have to be such so the world is stopped. And I would think that you do realize that, that is the path and the goal for you oh master of Dance.

The dance is very important o foolish pig. It shall set enlightenment upon your soul. It shall make you a creature of betterment in this forsaken time. It shall make you like the master «i√Â.

The path of the Tao is such. It takes you on the wild side. It makes you more of the animal which you are. The spiritual animal mind you. Some are tigers and lions . some are snakes and wolves. Some are spiders and some are elephants. There are many who are not animals. They are plants. Or trees. They are wiser than most of the other hunters.

For aren’t plants the source of silent compassion on this world?

Multitudes of butterflies on my head. Of all colors and sizes. With an active energy. Full of life. I am lying on grass. In the Himalayan range. My head is not present. I am not burdened anymore. Peace is in the mountain air. The sky isn’t clear. Just the way I like it. I want it to rain its heart out. The wind starts up furiously. To swipe my soul away. Once more perhaps. Life is no more than this dream to me. Sometimes frightened by the possibility of death, mostly seeking that wave. That wind which will set me free.

Freedom is important, is it not? Seeking it can be tiresome. But I will tell you the key for gaining it. Its not in the process of seeking . its rather in the art of removing the seeking. It is about the content ness which happens from inside you and I which shall deliver us freedom. Freedom is never present in the crowd . it is only tasted and savored in the sense of alone ness. Can you grasp that. You want freedom young child? Then you shall seek it and find it alone. And then gift it to the ‘others’.

Eye of the Storm

A certainty is out to get me. Sometimes preceding with a lot of uncertainties.

A shiny new sickle is in my hands, wet with the fresh rain water on its handle and surface, rain never ending , never ceasing forever near these terrible seas.

It rained here all night and for nights on end. But today the sun shines intermittent of the black clouds, somehow piercing from the corners of these thundering giants to give a little taste of fresh sunshine. The sands have been tightened and held close of all the rain.

I walk towards the ancient summit. It is called netratara. Atleast that is what the ancients used to call the place. It cannot be mistaken or go unnoticed. Lying deep within jungle vines and think forests where even sunlight is afraid to go. Distances generally go unrecognized by me, for am more engrossed in the path, where each direction might take me, how a path winds, meanders to another path. This is more interesting to my feeble brain than mere calculation of distance. But I would have it that to reach netra tara from the coast where I put up takes me more than one and half days.

It is a place un explored. Pristine beauty, to a person who is not accustomed to seeing it in his or her day to day existence. I have no particular insight to why the mountain is named such. All that I know from the fisher men who I habit with is that there is a temple, a ruin. A small yet colossal ruin. A power place.

I have taken patience with the oceans, and they have treated with equal kindness. When one learns about nature. Including about ones self, there is patience which must be taken of utmost importance. Nothing in nature takes place “fast” everything takes only time, nothing else and everything gives everything equally well.

Having spent a decade in human existence in contemplation of my goddess tara with the oceans, I have mastered patience with the terrible seas. They are not a part of the nature of this soul and this soul a part and parcel of them. I set out near netra tara once a month, trod ding carefully and slowly seeing all the encumbering paths which might lead up to her. Never is a route been found. Never anyone who dared to go near the divine hill, standing at the face of what breaks. She has stood resolute like a light house for the damned. For the restless. For the seekers. For the souls who yearn for the heart off the beloved.

A sinking feeling and then a quick rise. Every tree houses within itself a million lives ney! More infinitely more. I look at all the parts of these magnificent beings. They tower, adapted to the saline water which they receive in plenty, the trees near the coast apart from the palms, tower. Further inside, the jungle growth starts up in parts. Here the water is pure fresh; without the salt which even I have got accustomed to.

Women from the little habitat which I reside in the periphery come here to clean the clothes and fill water in their little buckets and take them back.. Sometimes the little chores though demanding are the most fulfilling. Perhaps when we see that all the work which we are to do in this life, is nothing consequential or important or any such garbage, then we might do it best.

