Sunday, September 27, 2009
When i read about this site when it was launched some time back, i was wondering, have the site owners played a prank to name it twitter- in turn inviting all the twits from all over the world to come and "tell about what they are doing" it seems.
It is a thorough waste of time, for I know what all the fellow twitterians are doing right- oh so do you... anyone in twitter is a fucking twat who's just upto twitting all the time. What a waste.
I am all game for the technological revolution, believe you me, I am at the forefront of anything which makes life simpler-> shifted from cassettes (which i had so many of) to digital pod musica. Changed from a traditional SLR to DSLR, and ofcourse moved from writing my journals to keeping computer documents. But I do know when somethings are just plain wrong. Twitter doesnt give me hope for anything better, if its finding information- about something- from people or sources- then the internet is fine enough for that. Then why this incessant need to isolate oneself in front of the laptop -> so that one can keep in touch with their friends/colleagues ?
There are people right now, as I speak who are wasting their time on "updating" other people they know about their glorious lives. What is so glorious about the day to day routines?- i am travelling, I am getting married, I had a kid, Oh I am not well, I am shifting to some other job and blah blah... this is all what people communicate to each other about, Something which is out of the ordinary, well then perhaps I might be encouraged to see/participate in twit crap. But surely even Jesus, would have thought to let silence be, or talk to people face to face or not at all about his crucifixion, and not use something as base as twatter.
Friday, September 25, 2009
People write about what they think they know, and so do I. Dark energy is my field of experience.
Most people don't reckon they know how they change, they say time, and circumstances and people in their life- the reasons for mental/physical/spiritual change.
Change is only due shocks in your fucking system. Shocks you cannot see, cannot predict and fucking cannot avoid. Shocks are energy pouring into you, shifting levels of what you think you are. Making you change your perspective all the time. Even if time didn't change, and nothing around you was there to affect you to change, you wont be able to remain as you are. The reason is the outpouring. The universe behaves in doubles, etheric doubles. The shock which blows your mind is both from within and without. It comes as much from the external world, as from your internal etheric frame.
The ways to induce shocks in your perception and consciousness and your levels of power are many, There is alcohol, ambition, drugs, sexual intercourse, meditation, physical movements, chemical imbalances (as a cause not as a result), trance, coma, and of course death.
Most people don't believe the power and reality of death, its an amazing shock wave, many times its not to break the frame down, but to remodel it completely- hence you see/notice so many near death cases coming back to life, completely transformed- its not only because of what the NDE experience shows them- but also the double works in such a manner as to reinforce the energy already present and not dissipate it for another work (how death works generally- destroys the energy-dissipates it- remodels it)
Why dont we induce shocks to ourselves- we do continuously right? people in the olden ages took massive amounts of hallucinogenics to shape/shift their energy levels. People nowadays keep running around for material paper which they think is the way to shift their energy levels, many people though- have completely forgotten how to shift their energy/consciousness levels- they are inept- and vastly ignorant of their abilities. Its fucking pathethic when i see people bickering about physical/material persuits when there is so much more at stake. When people who are inept at thinking out of the box to shift their energies are confronted- they come up with stupid excuses for staying inert="I am not spiritual person/ I don't think I can do that/ This is meant for sadhus in the Himalayas".
I feel like beating my head down and telling them, how the fuck they got to be born is a big wonder. Being born is spiritual, being alive and of course dying are all spiritual. We are spiritual at core, why the facade of spiritual inertia.
Sometimes i just wonder whether the entire earth could ever face a mass shockwave without death being involved.
The fury inside burns up everything in sight,
The kreator wakes up, and asks your soul in plight.
You want to tango? Get what you have got, I am your messenger of death, your lack of life is your persistence to die with the ends of scythe.
Devouring all the vermin of creation in my endless mouth,
I evaporate this cycle back to dust.
You shall never repeat your mistake, that fate shall make sure this time.
Come now, wont you tango? with my cleaver and with my noose.
They so eager to spill your sinned blood, split you into demise, show you back to the nevermore void.
Devoured by the raven like death rays, that have started falling from the sky.
Lightening burns the funeral pyres, where countless still wail and rot and die.
The earth left a smoldering rock, the vapors of human suffering spewed up above.
No compassion, for you are the cancer and you are now the one self cannibalized.
I see you arrive to your death, looking pious still- nothing gets past me. No grave good enough for your brand of stench. No grave so deep that your kind wont try to come back to life. I annihilate you all with my third eye. Pitiful black pools of your blood flows to the earth. Finally you have been devoured; You have fucking died.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
There is a forest near my college.
Oh i go to college, and do try to study but i find that most things which are worth learning are on the outside :)
The forest is deep, dark, dense and endless. This I can vouch for.
The area where International management college is located is in a green part of south delhi, called qutab institutional enclave. This was thick jungle area, belonging to villagers from katwaria-ber sarai. But the government has taken over these huge portions, and the jungle is now called sanjay van- belonging to delhi development authority. The DDA assholes have built some trails- some non cemented paths which go inside this jungle- and some parks cut out in the middle of the jungles at various locations. But you must see it to believe it. the place reeks of haunt unparalleled. I met this place by accident some 2 years back, when I had come exploring with my friends, we soon saw that there was a village temple of the katwaria sarai people here- for guru goraknatha. There is a commercial temple, which is well lit, and where most people venture close to the college (which is at the edge of sanjay van) and then there is the real temple deeper inside the jungle- which is beautiful- many natha sadhus of tradition who have spent their life in these places are buried in the actual goraknatha temple. Goraknatha is the disciple of matsyendranatha, he is the original guru of natha/kanpatha tradition, and he is intense power. I always pray to his shakti, when I enter his land, ofcourse it is his land, where his power has been and still is.
