The days where I am free, I am kind hearted and let things be. Viewing life's feeble realities; breathing in and out and chanting within.
I wash away my sins and the pain that the cold heartless air brings. Once more I wish to see; my daughter's beautiful eyes gazing at me. Makes me a little numb to the loss of my self. Makes me a little more loving as a human without intent.
I pray that she will be fine, I love her more than this life itself. She will become who she is, walk away and maybe turn once or not. Everyday away from her while working or being is pain and I practice mindful meditation and be at peace.
All I want to do is spend more of my life with her. Play and tell her tales of this world she is born unto. So she may one day tell me what all she saw when she saw things in the world (like all of us) for the very first time!
I have realized I know nothing,
for a new life brings the love that one cannot even start to comprehend before time.
This is a miracle, nothing short of it I know. Where life has given so much and still begs to give more.
Some of her beautiful mannerisms which I would love to remember ;
1. Every morning she will get up with a faint noise, make a little flutter here and there and then get comfortable with her mother, once she has fed and is a little more awake; she will turn around here and there move between her mother and myself in the bed and then turn herself on her belly and now she just sits up at one go.
She used to initially hit me or Neelam on our faces to get up, but I guess she has realized that we are too far sleepy to realize what is happening to us. Now she quietly gets up and moves around till we realize she is good to go.
2. The first thing she does to everyone she sees and recognizes is give a very bright and broad smile, as if she is genuinely happy to see them this morning. It really amazes me, how as and when we become adults we lose this charm - this naivety of actually being happy to see the other person. To appreciate their presence and their uniqueness in our lives. How we just take these things for granted and become disgruntled and remember their vices and not their true selves in front of us.
3. She is a quiet kid by herself, many of the times she plays by herself and only needs people around her to give her comfort. She is not a people's person per say but at the same time she is not a true loner. She seems to at this gentle age recognize the value of social interaction and family yet at the same time is a very headstrong and self driven individual.
4. I take the last point back, she is a shy kid. She takes time to warm up to anyone (though some folks she is comfortable from the first day) and then she isnt so quiet! she is heartwarming, loving and builds on the bond made with each activity done with her. She can be very loud mind you, she has a beautiful god blessed voice and maybe would become a singer of classical music when she grows up. Once she is comfortable with someone - she is very happy with them. So yes, she is logically shy kiddo and I love that she takes time to be with someone.
No, I dont say this to (her future self who I hope someday reads this!) her with any casualness, rather noticing her behavior quietly; I figure she likes to do what she wishes to do (like her mother and grandmothers and even her great grandmothers) and follows what she thinks is right, at the same time likes to be in the company of her family members and even others who comet to the house to do chores. She likes to see Saroja the house cleaner or Usha the cook or even Ramji the driver and smiles at them. She notices Manni's helper Lakshmi and though initially was wary - has come to recognize and respond to her quite lovingly.
Will add on to this as and when she spreads out her cuteness more.
Love and Peace to Lasya Baby!
I wash away my sins and the pain that the cold heartless air brings. Once more I wish to see; my daughter's beautiful eyes gazing at me. Makes me a little numb to the loss of my self. Makes me a little more loving as a human without intent.
I pray that she will be fine, I love her more than this life itself. She will become who she is, walk away and maybe turn once or not. Everyday away from her while working or being is pain and I practice mindful meditation and be at peace.
All I want to do is spend more of my life with her. Play and tell her tales of this world she is born unto. So she may one day tell me what all she saw when she saw things in the world (like all of us) for the very first time!
I have realized I know nothing,
for a new life brings the love that one cannot even start to comprehend before time.
This is a miracle, nothing short of it I know. Where life has given so much and still begs to give more.
Some of her beautiful mannerisms which I would love to remember ;
1. Every morning she will get up with a faint noise, make a little flutter here and there and then get comfortable with her mother, once she has fed and is a little more awake; she will turn around here and there move between her mother and myself in the bed and then turn herself on her belly and now she just sits up at one go.
She used to initially hit me or Neelam on our faces to get up, but I guess she has realized that we are too far sleepy to realize what is happening to us. Now she quietly gets up and moves around till we realize she is good to go.
2. The first thing she does to everyone she sees and recognizes is give a very bright and broad smile, as if she is genuinely happy to see them this morning. It really amazes me, how as and when we become adults we lose this charm - this naivety of actually being happy to see the other person. To appreciate their presence and their uniqueness in our lives. How we just take these things for granted and become disgruntled and remember their vices and not their true selves in front of us.
3. She is a quiet kid by herself, many of the times she plays by herself and only needs people around her to give her comfort. She is not a people's person per say but at the same time she is not a true loner. She seems to at this gentle age recognize the value of social interaction and family yet at the same time is a very headstrong and self driven individual.
4. I take the last point back, she is a shy kid. She takes time to warm up to anyone (though some folks she is comfortable from the first day) and then she isnt so quiet! she is heartwarming, loving and builds on the bond made with each activity done with her. She can be very loud mind you, she has a beautiful god blessed voice and maybe would become a singer of classical music when she grows up. Once she is comfortable with someone - she is very happy with them. So yes, she is logically shy kiddo and I love that she takes time to be with someone.
No, I dont say this to (her future self who I hope someday reads this!) her with any casualness, rather noticing her behavior quietly; I figure she likes to do what she wishes to do (like her mother and grandmothers and even her great grandmothers) and follows what she thinks is right, at the same time likes to be in the company of her family members and even others who comet to the house to do chores. She likes to see Saroja the house cleaner or Usha the cook or even Ramji the driver and smiles at them. She notices Manni's helper Lakshmi and though initially was wary - has come to recognize and respond to her quite lovingly.
Will add on to this as and when she spreads out her cuteness more.
Love and Peace to Lasya Baby!
