Thursday, December 13, 2012

Bound Deemed Free

To be deemed free, you must ascertain to what extent you are bound. To know what it is to be free; you must first know what being caged is like. To be an inspiration of love and peace; you must first experience what it is to cause hate and joylessness in this world of ours.
We seem to be doing a fine job learning the stepping stones. Now its time to abandon what we hold so precious to ourselves.

On the first day, I thought that we were bound to the mother. It is she who would suckle us, feed us and protect us from the chaos brewing around. It was safety and peace but at what cost. Mother created us; almost free and then bound us to herself in myriad ways. There is no freedom without understanding this bondage.

On the second day, I thought I was bound to breath and food, My thirst and hunger rose manifold. It has never ever given up since that day, I was driven to the edges of my life by the physiological needs manifold - of breathing and eating, sleeping and drinking. Such vast boundaries kept securely in place to experience a freedom? What kind of maya is this I shudder to think.

On the third day, we were bound to the genetic nature of our kinds, our race and mind. Our neurosis and deep rooted plague - all the so called learning from our past. Our future; a repetitive; adaptive failure bound by geography and topography, consumption and experience. The entire gamut of play conspiring to build a fragile frame around us. An aura of make believe - confirming to the pattern, building a free society. Built by those not free.

On the fourth day, I am overcome by myself and the individuality I have been now noticing. Through thorough conditioning of my genes, I now have a rough idea of the personality I am, I am bound by this; and knowing this I go forward to do things which will define me, which will set the stage for my supposed unique existence. This will create the meaning of immortality and freedom; this will be unprecedented I think! And Thinking such, I bind myself to the notion of a grander mortality and a rubbished attitude towards what it is to be free. In fact I am anything but free, I am bound by the actions and compulsive thoughts which lead me day and night in a vicious circle. They can never free me. They are in place to keep me in place. Though they vary in intensity and direction; my goals and attempts to do something which defines my nature and existence; does verily the opposite - it creates the stereotype of life. It is verily not being alive much less free. It is conforming to the inner yearning to break into a false dangerous individuality

On the Fifth day, I am bound and gagged, force fed farcical knowledge and ignorant selfish propaganda, and soon I am one and the same. I study my ancestors bullshit and look to make money and believe in mock personal prosperity, look for the oh so pretty bride and my jaguar's keys. I am a numb fish floating dead in a dead sea. I am already a shell of my former self, not knowing what! freedom I broke apart from; what I was without time always to be. I am no longer a man looking for liberation, a warrior looking to hunt down my salvation, a saint ripping his blooded heart to offer for his love, a bird flying without destination in endless outer space. I am just a shell of what I was to be~

On the sixth day, the need to be free takes over me. Its not rational I feel - I am a doing machine, going through waking and dreaming reality like a robot, if your tasks are complete then you may feel this precious ounce of freedom it is told repeatedly to me (government, family, society). The method of creating a supposed sacrosanct freedom is now finally complete, I must revel in what I do; and in this doing I will find peace and freedom. I am a fragment of what I was born to be. So I seek salvation. From the alleys which have been already fed to me, religion and cultural; sexuality and science. I am searching forever; doing what was never meant to satisfy.

On the seventh day, my logic and imagination fade; and age desperate to take hold finally extends its icy grips on my neck. I am doomed burnt to the ground, ashes thrown all around. I am declared deemed proclaimed as finally free!!

What is it that happens to me? 
From birth to death I remain sowing and reaping and never in between. I am the bearer of a thousand suns inside; never satisfied; never free. 


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