I kiss you tight. Hold your lips to mine. Sweet scent enveloping us and love taking us out of our minds.
I remember you day and night.
I forget if I am dreaming or alive when I meet your sight.
Somewhere my blood has run out and been replaced by the wine trickling down from your lips.
Into my skin; through my bone; all the way to my heart and soul.
I look up to the sky; birds together flying towards a sensual sunset.
The day we met, looked into each other; Our fates sealed, and no single “I” ever revealed.
Cannot breathe without you; Cannot live without your heart beating together with mine.
Call it selfish, I just choose to call it incomplete without a kiss.
Call it lust, but without you in my arms the sweetest mountain water could not quench my thirst.
Was a lost ship; sailing aimlessly, brought to the shore; by the lighthouse (you) shining forth.
I was lost; heart beating pointlessly till I lied my head down in your loving grip......
I am a pill; waiting for you as my cure.
Please save me; making me a part of you. Please save me; could not go through life without you. Please keep me, fragile and humble. Please take me jagged and whole.
Please please me like never before.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
I kiss you tight. Hold your lips to mine. Sweet scent enveloping us and love taking us out of our minds.
Someway what we doing in our day to day life is so wrong. So very wrong. Our lifestyle is directly impacting the death of our fellow life. This is so very wrong.
I work at a factory, A factory which makes liquor for a baron. The factory like so many others of various industries employ permanent and contract labour. The conditions under which these people work; is generally and always pathetic.
Compared to the contract daily wage people who work for a meagre 200 rupees a day for working 8 hours, the permanent labour have it easier; they offhsoulder almost all the physically arduous work to the contract and they have the power of the union backing them up.
It has been around 2 months since I have entered the factory premises as a HR manager. I am generally reserved in my judgements; for it takes a long time to observe all the facets of a particular scenario, but even then it looked that it was wrong to hire people at mere daily wage, or even pay them something more to get such immense work outta them, so that the organization could reap reward *people like myself*, so that the consumers could get something which they did not deserve.
One of these days, during lunch I was called by my subordinate with a rude shock; he told me that one of the permanent workmen had collapsed outside the main gate of factory; and perhaps he was dead. I was baffled out of my wits. I rushed with other people around me, and found that a certain Mr. A had collapsed on the side of the road leading up to the factory. He was aged just 40 +, and looked emaciated. He had recently suffered from jaundice and was cautioned bed rest, even after he said he had recovered and came back to work, my department told him to go get a physical fitness certificate from a doctor to confirm this, I do not know where this person got the certificate from; nowadays doctors easily pass on any and all certificates if you dangle a fresh note in front of them. And for the past 2 weeks odd, he was working as a boiler assistant. This is a physically gruelling job, and you require to be completely fit; even more than a normal workman to endure the heat and constant work load of taking care of boiler requirements.
To cut the long and perhaps repetitive *story of our lives* short. The individual died, by the time he was brought to the hospital. I along with a collegue of mine went to his home later; where his body was kept and offered our respects. The family was shattered to say the least.
I kept my silence strong. My heart stronger.
There is no life here; No life here worth living. I reaffirmed again and again within myself. There is no space on this rock, this earth where we as a race of “alive” beings deserve to live.
We all are responsible for the disparity present. The people suffering and the people busy drinking wine. Such events take place common day in India, or any other country for that matter. That might be the true shocker, the real horror of witnessing any such event. That a man who worked for some 20 years in a place, at the end of his day died in front of the very same place. No reward for life. No joy in death?
Peace to Us All.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
I had the good fortune to see and travel to Mount Abu where I could spend a week of my time. I traveled from New Delhi taking an overnight train to the base station at abu. Mt. Abu is one of the few hill stations present in the desert state of Rajasthan. The place is quite a hub for young crowd from mumbai and other places to visit throughout the year.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
I already figured most people who have graduated from manipal or lived in coastal karnataka would know what I am trying to express by the title.
The time I was still in udupi district doing my undergraduate course in manipal; I had a great many opportunity to see the vast natural beauty in the form of the unique Flora and fauna present. One such time, My mother and I traveled around dakshina coastal karnataka looking for some special temples/power places.
The journey to Horanadu is what I remember as most unique, among the 2-3 days where were travelling daily by taxi to different places around udupi. The horanadu temple lies past the western ghats, so while going from manipal one has to first climb the ghats (which is a treat by itself). The journey takes some 5 odd hours from manipal, after crossing the first set of hills one reaches the towns of agumbe; this route which my driver took me towards the old mining city of kudremukh (which is a sheer delight by itself), from there there is another set of hills which come about; this second range (which I had never seen before- as I had not travelled in depth western ghats till then) were way more beautiful than the first ranges. The time I was able to go, was just after a fresh shower and it was drizzling as usual and always even while we were travelling, the entire range of mountains were covered with dew and all the plants were sparkling wet and looking as fresh as ever. It was a scintillating site for sure, even though I had no idea of how the destination was going to look...
