Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Sunday, April 26, 2015
You know how love is; one day the loneliness and the other intense passion. Brimming to the very extent with every single pore of being bought over by the drug releasing in the head. When will I see him/her next. What can I do to make it perfect and better than the rest. What do I have lacking that I can do anything about. When will my wind bring about the sexy burning fire of two bodies intertwined about?
I look at her, my delicacy from another world beyond and I twinkle my eyes in delight. She is nothing like who I have ever met. Subtly underdressed and playing the part of an actress who says she is normal and I know is anything but that. Her eyes give her away, a little bit of normalcy and hell she doesn't know when she goes astray (and is it not a delight when she does! When will she next!)
My muse from the womb of divinity. Playing games and speaking naughty words without any fidelity. Oh what sin did I commit to get trapped in between the dreams from your eyes. You know you own me mistress and everyday with you a surreal surprise. I am but another soul drifting in the dust. Attracted to your nature now I cannot live lest by your side. Is this love I do not know, but it is a bit of wind to stir up a sexy fire. Come now muse; let us burn our ether in it, burn it down to the wire. So that we can revel in each other and anyone else dare break up burn up in our sexual fire.
She keeps me up all night and drowns my days in her suggestive sly smiles. I am unable to keep myself at bay, nay I like the feeling of what I have got myself into I say.
And she speaks less and makes more sense. She thinks me over and touches the deepest ends. Ties up the night and makes me scream tired. Makes me cry in her love lorn fire. How a little bit of wind can make the fire go higher and higher. There is such intensity without spoken words, just the biting into each others skin and soul and never backing up an inch.
Love could be so much fun, who would know other than us, we give unto each other and never lead astray. What is good for I know is great for me I say.
Peace and Grand Smouldered Love (in the belly of the goddess)
I realized this while playing poker, one of a kind realization actually. Without the presence of many players, with gambling I to I, It was indeed the I which is permanent in the impermanent which made the dilemma clear, quite the kind.
One day we sat and threw stones into the river, my friends so dear and my mind so distant; we saw the ripples breaking our faces, distorting with circular lines. We were changing, in a body through the tunnel which is time.
Changing and staying still. It is quite a different thrill. Which the self has not faced before or after. Only the moment here which keeps us realizing the great glory veiled, shrined (within the gloomier illusion of itself)
How can the mind fathom its glory, which has created the illusion of being created. There is nowhere to run, as the mind closes unto itself. It realizes that its walls have been which have kept the truth at bay. It has never played its real part unto the day. Dilemma which we all face, how to unturn from the mind through the mind. Through blind faith or superstition and deeper neurosis which will wreck it ?
The answer lies in the dilemma’s grandest hand. The poker genius last saved move, which he/she may themselves have never fathomed to be. This is how realization plays its own play. Its own game. Extreme faith – like the one who can be you or I. Playing the death card first and then laughing and crying. Yes play out your dilemma of your head in your head. Shoot it fast, dead.
Unto the selves we are, we are not meant to be like this. We were meant to be dead. Before we could take birth so not to see the horrors which the super mind has made for itself in the illusion of being created. The dilemma thickens and plays a part so special – truly unto itself.
The enigma which are chasms locked in deep space, there is no one who can come to it without becoming a damned part of the cursed despair. Empty space, eons away now closing in and there is a deep darkening sense of nausea enveloping me, Claustrophobic and no where to run. Dark energy everywhere now here and till the end laughing and screeching herself through a dilemma now become real. (Read, You and I. Closed circle of time)
I become the lonely stem cell, waiting to be cloned. To be dropped of into another life experience, which is never ending and never dropping and hence which cannot be described. Look be one, there is love which completes the final circle. There is love which makes us men and goddesses. This is the dilemma’s key and bright ending.
Saturday, April 18, 2015
I have written about this way too long, yet it keeps coming back. Seems to be no end to how we are born and meant to exist.
Symbiotic synergy is what we are to pick up on. The human body holds more alien cells than its own. This is what creates the synergy to grow and live. Though we feel that who we are is separate from a fungi or a bacteria or even a virus – truth be told – we are the subconscious collective of all of this hence manifest into existence. We are a combination of various cells from various eras. There is memory from every single cell of existence which ever was here which is in the air waves. This is what makes our conscious and unconscious part of memory and brain activity.
The physical realm of the body as I said is filled to the brim with other forms of life which act in a symbiotic manner to cooperate to exist and indeed grow till life – breathe falters. This is marvellous – almost like a beautiful tree – which exists and lives in one and all moments.
