To undo yourself and renew yourself in the well spring that is your beloved. It is work of lifetimes.
This is the tale of one such lifetime, where I met my beloved under the most dire of circumstances, with the world and the kind which I was born as crumbling in all levels – from societal to personal. I thought meeting her again in such a different form, in a distant place like this was beyond my feelings. Beyond what I could contemplate.
Karma is such, it pains and plays on your soul and then when its leaving – it binds you to love. And then the karma you have been trying to escape has become the love which you so need to breathe in to reunite and feel alive. Indeed life is a funny affair.
Lasting love is one and its constant, without beginning and end – to my darling beloved, in different forms of intricate taste. Its my fortune to have lived in different worlds together and then yearning for her love.
Oh her calm and serene exterior. Her warmth and deep compassion towards all, She is my goddess in this life and the past. Indeed the next, and where would I be without her – caressing me to live this life – sometimes away in yearning and sadness and sometimes together in love and harmony in her tender embrace. Oh the fallacies of life, the grandeur of it all. Its truly unfathomable.
I have been lucky and indeed cursed, to have been born away from her – to find her and then lose her to the calls of the world, how could I have foreseen and prepared for this all, and just when I am about to end it all. There she stands in the doorway – looking towards me with tender doe eyes; the kinds which melt away all separateness. Alas this too was an illusion, and when the illusion disappears – all that remains her is her sweet perfume. Her body smells of jasmine and I cannot ever forget that; through so many lives. She sits and watches me suffer so that I could prove my true eternal love to her. To this existence she has weaved so lovingly for me and me only.
I love her, without name and form and indeed she is a beautiful apparition when she shows me her form. Her name is Neelam this time around, and my name is Arvind. Everything seems to have changed and actually nothing has.
I somehow feel that this is the love which lasts forever. The one which we forget and never really forget, the one which we feel is karma and even after its done we stick around and caress without need or purpose
How I feel she is my salvation and that this is our last life being alive separate (in thought/form/heartbeat). The serpent has spoken, the deal has been sealed. The kiss so tender lasts forever with her.
Om Nama Civaya