A Last Drink to Die

 

The flower opens up its delicate petals. Only to be met wit conceit and deceit (This world’s special seat). Perhaps the innocence has to be shovelled in a grave filled by dirt – for it to really know what it was truly worth?

Walked a hundred miles and a hundred more – looking for a tavern where I may lose my hope for sure. To sit with a numbing drink in my hand and listen to the jester sing about the day’s frivolity no end. To make merry and then fight lose and get bruised. A last drink before they throw me onto the streets for sure?

Picked up from falling stupor - asleep - by the golden dew struck sunlight (too bright). A toothless grinning pauper my friend for the day to dine. Sly conversation and makes merry with the morning flavour of wine. And I devilishly dervish around his words with my heart; opened pedestal by pedestal – giving a match for the sure shot sunshine.

No sin in repeating and replenishing the favour. The maidens refill the cup a thousand times. Many a company I have seen and passed by. But perhaps with you my old friend; A last drink before I die.

Since when does the moth question the flame; or the bee run past the flower on the vase? Since when does the innkeeper refuse the customer for a drink to dismiss his ignorant deeds? I have not known the world’s ways now too sure to start. I have not seen those who will ever give up their drink to the dying souls choosing to depart? (all done wilfully)

Maybe to be taken as a pessimist in search of god to scoff at his creation and will. Perhaps a romantic losing his poignant charm and selfless love to thrill (his beloved). Perhaps the fool who has undertaken experience as a chore (and now wishes for nevermore). Could be yourself in the guise of a body of a man/woman – who doesn’t really know why they are born to die here any more lives anymore.

So I wish for a last drink before I die. Tonight is the only one given to me; so let me drink be merry and say my last goodbye. Tomorrow shall never come with the overlooking plague; war and lovelorn heart all conjuring up some my way. Let me pray humble and kneel on broken faltered knees – look to the northern star, close my eyes and spread divine love through my sweet lips. Press the cup tender, make love and let it go so I may be buried perhaps in an unnamed grave. Somewhere on the periphery of this night tavern where the weary stop to reminisce their lost-ness. Maybe on the edges of a greyed sombre silent night. Giving up one’s life. For the love for the sublime in sight.

Peace.

 

 

 

 

Dream Force II

This is another very surreal and powerful dream which I had today afternoon; It was completely out of the world and hence I thought it would be kind to jot it down.
The dream starts with My folks and I, in some weird cave or underground structure- we are supposedly looking for some relics or perhaps its some holy power place *its very weird that I get to have someone I know-especially my parents in the dream-most times characters are sketched purely from imagination*.
We are looking around and suddenly I guess, my hands hold a photo/paper of some sort which has loads of bodies piled into the mud-some carcasses could be seen while others are inside. This is supposedly some sort of a holy picture. Suddenly out of the blue (characteristic of dreams)- a girl- in her teens-or perhaps younger is in front of us, the place is extremely dingy and it perhaps is a dungeon only. The girl looks at the photo in my hand and says that is the holy shrine where many such holy people (referring to the carcasses in the photo) are buried... here itself. She continues that there are so many saints/holy people buried here, but they are coming out of the seams, for no one has taken any care to bury them properly. My parents are a bit freaked out, but she continues, she is very powerful I could feel- she has an aura- we find her in this dungeon where there are only dead everywhere- she says that she comes here for the same purpose perhaps which we have come for- she says she enjoys being here- the power and the dispair or something to that effect. She says its almost her second home. She offers then to take us on a ride on the underground train (of some sort) to see the holy bodies. My parents refuse; and I get inside this yellow submarine sort of train- another character joins us- its a little girl- my mind now tells me that she has been there the whole time perhaps- I just did not bring her to attention- so its me, this young cute girl and this powerful teen/pre-teen and the train starts up.
I think that the train will go deeper underground, but it comes to the surface suddenly and now speeds like an am-trak device on regular tracks- there are people on the tracks- who cannot see or hear us coming and they one after other do get too close or come under the tracks (???)... I cannot see this- well none of us three can, and we decide to get off the train at some point and make our way to the entrance of the cave structure- here I meet my folks once again, and the powerful girl makes her way to somewhere and back to say good bye- my parents look at her very suspiciously- as if to ask what is this girl doing in this crypt and how does she know so much about it, and well I look at her and she winks at me and I wink at her and tell her through my eyes, see you here in the crypt as soon as possible lol!
Pretty weird indeed and I am not even trying any combinations of rational possibilities to this dream. Most of my afternoon dreaming is like this, and as surreal and intense as this- due to which I really don't figure out that its a dream (unlike my night dreams) cause i am so mesmerized and involved in the whole tapestry of my mind (I hope its my mind).
Peace

