Monday, November 26, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Welcome to the portal, grid which opens up at the castle of hate. Where the demon is bidding his time in utter ignorance, and his son praying for you to come over and take the pain away from his panging heart. The son praying and crying. Liberate me; for I cannot stand the ego which harms me keeping me away from this beautiful god-head, this eternal love making. I cannot be localized says prahalada to narsimha, he prays in his deep cave and hopes to fie
Narsimha the beautiful mighty therianthrope. The mixture of divine will coming through the wormhole inside the pillar. He explode in fiery rapture; a description of a thousand suns still paling. He rips open the demon through and plays with his entrails. This is gory weird imagination for a god, He is the guru; some say. Pure power manifest and all the angelic other worldly beings exclaiming in some sort of fear? The gods come down to the upper hills on nalla malai (The dark mountain, where the master comes forth to break down the castle in one of his so called ten manifestations to save humanity) to pacify this mighty entity. The world shakes and the vibrations immense. Is this some sort of Energy release. Nuclear in nature. From no where comes the wild beast inside the wild dark jungles. And it claims your liberation and death in sight!
He is ugra, utterly angry; He comes to show what even demons could relate to. Fear ofcourse - he has come down to clean up the putrid filth of ego dominant hate. This self loathing, has to go. Has to be removed from the gut. From our insides; Lord Narsimha is the archetype and perhaps a true deity of the past (for even our archetypes could not come up with this form of imagery in normal state of life lived?)
He is placated to by prahalada, his devotee and all the gods and saints. Narsimha looks for his partner, the surreal power of goddess coming down as a nymph village woman, the feminine energy in this case the only way to placate this mighty consciousness power endowed.
I like his imagery a lot, not cause its violent or blatant display of power, but to me he is a god like no other. The master of yoga and siddhi. He is both the surreal root to meditate for liberation, never ending power and grace. He is tantric in nature and likes to create a mood of a warrior within his devotee, this coupled with love for the lord/nature and his/her/its way of dealing with itself is unique and beautiful to say the least. You can fall deeply in the love for nature divine, and you can verily see this amidst the beautiful nalla malai hills of AP, where narsimha took birth. to liberate the fools who again played ego games on earth!
Upper aho bhalam, at the place of power of rudra ugra narsimha. they say you can go near a little lake, still a bit red cause of the blood which flows out of narsimhas’s claws. I was not able to visit this upper reach temple made within this dark mountain to this ancient powerful archetype. But I understood enough. the trek in the night, the sleeping under the barren rock; like snakes watching night skies. Suddenly the earth roars and rips open. Your insides are almost twitching; the aura cleansed and the chakras infused by the power of the ancient lord hari coming down once again. I like this immensely.
Love and Peace
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
I got a beautiful opportunity with the grace of my folks to visit another shaktipith in the center of AP in kurnool district some 200 odd kilometers away from the metro city of Hyderabad where I put up currently. The place is a small village called alampur which hosts a very old and serene temple for the mother goddess - with the name jogulamba.
Most of my visits to any beautiful places have been planned almost by the mother herself. She doesn't give me prior information nor intimation, and just puts me to see such pretty sights that I am spell bound.
This is where the front upper teeth of the mother energy - Sati fell post her dissection and burning (the myth). Basically these places hold some sort of natural and divine feminine power - the power which makes other places around seem some way less powerful.
The temple is a very old sight, placed peacefully at the banks of Tunga Bhadra river dam (I imagine). Very old bathing ghats to see, and the temple is an awesome delight for any anthropologist, cultural observer and of course tantriks.
It seemed to me that it was a shakti worship sight - the sanctum made in a way exactly how the orissa temples are - with a circular dome and a beautiful rocket like structure. The interior walls are made by huge stones - and I saw many many sculptures of the 64 Yoginis. The yogini cult and its worship was exclusively a tantrik mode where these yoginis were shaktis who were assistants or younger/later energies to the center power present there.
The mother goddess herself looks very pretty and her front teeth accentuated by her fang like upper teeth protruding itself.