The night is half filled with the moon on the periphery. And I have gone as far as I can go in the jungle. I am resolute. I have taken my time to yearn for my love. For the becoming to become and unbecoming. She has not come. She has hid. She has watched in silence, the suffering that her lover has endured. The death which comes on every moment in the absence of her. The meaningless existence in the lack of heart of the beloved.

I must reach Netra Tara. The eye of Tara. The eye of divinity. The eye of the Storm.

The Musing: Tara Thy Grace!

Part IV The Snowflakes of Eternity; The never before seen Winter: The Night

Amongst Shadows so soft ;we find ourselves…

We walk on the edges of losing ourselves, Night is clear. The moon is complete and rests placid in the great blue sky. She in her drunken beauty shrouds any and all in the sky. She lies in the violent seas on the western coast. As we watch together; Her alter self (her reflection) moves like a brazen belly dancer on the ripples so ferocious. All in passion pulled to the sky. The waves cry in separation;

I too feel ripples from within myself, as I am pulled to the luna who rests so calm on my shoulders. So free; dreaming and dreaming sweet. In this moment amongst shadows so soft… we find ourselves as one.

Suddenly tara; you get up; whispering in my ear… ‘So Love, you think You have understood what it is that is Mine? …. ‘

There is a little wicked smile on your childlike face, and you turn and run on the shore away, The moon up makes for light and shadow to play like puppets on your body.

You glisten.

You effortlessly delight.

You run on the waves drenching your feet

Cool sea breeze grips me tight

Your hair dazzles

as you run out of my sight.

There is a cove here on this virgin beach. You have come here since your childhood. Seeking to be alone away from the slight of hand which makes the world so cruel. So needless and so artificial.

You kept your mercy here. Safe. You kept your self hidden here (so I imagine). But as I move forward. I choose to know more. I choose to see more.

I walk towards your inner recess of peace seeing but your footprints in the sand. You are no where to be seen.

There is a sound soothing inside. Enough moonlight to see in moments which matter

You play a conch soft. You make it sing. It makes me dive deep.

You put it aside; and you speak ‘There can be but one sound; one moment; one choice on a night such as this. One moon; One cove; One shore; One great bountiful core… There is not enough space for two love. There is not enough space for two’

I sit embracing you. You embraced a fool; a servant of thine. Effortless it is now to me. Tara seems undivided. Tara is whole. You have reminded the world of an outpouring of a moment. You have reminded me of the outpouring of innocence. Of One great Love.

The High Tide reaches peak tonight. The water enters the cove; comes closer to our bodies inter twined; immerses us completely. Shakes us ; drowns us.

But we are already immersed.

In an outpouring of infinite Light. Of unity which immerses itself. 

The Musing : Tara my Saviour!

Part III Silent Prayers of Changing Autumn: The Evening / Twilight

Life is at great stretches

Series of nothingness repeated

Moments of celebration

Bestow wisdom; love

Moments such as these

Can never return; never be

Be like a distant dream

Faltering and falling

Finding a center within thee

These silent prayers of autumn

Have shown me your vision, it seems.

The sunset at the distant corners make the great desert more haunting; the entire solemn land of Girnar wears ochre robes. Sitting on small hilltop, contemplating the shape shift of the sand dunes. Once so great now reduced once more to sand. Once more to be risen near the sky. Changes within myself such it is. Everything is broken and dancing in flames! But my center has remained constant. Never shape shifted. Only grown without limits..

The love which I hold for you in the palm of my hand is like sand. Worth nothing in this world. But it shines from one mesmerizing silicon crystal to the next.

At the distance I hear drums. As twilight grows. The beats become closer. They are the sound of my heart beating. Beating oh my love for thee. No one else could there be. Words dumbfound. Thoughts repeat. But my being grows ever more in your presence,  In your silence oh goddess, savior of my broken soul; wind of the desert unbound. Thou, who keeps this servant at her feet!