Dream Force

I had a weird dream yesterday night; was out having a drink on my friend joy's birthday and came back home late. Slept later than usual too, and I had a very long (in dream time) uninterrupted dream (after a very long time- nowadays- i get up abruptly during dreaming-perhaps because of not having enough energy to sustain the dream through). Well yesterday was different, and as usual the dream (particular to me) I had; did not have anyone I recognize, I remember, I know or could imagine, also the places and indoors were not the least bit recognizable- this has been characteristic to my dreaming as long as I care to remember.
Another weird and very characteristic thing which happens in my dreams (as it happened yesterday too)- is that in between the dream- there is some sort of weird energy/force or something which does not belong there in the setting which materializes, like maybe a flying man, or some object which attracts all my attention or maybe a weird looking thing (cannot be characterized as living or dead)- let me illustrate with the latest dreaming I had...
So I am with a bunch of seven young (pretty, hot, wild) japanese/chinese girls, they are all some sort of kung-fu dudettes (and no, I have not been watching erotica or shaolin movies or any other such combination!)- these women are all possessed with some sort of super-natural powers; as usual I am there with them, but my image is non-existent and I am only like a camera following the dream like a play/movie in my head.
The women are stalked by evil things- there are a series of them, one after the other- the first one is a deadly witch looking woman- who comes and tries to kill them one after another- there is one girl in particular who I like, and we are all running away and she falls behind and I go back to pick her up; and the witch catches up by that time- so we start fighting her (well I am looking and not really fighting but it feels like it)- and the other girls notice this and come back and put up a fight and we win and the witch succumbs.
So, after her there is another creature, (i now don't remember what happened with it), after some action sequences we find out that the real evil creature- some sort of long haired eunuch maniac is there left still, and it is after us now. So it comes attacks the girls one by one and here comes the vagary in the dream- the out of context *even for this dream* force- this evil creature has a mask with it, so it attacks the girls one by one with a pin of sort (a long white slender pin) with which he pricks 'em and then like a syringe puts the pin to the mask it holds. The mask absorbs (I feel it, and this is how you can recognize that this is out of context/power in the dream) the soul or part of soul or energy of the girl and shes out cold. The mask becomes more alive when its fed with the energy of these girls, I remember focusing on it and seeing that initially its inert and after getting fed once/twice; the face adorns emotion and it twitches and becomes more colorful and alive- it also increases in its surface size. Its a sort of Buddhist terror mask but somehow a bit off from what i have seen. The evil creature seizes all the girls and the mask now is all powerful, its glowing... the creature comes for me, and I know I am to die now... but the dream thought as usual interrupts dream logic and concludes that I am but a camera to this reality show- and I cannot die, none the less the pin touches 'me' and then the evil dude sits in front of me and feeds the mask more power. I can see it, as the incapicated girls lie all around...
The dream is kick ass and it continues and shows that my favorite japanese gal is somehow faintly alive, she musters energy and comes and kicks the creature, she takes over the mask and feeds all the power (I can again feel this transfer taking place) to herself and her friends including me, we are alive again and without the mask the evil thing is dead. The dream ends by itself and before another one starts; I wake up with the entire thing fresh in my head.

What I like about such dreams are the out of context dream-forces which come and start playing havoc in our dream space. I to the best of my knowledge believe that these are conscious entities which enter our dream and our dream attention is naturally drawn to them because they are more energetically able... and they feed on the energy of our attention in turn... I don't know how to properly confront or use or become one of these dreaming forces but unfortunately for me; I have had countless number of them in almost all the vivid dreaming I have ever done. Maybe someone with dreaming knowledge/understanding can help me out.

Peace and Joy!

Mukteshwara: DreamReality

There are two parts to every story, if you care to look at it closely enough. Most of us see half a picture and move on to the next frame, mechanical almost, but when something (I personally just call it power or life energy) makes your head turn and take notice; then we cant be foolish enough to ignore it once more.