I was told that this temple was desecrated by muslim invaders and during the period the mothers statue was stored with the shiva linga present inside, so it woundnt be destroyed. A new beautiful small peaceful temple aside to the banks of the lake has now been formed post 2005. Perhaps the idol is a new one (but it seemed older and of course more ferocious).
I spent some time looking at the carvings, the original temple would have had the two demonesses chanda and munda - guarding the goddess (now they are outside the shiva linga).
The temple has a resounding calm and quiet to it. Old trees and the setup very much like ancient oriya shakti temples which I have seen earlier. Gave me a grand feeling. I visited during evening twilight and the place was lit up with neon lights and the grand reservoir next gave a surreal and calming feeling beyond my expectations!
I bowed in reverence and holding a deep sigh. Devi has been kind to show me sights, yet never a deeper connection to the earth and herself. I have been unfruitful in deepening the sadhana which she so naturally is providing. I feel downtrodden and perhaps mother at Alampur would give the needed grace to overcome obstacles. To overcome oneself and make it free.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
I got a super! feeling this rainy day Monday. I will dawn my mask of masks and disappear amidst the snowy misty haze. Beneath this dark rain – I will dance in the streets oblivious to the impending dream death of my brain. I will choose to remain super fucking ficial till my dying day.
I get ready in a hurry, waking walking under the powerful atomic sun. I look sprightly lest someone may suspect what goes on beyond inside my eyes. My cranium aching to hide the superficiality of every moment acted as if in some cheap misdirected play. I am left alone at the mercy of my mind. It rises falls leaps and bounds into crevices never touched by any light of day. I remain oblivious like I already said lol
I am super fickle ficial and always alarmed by my waking cause. I am running to a goal somewhere in the distance; never materializing, never ever making any sense but it remains accepted by everyone around! Wow what a sympathetic reaction to plight and pissed off life pain. I keep comforting myself – this is surely the way. All blind rats chasing others down to the end of the mountain leading inside the abyss subliminal control by the demonic piper’s wicked enchanting wail.
Look I found me a shelter and a walking road. A car and legs to drive it to destination unknown. I remain aged and un nerved beneath my skin. Something is driving me in turn and insane; yet I keep it masked, caged perfect; putting on a preposterous smile. Smoke rising red beyond the window pane. Look I can’t do it no more – I cannot keep my mind bound by this sociopathic schizophrenic make believe of living together in mock grace. We are all faking the fucking moment. We know this has to be the case.
But what is the use of realization pointless none the less. I laugh and make believe the bluff of another more euphoric place. Where the heart sends out signals which cannot be masked with the most genuine brains. Where it seems that the night and day merge and everyone puts their hands together to make it seem worth the wait. When love and night merge, where day and death tango - level ground surely
What have I become obsessed with, the greatest delusion stuck; incepted inside my head. This dream nature of becoming / flowering, faltering and becoming stronger. Being unlearned and losing all the masks I have so ritually kept away from the prying eyes of my fellow kind. I have started to repulse my inner nature – this superfuckingficial lifestyle which I lead to appease my cowardness.
The night has become solemn. It has changed the fates of stars in this perennial darkness. Starts circularly to become the again the end. I have stepped forth into the abyss. I have committed enough blunders and shook not to commit one more. To lose a chance to see this world for what it truly is. Naked, without masks and the learnt conditioned tolerance for apathy.
I have dawned neo suits of mirrors. Reflecting the lost cause of desolate rain pouring once again. This time no one to ponder its origin? Looks like the superficial have become stark raving insane. What a sight to behold laughing laughing all the way. all ways.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
India is overflowing currently with children. They are everywhere from every other womb. We are a population like no other. I do not have a kid yet. I do not see any reason to have one, without giving out wisdom and way to live best fitted to this condition and state of life. I am one of the very few I guess.
The marginal cause towards our children (yes I consider them our children even though I may not have fucked to make em) is the apathic condition of health care and life given a chance? to be alive in MY country! *what fucking country concept???*. Our population suffers like no other. For we care not to acknowledge the fucking every single day apathy towards the children everywhere; remaining in some sot of proud shit moment of being ever immersed in a gutter of human filth if not actual human beings.