I have ventured many times deep deep inside this insane forest, with my friends (never alone). The place is haunted, the trees here have an insane edge at night, especially during amavasya- which was the last time (this month) when i entered this blessed place.
The path is long winding, and very very silent, you may find people on the way, but never at night- there are multitudes of peacocks/hens, as well as nilgai and deer, I have seen beautiful stags with amazing horns, in the periphery of the jungle (on the outskirts itself) - which is such a surreal sight to witness, in a fuck pot hole like delhi.
This is the special time of navratri, and the nine nights began with amalaya amavasya- the special time of the year where the ancestral spirits enter the human realm- on this night I came to the temple in a special mood, with two of my companions, to peer inside deeper.
There are many roads which lead inside, some of them go all the way towards vasanth vihar side-which I have walked at night (some 8-10 km stretch of pure ecstacy). There is another route which we decided to take on this dark night, towards the left into the unknown. We had but one phone with a torch light (which came in very very handy indeed), we start walking and suddenly everything goes darker than usual, the undergrowth is very thick on these paths, yet we continue on the way, we walk from something around 12 at night to 4 in the morning, the path becomes narrow at times, and is broad enough to carry cars at some other points, the path is winding and there are many strange noises which we get to hear every other moment, one of my friends is used to this place as i am, but the other one is a newcomer, and is indeed nervous about human/animal intrusion in this place, i reconcile him- telling him that this is holy land, land of power, and if our actions are actions of power, then no harm shall accrue on us, if on the other hand, we remain confused, and act in haste or fail to act at all- then yes, this is and will be our graveyard.
We head towards the left, I dont know what direction it is, cause neither the moon nor the sun is there to guide us. We reach many crossroads, which lead to smaller inroads, but in pitch darkness, we stick to the so called "main" path. Walking continuously, I know what we are headed towards, though I don't know the same for my companions, but I am sure they have a clue. We are to face with something from the twilight zone, that was also a series by the same name, the energy levels making inroads to this world, and yes we are/were/will be hunting for it.
At four in the morning, we have exhausted our fuels, our energy drinks, our water, our sight, and of course our mind. The delhi skies emit a yellow haze, but the darkness is too strong for us to make use of this peripheral light, we reach a summit, a small hillock, and a single tree to give us night shade. Resting, we decide whether to move ahead or back, the path has been desolate, and we haven't seen anything unfolding in the bushes yet. The legs have become weary, yet it is twilight time, i am to remind myself, we head forward without much hesitation,
The path moves haywire, and there is a prominant cross road, a road of recoganizable dimensions heading way inside the jungle, we decide to take it, we haven't yet and it has been 3 hours odd since we began the walk.
The path is solid, a car can move on it, and yet we float on it, we reach a smaller interior cross road, there is a weird light, and soon i figure what that is, its not a light at all! its fog, setting in. the haze has a light of its own, now that i recollect, it skipped me completely that this couldn't have been an ordinary fog, the shimmer... we all felt suddenly weird, the location was even more remote than the path we had been traversing till now, and it definitely was deeper inside the void. We see a sudden shift of shadow, its an animal and its somewhere 100 ft in front of us, moving in this weird ass fog, I am the last to spot it correctly due to my cylindrical and spherical combination trip. The animal moves on the road in front of us, and shifts into the other side of the undergrowth, and then its gone. We aren't able to spot it, and that freaks us, perhaps the time of the morning and the mental state, and perhaps hearing about stray leopards all night long (mostly from my stupid mouth ) makes us turn around, and we start moving backward, we still are trying to spot what that is, but it never returns (or perhaps never left). We have seen some weird things inside this thick quiet jungle in the heart of south delhi, and its always marks of power, and we didn't have enough of it this amavasya night to confront the magical pass.
In many civilizations, an animal, like a deer-leopard-tiger-bull are symbols of power, the concept being that in the night, many a time its not these animals which are moving, but entities of power which take on this form. Their vision, and their meet is indeed a power journey. Something worth dying for.
The path is only long and weary when you are yearning,
when there is no goal, all illusion passes on.
Respite despite mortal fright.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
What is consciousness?
Some would define it as the stage, or the process or the ends when something is self-aware. Aware that it is alive, or rather different from some other things (alive and non-alive are just human contexts, not universal). So when a rock realizes that it is different from a homosapien, wont it also believe that it is conscious, it is alive? Yes it would, it is only human convoluted rationale that believes-or thinks that some things don't have the ability to be self aware- this is actually one of the symptoms of lower stages/nascent stages of consciousness, where one which identifies itself to be alive or such, would imagine that it is unique, unlike anything else in creation, the matter of fact is that we fail to notice consciousness-or the finer stages of it, because we ourselves remain in the lower rungs- we only admit something is conscious, if we notice it through our eyes or ears- if there is a physical response- then we imagine that it is conscious. The universe has spread consciousness everywhere- it is the base on which all things are made in reality. Hence the rock, sand and the island all have varying degrees of consciousness. Individual and collective.