The trumpets and beats peak. The echo in my soul. Hand grips my shoulder firm. Before I look around you are in front. Is this a mirage? Water to the dying man. The great life teasing at a mans last moment in separation for eternity??

Most profound as I drop to my knees and I notice the enigma of your golden center. thy navel. The center of the world as wise speak. As the winds howl all around us. We are caught inside a whirlpool. And your body trembles ever so lightly. Every so gently as the stars on your navel come alive. Most profound I must say!

The sand covers our bodies intertwined. Kept alive in this twilight moment. Your gentle vision peaks to the skies above and Lo! You make me feel alive. You spread your wings angel. But I wont let you go, not this time. Not this time.

A higher Love.

A gentle touch,

Spreads to dissolve me.

Somewhere in this cosmos we are put

But we are put exactly where we need to be. We choose to be!

Tender kiss of my lover. A Love which keeps eternity .

Saints, Your redemption is stolen

She lies beside me, held in my hands. In each and every speck of this holy sand!

We need not speak. We need not think. Apart

We are one. In purity. In laughter. In a stolen glance. In darkness. In shining Jyoti.

 Timeless is this play; Timeless partners in this play. Left alone and we try to stray.. So I pour wine down your neck ; caress your back, it leaves me with more to crave. No need for satisfaction today. I choose/want/need/demand for more of you as twilight is complete. Glistening Night comes our way.

The black night comes our way. Leaving us together; alone.  (finally it making sense)

Warning : All inhibitions which bind are to kept at bay…

The Musing : Tara my Redemption!

Part II Cruel summer of Desire & Longing: The Afternoon

Found nothing. Lost everything. The illusions of separation keeps me drinking ever more. The wine. The salt in my tears.

My shrine of hope is amidst fields of gold. If you are to ever glimpse a sight of endlessness; come, come to the refuge of the world. Tara pith. The infinity residing here in these fields would engulf. The unison in which each grain moves with wind; The entire world quakes. The earth shakes here.

Dancers lose themselves within dance. I realized that this was true. When the dance of compassion oh Tara; was You!

Their beneath the great banyan I saw you. I knew you. My heart was yours. It never was parted. Dressed in deep red of desire; of passion. I saw your blossoming. Moving slowly under the shade you kindly gave no heed to externals. You kindly gave your sight to me!

It seemed to me as if the entire fields were dancing with you. They were dancing for you!

In this holy hour. In this holy instant. What is that boon you wish for? The gods asked.

‘There is nothing I can ask for at such a moment. All that could be done was to be thankful’

And then you looked at me; twice in so many eons. With a gentle hand uplifted you called one to one.

With the ears adorning sweet diamonds. Your hair open; wild; covered by the flowers that the gods showered seeing you child. Your eyes open gazing; not searching. Calm and on Fire! Like the sun above. Even the sun seemed to have given itself wholly to you… Petals fell where your bare feet graced. How I would die to be at your feet. How I could never foresee my redemption. A thing of certainty to come.

A pearl adorned your neck as it gently lay between your swaying breasts. Moving hypnotic. It held me in a trance. It held me in rapture… It blew me away.

Your dance oh so ever slow. So ever seductive for all of life itself. You would have me torn and mended. You are the way. You are the life.

Your lips parted for the first time; spoke with the melody of the lord as he plays the flute. It blew me away.

In an instant we were racing down fields, past them without care; they parted where we were to be; We raced like little children, laughing innocently. Our hearts raced. Our bodies pulsed with life. We left the wind behind. Left the world aside; and a kiss amongst the fields of gold that even intensity could not define. That kiss which brought me back alive.

In an instant the great banyan found me, I was standing alone under its immense shade. No sight of what had been. I stood mesmerized; that dreams could be so cruel too. Could light be snatched away from innocence so swift!

Finding petals under my feet. Fresh in desire. Fresh in their longing. I sit down and smile innocent. All my life’s culmination are for this my love. The moment where you and I shared that golden kiss.