Well enough bull crap, This story starts up in a dream, which I had somewhere early in 2008, In the dream, I am with a group of people, perhaps trekkers or campers or such and we are going to a hill station or something like that. We go and check in to some hotel or such which I remember and then we set out to go and explore, I remember that we go down hill at first and then start climbing, in the next scenes I am alone and I am somewhere which I know distinctly, before this dream I had seen a place which I wanted to visit.. a temple on a hill station, on tv or perhaps read about it, this temple hill's name is un clear to me after this dream event. Anyways I am walking on the path which leads to this hill temple in the dream now alone, and there is a slight incline and it leads to this temple. Now I wake up. 

Some months after this dream, I guess perhaps 2-3 months later; my folks start up to a trip with my visiting relatives mainly my dubai mama and his family (mami and shreyas). We head out to naukhuchiataal in uttarakand where we planned to stay for around a week in solitude. This is mountain region but is relatively low, hence it is a haven of lakes nestled in between hills. Naukhuchiataal is such, close to which are bheemtal, sattal and the very famous nainitaal. We over the course of week visited all these places. The relative quietude which one gets next to a body of water, is immense especially for city folks like myself. 

On the last day of our visit, we start of for mukteshwar.. This is at a great height, there is a very famous shiva temple as the name points out, which is on the mukteshwar peek. The height of this hillock is around 2300 mts up in the air. It takes us around 3 hours to reach this place. There is a small town in the vicinity of the temple, and a animals research institute as well, the temples entrance is blocked with the government school and there is a small winding upward path which leads from next to this school to the very top of this hill where the temple is situated. We get whored by youth from the village who in the season time generally make some money by showing people the temple and the adjacent attractions, but I am never in a mood for such indulgence, preferring to explore any and all places by myself with my own senses. 

But older and lesser patient people are never in such a mood so we end up taking a dick who just speaks about day to day events of mukteshwar and hasn't any intelligent answers to intelligent questions :)

We take off our shoes and make our way upwards, I am at side of my mother who finds it a bit difficult to walk up hill. There is a small shrine before the main temple, The main temple itself has a very small sanctum, its basically a small village shrine, which due to its power has got famous, well the view from this height is awesome as an understatement, there are hundreds of bells tied together outside the sanctum, I enter the temple and see a pandit (who looks like from kashmir) saying beautiful mantras towards the shiva linga, the linga is white stone and is very small. mukteshwara deva looks peaceful and powerful. I along with my family sit and meditate for a long time, then take due exit and explore the surroundings of this hill top. We click a lot of beautiful photos as well... 

There is a small hut just below this temple and we see that there is a lady talking to a relatively old baba. I pay little attention and see the place to do it full justice, soon my folks and relatives have crowded next to the baba ji, and as true peaceful Indians, paid obeisance and started polite conversation.. 

I arrive later and see that the young lady who was discussing something with the babaji take leave, apparently she had come from muzzafarabad to this place to seek a cure for some illness which her husband had been suffering from, babaji was famous. 

He was perhaps bengali by his accent, in his late 60's of good height and a very very very jovial natured face. He was resplendent with a permanent glowing smile. He gave us some sweet prasad to eat and he discussed what my family and its members did for a long time, we were impressed.. each and every working mind of my family was impressed with his love perhaps. His being. 

He was a disciple of Nagaraja Babaji, who is true love incarnate as it is said, he had a book in hindi about babaji which he showed to my father and I, he invited us inside the kutiya and told that there was another beautiful photo of his guru there, which when I entered saw. He had a little cot and small insignificant articles, There was a deepish hole in one end of the room through one of the walls. Babaji kindly explained with deep smiles that every night he entered this hole and went kilometres below to patala loka. He was very very happy and I loved his being for that. 

He talked about the end of the world and how he knew who the perpetrators of this were, he said it was a secret and whether we wanted to know who would cause the end of the world, we were very inquisitive but he never let out the secret as you would expect a good jnani to do:))

Now to the interesting part, when he met me this babaji told me that he had seen me before, and he asked me very diligently whether I had been there and then he affirmed yea son you had come here.. I looked and replied that when he said he has seen me, then he would not be wrong. 

Later in conversation when we were almost about to depart, he again said that I had visited here before, but that the last time I had come there to this temple, I was afraid and I didnt visit him properly and that I ran off. When he uttered this, something struck in my mind, though I didnt say anything to babaji, but while returning down and putting on my shoes, I told my mother about the fact that I had a dream in the recent past. Perhaps babaji was awake doing sadhana in the night and saw the dreamer had wandered over to the temple, and before I could do my sadhana there for mukteshwara, I woke up. By fear of the vividness of the dream... 