One of my friends sisters was interning in the government hospitals in Hyderabad same time now last year. I went to see her, for she is (I realize) dedicated to the cause of love and care. What we try to see in all our doctors – allopathic or otherwise. Yet the fucking irony being that these very doctors make a sleazy business even or especially when it comes to treating the tender life in nascent stages.
I went with her to the ward, where loads of kids (one each) in single beds were crying bellowing and sleeping along with their care. I saw her inject multiple injections to the veins of kids who were sick, in extreme pain and on the verge of feeling death through their tender consciousness. My friend was very very sincere and methodical in her work. She could feel no emotion in her administration and care for the body. She had to look away from the howls of every kid she went near. She was indeed strong; as strong as the kids? I would not think so. Life at such a small stage feeling intense pain caused by life forms and experiences which sever the mind and body. And then our allopathic cure – which is basically the ingestion of painkillers and steroids to numb our neurons towards every sensory input and within. What a waste. Disease wins thumbs down.
I know and empathize with this experience intensely. Every person who has felt self pain would, every person who has seen another one in love suffer shall as well. This was a single one third day of mine just observing kids and the general shit condition of a government hospital in india (which india boasts of as general healthcare for free for its nation of imbecilic who keep producing kids to suffer!)
I have a weak heart and I cannot stand pain towards kids at the worst, I don't like them but I know what innocence some of them may have – what the world has done to them even without their action. This is sheer waste of life and consciousness. A little better than a cockroach in our understanding, and roaches do live grand lives. What about these kids in turn?
I have no answer. My friends intention for a year or more were strong and impressionable for her consciousness. The result of her action was yet a miniscule and in my opinion useless effort to stop the deluge. The death of our loved generations.
We who have access to better health care fare no better, with doctors who are assholes treating us better than fucking machines, and charging for every single second of their holy gaze, and stealing a fucking kidney in kind payment. I hate the condition and apathy which I am drowned in especially with the acknowledgement of these powerful experiences of strangers kids in pain. I cannot stand myself to be living in such fucking conditions. And I do not even have the courage or intent for lack of anything real unlike my friend shruti who could bear these horrible conditions (the loos in these places for women would certainly remain intolerable, the men doctor perhaps no better) to help kids out. Kids she did not know, care to know yet cared to help with her heart. I salute such efforts from the collective divine feminine to tend for her own creations. I really still remain at awe of the tender strong spirit of human condition, surviving the worst like so many other species of life. To remain alive for what? Is the next evolutionary question. At least to me.
Peace and Slumber?
Monday, November 5, 2012
But this is according to me at least the false self. The veiled self creating a projection of itself in limited capacity. The self which dawns from within the brain/mind - has its roots in maya. It perceives through the senses and is always controlled by the electromagnetic impulses of the brain - Hence depression and elation become from these altering brain waves, so does any and all other attributes to our selves.
These attributes are fleeting - defined by the amount of energy the brain is able to sustain, create and dissipate. The false self is always changing, never the same at any two instants. Never being able to realize what its true nature is.
This is where ancient warriors and saints and men/women realized that though this remained an almost inconsistent way of looking at the self - there remained beneath the veil another form of energy. This energy was even more primitive in time, almost consistent and never fleeting like the brain energy which created a sense of the false self.
This I choose to call the real self. The real ego or aham. This also has been defined as nature, prakarti and of course kundalini/serpent power. This has been defined as a feminine dark energy form - which creates an illusion at multiple levels to keep itself hidden.
The kundalini energy is the true self. Yet it too is unable to fathom its own creation or its own nature (how can one know one?). But this is where it creates the finer of illusion of duality - consciousness; This form of self (shiva consciousness) can fathom what the real self is upto. It can fathom its own beautiful nature.
Now I am not the one to debate what is real and what is illusory. But yes, everything remains in its base form as energy. Only the frequency of vibration changes - creating physical, psychic, and other realms in turn.