So far we have only said consciousness refers to something when it admits that it is self aware, that it is different in someways from something which is not (conscious). But in truth the real definition of consciousness is that the ability to be self - aware and realize that there is only one self. This is the latter interdependent explanation to consciousness (collective)- and this is the bounds to become shiva. Think about it, how is the I in a person different from the I in another person-they just share two different bodies, so you say the I in one person needs these things, and the other needs certain other things, but in reality they I has not changed at all-the personality, body, intellect,emotional maturity are all different but the I is the same- hence there is only one I here, we just perceive it as only belonging to us (individually). But in truth- the I is the same in each and every conscious being in the universe. We can say only how the organism defines the I depends on the intensity/energy of its consciousness- a highly conscious being would define I in bigger (greater energetic level terms) than suppose an average jo from the planet earth (who at times would not even consider himself to be conscious lol~)
Consciousness is a flimsy affair, but it is to be understood and recognized, that human beings in their quest for sense bound rationality and logic- have forgotten/become ignorant of the varying finer levels of consciousness which permeates this entire matrix. It is the mortar on which life is based. The ability to become self aware- exists in most matter-energy in the cosmos, yet the ability to Only become self aware- lacks here on earth. (we have chosen to forgo the true meaning of consciousness- interdependent symbiotic systems and have instead chose to live in a plane where we have forgotten how to perceive different levels-stages of consciousness- and how to become truly interdependent part of the cosmos)
And do remember, the rock, the turd, the grass and the moon are all alive and with divine energy
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Death endless, never sleep peacefully.. partially mad because of the undertones of the fast tracked life.
Sow the seeds of vengeance, deep within. Dont hide the fact that your mind is corrupted with thoughts of immortality to the brim
Walking motionless on the beaches of nevermore. You and I can hold hands, and perhaps still have time to slit our throats. Do it now, surrender, defend your broken vision(?)
Beat ridden beast, happy to welcome you to your future, a holocaust on the way and you and I are the birds of prey... not a thing bothers me, somehow i am bathed in glow, just on your own.
Born into this world, stagnant apathy. Follow the path to the highlands, where mountains meet snow.
Shook with the uncoiling of the energies so latent in you, where is the last clue to fit my life together? It's somehow not present. Didnt exist.
What I wish for is Grace, the nine nights of power are upon us, goddess shall grant your wish. Save you. Goddess chandi will be your protector.
Grant myself the strength to endure pure energy. To live up to a humble and indifferent death. To enliven your life and your moments before death as grand envision of unity. to mothers love.
Ma Tara, the lover , will keep you and I close. Fear shall dissipate, life and love will unite.
Take these nine days, as days which will grab you, mould you, battering ram into the skull to unlearn what you and i have done. Trap is shut, the powerhouse is ALIVE~
9 Sacred nights-The power of intense devotion. towards life... towards death.
Friday, September 18, 2009
The ravers delight is in the continuation of the party, even after it is over physically. The mental trip, I feel the beats within my head now. And the dj has made it quite clear, that it shall never ever end.
There are aghoris, sitting around me, and shaking in the fury of divine love, the ghouls of yesteryear have taken control of themselves- rising and shaking in the fury of eternity.
The shackles have been broken friends. The show has come a full circle, the rising has begun.
The night progresses and the mind regresses; into some primal form. away from anything substantial to modern man, a nascent stage of luminance; has begun.
Manikarnika stands out like a jewel, spewed off by the calm serene flowing ganges. It bellows out smoke into the skies and flings the ashes of once called men over to everywhere.
Carnage in the name of a party, thats what i get to see. Entities of the dark, split tongues and serpent lords all coming out of their den, to pay homage, to dance endless in a ravers mood, for the lord is the dj tonight, and he is out to get us all, to give us that potent fright.
Trees at the periphery of the smashan have come alive, they are singing patterns, tunes with and without melody, blending it with the psychotic music. This is all insane, the mind refutes, but its another case with the heart.
Save energy, but can't stop moving, the predicament is deep, the answer murkier still. The kechari have begun their exercise move into regions of light. The tantrics all drunk with the soma of the beloved, are coming over from the other ghats, to see which master plays tonight...
The king of the undead is awake, the lord with the red drunk eyes. He spins around and the world goes deeper into the well of disillusionment. He is verily the master shiva, lolling tongue, fires to destroy the present creation. Pure cocaine reality. The master plays like never before, and I am left with a hyper frequency. Something faster than what I am used to. The music is taking over.. and I am liking it hell lot.
Sky is littered with the disfigured pretas, who have come from heavens to see the master play, the sound is psychedlic, like a cooked mushroom, like the corners of your mind converging. Into a focal point. a nada, a bindu.
All life is bound to this place, if you do not realize it , what a waste it will be. That you will end your days on earth one finite, definite day. Realize that deeply, keep the mad master who will use your body ashes to decorate himself. This sensation of unity. of everything that must burn, to be done with. This is the purification I am looking for..
One by one, they all lined up to the edges of this universe creamatory.
Taking a pick, a random tune, they gather up their energies to entertain and create.
I am talking about the seven rishis, who descend into the surface of the earth, to see the master play. They cannot get enough of this mad divine melody, Their expression changes to awe. Something the raver understands.
The party as expected did not end... atleast for me. Something came over me, dissolved this tight frame which I called myself. Lost in the sufi love for deeper music, which transforms, changes. converts to nothing at the end of it all..
The ravers flier is anonymous, doesn’t have any details other than the time and place of the midnight party. I see it dumbfounded, life echoes endless screams in one ear, and the other is already deaf. The flier is stuck to a wall at the end of time; at least to me. The party congregates at night, starts at midnight and doesn’t tell when it will end (will it ever, I think to myself). Its on the banks of ganges, on a ghat unspecified in the sacred town of kashi. The sacred hometown of lord vishveshwara. Where all things meet, where all things shall end.
I am not enthusiastic packing my bags, to head out from my home. I have been suffering from manic depression, the questions in my head are louder, more insane. Reaching out to grab a piece of me, whatever is left, like vultures to the rotting corpse. No end in sight of the cycle of karma. No final solution to the deep distressing problems of the night.