There is always two sides to a story, A dream and A reality. The point is to figure out which is which. 

Dream~For My Love Tara

I had this vivid dream quite a while back, but the intensity and the sheer bizarre-ness of it had me impressed very much.

The dream starts here on earth, and I am to be a part of some type of astronauts space mission team, so I remember that I am spending time with them and we are kind of training in those gravity devices which make you spin real fast, soon I am in third person view and we are in a space shuttle, all the people in the shuttle are wearing their suits, but there is one person, who I see as Sai Baba, who is without a space suit and he is doing fine, we land in some weird planet, perhaps Jupiter cause thats what I remember thinking. 

Sai baba gets out first from the capsule and as I am seeing the site in third person view I see him get out and walk around, the people from the shuttle come behind him and they and I are amazed that sai ram doesn't need any oxygen or so to walk around. 

Now I follow him, trailing behind him to see where he is going. He leads "us" to a huge ravine, where there is a river of sorts flowing below, very deep ravine and huge mountains on the other side. I remember the whole planet is sort of yellow magenta and red in color, and that is why perhaps I think it might be Jupiter. 

Suddenly I start seeing myself flying in a distance over the river in the ravine and I am ecstatic at this event, I see that  i am flying high and fast near the mountains and then I swoop down low and slow near the river, but Lo! what is this I see, there is another person, a lady. my love Tara who also is flying and she comes very close to me, as if we are to collide, and yes we do many a time in mid air, sometimes near the river so below, and sometimes high up in the air, whilst we are flying in air all the time, its kind of a tango, a space tango.. The sight in my dreams was vivid to say the least, it left me spellbound. At first I couldnt imagine what was happening then soon I realized it was a spiritual union happening in pure ether. 

The dreams reality had me awake in a moon where I was sheer gratitude towards my lover Tara. 

Peace and Love

In Dreams** 11 May 2009

Any person who has spent time with anthropological concerns, or even with myth realizes that human mind pays a lot of attention to morphed beings, beings who are half human & perhaps half animal or half alien. Let me give you an example : there is the famous lord hanuman, lord ganesha, garuda the vehicle of vishnu, and so on. These are present in all famous cultures; or at least some form of them. The question is why humans pay attention to such morphed creatures, is it that they are a part of the external and they exist? These morphed bodies and spirits? or that some part of the human brain is still trying to androgynous with creatures of his/her past. Our ancestors so to speak.

I had vivid dreams all through the day, though i had spent all the time sleeping in deep sleep or so it seemed to be. But in reality the fatigue (mental) was much yet the rem sleep was not affected as I understand. All my day time dreaming is vivid generally especially the one done in afternoon. I find it a nuisance at times mainly because of the depth of tiredness one experiences when one is finished dreaming in the day. 

I dreamt that I was present in some huge ground of sorts, which had meandering roads up and down. it was a hilly area, a desertish sorts dune. I am walking and suddenly I look back at the road, there is an object initially which is present which soon enough converts itself to a cat or something like that and then again to an owl, i can notice the morphing in front of my eyes, and it is disturbing to some extent. When I recall the event from my memory, it was perhaps also an addition of colors on the body of the animal when it was being converted. Then it moves in front; well flies really like a big owl couple of flaps of its wings and its on the other side of the road, and it sits there and there is a small road side hutment present or just made when i gaze at the owl. The owl is no more and the hutment is a small temple. I go there and sit in front of it and start praying or doing worship of some sorts. Suddenly there are 3 people behind me sitting, I don't know any of them (as is the case of most of my dreaming activities). They are noticing me dreaming and I look behind to them. They comment at me; saying that this is not how worship ought to be performed, that this was regular not out of the bounds of a man in stupor. It wasn't special, that is what i got of their conversation and then i pick up and leave, these people follow me, they take out knives from underneath their shirts and they come behind me to hurt me. I start running and find a building of perhaps 5 floors or so, all the floors have window parapets or shades of some sorts, i to hide from them somehow go up to the top parapet, I do not know how I reach there, perhaps I will to be there and hence I am. I look downward and see those 3 people below still searching for me, yet they are not able to catch me. 

My dream now undergoes a complete transition to another set of dreams. This leads to another vivid dream in turn. 

I have many times seen this change happening to objects or animals or humans where one turns to another especially in vivid dreaming. Perhaps others have too 

Peace