Another Chance Received-II

So, this is another blunder committed (and this could be a repentance in the form of inflicting pain to any/all who read this lol )
The setting is manali, some 6 years back... traveling with my folks and seeing that beautiful heaven on earth first time. We stayed back in old manali, in a beautiful resort in the winters and the entire time the place was snow struck. something so beautiful; always under appreciated with words. Over the course of a week, i traveled in kullu valley, from roerichs residence (who is a powerful painter- and some of his paintings are kept in this summer house of his) to various old temples in old manali, to rothang- till the point snow covered the entire road. The journey in kullu valley with the beas flowing so serenly everywhere- its definitely should be on everyones travel list while in india/visiting india.
Anyways, one of the days we got out with our driver and went to look for some pretty temples, en route we stopped over near the road; to catch up a little wood temple which looked pretty old. The caretakers there (who also lived there), were gracious people- entertaining us with the myth of the temple and serving us tea (mountain people- none so gentle/innocent as them). They told us about a cave which resided at the top of the mountain behind the temple. There was a proper trekking route which also lead to arjuna gufa, as they put it. This is where the pandavas roamed around extensively before they ascended to heaven from kedarnath- arjuna spent some time in the cave at the top of the hill, in summers many people ascended to sit and meditate in the cave (with goat/sheep hearders as well), but winters was more of a downtrodden affair.
All i can justify myself with is that i was young and naive and most probably blown stupid out of my head :D
So i take leave of my folks and gracious temple people, and start up on the small un walkable route which led up to the cave, though i thought i might not be able to make it all the way up; yet there was enough in me to get me to a beautiful height, and if i did it have in me, i could be the only one in a cave so far away from the existence i knew. This is what propelled me up at incredible speed. I was wearing sandals with socks, and they didnt have the best grip i do believe. But these trivialities didnt strike me then.
I climb for some 45 minutes without a break, the path is hardly a water stream (which is how the path had been formed i guess), and extremely steep and ofcourse extremely dangerous, i am a mountain kid (or so i would like to believe), and i liked the challenge, when i take to a mountain- i like to climb it, no other way about it. The power of the mountain propels me upwards, till i reach the summit. this was the case here as well.
I reach a greater height, and i see that there is ice (not snow) all over the path in front- the small path is convoluted, and now there is no mud to grip, only ice. This is where i admit i make a mistake, i should have slowly turned around and descended, i try to climb on th ice, and i go some 2-3 steps on the incline, and i slip (as if that was not on the cards), and fall on my ass and slide on the iced water stream path- i forgot to tell, that the path is on the edge, a single slip and you fall all the way down to the temple (a long way down i say), and thats how i almost slip and fall, i slide, and my legs are hanging over the edge, il tell you (as this is a repentance of sorts lol )- the way i did not actually fall down that day, is i grabbed a small twig - plant (the only one present where i fell as i remember), and held it to hold my weight, it did and i didnt fall off the cliff.. i am deeply thankful for that plant and for the energies on that hill which didnt see my arrogance in trying to climb to the meditation place as so bad as to kill me off (this is factual- the mountain dont like you- it will throw you down. i have understood that much atleast)
I take a moment, and breathe, atleast i am not sliding anymore, i use the same twig, to climb some steps down, and then hold on and wrestle with the mud around the ice, to bring my feet back to non-iced ground. I silently make my way back down. I return, and this time i do need that delicious cup of tea. I sit and look up to see where i was, it was a very long distance up. and of course would have been a very swift free fall.


Love and Peace 

Another Chance received

This happened while I was in manipal- second year or so, and it was such a surprise (to say the least).

This was the second time i was traveling to gokarna, which I personally understand as heaven on earth, i remember that I (accompanied with alap)- left on a saturday evening- taking the train, and had the mind to just chill out at the beach for some hours and catch the late night(early morning) train back to manipal - the distance being meager at just 2.5 hours odd by train. It was the perfect chill out scene, we boarded and reached gokarna stataion, in time- this is around 16 or more kilometers from the small religious town. We took a share cab to the town, where we headed to the beach- i took some time off to goto the precious beautiful gokarna-ishwara temple. We took upto a shack on the corners of this beautiful beach- i remember it was around holi, as soon we saw (almost ethereal looking) group of firangs; with long matted hair coming- playing flutes and little guitars asking all the shack owners for bhang and bhang related drinks lol :). Holi being the only time across india, where this product is freely available and accepted. We relaxed for a long time and struck up a conversation with the shack owner, the asswipe realized that we had come for no good reason- to chill out and (him) being drunk, started going off tangentially to different topics ranging from how unsafe gokarna was, and how deaths to tourists were common, and that; if we were to head back late at night to the station, should take an auto et all back. He takes initiative and goes gets another drunk person (pretending to be an auto walla)- who further start threatening and such. So we cut our party short, give some assurance that we will be back later to take the auto, and head off. These guys are piss drunk and pissed for not making us a bakra- and we get the intuition that this auto person goes to the auto stand, and tells all the drunkards there that we didnt cooperate in getting our money swindled by them. Autos kind of (as we imagine atleast) start following us through the town, and we are pretty unnerved, so we head to the bus stop- and there are no buses late night as we find out. We didnt have the mood to take a share auto-cab, cause we really didnt have any idea of what the scene in small towns like these is (sometimes there are pretty strong mafias- in hippie towns like gokarna et all... something which i have witnessed in goa as well- almost anywhere where foreign currency is valued more, and hence foreign skin as well). We start our walk back in the night- all the way back to the gokarna road station. I must tell you, the walk back in the night over some 16 km- through thick wild western ghat jungles- mixed with hills and lakes and what not- is very haunting, it was good that alap accompanied me, cause all through the journey we encounter some thousand odd house dogs, who run right in the middle of the road with teeth jarring out ready to mince meat us; alap is bloody psycho- he barks and shows his teeth back to these dumbass house pets, and they actually get freaked out. lol :) I actually cowered the entire journey behind the freak, so that dogs wouldnt bite me - something i dont think i will forget ever. We reach the station at some 12-1 at night, there is not a single soul alive anywhere for kilometers at end, the western ghats become very haunted at night, they are sparcely populated- lack of light and human habitation and very very weird vibes from the jungles abound. Something very intriguing indeed. I remember we complete the walk in one go, no rest anywhere (except at the start)- we were tired, and just shocked at the incidents preceding the walk. something to keep us alert till the time we reached back to the station. 