The town looks bare, no colors, no people. I stand and light up a cigarette in the bus stop. Nonstop journey and my arse feels as if all the tridents from hell have poked it good. This is not kashi, I think to myself. Kashi is deep and sensual. No traces of life here, I have the copy of flier which I flicked from that wall with me, I go around asking people “ so is there a party here? Heard some firangs are here to play that dik-chik type music?” No answers, No interest. The beggars crowd around the garbage fires, the winter chill and the ganges make it serene even next to filth.
Feels like vomit at the end of earth, walking these lonely roads at this time of the night, vomit for it is not this place but the sensation of losing I, in this place, in this weird time. That is kasi, something way out of the plane of existence as we know it.
I reach ghat after ghat, no party here, there are not even any party people in this town, no hippies, long haired grunge travelers, no babas and apparent sadhus, all coming in for the piece of the action, and no before party beats to show people the way to the location. This is weird I say to myself. I took a pilgrimage to the place where all die, where all are dust- for what? This is not my time, yet, I believe… I hope.
Manikarnika shows up in front of me, I swear that I had not seen where it is, I was not heading for this! I am to head to a party, dropped thrice tonight yet I was not ready for THIS> the place of rest and peace. no no. not tonight!
Dissolution is the other name for manikarnika, sacred and revered by Hindus as the focal point for cremation on this planet, it now looks like the empty left over of the Hindu frame of mind, dusty, dirty and repulsive. Yet it holds a glow, glow of stark raving death.
I go inside the wide gates, this is weird I think- seeing a banner put up in front of the gates – “seek and ye shall find, come and see whats deep inside-you and I” nothing else, written in black and red alternating words. No guards, no keepers of the crypt. Indeed disturbing. but what of the dead inside? would they be pleasing enough
Being inside the sacred city of silence at this late hour, I would have ideally liked to see the temples- but they are closed, so I step into what could be only better, the original domicile of the lord natha, The other ghats like assi, dashwamedh look pale in comparison to this, I forgot about the river, which I can now notice at the periphery. Looks serene at night with the full moon rising at the other ends, maybe I cannot see the litter, the pollutants- the night removes all of those. Indeed I would have been happy if it had been a moonless night, for when the light protrudes into places like this ghat, many unknown forces become active, hungry and despise intruders like myself. All these thoughts come fast and uncontrolled into my head, as i take slow and steady/sturdy steps to reach into where one is purified and defiled.
I start feeling tremors underneath my feet, the ground is slipping, and the beats are becoming now more pronounced-lo~suddenly!, reverberating in my mind. I am keen to find the source, surely this is not the locale for partying by any insane keeps or is it?
I sit near a peepul trees gaze-old and revered-tied with endless red strings for the dead men/womens peace- or that if they cannot find peace, they always have this tree to come and haunt :). I know that’s not a wise choice, but this place defies is truth and what are lies. Everything and one is equal here. For every single thing becomes part of what it originally is. the dust at the feet of the master~self
The Dj for the night has started up unceremoniously I feel, there is no crowd here except me, or are there? Maybe people/others like me have come here and are hiding in peripheries on this moonlight night, feeling the music near the river washing away their pains once and for all.
I start walking now, the music is irresistible, the beats becoming faster and the rhythm becoming chaotic. Where is the dj console for this rave? Where is the dancing floor? Where are the people and the smoking pipes lit up as a smoke signal to the other unwary trippers?
All I see is one funeral pyre after another, some still lit, some still full on blaze. The flesh burns and nausea to those who still dream to live. In this place everything remains still, everything must die.
At the end of the ghat, I see it, 5 funeral pyres stacked upon each other, all lit with embers still and on top sitting is the naga sadhu in deep introspection. I freak out like many times before, is this a dream or a nightmare? Is this real? The words spoken in the mind and the answers instantly replied. This is your end child, come and dance for the lord is tonight in benevolent mood, he shall obliterate your tongue and your self once and for all.
I look around but the drops have kicked in, the mind is lucid; the stars they all falling down one by one like shooting stars, all around the full round beautiful glazed moon.
Deeper in my mind, I have seen this scene before, like a déjà-vu, like some serenity not found. The dj is not stopping, sitting on the pyres he is signaling again and again in some repetitive fashion to the skies and the earth in alternating manner, I think he is pulling off the music of my life, yea verily he is bringing the world to a halt, to my attention before my demise.
My feet cannot stop from grooving and I start dancing free style (freaking out !) around the burning pyres, one by one i notice from the corner of my eyes that- they are all coming back to life…
Thursday, September 17, 2009
India is a land of myriad landscapes, and moods. I have learnt that India is the answer to a miniature world. We have differences in religions (most other counties in the world are religion/nation states historically), creeds, races, castes and philosophies. Different cultures which have merged over and over with each other through ages, through such varied landscapes.
Think about it, In this country (3000km length, 2000km wide aprox), we can hitch a ride and within a day, we could reach such virgin beaches- which have never been set foot upon by outsiders; on the western coast- down from mumbai all the way to kerala, we can climb the sand dunes of the thar- and walk on ancient hillocks of gir forest-girnar. We can take a train and move to the placid water bodies on the east coast and meet thick tropical like jungles in orissa. We can see the heights at various altitudes over shivaliks/himachal ranges and give it all up and move to highest of all heights in himadri. Travel east and meet the great torrent brahamaputra (perhaps one of the most understated rivers in this world) and such..