I was definitely surprised, the ranges crossed and my taxi started coming downhill for the second time, and there was nothing in front to be seen as the entire scenery was covered with low level cloud (yes the western ghats are damn low and yet the entire monsoon clouds come to that level- its a divine sight for those who have not witnessed it!)
There is a river which passes by before the temple comes close in the picture, My mother and I got off the car and took some peace time on the banks of the river, the entire scenery reminded me of some quaint local on hills of himalayas, except that the scenery here was dense thick beautiful plantations of mother nature. All covered in dew and mist and clouds! Unparalled emotions started to erupt !
The temple to lord Annapurna mother, was installed by adi-sankaracharya when he was roaming around here. This form of divine mother helps us in sustaining our physical bodies. she gives us food and sustenance in all material ways. The temple when I first set my eyes upon it; was covered in thick clouds. It was a sight to behold, soon the clouds parted and I could find my way up to the sanctum. The goddess looks extremely pretty here and she feeds all those who come to her. There is lunch served which is a 3 course meal in which only rice is served in huge amounts, generally I am not much into eating or doing mundane chores in a place of worship but as she is here to feed her children, my mother and I thought to stop to have our lunch.
They serve huge amounts every serving and by the looks of it my mother and I thought that we wont be able to eat even one serving to its end, and of course wasting food is a sin beyond measure. But lo! to our surprise my mother who is generally a very light eater, could eat all the three servings (huuuge) of rice without the least bit of effort. In her own words “ The rice here is ethereal, it feels so light. No weight which goes to the stomach”
And that is how spiritual sustenance of the mother in horanadu is, the rice is easy to digest and helps in spiritual progress. It is a blessing to have in our hearts and yes even our stomachs!
Its a pilgrims path, so many across this land strewn everywhere. Peaceful offerings of ourselves every which way we turn to. Isn’t it joyous to be a part of divine nature, and celebrating it with a human-divine face.
Give respect and love to what you eat whenever, that is what mother Annapurna asks. The food which you take from her, also must be returned one day; through death and debt perhaps. Offer now itself so that during death; the debt of food does not plague you to remain in this plane.
Peace and Happy Spiritual Eating!!!
The best form of governance; is self governance. This is a message enlightened folks across the world since ages have been TRYING without fail to impart to us.
Well we folks just don’t seem to care enough to listen; and do you see the consequences? No you still do not?
Well you can pick up a history book, from any corner of this world; and see the truth (I know history books are the biggest lies, but they give you some small glimpse of what actually has happened and repeated time over in any country/dynasty/region)
The massacre at Tien-Min square Beijing? The recent wall street protests? The uprising in China, Egypt, and oh so many African countries? The upheaval of economies across the globe starting from the golden lands like Greece, Italy, France, US?
Are all these problems interconnected?
Oh well for many ‘yes’, and for most ‘Don't care’
But it is foolish not to understand the root cause of everything happening
and just trying to heal the symptoms time over again!
I am trying very hard to contain myself from bursting out in mad laughter. Surely we are capable of better methods of anarchy than this? Oh sorry; we were planning to govern and bring about lasting peace? Do we actually have a goal-plan when it comes to governments and kingdoms and countries?
So this is not a one day process, since mankind has developed an opposing finger, he has been consistently fingering himself with it! lol, Instead of finding a way in which he can live harmoniously with the earth and other beings in it. He has found that he is always in some form of mental ostracizing. He has to prove himself time over to his own self, his fellow species and the entire universe. Well I wont get philosophical. That adds no value (as the world perceives it currently).
Why do we require governments?
We require them, for through governments, we define ourselves. we define Who WE are.
We creatures would not want to think over, to define how we should live. It takes too much effort from our cranium. We would rather just let some illiterate person take charge of our entire lives, the lives of our siblings and kind. That is too sad.
The majority is always right in any government? Why should that make sense? Is there a majority to start with; as far as I see, there are possibilities, but till date I have never seen any 2 people absolutely alike, conforming to the same processes and ideologies and in short the same way to live.
Everyone has their own mental worlds, and based on those, one builds their perfect utopia.
But the governments of recent have build mental models solely on the greed of one or some men. They work towards domination of another, of control of the earths resources, of building stock piles and holding out another in their time of the need.
Tell me why do we need to lend our support to people who take our passivity for a ride? Why do we not up-rise? Why do we not revolt.
I shall tell you why, for the majority alive, revolt is yet not an option, because they are unable to see another way to live. They can see only someone telling them what to do and more often than not, what not to do; and that is defined as life. Most people work, live and die like this. Time over, repeated through history!
This is what the bullshit neo age spiritual writers tell us as a paradigm shift (more often than not, I see the shift as merely shit). But they at least understand that this change; is required if an effect is to be seen for a majority this time.
