The Subtle Art of Leaving

Some people may believe the title to mean (it can be read many ways lol); the way to vanish without a trace. Which is also extremely profound to say the least. The ability to be invisible; The ability to not leave a footprint when and where all how all one lived. Its a sorcery almost you could say. The art of doing and being without a breadth heard. This is being a perfect shaman to me. Healing without attention wasted on the medium of the body.
But that is not what I had in my mind yet;
The art of leaving; every thought and action unto itself. Without any lingering. Without any obsession or need. Do you get what I say? Well all of us have. The way something disappears in our life and love. Poof here and now not. Well to leave is to be at peace too right?
You understand where I am going with this? At the end of your and my life. There will be no life, after life, more life, or life unto itself. We accept the ways things change, especially ourselves. Without pity or need; greed or apathy.
Yea, this I can coin as a subtle art indeed, which takes effort and patience. Its to be at peace every time all the time (I learn this as nature shows me that there is no moment I can spend, or do which can be without alertness or aloofness mixed in… sure you must understand?!). Peace is paramount;
Is it not? If there is no peace at heart and mind, then you might as well say goodbye to your worthless spending life.

This is dispassion which the master hari krishna speaks about. Playing the flute and enticing ourselves to give up, willfully! Do you understand what a powerful play that is. Its gives chills down my spine; To sacrifice with no remorse; and no expectations.
So few and far in between our grand species can do this and with such ease! What a subtle art it must be. At this point some think; is there a use for such a mastery in the first place? Why should we just sit and watch by our life go to the grave.
I laugh a bit and chuckle too; see the subtle play, You see masters who understand and realize it with so much more clarity; life’s chemistry; purpose or ultimate goal. And they see that there is not much time till they are no more, and with such precious time they try and master themselves to the extent that they can be a passive yet kinetic observer in any situation. It means to give up to fate/god/reality/power yet at the same time taking the experience with a pill of poison. Our goal oriented existence is not worth it; with our mortality frail and ending every instant. Use this to practice the path of absolute silence. To show your worth, while being humble?
Leave all to nature, thats what is asked. Leave all needs of your life and the tyrannies you have endured. Keep walking straight through fire and make it out with a smile so divine.
Leave your nature; and you will be it. Leave your mind alone, it shall shine and outshine. Leave yourself by the river, and see what a wonderful new day it is. Leave this grip on your sanity; (I laugh so much). There is no use to hang on to a devilish imagination!
Peace All the Way Out Brothers and Sisters. Shanthi Shanthi Shanthi

Dark Dance Haunts Chidambaram~

The holy pose which Shiva upholds tonight, not for the faint of heart, not for the spiritually blind. He raises his leg up and stomps the ground and sky at once.
He is the shining nataraja, the keeper of the sacred dance. The shaker to the hypnotic drums. His matted hair glistens like the sun and his third eye opens possibilities beyond our comprehension;
Yes Yes he is in the fervent mood tonight. Dancing and laughing and forgiving our trespasses like a million times before…. through towards eternity.
He resides inside the Akasha-Lingam at chidambaram. The akasha is ether, the subtle formation of the gross phenomenon which our senses perceive as the world and everything in it. There is no linga at chidambaram. There is only the mirage of the real deal. The linga is nothing, representing the subtle element of consciousness. The akasha is the prana in most refined form. Prana coming down and showing infinity.
And as we stare at the empty nothing- which is where the akasha linga stands as it has for timeless years before. I understand that my brain shall never comprehend. The extent and impact that the ether has had on my personal self. The prana which has moulded me as a vile human being is the same prana which is now bowing down before the infinite self in front above and beneath!
My father and his family have spent long periods of time in chidambaram and ever since I remember, my father has sung praises of the size and grandeur of the temple located in the blessed city. Where there has been homage paid to dance and art since time immemorial. (it has remained a centre for art and learning since its inception)
Its not just another temple but a huge, grand town in itself, and I kid you not. The temple is fortified(with huge walls that tower) and is humongous. There are huge parapet walls which enclose almost an entire city within itself. Yes the only difference remains that the city does not host any humans, Its the refuge of the gods who have come since eons to see the holy and powerful nataraja take form and dance the world away to creation and dissolution. The sanctum is unique to the chola architecture that it towers like a vimana/craft/alien rocket to the sky…. something that every temple in this region can boast of.
The sincerity of the devout and the ascetic can be seen here. The temple hosts people from all over the world who have come to give themselves up to the grace of the eternal all powerful dance (many foreigners come here too over the entire year to learn dance and also spend time meditating on the ether linga).
This dance is perfect, this dance is unique. Its the dance that only a master can indulge in. Its the dance absolutely not for the weak. Yes I mean it. The dance which the master like you and I too once shall indulge in; is what creates and sustains this world; and in its peak.. most aesthetic moment- it shall destroy- implode everything of any value back into nothing. This is shiva ananda murti present in this holy ground. Shiva dancing back to ash and void this entire play of ignorance~