So what stops us? why don't we travel, I am personally inertial like most of us, believing to make a life in a small hole of a room bound away from the real world, we have a chance to see the world-here in this country itself. its such a wonder really, you travel and meet so many different personalities, you get to see the poverty and the wonders of architecture unparallel, India has been a collage of awe! Through ages the aura of this land has penetrated this awe in every every every nook and corner of this black soil land.
I get to see so many different perspectives when I travel, see people's lives through their eyes, how they have lived and survived, how they have grown up and seen this india change in the past 50-100 years. People who have become wise from their life experiences, this is practical knowledge which we youth can get so easily, for that matter anyone at any stage of life, can gain practical knowledge by traveling. You get to inculcate patience (atleast in India, that is a must!); to handle unfamiliar situations and people, to communicate and bond with the unity of our common land and the differences whatsoever they may be. It is a feeling of camaraderie, of mutual respect- which one travels humbly, taking everything in, embracing every sight- however mundane or inhumane it might look, this is the wisdom of the real world, and as i say the real world is here manifested in India itself.. then what stops us, from seeing every single town, zila, state of this god-blessed nation.
Travelling is a great guru, it tends to screw you over if you travel with arrogance or ignorance of your external surroundings, it tests both your internal capacities and external chaos. It builds tolerance par excellence and sense of awe.
We are such small physical entitites in this great universe, it sometimes astonishes me when people are not willing to travel some kilometers-baby steps in this universe, not to see the great wonder of life. How can people spend their entire lives inside boxes of varying spaces and call that living?
Traveling is very common indulgence which perhaps most people undertake at one point in time or other, but some or most give it up after a while. They are not actively interested in seeing parts of the world- or are only interested in selective parts of this wonderful world. Why is that? Perhaps we start imagining how it is in delhi, is how it would be in angul (orissa) or in rudraprayag(uttarakhand) or perhaps in lakshwadeep. This is a gross mistake. The element of boredom can NEVER mix in a journey-which is the elixir- a therapeutic- for all this worlds and our internal mental ills. The traveling i am talking about is kind of a pilgrimage (like the old days), where we set out to see awe. to something our lives does not present us, at our home. We see what others in this world have been upto- living and dying.
For a long time, I saw the story of king Siddhartha and his exile in his castle by his father as a sort of allegory. Like Siddhartha was not worldly wise- he was mostly in his city- he never saw what the real world looked like, intense thirst for world (not the material so called world, but the real world) took over him. He wanted to know, to see, to be. This is what most of us never ever feel during our lifetimes. Our jobs and families and bank balances occupy so much of our time, that we are left impotent of energy to even grasp the joys of free travel.
Traveling according to me is most enjoyed when one travels with a good companion or alone, too many people and you end up going no where (if you take every bodies consideration that is), and traveling should be light- remembering that we are moving, changing inertia and hence if we did it with least mass- it would be easiest- so travel cheap-travel light-mentally and physically and of-course keeping no expectations. Most travel experiences remain average or less than satisfactory, because people go in with some sort of imagination of how it will be, turn out etc. Mistake of your life people, let it be and the path least taken shall become visible for your eyes only :)
So wake up tomorrow, and see a new place, try some new earth. Breathe in some different winds, and dont let that fire of wanderlust die down ever.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Let me explain to you, for what you might grasp yourself to be, might not be after all.
"You" is something that you did not cook up. Some "one" else has, and hence you have become- a divine act of transmutation to "you". The present you is not the same as the past (hindsight) or the future (perfect) you. It is "you" which has remained in change, nothing else. The definition which defines you is in change, but not really who you have been/are/will be.
So who is the real 'you'?
I define a diaggrama, of sorts of your energy - which maketh you; you.
It is the diagram of a core, and a shield. The core is defined as power- in the universe it might be defined as dark energy (not matter). This is active kinetic, destructive, reproductive, lunatic drive. It is not contained neither does 'it' wish to be. There is no bound to be entertained with such power, there is only end after end. The core is covered by the dual, the consciousness. This is the lethal - boundary to which power must be. If there is no consciousness to contain power, then it is case of futility. You see hitler? what went wrong with his 'you/I'? It was consciousness which was limited and power which grew beyond the core boundary. it lead to something which could not be fathomed- I tell 'you', even by himself.
You are not singular, you become singular only when the two inter-act and play and become one. Which two? the core and the shield. The power and consciousness. In truth, the universe only harbors power. The consciousness is a part of it, the outer sheath of power, created by it, yet not the same composition as true wild power. The consciousness is shivoham.
As the core increases in dimension; the sheath too must increase. The consciousness of unity, the realization of boundariless boundary must be present, for power to increase in magnitude. The relative simplicity of words used, should not confuse you to believe that power can be increased in magnitude or dimensions such as quantity. This is what I am talking about to make you - 'you'/ where you are currently, and why you remain static in that one core dimension is due to this, when your psychic powers increase-change or manifest themselves- it is truly the power house kundalini who is interacting within you to change who you are. The consciousness is shiva, benign and resplendent to 'know' without seeing, to be without 'existence'
As it is known, many go direct to the core, not waiting for consciousness to change - to show the way most pleasing instead. Power is unpredictable-shakti is unimaginable/unfathomable.
Many have been completely incinerated by their efforts to control her, I suspect it is the wrong approach in the absence of shiva-consciousness. It is to submit to her will. that you can be redefined.
Let me tell you what I knows of shiva- How does one expand consciousness? How does one increase the aura surrounding shiva?
One becomes shiva by constantly meditating on his counterpart- Shakti- Divine Power. She is the redemption one requires. One does not become shiva by mantras, yantras or meditation.