The governments and their actions benefit only a very minute portion of sentient beings across the world, also because the governments mirror the individual person of the land and his/her thought process, conscious acts, unconscious desires (repressed or otherwise)
There is no easy way for revolt to take place, for unless change starting from within each of us, comes and flows like a sweet river towards endless sea; there is no hope.
For when we understand that we are since time immemorial wallowing in filth. (which we so proudly showcase as our glorious achievements!) and that any change which we consciously administer now will only help us survive a better life, and not just survive is when actually self-governance will take over.
Self governance, in a very easy terminology is that- controlling the self. The self (not a limited perspective of I) but of what the self is. The self can only be realized by negating of the limited self.
I state the fact- time is limited and it is the only precious irreplaceable resource we possess. We must stand together, in our fragile hour. To see that no one need control our future or our freedom. We must choose as one. The time now has come
I went to a beautiful quaint little hillock on the outskirts of Hyderabad city recently. The place had a very deep and sensual aura to it, and as usual I was not expecting anything much for it was a religious place for hindus.
Its named keesargutta, gutta in Telugu mostly translates into a hillock, and keesar is another name for hanuman. The legend goes that; after the avatara for good (or something) Rama goes and kills his counterpart Ravana in Lanka, he feels that he has to atone for the sin/karma of killing a learned person (brahamana or whatever!). So he comes to near Hyderabad (actually he settles in the holy jyoti-linga at SriSailam- which is some 100 odd km from hyderabad), and he asks his devotee and friend the monkey god hanuman to go and get him some 101/108 shiva lingas, so he may worship them and atone for his “sin”
Hanuman sets forth and for some weird reason, he is not able to get the shiva-lingas in time and when he returns, he sees that rama has already begun his worship on some other lingas (probably present at SriSailam) on his own. This infuriates hanuman, and he throws these holy-phallus’ away, they land here at keesar gutta.
The temple is ancient, and its blended perfectly between the even more older hillocks around. There are tons of shiva-lingas; all of them which are well built and probably quite pristine and old strewn around this hillock. Some of them are still worshipped by people who come to see the power place, while many are in neglect, because they remain further away inaccessible due to being shrouded by bushes and more recently human plastic garbage *what a blasphemy*
I could see the main shiva linga at the temple and it seemed that many a generation had done worship on it. There was a certain serenity which i could find, and in fact that is the only gyroscope which I use when ‘seeing’ any supposed religious or power place. I landed up on diwali morning and was expecting a huge rush but to my pleasant surprise; there were very few people... perhaps most were enjoying the much deserved holiday in the middle of the week and also because through time I have personally seen, that almost all shiva temples remain barren marring a few important shiva festivals held every year (like shiva ratri and such).
There is a huge hanuman idol as well, which to my best guess was very recently made, but seeing the monkey god is always a heart’s joy; in whichever form and disguise. And needless to say, the entire hill is plagued by this generations hanuman- the Indian recess monkeys, always on the prowl to scare some poor housewife or kid to steal the prasad or even their personal belonging which could be returned in exchange for food.
The fact that surprised me through my visit was that there were such beautiful sights just on the outskirts of hyderabad, and without the normal tourist distractions, the hillock and the adjoining areas reminded me of hampi.. this region has similar landscape to the neighbouring state north karnatakas landscape. rocky and barren and generally very very dry and hot throughout the year.
There are certain other places which one can see near keesar gutta, there is a small temple dedicated to the lord hanuman in the form of Panchmukhi- 5 faced hanuman, which is considered extremely powerful and auspicious to remove any troubles faced especially through supernatural entities. There is some sort of museum adjoining to this area, which has been recently built.. which has a steep entry of some Rs 250/- but one can go in to see some 300 odd main temples of india rebuilt in similar fashion with their history written as well. Of course I did not visit this museum temple zone, mostly because I have travelled to most of the shrines which were probably remade in this museum and i do not like to visit places to see something man-made, I get intense kick of seeing places where man has made some sort of tribute to nature or to power in general.
There is also an old boingir fort nearby keesargutta, I saw the place though I could not climb to marvel its view (its located again on top of another hillock) for want of time, and its a difficult trek up, as the locals informed me later, and I am sure it would be fun for any nature enthusiast to see a ruin atop a hill.
I also had the time (not on the same day though), to visit another religious shrine on a hillock near hyderabad recently, that is called yada-giri-gutta. The place too is steeped in religious fervor and this time for one of the avatars of lord vishnu- the Narasimha/Man-lion.
Narsimha here has come forth in five avatars, mainly and of the avatars is again taken and kept under the cave area by lord hanuman. It seems hanuman has spent quite some time in this region in fervor for his lord.
Narsimha here comes forth in svaymbhu form. He has come forth from a rock which looks exactly like his beautiful ferocious face and body (this was found which was originally a part of the cave on top of this hillock).