Shiva here is in bliss and the tandav/cosmic dance he plays is ananda/blissful to say the least. The one who comes here in search for the soul, in desperate need for the feet of shiva consciousness, will not go back disappointed. He has seen you and everyone else who has entered the holy sanctum. He has begun the never ending dance and will sustain us in balance through terrible/ghora nights like these.
I spent time looking at the architecture on the walls and the sanctums, massive effort to build a city within a city. The tamil saivite kings doing a marvellous job as usual to build something out of this world, the number of structures to the various deities apart from the central dome itself is incomprehensible; even to an experienced temple tripper like myself.
The master here is worshipped not in his linga form (the akasha linga is not a linga at all, its emptiness which is generally covered by a metal linga to denote the ether element present here. The central deity is the bronze glistening statue of the most awesome dancer of the world. The euphoria which I felt looking at the deity first time was beyond words. The nataraja is full of consciousness and power. This translates into freedom for those who have come to give themselves up and rest at Shankara’s feet.
I am not religious, the temple is the same to me as a place of commerce or a place of death. Because that is what nataraja is projecting in the first place, a dance so blissful that nothing remains in a web of illusion. one can and does have the right to dance free, and dance over the oh so many real maya/illusions one experiences or seems to experience.
There are many vishnu and shiva worshippers who sit and contemplate for years together, though I was afraid of the seeming commercialized vibes of the place, nothing to put my spirits down ever happened during my visit. The people who I saw there had genuinely come to pray, come to sell the trinkets of the masters outside and sincerely do worship for the lord of the universe. There is a sort of calm and repugnance towards the mundane and material world when one enters a shiva temple… no matter where it may be; the presence of the linga (and in this case… absolute nothing of a linga) calms the world into submission at the ascetic feet of the maha-deva~
I was immersed for sometime in peaceful being as I saw the afternoon arthi and worshipping coming to a close, The sincere smile on nataraja’s face was more than enough to convince me of the love that this place exuded. Its just a feeling, many can feel it. many wont and would discard it as some placebo of the brain, but for me its just being… being which exists in bliss looking at the ananda tandava of the greatest dancer of this cosmos.
Chidambaram is where true dancers come to get inspired. This is where saints and rishis for long have sat looking and gazing at empty yet completely filled ether; the soul and undercurrent of this creation. This is where this same consciousness comes alive and to the fore with power and grace. This is where the dancer merges with the beat of the drum and the melody of music. The dreamer and dream becomes one and none. This is the holy land of chidambaram.
I am devotee to the dance and the dancing master. I love to dance, love to lose myself within the beats and tune and also in the infinite silence between the beats. I know that dance is everything worth anything its salt in this creation. If you don’t know of dance, or don’t like to dance then you have missed the entire point of bliss. The pointless and all prevalent bliss which none of us in our daily rut and mundane chores ever seem to care about or even acknowledge.