It is love and only love which maketh one the supreme healer of hearts- Vaidishwara. Lord of required medicine.
And consciousness is the medicine, while shakti is the cure. You must see it such, if sadhana is your true effort.
This duality of you, is the truth. There is not one to you, yet many. There is the feeling of one, and there is the power to realize it. One pertains to sheer consciousness, while the other pertains to no thought no feeling - just. action. and the combination of the two, is the present ever changing-constant dichotomy, verily 'you' ~ now.
Om Namah Civaya
Peace & Love
Noida lies on the other side of the yamuna (trans yamuna), is the beginning of ulta pradesh from delhi. My home is very close to the DND which is a stretch of 8 km smooth driving over the yamuna to pay a toll and enter the sacred profane territory. This is verily noida, where there is no boundary of any sort, people do as they please and live where they can.
The yamuna has crossed the danger limit these past few days, and I stop my car to take a look at the flow, the gutter has come to life; showing some life/so unlike how it is normally. where there is no movement in the river-just a lifeless gutter.
Noida is such a place where people dawn no shackles of mental territory. There is but one place where people here congregate to enjoy in PEACE. that is sector 18. this hosts some two malls and the western retail stores, so the true villagers of noida, congregate here and spend their black money on western items in an Indian fashion of submissive meekness; and ofcourse feel good about themselves. There are a mix of people who come to noida to make it their home, some are the IT techie fuckers, who land themselves some cheap testing job here, there are those who shifted here when noida was expanding some 10 years back, to make it their home- delhiites mostly who were/are well off (ofcourse not on culture) and then there are the majority of the people from nearby sectors/villages who come here wearing t-shirts and jeans to have a good time- to be a part of the diversity of this god dammed place!
I have seen many places in this industrial hell hole, the rich sectors, where people have couple of cars and a big villa set up for themselves-where people do not need/have to interact with others-in vogue with the delhi culture of pompous dick-ness, and then there are the poor sectors-where people dole over each other to make it through to another site-noida hosts some 100+ sectors-majority of which are so under the ground, that you wouldn't be able to handle the smell for more than an instant in these place, there are many sorts of activities which take place in this region and i assure you most, if not all are illegal in some respect or other.
Here life is very cheap, you can get people done for couple of thousand rupees, there is infiltration of prostitution and narcotics. There is corruption at every level- and ofcourse many places also hold up potential terrorists- who try to come into delhi to cause mayhem- all this coming from the upfront image of ulta pradesh; Nooidaa.
Noida has a wind, a substance, a sort of redemption which I dont see in any other city setup, there is decadence here and utter lack of humanity. This place is cruel and more than that it is out of the world weird. Such people and situations on a day to day basis that its impossible to fathom that noida is attached to reality in some way.
Once I was walking in the old sector 18-which is called atta market( probably a flour market in the distant past) where metro also has been working to make a line for a very long time (finally finished) i see lots of people congregated and cheering/jeering something; I move close and see two massive bulls interlocked horns and in a fighting position, and like some new age version of some ancient Colosseum- people everywhere around cheering this, and i was bamboozled- how the fuck do people have such vela time as to watch two bulls who themselves are vela engaging in something sooo vela.
There are countless incidents and situations which have brought a smile on my face and make me recount mentally and verbally that- well well, this is truly noida!
The gutters here freely flow, and no one cares much about that! I see on a regular basis, couples finding a quiet corner for themselves, which is more often than not close to some sort of open gutter or garbage bin or something. People here openly embrace dirty beggar children who come and stick to other peoples bodies until they are given some money-people here dont mind anything i tell you! The UP cop is also another story- there is no concept of a traffic officer here-some of them are not really cops and they are outsourced to private agencies- no one ever pays any heed to them, there are cops with a lathi and people who challenge their authority more often than not will at least have a katta or a decent weapon :)
I come here often because this place is close to my home, and more than that i see the open places which are missing in delhi, there is some sort of peace in this really chaotic environment. The sectors which are dominated by most people who are the true inhabitants of UP and noida- are so pathetic, it is really dismal to see that at times. And on the other hand , we get to see huge areas of forests-parks here cut for appeasing mayawati- the bitch ruler of this state. She has recently stripped clean a beautiful stretch of land near sector 18 for making something called a "Dalit Memorial". She is truly mad, there is no other word, apart from the exorbitant cost, the people here had no idea for some 5 months that this was going to be done to their walking and socializing park places. When they came to know that the construction was not for making more footpaths etc and was for this weird ass memorial-people freaked out and complained- but it was too late by then, the court has taken the appeal, but in this land lawlessness is the norm, if someone is honest or wants to do good, then no good will accrue to them. That is the rule in ulta pradesh and of course noida, the dalit memorial looks hideous - almost complete and has many statues of such assholes like kanshi ram and of course our own very beatch Mayawati.
These things which remove the shackles of the rationality in our brain is because of noida, this place is a joke. it is the big ass pimple which pricks every time we use our ass.
But still the weirdness makes it feel like home ;)
Come one , come all... come and see this weird playground
some of you call it a circus, some call it the morgue
but the phenomena of the blind queen leading the blind masses
cannot be more substantial than in noida, where rain and tears become one.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The lyrics from Pearl Jam's Latest album : Back spacer
The song is called : Unthought Known.
All the thoughts you never see
You are always thinking
Brain is wide, the brain is deep
Oh, are you sinking?
Feel the path of every day
Which road you taking?