He is supposedly the god of physicians and the reliever of all ailments, and many people come here to get cure from their chronic diseases, they stay here for months on end till a cure is achieved at the hand of the loving man-lion form of the divine narayana.
Here too I was expecting the usual temple crowd; the millions of people with no cure in sight coming to experience power and the transformation that might take place.
But I found the entire temple empty, devoid of the stinking flesh and the hope (lessness) it carries. There was a beautiful serenity; a glimpse of true inner peace. The deity was beautiful, a part of the mountain present inside a secluded cave enclosure. The temple priest was exceptional, he had an aura which most of his counterparts do not possess in this day and age irrespective of the god or religion they preach for. The priest explained in simple terms the lord and his forms/rupas/bhavas here. Here is he is fire/agniand the anger/ugra, the consort and union/lakshmi narsimha and divine/yogananda as well as gandabherunda (this is the one which hanuman is said to have installed).
The view from the hillock is amazing; there is a certainty of peace here for sure. Not because of some extended religious fervor but plainly because of the power this place possesses. People still boast that there are lots of saints meditating on hills close by. On the beauty of the lord!
I strongly recommend people visiting these small hillocks on the outskirts of Hyderabad whenever they get the time. Religion or faith is not the question here, the true question is only whether we can withstand the power of peace.
Friday, November 4, 2011
The expressions so many. I am already heaving under their fire. The lightness they propound me into. Just an expression of this divinity.
This experience; the moment now between us, must be revered oh sweet soul. Not in words; but in the sweeter silence. This moment between us…. Oh! and I have spoken too much already~
It seems, strange enough *?* that Death does not make a difference only to those who have lived in the first place. It havocs those who have never glimpsed life ever / Psy world?
I have taken myself for a ride, all across this space. Only to swirl myself endlessly like a sufi in ecstasy, stopped to find myself changed here and forever.
You believe in organized god. An organized civilization;race. I only see consciousness mirroring itself in infinite different ways. I only see…. followed by endless laughter merrily dancing away!
I am interested. Only In God, for it tells me what your mind is trying to negate, trying to condense or compose. Your deepest fear is god. The source, womb which we escaped only to wait for it to encapsulate us again. Non existence is the neo god. Annihilation of I in the fire of conscious. Killing of our god, to become who we were.
I am preaching the love for the forest, the beings sentient. who do not require a mind or lust to sense life. I am talking being who we are, meant to be. Are in reality.
We are not distanced from the earth. Oh you people of digital domain. We are born from the sand and vomited back on the surface of this glorious mother, Earth; a sickening rock in Brahamanda of darkness.
The heart of this planet glows, and we recognize, re organize, and re mould the concept of I, inseparable from the earth and sky. from the conscious earth’s boost; we explode into inner space. We fly like eagles and crawl like snakes. To reach no particular destination or experience. To be who we are.
A part of nature and this earth. This lonely rock amongst the darkness all mirroring with alien interference of intelligence, of interspace consciousness, which is again not defined in any dimension like space or time or ego or will.?!?
See what it is; the shloka for defining you and I. Us in this very fragile time of insecure superficial peace, and the calamity of atrocity. The sense; the love; the dance. Where is it now my friends? Drink and fall into the endless pit.
The damned end, but there is none.. that is why I maintain. The less that is said of the holy. Revelling in silence, dancing under the banyan on a full moon night. That is the work of consciousness. That is the melody without a musician divine!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
I just realized something so simple yet so difficult. I apologize; most of the times I keep myself and others in an endless loop; for no good rhyme or reason.
Its not a big deal to die.
Its not a big deal to die.
I find such liberation in these simple words; which hit me out of nowhere.
We all indulge in killing of live beings every single day from roaches to ants to what not, sometimes knowingly and other times unknowingly. I have seen people die in front of my eyes... right from alive to phat! dead… Believe you, me. Its not a big deal to die!
I find such joy in these simple thoughts which now I completely understand, there is no loss, there is no gain, there is no meaning and there is no pain.
There is no end, as there was never a beginning. There was nothing wrong in the first place for us to be born. There is no need, for us to be here. There is no master plan which is gonna get us out of here (too).
There is no love as there is no life.
And its alright son, for it is no big deal to be not alive…
Its insignificant, your destiny and mine. There is nothing significant or poignant in us dying.
No one will care, No one will be surprised cause well you all know, its no big deal to die.
I am happy to take the plunge, I am happy to take my life. cause I finally get it. There is no need to be alive…
No way will I change my mind, No way shall the path divide, for where I have walked. Only thorns have kept by my side. I suffered without rhyme, I cried for a dead god. I mourned for a dead love, for a life gone wrong. I wished to end it all, never to begin it again.
My only sincere hope now as ever before; is to be never be born again.
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