But the dance is addictive, its sensual and its complete. Its the union of the male to the female. Its the entire creation experiencing and expressing without judgement or face. Its what has been or is irrespective of dimensions, labels or any other fact.
Visit chidambaram and get invigorated once again to dance without care. Yea; Dance like no one’s watching! Cause no one is!
Peace

The Elemental Union in Sand at Ekambreshwara

Tamilnadu state of India has 5 major centers/temple regions dedicated to powerful lingas worshipping the 5 natural elements. It is ancient worship of the elements in the form of solidified lingas. Concentrating their natural power into stone and into the place where the temples may have been constructed.
The 5 Temples are: (in no particular order)
1) Ekambreshwara: At the very famous and dis-reputed town of Kanchi. This represents the earth element
2) Jambukeshwara: This representing the Water element. I haven’t seen this place yet.
3) Arunachaleshwara: At the holy town of arunachala, where the natural mountain is the real shiva woshipped as such for eons now.
4) Kala-Hasti: Representing the air element, legends of a spider and an elephant worshipping together for a lifetime at the same shiva linga, which is considered to be very old.
5) Chidambaram: Representing the subtle ether element. The dancing tandav master Shiva is in his glorious dancing form worshipped here. Dance and creative love for the divine has been encouraged and propagated from here since a long time.
The Union in Sand and Stone:

I went last year to Kamakshi, as the goddess here is worshipped as much if not more in devotee volume compared to the holy Earth Linga of Ekambreshwara here. The goddess’ temples is independent (unlike most other temples where the shakti sanctum lies within the shiva temples) and through time this place has cultivated infinite legends but the most pertinent among these is the one -when adi-shankara found this place (the original shankaracharya), the goddess’ energy was present somewhere in a cave nearby and the power exuding this entire place was just too much to handle or be worshipped by masses. Sankara made a shakti pit/peeth- consisting of the shri yantra to worship the goddess in a benign form. The power here intially to my understanding was immense, and it was toned down through the use of a yantra (most places use yantras to amplify the effect of natural energy). The region also corrosponds to the shakti peeth of the goddess where her divine navel supposedly fell (one of 52 such other sites where sati power is present).
The reason why power here is toned Down has a reason as per my understanding, Kamakshi and ekambreshwara are located in a power full place. The legend is that this is the place where Shiva weds Parvati who comes down to earth as a beautiful 16 year old virgin- known as tripurasundari or even sodasi. She is virgin paramount energy. This place hosts the exact moment where Power/Shakti comes alive to look for the keeper of herself and her force. That is shiva.
Parvati does tapas here, and the idol made in the little temple show the goddess sitting in a lotus posture (with both legs bent), indicating her extreme power and energy. She is a yogin beyond classical imagery here. That is why this force feminine is known as the ‘one who is beautiful in all three worlds’, any world or dimension, she is the epitome of beauty and power. She is gorgeous, She is ripe and she is a powerful mother waiting for her partner. The partner who will wed her into this web of life.
Ekambreshwara temple is a humongous site. Its a huge temple and most of it is just architectural delight. There is no stone unturned, something very characteristic of shaivite kings in this region (chola chola and the like), who with devotion and power towards consciousness built massive structures unimaginable until seen with one’s own physical (or mind’s eye). The temple hosts a very old mango tree as well, which is the supposed site where shiva meets parvati and unites in wedlock. The tree is very peaceful to sit under, though its a lot shrivelled to look at (atleast when I last saw it), but the calmness is not imagined or concocted at such a benign beautiful location.
Ekambreshwara is a very unique shiva linga. (atleast according to me). To my knowledge or its limits, the iconography of the god shiva depicts a man who is immersed in practices which are psycho-kinetic in nature. Heating himself and his body/mind physically doing this for years, leads to Shiva to be constantly cooled (the classic imagery of water source ganga flowing from his head depicts this). Hence every linga made for worship contains a dhara on top. Something which pours water on the union of shiva-shakti as the linga. There is ofcourse the exception-
In ekambreshwara there is no dhara, as the linga is made of a particular sort of sand, the local priest told me that it was made from some sort of pheromone of the sevet cat, which might constitute parts of the linga, but I saw the linga and it looked very unique in its own way, Long tapered and most definitely made of some water soluble material. I did not know at that time that this represented the place where Parvati made this linga out of sand and meditated on it for eons until shiva descended from his own trance pulled to his love.
The esoteric Representation:
This place to me represents the Muladhara-chakra. The base chakra of the human anatomy, where the sleeping kundalini sleeps around a so called svayambu (self made) linga. The rising kundalini wakes up and then we can see ‘her’ in all her glory, in her benign yet powerful radiant and beautiful form as the virgin energy looking for her other half. The linga becomes the union of shiva consciousness and Kamakshi/Tripurasundari Power. This is what people at kamakshi must have felt, when they built the grand idol and the shri yantra forever capturing (or trying to) the eternal beauty of the feminine (the youth, virility and fertility- all for which kamakshi is known for- granting boons to finish kama/desires once and for all to reach her).
The place is very crowded due to the presence of the kama-kothi peeth established by following shankaracharyas over time. The place hosts over a thousand old temples in a few kilometer radius (it is also known as a temple town across south india). But the shine and grace of goddess and the strength and stability of the Sand/Stone god of consciousness are the reasons why this place till date comes alive in the hearts of devotees of life wherever they may be,
They always come back to the golden feet of Devi Kamakshi~
Peace