Breathing hard, making hay
Yeah, this is living
Look for love in evidence
That you're worth keeping
Swallowed whole in negatives
It's so sad and sickening
Feel the air up above
Oh, pool of blue sky
Fill the air up with love
All black with starlight
Feel the sky blanket you
With gems and rhinestones!!!
See the path cut by the moon
For you to walk on
For you to walk on...
Nothing left, nothing left
Nothing there, nothing here...
Nothing left, nothing left
Nothing there, nothing left...
Nothing left, nothing left
Nothing there, nothing here...
See the path cut by the moon
For you to walk on
See the waves on distant shores
Awaiting your arrival
Dream the dreams of other men
You'll be no one's rival
Dream the dreams of others then
You will be no one's rival
You will be no one's rival...
So which side are you on? are you on the rise, or on the fall??
There is no time other than now; so what are you waiting for? For another messiah to pull you of stupor? to sober you up till the judgment day cometh?
Which side do you want to be on? Life or Remorse
There is no end to suffering you have inflicted, dont be the silent spectator, come now, act up the earth needs you, and you are the need of the hour. Without your attention and consciousness, there is no out from this predicament.
Predicament of lifelessness, of chaos un paralleled. Your ancients have raped the land, and destroyed thoughts of unity. So which side are you on? Indifferent or anarchist?
Every hour, the rate increases, when man comes up with the axe to destroy another life form from the face of the planet and the map of existence. You are sitting idling and fucking in your mind, your job and your high, take a look around. You are the root cause of why this planet has been fucked up big time.. time to take a side, a stand.
Act now or forever lie in your grave; which side are you on? the right side or down the stinking alleyway of human apathy?
Pick up piece time child, take a look at your feeble mind, how easily it crumbles when of fantasy change. this is not the real life, this is a real lie. which you and i have perpetrated on this planet for the past billion years, and we continue to do it with impunity and no remorse, hell we do it without the knowledge of what our actions are causing to do...
I am not prompting the meek you to go out and do a dharna, or stage a revolution, that is not possible even if you had the inclination. I am telling you to S-A-V-E the world and YOURSELF right here, and right now.
Change that ancient achaic thinking about notions which you have not fully understood, about things, beings and situations which you could never possibly fully understand. Let it be, stop looking at your own fucking narrow mind frame of greed all the time, give a little, you bastards! what makes you stop from giving a LOT???
You taken birth out of no choice of yours, and you think you have free choice when it comes to deciding the fate of this planet, the symbiosis present here-now and in the universe because of a puny mental pygmy such as you all!?
You think too much about too little, time to take that part of you away, disintegrate it, and build from the ground on up. Change your consciousness, and by doing that do you know.... the entire universes consciousness changes, frankly speaking the universe cannot handle primitive bacterial-life forms like ourselves, its a question of growth and sustainability.. of all which is.. consciousness. and we are the dearth of that. a mass of flesh and bones sans life, sans power,sans consciousness. oh but we are high on one thing -> false stupefied ego notions of grandeur.
It is our chance to embrace all that we have done wrong , and I implore you once again to look at it .. which side are you on? to save now? or perish forever?
Sunday, September 13, 2009
There are many functions which myths perform in our society, for one they keep us entertained, and some times keep us happy and jovial for myths are created so that every one who is/can be a part of a culture can understand the story as well as the morals/philosophy behind it.
Another function that myths prepare us with is, they give a structure to the world we know. There is no need to worry or panic; when we enter this world for myths establish that there have been many more weirder things which have happened on this planet, and that we can keep the status quo engaged. Basically they keep our attention fixed directly on this and only this level of consciousness- actually their basic function can be said to keep the consciousness in an elevated state, but that is the downfall of every unsuccessful myth.
Myths are also distortions and exhalations of natural awkward events which have happened on the earth, accounts of aliens and unidentified flying objects and people with power hunger who wanted to be larger than life, equivalent to gods. Well all these people expressed the worlds story through a mythological story.
The myth is also as i already said an agent to elevate and hold attention at a particular state of consciousness, but this rarely happens for one must understand the esoteric and often very intricate hidden meanings-symbols-Theosophy used in creation of myths-often impossible to do.
Carl Jung saw like many the hidden meaning and indeed the power of a myth, according to him the underlying creation of a myth entails certain facets of inner psyche works-basically called archetypes. The same archetypes are claimed to be called gods and goddesses of the old.
The simplified archetypes remain the child, the devil and indeed the great nourishing mother goddess. All formed from certain common parts of every working human beings brain.
Even this blog like many writings in the world, tries to uphold the power of myths. Myths finally and most importantly are something which others are not, they are secretive, mystical and not understood/contemplated by everyone to the same degree-hence not held important enough also. But this is the source of power of a archetype or even "gods" . To choose a myth into reality only power in the form of attention has to be provided. and the rest happens like a miracle.
Myths are here to save us, from a life of monotony and boredom. of non-change (if we really wish to see the true meaning of the myth)
Myths are here to teach and guide; from those people who have undergone many experiences in many difficult turbulent times, and frames of mind. To pay proper attention to the story of the myth is to understand it, from your soul, be one with it, to empathize and put in energy in it. and then to see it come alive with every single individuals energy poured in it, this is what makes a myth larger then even life. It has to.. to survive the passing of time
humanity faces its head hung down for entire eternity; Judge not lest ye be judged.
But what if I chose but once? Not needing, never requiring, always choosing.
What is to be. Not be.
We have massive attention put to try to stay in status quo. Neither reaching for the stars, nor digging it all the way to the core. What am I to make of this? That we claim to be the masters of this world, and yet our fear drives us into inertia?
