Buddha Mid Life Crisis

How he awoke from his deep slumber, that which enveloped him for the past couple of years or decades, he was but in deep slumber till then and everything went around him and inside him fine. Like he was dead almost, Then the mid life crisis hit him like a brick flung out from the depths of outer space (or was it inner?) The great king Siddhartha knew fear before this; but only now did he realize that fear was the foundation of his existence, the one which was so soothed with numbness.
Everyone knows of his life and his claims to fame. Leaving damsel wine and kingdom behind, he walked till he sat under the bodhi tree the first and last time. The time then faded away to the background, leaving a certain light in the foreground. The enlightened Buddha.
But the story is generic and almost every man will face this if he is true to himself at some point in his life. Recently one of my dad’s working colleagues – as my dad tells me got up and walked off similar to what Buddha did a millennia back, he walked off from his unsatisfied, insatiated and unfulfilling life. His two daughters and wife still distraught have no clue to why this happened.
Somewhere in the scheme of things, the conscious life force feels fitting in and taking the snail’s pace towards enlightenment seems to be arduous and too difficult.
This life crisis – mid life depression where one realizes that one is going to die, hit me as well unfortunately when I was in my teens, and from then like a lightning bolt survivor – nothing has made traditional sense to me; No traditional joy, or uptake could ever leave me complete. And still has not, I have not found my path – if I can be honest perhaps I haven’t taken the plunge which the myth story of Buddha teaches us, but at the same time nothing of this world which has come and struck me (many things has) has never been able to provide the satisfaction which only accepting one’s ignorance possibly could do.
I am not against this fate as well, I am not running looking for a goal like the Buddha did – for I can realize from his journey that the path itself is the goal and hence there is nothing in particular which can ever bring about the realization of nirvana. Yet the crisis of the vessel in which consciousness has taken form is growing grave by the hour. It is deepening in intent and feeling – and showing myriad reasons to exit before the due date. And yet at the same time showing miracles like the ones to come which are a part of my own consciousness and the universe’s showing grace.
How can we resolve this sublime Buddha mid life crisis, I wonder.
I wonder how can many more take to the roads (not just like the buddha) but in their hearts and minds – to a place where they realize that the first step was all that was needed to realize the impact and the extent of the last steps’ reach!

Peace and Joy

Strange Accounts of Abstract

Powerful forces at play around, seems no end in sight. Lightning forms our kaleidoscope, yes no end to the abstract surrounding our frail bodies.

Making every moment count so the abstract seeps into our timeframe of maya, our beautiful reality and makes it worth keeping. Yet so fleeting. A painting of epic proportions kept in front of a mass of blind. They keep feeling for what needs to be seen.

And how we have devalued our lives, to the mundane – to that brings us momentary pleasure and eternity of pain. No bigotry here except for the ones who choose to be ignorant like this, when a beautiful everlasting eternity awaits us, not in some time in the future or past. But here and now. Who are we to keep delaying or deceiving (ourselves?)

The more I look at it, the stranger the web becomes. For it seems that it need not be seen also; just observed without a presence in sight (including myself) – of course how else can the abstract of all this life and power be known, felt or be?

Indeed this overwhelming presence is awry for us. It doesn’t sit well in our guts. The immensity of this existence – it comes crashing down.

But on the other hand – we have kept trying to escape this immensity from the time of our inception into existence. We are trying for the perfect mix of abstract and mundane (the labeled mind illusion of existence). Though of course we are more comfortable with the latter – that which is so called known, that which does not need to be confronted or observed anew. So much so that now we are morbidly afraid of the unknown, the abstract from where we descended and shall ascend in this mortal coil or without one!

The mundane is all around us, choking us to die, to return back to the abstract, it is stifling to do and be and think and speak and act all that is known and is so comfortable to exist in, it is as if we were making our cocoon of comfort through the labels we have made up in the mind.

Look through the innocent eyes of the child and all the known of our world around is of course totally anew and yes perhaps even dangerous. But these are the eyes we so require now to change the world back into what it is.

We do not require comfort or clarity through the known. Only the unknown has the ability to jolt us back unto who we are. Though the veil of known and labels of the mind are useful for us to make existence sustainable but it is a double edged source – too much of the veil and covering it for our cover shall make us insipid, stupid of the soul and not the intended the creation we are.

Peace and Joy