Shri Mahavidyas: Dhumavati

Welcome the smoke; into your home and your chest. She will sit and dispel the real from the mirage. Welcome the widow power to your life; who will be the one laughing mad on your funeral pyre.
She is horrible, detestable and the aftermath of the deluge. Where all that is leftover is the her image; the holy pervading smoke. Welcome Ma Dhuma~vati into your heart and mind.
Dhumavati is Shakti in the absence of Shiva. Her husband is dead to her; She walks an old woman in the smashan, every pyre emanating smoke is a praise to her eternal free energy. She is dangerous no doubt; called alakshmi; she is not invited into the homes of householders; for where she is, no other force of nature can ever be.
She is protector to the warrior; The shower of the path towards eternity. She is fierce and old; haunts those places which no one else ventures towards. Places of dissolution where what is left is smoke (the intermittent between creation and destruction). Dhumavati has no followers; only adepts. She has no temples; only places of consciousness-alterations. She has no form; only ethereal smoke.
She is cursed by householders and asked to leave, yet she is the giver of boons and those who follow her path, leave everything material; Needs and wants disappear; though i admit its a very very hard path indeed, she is pleased by absolutes only. No intermittent emotions or states allowed. She is primordial power beckoning within each of us, to turn ourselves into smoke.
She is the smoke which escapes when sati is burnt at the yagna (of her father daksha). She is the brute force of anger and hatred and dissolution complete escaping from such an incidence. When shakti is fire powered; the first and perhaps last signs of her in such a state would be Mata Dhumavati.
She is dark, haggard, old and wicked in appearance. She rides a crow; The crow is her charioteer as well as her symbol. She haunts wherever smoke is present. Especially places of death and loneliness where energy whirlpools and stagnates. She is always hungry and thirsty, looking for strife and anger to appear. She is pale and tall; thin and malnutrition ed and has dark pores for eyes which will cause fear to reappear if you dont pray to her with humility; She laughs terribly, holds the skull cup with wine covered in smoke and surrounded with the recently departed souls of the smashan, she crushes bones and skulls and eats meat and drinks wine, she is all things which are transcendental, beyond boundaries and are shunned by the rule abiding little thinking householders, she represents everything; the right hand and left hand paths. She is the angered distraught restless mother of all.
To please this mother who walks the universe alone; propitiate with her element; smoke; incense; and visit places which offer respite from the householders existence. She is considered unlucky; but only to those who fail to understand what she stands to offer us in return. She is the divine widow; the energy without the consort. The raw potent latent destructible force of the cosmos.

Perfect Getaway

Landsdowne is a place inspired by heavens serenity. Its about 250 km away from my experience of hell on earth (delhi). A quiet tucked away head quarters of the garhwal regiment of the army; Its free from pollution, even noise pollution (no mobile connections allowed).
Like any hill station, it has a small market owned/used by locals. A small tip-n-top point which is the top most point of the hill. The colonial left overs in the form of churches and local constructions and a recently made pond by the army for boating and relaxation (a temple dedicated to the goddess made/taken care by army as well)
One needs to break free from the madness which is the perennial problem of indian cities like mumbai delhi and bangalore. There is no relief in such places (atleast delhi has vast open spaces where one can get away to one's own peace but cant say the same about other metros). But lansdowne really came as a surprise to me. I thought delhi-ites would be infesting the place but except weekends; the place remains almost empty, and the locals are without mentioning of course as simple and helpful as one can expect from any hill folk.
I spent a weekend (though thoroughly unwell), in this beautiful landscape to be completely rejuvenated and free my ears from the noise that us city folk are used to. Its a wonderful place to getaway and get back to ones self, through walks; books or just spending quality time with loved ones.
Around 40 km one way from lansdowne lies the famous temple dedicated to shiva, Tarakeshwar mahadev. The route on the hills winds up and down before reaching the serene location (and how serene it is has to be experienced personally). The temple is tucked in between thick pine growth, and its completely un touched (or so it looks) from the external world. The temple gets snowed in during winters, and the linga is supposedly beneath the ground. There is a standing idol of shiva (most probably as bhairav) and it seemed to me that perhaps the original temple might have been destroyed or eroded; replaced by this simple and elegant construction. I was really touched by this site, for most temple do not offer any peace to meditate; there is constant interference in the form of people supposedly showing their devotion to the idol, but this was refreshingly different. There was no hustle from devotees (there were none except my family and I). There was a completely indifferent pundit (probably not used to the corruption of money) and such natural surroundings that even the most astute materialists would contemplate on nature's glory if not the godhood energy that is the source of everything.
I spent merely a fraction of my waking life in that space and was so spaced out; it felt so good to be living a simple life. The stress, tension and awkward chemical lives we live in cities; just seemed of no use. Man is born an animal with the capability of realizing and even perhaps understanding the power and glory that is nature. We 21st century animals are running away from what is our bounty. We seemed to be uncomfortable or in some sort of false notion that what we have created to sustain us through life *our lifestyles*  is actually more useful/better than what nature gives us for free and forever. Tarakeshwar might be taken as a place where such notions could be removed from ones head.
The roads linking lansdowne to neighboring parts of garhwal are very well made courtesy our army, and the place's serenity and cleanliness is subtly taken care by our jawans. The entire place is the perfect getaway for tired folks living miserable routine lives in cities.
Anyone who has a touch of romance in their lives could undertake this small journey *alone or with loved ones* to experience the state of godliness in truly the land of gods (garhwal). A 10/10 recommendation for the perfect getaway!
Peace