The Mythical Churning & Eternal Suffering

The time is three thousand years ago, the place is the island of Dravid, floating in the milky pacific sea. The jungles roam with intricate life; and man has evolved to use his thumb. It is the beginning of civilization as we would see it but to those who live three thousand years back, its the epitome of evolution, the break through point in animal kingdom (to which even man believes himself a part of at that time!), where the paradigm shift is taking place in consciousness. This is the story of the original Bhola.
The skies change a thousand colors, the love of the sky towards the green faunae, everywhere there is subtle movement. Of life and energy, though endless days pass, the scenery and scenario remains eternally same. This is the start of the evolution of our first kind.
The forests are dense and only the ice turned into rivers can flow between these contraptions of nature, dravid holds mountains high as it hits the old Pangaea continent with force and energy from the earth comes up as himalayas, the snow converts the regions bare and white. The presence of truth and love. Peace and acceptance. Bhola comes forth and walks higher up the hills, slower and stronger, with patience and calm and without an inner turmoil such as a monologue or a dialogue, he walks up north into the ice.
Bhola feels the earth’s energy within him self as well. It is a violent overtaking uprising of power, heat or even rage. He sets himself onto the kind of mood he desires, He dances in sheer ecstasy. Caressing the wind more, He overturns the great barrier which holds one to sobriety. Bhola begins the mythical churning within and every which where. Its inside us all you see; its easy when you see, much more difficult to express in plain words….
The intent here is immortality, for a certain bunch of entities, you call them good and evil. I call them 0 and 1. It makes no such difference in absolutes… again much easier to see than explain in simple words….
The indian mythology reeks of an event at the beginning of our time. Where good gods (devas) and the demonic entitites (asuras) work together for perhaps the first and last time, where they meet to ask the great lord snake Vasuki, to come and act as a rope so they may churn the great ocean. The ocean here is the null and void, it is the universes present everywhere, From the null and void the supposed good and the bad (though they both have the same motive) forces work in unison to create many other fascinating products, the esoteric churning of the ocean is the work of the mind of Bhola, His spine is the meru mountain (against which the snake vasuki starts churning), from the null and void the serpentine force of the self, The great devi kundalini starts moving and creating friction; at the base of the spine, is where the serpent resides in solemn and sleeping mood, until she wakes and starts creating the energies latent in every living organisam in this state. The product which comes first is the Hala!Ahala! The eternal and existent poison of the universe, something so toxic that it shall remove the state of maya which sustains this universe. The toxin so powerful which will end all this play of delusion and enlightenment,