But within ourselves - we must realize that we are not the body - this faint yet so strong sense of our selves - is coming from within the brain every single instant. This false sense of self (I-ness) is parasitic in nature - as it never allows the remotest realization - that major amount of energy stored in the vessel is not within the brain but at the base of the spine (It is also the center of gravity for body) - this is where the base energy/kundalini is present, and when notions from within the head start disappearing about its affirmation of false self - then the true self (the major energy waves) starts pulsating from the spine above to the cranium (once again within the head), where neurons will be empowered to become conscious - to witness what a beautiful state it is that the kundalini is.
Kundalini is the energy of self in every single atom and further micro and macro as well in dimensions. It is the underlying energy field of this existence. It creates a fine illusion through the head to protect every organic entity from preventing itself to be realizing itself. This is of course done for no grander purpose than to keep the game playing itself. For natural course to take place within constraints (time,space,reality etc) to realize the unlimited self through this as well.
The first prerogative becomes to realize that the localized veiled self is not situated - localized within the brain as we presume; it is localized within the spinal column (the oldest structure of the body). Then our thinking becomes immaculate. It is not from the false self looking for pure ego thrills. It becomes energy bonding to energy to realize itself through energy.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
These stories; for all of human kind, are almost the kind we know of – heard of yet they are not quite what we have been brought to hear and understand.
We human beings love to be in love. We see its manifestation with the opposite (or same) sex and we feel the duality striking and us sinking in a trance to complete; nay to quench our incomplete divinity. Yet getting married to another person (married means in love not in some human law) has still not been able to quench this insatiable thirst. (look at our societies sick sense for multiple partners even when one confesses to be in love with only one?)
All our emotions all the time are coming out from the inner core – they manifest in the external realm which we perceive with our senses and mind. This incomplete feeling is from our insides. Our base of spine. Our entire being, it reeks of completing its mission in love. To be drowned in its partners vision; grace and feet!
Our paradigm shift starts like all love stories by realizing how thoroughly we remain incomplete without the ‘other’, the beloved being there! How we try to then find out who our unique satiating partner is! Where he/she is hidden, how they will be found; hunted down almost by eyes of pure love! We start our hunt for our life and love. Our special completion in a lifetime.
The sad stories our human kind faces; when the inner sanctum remains incomplete. Where the self-power/ which has willed this creation into being – can never ever complete its orgasm with its beloved. This pure consciousness which drowns every aspect of existence in its nectar filled heart. Shiva at the top of cranium, overseeing the fate and action of each one of us. We remain in dismal condition perennially (even if we might have united physically with another body). Our natures demands this inner union to be completed. We are the observers; seeing this fragile and beautiful life and love story to enact itself. The meeting union and love making of pure conscious will to the raw powered will – which has created this veiled maya / illusion to fancy love in the first place. (That is why the wise say that there is no separation and enlightenment – as power and consciousness are always merged – but a love story still sometimes has to be enacted, to realize that there was nothing left to realize!)
My heart like yours like everyone’s aches time over for this universal love. I look hither thither and then laugh like a little child who has found a feather flying in his hand! The fleeting moments – our lives, ending sooner rather than later – without these beautiful unifications taking place from within. The healing and consciousness beckoning; yet I/we never glancing even at this inner need. How the lovers within might feel; i wonder! Never to have looked at one another in an entire lifetime’s worth. How shiva and his partner; the gleaming beautiful shakti – would wonder themselves– a body formed, a moment or many experienced – in utter mute ignorance? And perennially???
Such never ending sad love stories, one after the another – we born from the womb of one or other and creating such beings alike to us, yet never completing this surreal love filled union within. How could we call our love forth for another person then? Without having observed, experienced and risen in it ever!
Peace and Love
On the broken cross roads where roads diverge; On the battlefield where the blood flows; In the smashan; where smoke is all which is left; I...
Today is a good day; for the day is dedicated to kamala. The passive benign loving mother of this universe; who is constantly involved...
I recently went for a trek in the himachal among the power mountains, which have lasted there for millenia together. When in hills, I try t...