Sweet Redemption Unbound Pleased

At the throws of your mercy; I squirm in frenzy, like the tides being pulled magnetically to the moon.

Wish that I may, serve your cup filled with the red wine; the color of your mesmerizing lips. 

Sweetened ecstasy, spent by your side; wished that I might... ask you out for another night. 

Such course lives, we drone and delay, till the moment of love passes faded and its all too late;

Ney; One life and the consequences that beckon... spent in the cool reflection of your flowing hair. 

Deny me; your form and fragrance and please the vultures waiting to feast on this faded memory *me*

Satisfy us; and the love that completes. graceful apparitions in dim lit alley ways. Wind howling on deserted deserts; an oasis like you to quench this thirst borne out of a millenniums endless pains. 

Where were you Tara? Your delicate hand on my head, Why be morose; when the life of love is like a rose; once beautiful, eternally decays. Majestic is now; the time and place, where we are one in spite of the shadow plays of night and day. 

Bewildered; a child from the womb, I am nothing and no one without your reassuring glance; without your divine touch; without you my muse, I have nothing to lose. 

I wake up and hold you tight; its severe, the pain that I face alone and blind, in such a dilemma all I can do is remember our first embrace; losing boundaries and space, It all has been a perfect state (of one). Where the lover falls to his knees and the divine goddess heeds (to the temptation of losing sanity); 

The abstract manifested inside of us; like a seed germinating disguised in lust; but in truth it is the spark which makes us alive; it is love which has forever been our guide. You cannot make me turn around, to the darkness and the abyss from which I once found; that all the worlds cares add up to nothing without you oh lover; and all I ever dreamt and asked for was you Tara; over and over. 

In waking state and in sleep; In meditation and in deeper sleep; In death and so in life; you are my sweet redemption; my self to be; I am dust in human form, looking for the eye of the storm-- Your heart the halcyon of the entire experience of me... 

Oh Sufi, Your love is what makes a man (like me) to stand and break free. Be my force to repel all ego; to enslave myself to you like a creeper does to a tree; In fire and ice; In truth and lies, through death and high grounds, Your sweet redemption is the cure held for this malady/disease; sweeter kiss; completely unbound! Thoroughly Pleasing indeed.

Peace

Crystalline Attack

The last few days suffering from terrible cough and fever; I felt like how this earth has been feeling for such a long long time. The earth has a perpetual fever because of the parasitic virus called humans living thriving and killing on it.

I am sure most of us have undergone a really bad time of fever in our lives. Its not pretty at all. There are times when one is so weak and in despair and delirium that nothing is worth while except eternal sleep or numbing death. The body reeks in pain, and is ready to let go of everything. There is no sense in anything when one is under attack by parasites. 

Human beings are just like that, we justify our existence and then go out and finish up everything else that is living around us. We have systematically destroyed everything on this earth for our own greed and gluttony. The earth has tried to sustain us amicably and symbiotic ally, but to absolutely no respite. We humans take compassion and understanding from other species (and even ourselves) as signs of weakness. We believe that we are justified to be here, as many worlds great civilizations and religions state; that god made us to be here and everything on this earth was made for mans benefit (such statements are quite prominent in religions such as islam etc). And we create a fictitious god in our psyche to easily nullify all the wrong and pain we are causing for our petty benefit. This is truly the case with us 'parasites'. We think everything given or granted to us, is actually owed to us. Its not a boon or blessing. its our burden. I feel sick even without a viral sometimes at childish immature notions such as these, upheld and revered by the 'ancient' and 'wise' civilizations and thinkers of our time. 

We need to change, even though most of us are educated and know that certain things are no good, we are prone to apathy and laxness. We dont care, cause no one has supposedly cared enough for us, and that is where we are wrong. The world and nature cares for us enough to give us so many second chances to continue living on this planet, something we can never be ready to do with out foreign parasitic virus friends in our body. Think about it. Selfishness and selflessness, embodiment of greed and willing to bleed (for another). Which one will you and i want/choose to be, I know my path. Make yours concrete as well... 