Lord Bhola ever so kind, sits and takes the poison and sips it like wine, I will take what others here shall not partake, This is bliss! ever so ripe, the soma and nectar of eternal life, Bhola so innocent cannot see toxin where there is none, His energy comes to rescue converting toxin to honey to nectar for all….
The churning so long, produces obstacle so many, each god and demon fighting for so the crumbling so little, Something like within each and every one of us, We a sum of good and not so good instincts (subjectively) churning our inner self to see what life holds for us, Its our creation and our intent which creates the type of life we lead. There is the wish giving cow, kamedhun, the wish fulfilling tree, kalpa vrisksha, there is lakshmi- or utter prosperity which lord narayana beholds dear. There is everything produced infinitely from this tension within bhola’s body and soul. The snake turning around the spine, the snake turning around the mountain. The purpose immortality.amrit is the result. You find eternal life, like the devas(the ‘bad’ dudes-asuras are tricked into not drinking the eternal drink- perhaps added in mythology to signify some sort of victory of good over evil).
Bhola is going to die, for the world we hold dear; He gives his existence so we may live on and still never ever look upon our lives as a blessing. that we are here today; because the innocent lover bhola natha took upon himself everything which was destructive, evil and malignant.
Devi Parvati comes to the fore, she cannot see her lover squirm any more. She makes her hand a hammer; razes through the crowd to find him sitting on the tail of vasuki, turning blue…. eternal suffering always has been ever new.
She presses his neck, His neck turns blue, its a color which has another significance, he has taken within him all the evil, so that he could destroy it. For you do know, he is the destroyer of evil and the king of death. He commands who dies, he commands who shall live. Lord Bhola, I sing in his praise, why were you born ever so merciful!
There is no time like now to sit tight and pray to his grace, his innocence will captivate you, his love for you as yours for his shall be sincere, his touch will liberate misery and his glance will annihilate all that has ever been wrong. For you see, while you churn this mythical ocean with the snake of yours (kundalini energy is the energy of I- of you. ) Lord bhola silently takes in the poison which destroys, he takes it in quietly weeping so that you may know of him. His grace and his presence. His love and his wisdom. His existence and his absolute-ness.
Who shall love thee oh flesh and bone, like the lord who meditates in love. The lord who liberates your inner toxin so that you may taste sweet amrit- the nectar of ever new and eternal life!
Peace ~!~

The Last One Seen

Aghori you promise me one last time, raw and worth less, the life filled with turmoil and distaste. The burning ash in my mouth without the wisdom of death.
Aghori sitting on the corpse, intoxicated with the power of self. Higher she gets, the less peril this night faces.
Night hounds brazen and taut; stand up and howl.. shred the higher to the lower from earths bowl. The night faces dark vibrations, like none of you have ever witnessed before. The eyes wired face to the north star, the hair on ends, as the aghori spits fire and water across your faceless self.
Seldom you are the last one seen, there is always another to take your putrid place. But this is no ordinary place; no ordinary state- the time of the night is always ripe. When the mother takes her foot and places it on your third eye.
Shook your tailspin, birth of destruct. The button is placed at your worldly wise navel. The lotus blooming forth, sets vibrations across the ends of the world. Press it down. Push it up... breadth for breadth; demise takes no toll in the crematorium of everyones end.
I slaved to you, in the name of love, retribution takes over, and nothing is left. I leave it for ash master! the ash which enlightens your night drive.
Aghori, you drive fear into the heart of fear. Death runs ten fold away from you, for you are loathsome, in your hands, tandav is the only state of grace!
The last one seen, before the mist takes over and everything becomes as it never was, yes the world becomes mystical once more; there is nothing to foresake, for there was nothing here in the first place.
Aghori, you eat me alive, burn my spine, inserting firetongs into my eyes, I see your true form and place. Not here Not there... Neti Neti never never never again.
You push my brain deeper within, splitting the neural network even further. There is nothing left, for you to dismantle, take it and re build it master architect.
The last one seen is a midget called ego, shame nay fucking disgrace...... The last one seen is the funeral pyre burning the laughing corpse of mine in haste. Some how, you should know the aghori is always present. presenting the present of the present to states un stated.
Burn down the cupid of duality-love. This lust which burns your energy, makes you think that you understand love.. The aghori laughs once more. for there aint ever anything as dangerous as his intoxicated laughter. It will cause you to vomit, realize that you are dust on his feet, perhaps not even that.
This is a revelation, nothing to be taken lightly. The destruction of lust and love; The beginning of the downpour of hate.