With this grand flavour – Neelam and I went recently to Kodaikanal – albeit during the non monsoon season but still invited by the greenery and cooling nature of the atmosphere to give us weary city dwellers a respite from the incessant heat (of course that be our fault – with all the rampant mountain breaking, tree cutting, ac running and head breaking to make paper money – we have not taken care of what takes care of us in the first place)
Kodaikanal remains a distant memory and a refreshing restart, it has a colonial hangover. The people almost all Tamil folks (from the nearby villages with a deadly hunger to make the quick buck from stupid tourists like us) and the rest few the innocent sholay tribal folk (who are till date a little more innocent thanks to the atmosphere around and in the mind)
There is synergy abound – when we looked everywhere with the flowers in bloom and the trees in glee. There seemed to be no end to the vast beauty and majesty of nature intertwined with animals and humans. Living in peace and serenity.
We walked towards Vattakanal; which is around 10 km away from the main city. We got a shortcut and made our way through the meandering forest – our first landmark is the now very polluted pambar falls – which is a small waterfall which may once have been extremely beautiful but now with increasing human inhabitation around Vattakanal (which has become a hippie joint of sorts – where some indians and many foreigners land up to consume shrooms and trip in the beautiful scenery year around), the falls has kind of become a waste water collection unit.. The road meanders down in height from kodaikanal’s height – > Vattakanal goes down to Dolphin Nose – which is a view point facing the Panani Hills. (I had visited this place 4 years back and when I went back here – the route to this place was more dismal than I had expected – with the wannabe crooks and who not hippies trying to live in shacks and away from the prying eye of the curious and often annoying indian tourist.
I knew a place close to the starting point of Dolphin nose – this was recommended by the local tribal folks the last time i had come and indeed it leads to a very beautiful view point – showing the panani ranges in full majesty. It is indeed an awe inspiring sight.
The Kodai ranges are indeed blessed – they hide in plain sight a very beautiful form of tree system called Sholay (which in Tamil often means a special bush forest). Sholay is indigenous to this place and does not grow anywhere else in the world – a mix of deciduous forest but not quite – the trees look very intriguing and indeed refreshing. To be found all around Vattakanal and in often places in the east coastal belt in Tamilnadu (at heights only)
We spent the entire day here taking some photos of beautiful trees, meditating and walking around. Albeit there were more stoners here than usual (i had not figured this isolated place has become such a busy trippers joint). None the less Neelam and I could see the mountains (which are indeed so very old) and spend some time in peace.
While I was contemplating this thought kept recurring that we are composed more of alien genomes than our own, yet we have the selfishness centre which defines what is us and what is not based on superficial ego consciousness and nothing more. And so when I looked at the mountain and the beautiful scenery around us hosting so many different forms of life (both micro and macrocosmic) it seemed that indeed nature too was not one yet a composite which acted as a singular entity. This singular entity did not have any understanding of itself in the classical sense like how we do. There is no ego involved – only symbiotic synergy
This is not the first time i have felt such – but have always felt it in one new way or other amidst nature – this time under the time and space diffusing substance of the mushroom. Which has its roots deeper and longer on this earth than anything else. The mushroom causes the mind to slow down, causes it to rethink and act in a manner which it may when it may have been conceived and in this manner makes you see the interconnectedness of things better than anything else in nature. Though not a strong emotion – the feeling of this substance can be felt even by the faintest and the foolish most.
This time it evoked yet again the feeling of symbiotic interconnectedness both inside the body, of the thoughts bound in space time and of course within the macro – sensory nature itself. I sat amused and bemused at the same time – looking around at the beautiful colourful life that we all are part of, and at the same time thinking we are better or different from the dirt, dust and ash which consumes us and makes us.
When we started our way back, we saw a huge male alpha wild bison grazing on the hillock near some folks houses, neelam wished to take its photo (its back was to us, and this was the only way we could take any photos.. the massive beautiful beast had huge and i mean immense huge horns and must have weighed around 800Kg to a ton) but before she could click away – an old lady in fright who was passing by warned us – please do not take its photo – a single flash or hint of someone taking its photo may affect it. Please don’t. There was a tourist driver who was also standing looking at it and he told us go ahead and take, yet neelam who is a true sweetheart knew what the lady said was absolutely right. The beast could anytime get angry and wreck havoc on the houses and small fields nearby and perhaps even kill innocent folks of vattakanal. When I looked at it the second time in detail – I remembered that I had watched this beautiful beast the last time I had been to vattakanal somewhere over 3 years back. Even then it was here with its family (This time too we had seen his family below where we were spending time in peace).
This showed me how man and beast can live together, how man and others have lived in continuous symbiotic love and peace over so many centuries. There is nothing to it. This is one and the one breaks apart from itself to view itself as another. Sometimes it doesnt work out all that well (how its in today’s world where we cannot spend the moment in peace and love).
There seems to be love in vain, there seems to be no inspiration for the higher to manifest anymore – and this is our true challenge – To break apart from the reillusion and reunit with sensitivity to our fellow lost souls. All in a breakthrough urge to reuinite. To be one
Om Na Ma Ci Va Ya
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