The silent enquiry since antiquity, remaining resolute and sincere in the approach to conducting oneself through life. Nothing interesting and yet acting as if everything was a fucking surprise. This in its naivety is bloody difficult to pull off. You would appreciate what I am speaking about.
Enquiry is must, there is nothing which we must take for granted, nothing at all. Yes of course we are all defined – and that is cause we have eaten the apple and then shat the remains. We could not digest the beautiful truth, much less fathom the creators design for ourselves. Indeed enquiry is a must then.
Since the time I grew up, I could notice changes in the impermanent consciousness of mine, tempered with bouts of bipolar depression and tendencies to see everything in detail, nothing so odd as long as one is in tune with their mind and heart – I could see the plot was incomplete – the puzzle had parts missing. Of course its true for all of us; yet the puzzle is a little more complete for some than many. It makes sense and indeed people need to make less sense of it all in some lives than many others. It was thankfully not the case with me. Puberty hit me and my mind reeled within for purpose and place, life and its of course subtle meaning. There was none of course yet the process of enquiry was indeed required. Indeed needed.
I spent time myself – reading and contemplating on truths and lies. If there were such boundaries to the mythical tales that all our lives are. Indeed time is a myth and its impermanence is felt only in our impermanent mind. What a concept, and then one day when we turn to dust, Its all fine again.
I sat and laughed at myself, many a time at what I was supposed to be; to myself and the society (sick indeed) which I was born within. There seemed to be a sadistic tendency within the cells which harbored the thought of me – to annihilate themselves and in the worst possible manner. Without leaving a trace behind; and yet here I was like so many of you. Fit and fine, without a trace of ever conducting a crime (indeed a crime).
Yet the more I enquired in silence, I believed truly that life itself was a preposterous crime and complete thorough erasure was the need of the hour. Yes indeed, I must admit – till date for me emancipation is complete erasure of the self, and this is of course I blog here; to destroy the ego self. The false lower feeding self. Which feeds unto itself and others as well. Which believes it knows what it is upto and indeed in a dark void – thinks that it is the false light.
Not that through my enquiry I have found fault with the illusion of light and dark, or even ignorance and enlightenment. I deeply hold all these connotations true and the search for self identity, loss of ego identity and the merging into god hood are all fascinating to me since the moment I have felt them to be a concept of the overmind.
Indeed the overmind – the universal consciousness playing itself in tune of light and dark has played such an integral role for itself – for all those who evolve (all of us indeed) through the illusion of space time / light dark to notice that the ego has been deeming us all untrue. This enquiry so precious and a part of all our lives indeed is to be cherished – this process to make all of this true in our fabric of recording life and then annihilating it to make it complete.
Why Don’t I see the picture till date? it is sometimes difficult I must admit, as the process makes one very tired at times not to mention morbid. to see life in all its shades and then discard it in silent enquiry for the purpose of erasure is no easy feat. yes of course all of us would know, and how. cause we feed ourselves to make us remember the false selves every moment even more, through actions and words, through thoughts and energy – through life and death we are obsessed with feeding the self everything other than nothing. Indeed enquiry for the purpose of erasure is no easy feat.
And yet we must all indulge, for there is no purpose of life other than setting the head aside so the heart may beat. Enquiry through time has made me quieter, firmer and resolute to erase any and all footprints / thumbprints of my so called self identity of this and any other life, this would of course mean to remove all attachments, illusions of attachments and so forth to get the good deed done and done right this time!
Please see the power of self – enquiry and self – erasure. there is no need for yourself to be in this web of illusion anymore (no pun on this illusory time). look and behold – be bewildered’'
be no more. anymore….
Peace and Joy