So next time if its you versus doing something selflessly; giving up something so that you dont destroy something which also has a right to be here along with us on this earth, we can look at the symbolism of the virus in the human body, which multiplies and has but one purpose; to cause pain and demise to the host. To what use? to what need, as all of you who have gone through a bad case of viral would have felt i suppose as well. 

We are not virus', we are living loving consciousness and we are quite capable in proving that we shouldnt be classified with some non-living crystalline programmed killing machines. I hope we really can. For the good of our planet (our body) and ourselves. 

Shri Mahavidyas: Maha Kali

On the broken cross roads where roads diverge; On the battlefield where the blood flows; In the smashan; where smoke is all which is left; In the night where silence and sleep beckons the animals. Mother Kalika awakens and becomes all the more active...

When the child cries in distress at the cruel worlds play, when he looks to the sky and prays; Mother benign Maha kali opens her arms and removes this illusory world made of mud and clay... 

When the filth of ignorance assumes control and maha maya plays further more; Maha kali lolls her tongue and scoops all the gore. Burning down agony and gluttony is the Prime maha-vidya; Namoh Maha Kali....

The kinetic energy supreme is Maha Kali. In various moods and colors to the devotees, residing in places of strife and violence. Where energy is supreme and paramount; like the battlefield and the crematorium. She is ever present in destruction and creation for she is the one who is responsible for both completely. 

The downward pointing triangle is her symbol; symbolizing the Vulva and the feminine. She is kula-Kunadalini. The ego and energy endowed within each vessel of consciousness. She is the actor and the spectator. She fuels wisdom and love. Her bija mantra is Krim; for which decays and dwells in the smashan. Which has to be renewed with the life force at her feet. 

Most of you know the deity that is maha-kali. She is portrayed as mother and destroyer both. She stands atop her husband with frenzy to the fore. Lolling tongue and a garland of human skulls; she asks for blood more and more. Her weapon is the divine cleaver with the eye. She beheads all consciousness of the individual ignorant ego (symbolized with the head). Her devotion is won with the sacrifice of ones life force (prana) and/or of ones ego (the same way). 

Kali is the mother of secrets. For if she was to reveal herself; the entire play will end once more. She keeps hidden and lets her other (maha-maya) asssume the worlds affairs. Mother Kali only shows herself on the new moon night (amavasya); when darkness has assumed terrible control over everything. 

She is the first and primal symbol of the divine energy which pervades. She is complete; and signifies everything about the raw undiluted cosmic energy; the kinetic and fierce aspects as well as the creative and maternal/benign aspects which gives life and consciousness (shiva) to creation itself. 

Kali is unstoppable and uncontrollable and hence she is dangerous; just like any form of energy is. She can only be satiated or stopped momentarily when maha kala falls down at her feet to stop her from causing any more destruction. Funny how the worlds destroyer and the lord of time and death himself has to stop her from destroying. It shows the powerful imagery and iconography used by Indians in describing the primal energy. She cannot be let loose lest consciousness has to be removed permanently.

She is depicted in various stances, but she is shown generally with her right leg on shivas chest; signifying the sattvic or pure way to attain knowledge of her (the right hand path towards knowledge) and hence is worshipped in both agama and tantric ways of worship (unlike the second mahavidya- Maha tara).

She is shown as the slayer of demons like rakta-bija and many more. She is created herself from the divine feminine's third eye when everything else fails to save the world from ignorance or evil; she is supreme force.
And in tantra; she is worshipped as none other than the sacred snake- kundalini.

Her color is not exactly black but black blue hue. Her hair is wild and open and covers her naked body. She has ghouls and the departed dead for company, she is terrible with roaring fangs and lolling tongue. If you think the description is a joke then you are sadly mistaken. This is not some pathethic effort to bring out the supremeness of her status over other indian gods or even show that she is supreme in some fearful manner but this is how energy can be described to average humans, she wants blood and she wants our head. She wants to remove everything that does not stand in the way to evolution towards supreme consciousness, and then she wants that consciousness to be fed to her, morsel by morsel; piece by piece. She is all consuming devouring energy. When let loose; she will consume her own self. To create another kalpa-yuga of ignorance.

She is the protector of soldiers; for she was born herself in the battlefield amidst chaos and strife. She spares those who are willing not to spare themselves of ignorance and evil. She is the immediate cause and effect of now. She is freedom from illusion of separation, and she is the divine fragrance of jasmine burning on a corpse.

Her animal is the wild jackal, the ravenous raven, the night owl and the lion. She is blood thirsty and ever craving for sexual intercourse. She is united and sucks energy through her wide open mouth. She has a thousand heads and some more, her dance is wild and frightening (unlike refined tandava of shiva-consciousness). She is the bringer of death and disease. She is the final frontier until liberation sets one free.