Hymn to Dakshinamurthy

Lord Shiva, sitting silently.... my adored lover; sweet as the jasmine of night. You illuminate without a word, with your lovely doe-eyes. Always embraced in the necter of turiya, without the knowledge of day and night.. god of dispassion; sitting silently underneath the banyan, you are surely the sight in this darkened life of mine!
The silent maunis sitting at your feet, conversing so they say with you; but you are the will with which this heart of mine beats day and night... Crying and weeping at your image ~ the civa lingam; so many martyrs lay down their lives, without you they all know.. life is but a rotten disgusting peel of the mango, not the ripe necter which is the source of bliss.
Its ironic, that I; the fool, try to call out to you; oh silent lover of parvati, through words and phrases. But I know that these words are not empty, they carry my soul song to your feet, this lifetime like last like ever always in this circle you invented called time.
Underneath the banyan, with its roots falling, aching to touch your divine feet, silent killer of mara, you are nectarine knowledge of atman, that thou art! Aham brahmashmi
Your gaze unending towards dakshina, covering the space and time, matter locks glistening tucking away the 5 day old beautiful moon which is your divine befitting crown
We have made your imagery, to our likeness, so our heart can rejoice in a glimpse of a sight of you lord ever kind. Thy right feet on the destruction of 'evil'. Your left bent in repose, you teach without a single word ever spoken.. Master oh Master, yes you are the dream and life and death I have ever been after!!
Hands held together, clasped near my heart; I beg of you teacher of love and peace... to set me free... free from the evil of this world i see, to the better place; eons before perhaps where men vied to be gods like you, and gods wished to be men to see the glory of mortality!

Love and Peace
Om Namah Civaya

Batuka Bhairav

The air is cool and the rain freshly poured, another night and many more have been consumed by the fire which is the final straw between the body and the earth. Evaporated from material consumption, many lie in the path to salvation at the ghats near the kala-bhairava temple in ujjain.
There is meloncholy in the air, and eery silence; This is a place for an adept, not for a novice. The night has reached the hour of holy contemplation, and the dogs start howling like banshees, it could have but one meaning (i think, believe, feel). Baba has gotten up from his slumber, his nocturnal rule is coming alive. bhairava; who rules the three worlds; burns down ignorance with his third eye.
Fear not, for he shall protect if you have kneeled. he will show no mercy if you have held your staff all across your life as your ego. The mighty bhairava remains on the shores of the holy kshipra river; where even lord krishna came to bow and refresh himself.
You cannot hide the face of death, no disguise can protect evil, which stains this primitive sickle on his hands. Blood red lies his persona. In blood and fiery anger is bhairava re born again and again... over and over.
The adept natha, sits quietly at this horrific hour in one corner of the holy ghat. The dogs have become more troublesome, they are in a trance state, with eyes red and teeth out. ready to devour anything in the ghat which has not been consumed by the holy fire. Baba is out, I see, believe, feel.
You and I are not ready to worship bhairava yet. When you shall give up everything and be ready to protect; act as kshetrapala to your woman, to the goddess divine. at any costs; then you will be the fearless bhairava.
You will always remain then on the periphery of your love; woshipping tara from a distance, where she will shine on top of the hill; baba will remain away with his sword and axe and trishul drawn out, with his blood cup filled with madira, smiling and laughing crazy with his dogs for his lover on the hill.... Yea you and I are not ready to become bhairava yet.
The adept though, is in a different frame of mind. he sees the dogs howl and crowd around him at this crucial time now. He throws ashes at them, making them holy like himself. overjoyed from the bottom of his heart at the happenings of this night like the others before it. He awaits in pure joy; in silence.
Those who penetrate the vama marga, the left hand path towards enlightenment have to make baba their guru. Bhairava will shine at the darkest hour of night. when its most hopeless, when you have given up your family your love your breath  and your life; then baba opens your third eye, makes you clairvoyant and shows you the love which is life. Tara Ma!
Batuka Bhairava sits like a mirror image at the distance of 128 angulas of breath from the adepts pose on the amavasya night. The adept is drunk like never before, and the 16 year old batuka is crazy and terrifying with fangs wide open. The adept knows maha kaleshwar has come as a child to him, one of the 64 weird visions of ultimate reality. The innocence of batuka bhairava is flung apart when he flies to the eucalyptus tree nearby and then returns back to the ground with blood all over him. His eyes become like stars entering a supernova.
Maha kaleshwar is god of time, where time stands still. He is god of death, where death stops to give away to eternal life. he is the eternal servant to goddess tara, where love overcomes everything opposing. Maha kaleshwar opens the secret passage (mount meru), to draw prana up till ajna. Where third eye opens to see endless worlds and the illusions surrounding them.
he is without mercy. He is drunk, terrifying and covered in blood of life. he is ever new and bows to none. he sits and meditates on five corpses at the center of smashan; eyes meditating on tara. Savior to the world. Shiva in violent form. Rudra; Kala; Linga.
Adept is consumed in sheer bliss as batuka bhairava enters him. The time comes to holy twilight and the dogs are looking to the sky as they feel the presence of baba in them too. The ghosts of the smashan have come alive. They haunt in sheer delight. Magix of holy kshipra has renewed those who have believed and trusted the god who stands still at the end of the light...
Peace         ~!~

