Sunday, February 27, 2011

A Tale of Two Indian Weddings….Almost!


I don’t write about my day to day trips generally unless and until they inspire something profound, but this was something so ‘coincidental’ or perfectly timed that I admit I had to put it in a note somewhere.
So recently I have been a part of two awesome Indian weddings (well not quite actually…. it becomes clear as it unfolds). There was one which involved my best friend if not my brother Sandeep singh who wed his love Ruju, and well there was one which almost included mine (which just did not materialize). I was in a revelling mood most of last couple of weeks cause I knew one of my good friends from undergraduate days was getting hitched, but at the same time I was a bit bogged down too, cause of the fact that my own personal marriage dreams remained well, just that….
So I will elucidate about how ruju and sandy came together and how I and my ex came apart! (thats what was going through my head while I was having fun with friends enjoying the festivities!). Well Sandeep and his better half have been going around for almost 6 years, and they had met up in their MBA college times in IMT Nagpur, both of them are an awesome couple and as far as I know, they did not have future plans like marriage on cards so quick. The girl’s parents wanted her to get wed and this led to a time when these two split up and the girl was engaged to another guy. The marriage day fast approached and though I used to meet up with sandeep during those days, he hardly seemed perturbed at the thought of losing his love, he just carried on in his quiet saintly demeanour enjoying some out time with us all. Well true love goes a long way, this world or the next… Sandy’s lover broke the wedding but A DAY BEFORE she was going to enter the altar for her holy vows around the fire, well because she wanted to spend her life with the one she had risen in love with. I was overwhelmed and overjoyed when I heard what had happened (mind you, sandy during this time was taking a time off himself in between handling his business.), and the news that these two will be hitched rose like happiness amongst all of us who knew both of them. Though I don’t know the lovely bride well, but to see such courage to stand up against her parents and well the entire world a day before she was to get married told me how much she loved her man, and that she had a heart the size befitting divinity!
I too was in a long tumultuous relationship with my ex for a period of 4 years (mind you, coming from me, I was extremely serious about this woman, had gone to the lengths of changing myself a lot and even introducing her to my family)… the relationship began on shaky grounds with my ex’s family being a lot orthodox and only looking to wed within their ‘caste’. A case similar to the turmoil my friends lovely wife faced as well (its kind of routine in India… to say the least), but whereas my friends never committed from the beginning of their relationship to stay together, my ex and I did. We committed to stick it till come what may, and to be strong even though it was seriously an extremely difficult situation. so we both braved it out for some 4 odd years, with a lot of drama, emotion and pain braved by both of us…. but still somewhere we felt that we could get through with it to have a happy ending, but alas that was not to be….
My friends loved each other, and ruju was extremely brave to stand up and act courageous in the name for her love, but the same did not happen in my case and my ex over the years with emotional parental pressures crumbled to retract from our commitment towards each other and went ahead to have an arranged marriage. The situation could not be more surprising and well inspiring. Whereas one couple who never intended to stay together from the start of their relationship ( I don’t believe they started their courting with any intention of marriage), in the end due to their love for each other did… My condition which was exactly opposite ended in of course the exact opposite to the intended result. Such is life indeed (a phrase which my ex told me indirectly), and yes I thoroughly agree with it…. in this world nothing can be taken as absolute or for granted, especially not love. Love is something magical and uplifting for us mere mortals, but its also extremely unstable and very easily replaceable for most. Though I was disappointed at love for not working out like I had hoped and prayed and of course wished for, but I was at the same time elated and delighted for my brother for he found his love and fate and his bride’s courage helped him secure this love for an entire lifetime and more. Perhaps some things we just can’t see when we are in love, and we choose to elongate some sort of hope or illusory existence in the name of love. Perhaps my ex saw that it just was not cutting it; and well I bore the brunt of it. But I wish peace for every one of us who have felt love and chose to wed themselves, bathe themselves in that indescribable feeling at some point in our lives. Without it, truly the world remains bleak and at best a drag to our personal graves.
Peace! Rejoice in Love!

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