The gokarna road station is very peculiar, it is a side road extending deep into jungle for 2 odd kilometers diverted from the main road, its desolate is an understatement. Its haunted, and the station is barren, no night keeper or anyone. Most trains dont stop here, and hence no need for a station attendant. The night is young and we realize that we need to get some sleep before the train (scheduled at around 4 in the morning came). Alap dozes off on the platform floor (another feature of the stations which come after maharashtra- on the west coast all the way to kerala is- their abundant cleanliness, their quite charm.. out of the world) and in sometime even i hit the floor (quite literally) putting my knapsack behind my head for some cushion and hit dreamland,

now this is where the fun comes in, I suddenly get up with some weird loud noises out of hell marching through my ears, my head and soul. as soon as i come back to reality, the first thing i notice is that alap is also in the same condition some distance away from me, and both of us were some 2 odd feet from the platform end-tracks- where a huge fast bogey train (carrying supplies) runs at incredible speed. We actually slept quite a far distance away from the platform end, and both of us somehow in our stupor sleep slipped up to very close to the tracks-very very close, a foot closer (my head was actually at the platforms end-so horrible i tell you, even today when i remember it) and i would be crushed beyond belief by the goods train. I get up to my feet before i can even remember anything else, and run away from the monster. 

We catch our scheduled train two hours later (the train was very late)- and reach back to our hostel beds just in time for some more sleep. The night just went by, and so did the days after this trip till one day i realized that i was actually very close to my death, something which didnt hit me till a long time after. Its been very nice to be given another chance, for i alone know (dont know about alap really) that this was such a close close call for my head and my life. 

Peace.

Styx

Born and die, why not? all of you have had not enough of dying for a lie.
Caussation and ceassation, dont you see that your perception inadequate is going to give up on you.
Let me clarify, be your fucking guide. Show you the other side.
Dont, Not just yet, Dont close your eyes.. Has it that the truth has brought upon distaste on that once smirking smile?
You live for a miniscule amount. You oh so full of yourself. On your rapturous nincompoup of a brain. Which cannot fathom what is and what you cannot ever be.
Please, dont stop the praise on this account, go ahead and glorify your body, and your frivolous mind. See that you are smarter prettier better than any around. Go ahead dig your own fucking funeral pyre. I would love to see that. To see how you failed to see something as grand, as big, as possible as life and still go and die.
Take it from me, the path you are living is a fucking life of a maggot. Nothing different or grand. Your play, it revolves around such small parts. such small defiled thoughts. That even with a guide like I, there is no chance, no chance in hell that you could spot the bulls-eye of life.

Arrogance you see in this read, for it is your ego which acts up like never before. again the same doledrum situation of I I I I. where is this I of yours when you are sans body, only dust? Where is this great I when the orgasm is reached with your lover. Cant you see that I is everywhere, in every single part seen and unseen/unknown. The I is constant. It shifts only from I to I. Why pay such huge respect to something as pathethic as this, which fades away with a dimension of time.
Death and only death is reality. Your I crumbles in front of it. You are but your former self with death on the prowl. You can try to change and make your life something which your I would not be a part of. That you could let be. Without this childish crib of I I and more I.

I will be you guide through the lovely styx. The river which leads to hell and ever further down. As the furnace envelops and the stench grows, your rotting head and corpse will be fit to be dealt with. Here Now, this river which quietly burns everything to nothing. I shall take you for a ride. Showing you the scene of your minds, those fucking petty thoughts and actions which you oh-so glorified.
Your life is a sham, the people in it misers. No one a sufi, No one a lover. You havent and will never encounter those who breathe not air, but life. for those people could not stand the sight of your shadow. Much alone that pretty little face burning up high.

" Those of you who die first, atleast I can say that you had an element of luck to be dissolved back into nothing before the world could ever decipher your lack of life"