Change now lest you be changed before
Simplified and over qualified for this planet and its mundane existance. Didnt you see it like this?
There is a picture of you and your clan in your head, the restaurants and the public parks, the food mania and the liquor downpour, but all this is sheer waste- for you choose to see not what these had been if you were not here.
A world so perfect; i can only imagine without the possibility of mankind. Earth has only become worse, more chaotic and filthier with humanity posing as a saint, trying to keep its devilish tail fit comfortably between its crotch.
For what are the means justifiable to an end? We are facing the end, and all the means we have taken have left us no where but to cry for help.
Shaken from grass roots, thats how we feel now. what with those tornadoes and meteors from the sky, from the bombs in the minds of men, and the poison needle in peoples vain.
What are we to make of all of this? evolution, devolution, surprise demise.
I like to think of places and things and beings without the presence of humans involved in it.
They ruin it for you and for me. with the rage and the hate, the guilt and the shame, the greed and the lust. They are like you, like I. but not just yet. We have a chance to pull out of this vicious circle of ignorance, yea we chose it and we can unlearn it just as well. There is a time frame for us, called the mortal coil. when its undone then its time for us to leave existence and shift pace to nothingness, until then lets practice what we dont preach. for what we preach is poison to the young ones of our society, it is poison for the old and the dying. and its poison from the very mouth it comes out.
There are no masters of self, here and now and its left to lepers like us to pick up the pieces of the one time grand reckoning, something we noticed and we couldnt speak, something we felt and we could never recollect. This is the eagles emanations. The last sensual life moment in our entire history of civilization. The witnessing of the glory of insignificance.
Where are we in the scheme of things? Indifference is to big a word used for our existance in this vast universe. Each universe a verse/story of the grander
Eagles emanations cannot be seen directly, thats sheer oblivion., you can only gaze indirectly at craft for flight. Take off for a new high, the world is too small to realize. I talk only of my self, my inner shine.
Time to celebrate like never ever before,
days go by and the tandav continues,
with or without you in the frame
Saturday, September 5, 2009
There- it lies, further beyond the scope of your eyes.
Thine is the shape of fire; path binding you down, down down to the pyre.
Inquiry into existence, shows no hope to survive. Till we clench metal, bone to bone; till we rise.
The wind, it has taken me past the world, into another time, into a new life.
And all I have done is look up, at the picture in frame, a spot for the fool, sheer spotlight of divine white light. Luna you pull me up, lift and bring life. In these vacant moods, you splendid moon are the lover of mine.
Bring your tailor fit madness into the world would you? I would just to catch a glimpse by even the corner of my eye. To make oneself, the moon channels and draws, your profile. your mind.
Moon beams, they change not with time, the gentle white. Its all here and now, Wow, what a freak out ride. Staring at the moon, looking through this paradox, think am daydreaming again, just that its night...
Takers and Makers, look up once and give up your worldly ties. Take it to another level, press that lever in your mind. Let luna take over, let lunacy prevail in our sight.
Oh this just is not another night. you are drowned in nectar, that sensation-undefined with undertones of flight.
Pack it all up, launch it to full on now.
Freak out under the bright shining rocks glimmer.
Your makers here.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Yea air does the trick, and even water.. perhaps food and sex as well.. you know what I am talking about. The needs syndrome, the addictive life. Most people freak out when I tell them 'why do you need air to live?' as in, I am sure, we could have existed without it, but the element was so goddam addictive, that we built a nose to trip on it all the time.
But more than all these things, I find humans have this unique moronic ability to trip on something which ought to be kept as away from yourselves until you have some sense... power it is.
What the hell is power? Its an ego trip? making you better? Bigger? stronger? Making you?
Yea, its all of that, we consume food, so we can have power (thats what food is actually right..carbohydrates) and etc.
But why this incessent need to contol? and why the addiction to power? Power to subdue and subjugate others.. thats a long favorite with humanity.. we made something called money for that purpose. So we can feel,think and in the end be supposedly better/stronger/POWERFULL than others around us.
Why cant we live at the mercy of life? is that confusing you? It isn't so bad, take another view.
You can say life is cruel, merciless, its a quest for the survival for the fittest and all that last generation bull fuck. You tell me, we make money so we won't be like the people who live in slums, and under fly overs, who jump in the yamuna filth to retrace 1 rupee coins..
But I look at it another way, it was the incessent self centered bane need of humans, to grab power, and that meant grab the life force power of other people/life forms essentially to make themselves feel/think/be better or whatever.
It is a wicked standpoint, I mean do look at your personal life.. how much of it is inspired by the cheap junkie addiction to power. You wanna do better than others, get what you want at whatever cost it seems. Dont give a shit about other life, in truth.. you dont have a clue of what life really is.
For I have been made to see that life is not built upon these addictive substances... air water food and sitting on the pot everyday. It in truth is the genuine bliss of being. That does and doesnt require power. and that is a difficult statement to explain.
For power is the goal and the destination to be avoided. But one must mold themselves to such a state of being. Its not easy especially when all the major demands your tiny brain faces in a day are to acquire menial cruel power not for the betterment of one spirit, but rather Your spirit.
Morbid I am not, but it requires a sense of clarity to see what is power, feel it and even use it.
Most people do realize in instinctual level, that power can be seen/felt/known even if they dont know jack of what that is. But what they don't know is that power makes heroin feels like a purry little kitty cat when it comes to addiction and demise.
If you are blessed with unlimited power and to do as required. I urge you to dispose it off, to give it to as many as there are. For that is the true wisdom of power. This goes for your mental stigmas of hierarchy, your physical stimuli and your spiritual insights.
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