Without Reprieve~Practice Thavam

Last night I heard your voice.

It was the last time , I told myself, that I will run through the mist

Run through the woods. Howl at the moon like a wolf holding my soul in this cage.

And when I draw to my knees, on this downward spiral. Intertwined in my shadow. Watching your presence grow. Watching this play unfold.

I told myself countless times, that this would be the last. This would be the turn I was waiting for , for so long.

Without reprieve , I walk yet. Looking in solemn awkwardness for those who have seen you.

I shook with rage, I shook with spades in my soul.

Dug your own grave ever? Found it in the middle of the road, on the shores of nevermore. Found it atlast in my head, digging deeper. Sound scorned. Sound like that you haven’t had enough. Just like I myself, never got the fix. Never got the fill.

Desire is a dirty word, love is a painful heart attack. Hate is nothing-ness with a form. Light dimmed in this soul. Let the pilgrim out of the cage. Let him out for he is thirsty for blood.

And another night without thy sight, as I crawl on my knees. Wounded and burnt with separation. The howls become deeper.

In tune with my wolf mould. In keeping with the garb of mine. Of stolen tenfold is my nature.

Banished

Keeping with the satellite in the sky. Banished like the diamond in the sky.

One day, wasted self enters me. It seems like the end is near, but would it release me.

The kings enter the dungeon. Only to be eaten one at a time. They all smile. They all seem calm at the growls at the other end. Wanting their wasted self. Wanting to rip it off. But is this is a release. Would the king ever become a beggar. A beggar without the need for his bowl.

Practice Thavam , it enters from no where. It will leave no where. It is not present or not present. It is like the water which flows in the rivers of your mind. Flowing now. Without beginning or end.

As you spend your days in this Thavam, the compassion for the self and the no self. Becomes one with myself , leaves a fragile rose. Leaves it here where once your thoughts so roamed. They now cease. They now never where. Like you or I or the veil intertwined. 

Indigo Crescent (Nausea of Soul)

Feet carrying a body toward the temple of Iswara, as the eyes vacantly stare at the autumn sun setting in a blaze, he leaves his sandals and his thoughts at the periphery and enters the sanctum sanctorum, not a single soul in sight.

            The priests and men find no use in idolatry, but his eyes overflowing with tears as he stares in awe at civa. No stone or idol here. No doubt and belief in mind.

       Moment by moment his cup his overfilled and the tears, they shan’t stop

            Reason he cannot follow, misery forever follows him,

            Only Ananda walks side by side his path

            And only civa could recall his tale.                       

            Lies are what men inhale, the stillness and silence is what He exhales

            Speech is shrouded in noise. This very noise makes of my nausea

            The oceans make of the deep, The Mountains verily resolved in abiding in silence

                                                      

            Only man finds no use of them.

            The salt remains sacred, she is in our tears and in the depth of the oceans

            The Devotee walks in silence for this pleases the master.

            So less of time, so much to see of her and we shall still prefer to be blind?

            In this moment, which cannot be captured by thoughts in our mind, we remain here in the middle of this vast 

            So much of this breath wasted in empty noises? Wasted or stolen. If life be such. I am verily a thief and I plan to steal my life back. I taper around underground like a worm, waiting to be eaten by that angelic kite, my master my end

            Verily the shining life.......