Her haunt is the smashan ghat; where the rotting flesh and terrible screams of those still alive amuse her; She is  both giver of boons and blessings which bestow consciousness with growth and life. She will take life back too as it pleases her. She is supreme energy without interruption.
The mother is divine and terrible; to approach her is a blessing and a curse (if you approach her for material or maya related gains then you are done for); she will crucify you like she did to the saints of this world and a million others. She expects sacrifice, ego-less; and I assure you that you will have to be an adept and an expert at handling energy to be her child/consort or father. She is divine feminine... She is one who will sever us from our mortal bonds. She is the first and most disturbing aspect of energy signifying and symbolizing the chaotic universe and the energy that makes and flows within it. She is Om Namoh maha kali.

Peace

The Blacker Soil

The south of vindhyas hold deepest of secrets.  The island of India hit the mainland and created the snow covered mountains. yet the vindhyas never ever shook a single bit. There was something brewing far far ago; In this sun beaten land; covered in black gold.

The visitors flew by in their shiny ships; stopped by and atop arunachala took their masks off; and took deadly sips; of the plants present in abundance. The south of vindhyas took hold of these creatures from another world. They sat and contemplated on the wonder that was truly the subcontinent; for eons in silence and in awe. The magical skies from the island that was India took their breadth away!

The time passed not here; Where the tip met the oceans, Where the jungles vast and untarnished grew in their mystical nature. The sun couldn't penetrate their depths. In time what was; could simply pass as something which just could not be.

The blacker soil redemption in nature. Its dirt pulsed through the veins. Man beast and god became a slave to this lands eternal strange fate. The underground pulsed with murkier visions. The skies poured the never ending rain. The blacker soil of Deccan gave this world the first glimpse of divinities gain.
Solitude and remorse went hand in hand; as the idols of the alien gods darkened like the soil; gained demand. Though they still remain under the impenetrable rain forest cover; hidden with brimming nectar still ages old.
The story of the blacker reign still to this day unfolds.

I hold the darker soil in my hand, wishing that it taught me wisdom and command. It soaked me with its warm embrace. From the seas to the ghats to the plateau all at one place. It showed me patience and justice to those unjust. It asked nothing and gave everything to quench this thirst; where my generations are buried, where I shall be asking myself to be buried in turn... The soil asks nothing; gave everything for my burial in turn.

Every night I wake up in the dirt covered to my nose. The black soil of the Deccan; its reaped way more than I had ever sowed. The sensations covered deep within my heart; beats and beckons to become one; one again with this wise old black gold.

Shri Mahavidyas: Introduction

The Interval

On the outside; a brilliant sunset which casts the last glowing spots of spotlight. On the inside; the radiance begins in fervor, I sit and daydream and then I pace and cast myself into the slipstream.
The greatest moment; like a rocker on his death bed, the repugnance is purged; the smell of divine fragrance (jasmine) enslaves the snake within us all. It is the embodiment of purity. The sense of sincerity. The knowledge that every act of mine is final and it calls death to the fore; to be a spectator, to be enchanted with the brilliance/exuberance that is life. it makes death seem unimportant. It makes life to be glorious. An experience not even needing memory to hold it. For its repeated every single time in a new way. Another way to do the same old. Another way to grab and revel in the mystical alchemical gold. The gold which is cast from dust.

Metamorphosis is evolution. 

Love holds the kings throne; Truth is the ever strong halo beckoning the ignorant to come and kneel down at the scepter shining forth.
The shaman sees with the eyes of the hawk. From the edges of the carved mountains, which way is the fall. And where he shall rise. Then he flutters his wings, not once or twice but till they open up and lift him beyond the skies.
Oh avadutas (the free ones), why do we remain bound by what we create?
Oh shining ones, why do we not love and care and instead breathe hatred with every word we spare...

Into the slipstream where it all began, way beneath the psyche where we all are made (from birth). In the darkness where only the holy sound pervades. There is no form to be called I. Oh freedom it seems like another refreshing life.
Beneath the skin and deeper than the bone; Your true form to nurture will never go. Its what nature is; an embrace which unites that which never separated in the first place.  
My private space; Your private space; further than thought and dream; closer than heart and its beat. The slipstream is the meditation of ones own self. its the interval which you and I seek from lifes disheartening tales.
The slipstream collects the experiences within itself and distributes it further all over. Each existential experience in this way felt/touched/created in each I this world encounters.
Intertwined are we all; how ever far we try to isolate ourselves, what affects even one; affects the entire one.
The interval of meditativeness in my head and heart explain what it all is; and has become. The curtains fall and the entire universe collapses into the primordial seas of dream beckoned. The curtains are raised and I am privy to the most special sunrise from the same spot where the sun died the previous night.
Fear and doubt dispelled; I continue to stride and slide; in a sense unite with every step of mine. Taken from birth till the day death dispels any false notions which the interval could not crucify.

Peace